These Weapons I Make, The Weapons I Attach To Myself, They're For Self Defense Right? They're Only A

These weapons I make, the weapons I attach to myself, they're for self defense right? They're only a precaution right? Only two blades and a blunt object. That's where it'll end, right? Why do I feel like the more I make weapons, the closer I get to wrapping my hands around the grip of a glock? Am I turning myself away from my empathetic and gentle origins? I don't want to hurt people. I don't like it when people get hurt. Not usually. If I make more weapons am I only putting up the barricade around me with a door for friends or will the wall block out everyone? I don't want to be alone again.

So many weapons that could be made, and yet I don't know if I could even get myself to use them. I don't know if I could willingly put a blade through someone's flesh or bash a blunt object against someone's skull. Am I turning myself into a danger?

If I let myself strike someone, how long until I can strike at the ones I love without remorse? I need protection, I know, but how much is too much?

When do I wind up going too far?