Our Own Choices

Our Own Choices

Chapter 6

Everything's blurry when I wake up. I see bright lights shining onto me, and when I turn my head to the left I see some medical droids scanning me. I try to move, but my body won't listen. I'm panicking.

Why won't my body move?

The only thing that I can move right now is my head, and that hurts about as much as the rest of my body. I look around the medbay, there's no one else here.

Echo...

I see Rex walk into the medbay, and he takes a seat beside the bed I'm in, and he grabs my hand. He doesn't make eye contact with me. 

He looks worried. Did I make him angry? 

I look up at him. "...Dad?" My voice is shaky, it's just slightly louder than a whisper.

"Hey ad'ika." Rex looks up at me. "You had me worried over there."

Please don't give me a lecture, I don't think my brain can handle this shit right now.

I think Rex can read my thoughts, because he gives me a tired smile. "I'm just glad that you're safe, kid."

"Why can't I move?" I try to move again, but it's not working. I'm not going to be like this forever, right? This is gonna go away...right?

Rex sighs. "You took a pretty bad hit back there at the Citadel, it's a miracle that you're still alive. You have some bruising on your spine that's causing temporary paralysis, according to the medical droid over there, but it'll go away eventually."

He forgot to add the "I think" at the end of the sentence.

"Where's Echo?"

Rex sighs again. "Kid...Echo's gone."

I try to raise my head up from the bed, but a sharp pain shoots through my skull and I wince, resting my head back onto the bed. Rex gives me a slightly concerned look.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU GO BACK FOR HIM?!" I raise my voice as loud as I can, which isn't very loud.

Rex looks down. "Kid, we couldn't go back for him, there was no chance of saving him."

"THEN WHY DID YOU SAVE ME? WHY ME AND NOT HIM?!"

"Kid-"

"HE'S THE ARC TROOPER NOT ME! HE'S MORE VALUABLE, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HIM?!"

"Kid, we couldn't find his body. He's completely gone."

I rest my head back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "How long was I out for?"

"4 days," Rex replies, his grip on my hand is still tight. "Medical droid's been taking out shrapnel from your body, they're almost done, but they're gonna remove the last bits in a while, okay?"

I nod. "Where's my armor?"

"It's in the barracks, don't worry about it."

"My knife?"

"You lost it during the blast, we'll get you a new one once you're healed, don't worry about it."

I fall silent, and Rex and I just stay there for a while, until Rex stands up. "They're gonna take the last bits of shrapnel outta you, I'll come back in a bit when they're done, alright ad'ika?"

I nod, smiling slightly.

"Be careful with her," Rex says to the medical droid, before leaving the medbay.

The medical droid gives me the anesthesia to knock me out before the surgery, and it feels like only seconds after that I wake up.

 For the next few months, I'm forced to stay in the medbay. Rex visits me at least once a day, if he's on a mission he usually gives me a transmission. Sometimes Fives comes along with Rex, and they both tell me stories about their missions, and the exciting stuff that happened. 

Fives also made it to the top 5000 players in Legendary rank in Call of Duty, and now I'm at a lower rank than him, which is definitely not something I like.

I can barely move my body, but I can move my fingers slightly. 

Fives and Rex are always telling me that I'll recover soon, but I've been starting to lose hope. It's already been a few months, and I almost no better than I was when I arrived at the medbay.

It's so boring in the daytime, I have nothing to do, so I just stare at the ceiling, thinking of storylines, I've made up quite a few. There's this one where I crossed over this world and Ninjago and the movie Pacific Rim, where General Skywalker and Commander Tano piloted one of the giant robots called Jaegers along with my original character and some of the other people from Ninjago that Rex told me about. I even made up names for the Jaegers. Titan Grave, Striker Phoenix, Dark Interceptor, and Challenger Rex (Named after you know who). I even made up a name for the story, it's called Cancelling the Apocalypse.

Sometimes I think about what it would be like if Echo survived, but I try not to think about it too much. Would he be in my situation, paralyzed like me? It would be nice to have someone to talk to in the medbay.

The nights aren't any more enjoyable than the day. I always get nightmares of the explosion, and I keep waking up in the middle of the night, sweating. Rex seems to have noticed this, and he says that I have dark circles under my eyes, and he always asks if I get enough sleep at night.

One time, Rex and Fives came back from a battle on Umbara, and they told me about this Jedi General who was making men die on purpose, and how they killed the Jedi. 

Rex and Fives stay with me through the night.  As usual, I wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, breathing heavily. Unfortunately, Rex and Fives aren't heavy sleepers, and the moment they hear me wake up, they do the same.

Rex squeezes my hand gently. "You're okay kid, it's just a nightmare." I nod, still sweating, squeezing his hand back with the limited movement of my fingers.

A few weeks pass, and I've been able to move my limbs slightly, and I can turn my body now. I can sit up shakily in my bed, sometimes being able to slowly type out my stories on a holo-pad that Fives gave me, it takes me about a few hours to write a chapter. I tried playing Call of Duty ranked once, but my fingers can't move fast, and my team lost.

I've been discharged out of the medbay, and I'm in a wheelchair, I can't walk. Rex says that I've visibly grown thinner, I have no appetite. I don't really wear my armor anymore, I'm mostly just wearing my hoodie.

Rex has been trying to get me to walk again, but it's not working. I've managed to take a few shaky steps, and that's with my arms supporting me. My arms aren't doing any better either, I've lost so much muscle, I can barely support my own weight with them.

I keep asking Rex whether I can get back to physical training, but he keeps saying that I gotta recover fully first, which is annoying as hell.

A few more weeks pass, every day Rex or Fives or sometimes even Commander Tano try and help me to walk again, but every time, after a few steps, I fall to the ground, shaking.

I don't wear my helmet around her anymore, I trust her enough to not snitch. Not that Rex even allows me to wear my helmet anyways.

Rex comes back from Onderon in a few days, and as usual, he brings me to the training area and lets me use the wall to support myself and try to walk.

"What's the point of this?" I ask Rex as he extends a hand to help me stand. 

"Ad'ika..."

I stare blankly ahead, as usual. "We've been doing this for weeks, and I can barely take a few steps without collapsing. Not to mention, I can barely hold a gun steady, and ECHO'S GONE."

"Kid...just trust me on this, okay?"

I roll my eyes and grab his hand, helping myself up and leaning against the wall. My legs are shaking, but at least they've been shaking less for the past few days.

 If you wanna get back to the field, you better fucking be able to walk, how else are we gonna avenge Echo?

I think about this every time I try to walk. I feel the urge to kick clanker ass, I wanna make them pay for what they did to Echo. 

I manage to take the first few steps with one hand against the wall, supporting myself, like usual, and then now comes the part where my foot doesn't wanna move forward and I start feeling the resistance, it's less than usual today.

I see Rex staring at me from the side. I take a few deep breaths. 

Just get this over and done with...

I take a shaky step, closing my eyes and trying to relax. I can almost see the explosion that killed Echo and made me like this, I clench my fist, shutting my eyes tighter.

I take another shaky step, and take my hand off the wall. My legs are shaking more. 

Fuck my legs bro.

I force myself to take a few more steps, it feels like my legs are gonna give way soon, I lean against the wall, I can feel sweat running down my forehead.

I clench my fist again, and force myself to release my grip on the wall and take a few more steps. They feel lighter than the first few, and it's getting easier now, still slightly shaky.

I glance at Rex, he nods at me, and I take a few more steps, less shaky now. I speed up my steps, they're getting easier and easier, and soon I'm running around the place, feeling the wind in my hair, laughing for the first time in months.

And then I run over to Rex and hug him, and he's slightly startled and pats me on the back awkwardly, before hugging me back after a few moments.

"Thanks dad," I bury my head into his shoulder.

"Your welcome, ad'ika."

I can feel him smiling, and he hugs me tighter.

(sorry most of my favourite writers are on another site)

Man I’m tired and I’m sorry for bringing up some less pleasing stuff on here but I feel the need to talk about this. So recently I’ve noticed an increase in people using chat gpt to write fanfiction, even some in the hobbit fandom. Ai “art” has been a pretty difficult topic for me for a while, yet I want to talk about it more and bring people to understand the consequences of it. But I think it’s also important to bring awareness to the other parties suffering from the usage of ai. I chose Bilbo for this cause I think it’s funny how these ai “writers” forget that Bilbo is an actual writer, so to use a tool that steals from other creators would be the worst insult to his craft

So here’s what Bilbo says:

And here’s what I say, tag your favourite writers to show them support!!

@stoadsie @belalubroski @fantasyinallforms @conkers-thecosy @lucigoo @wolfsbane-and-nettles

hi guys imma start posting fics n original stories on tumblr

so i have a star wars x ninjago crossover, a bad batch fic, a pacific rim x star wars x ninjago fic, 2 unfinished original stories so yea

Your pfp is so cool!!

ayyy thanks bro i actually asked my friend @vexingvexvexes to draw it for me cos shes my friend from school

its a drawing of my first oc (self insert) called Aris in a fanfiction that i never finished it was supposed to be called age of the rebellion and shes anakins sister it was a star wars x ninjago crossover thing i should probably post it

i have some more art of aris so like yea

its a mandalorian style armor and also the belt is from a game called rec room its the bounty hunter belt and i really like it

:)

Layers

(Art is by my friend soap)

Chapter 1: The Waterfall

Warnings: None

Genre: Fantasy/Short Story

The limestone rocks dig into my already peeling fingers as I grasp another hold, hauling myself up to the edge of the cliff. I’m greeted by the sight of lush green trees looming over me, shielding me from the sun’s rays. I look behind me, reveling in the view of the sparkling blue ocean. 

“I’ll explore up here and abseil down in a bit!” I shout down at the person belaying me, taking a few steps into the cluster of trees before untying the rope from my harness. 

I set my bag down next to a tree, collapsing down onto a soft bed of leaves, inhaling that sweet familiar forest smell I recognise from home. I sigh as I lean back against the tree, staring out at the islands clustered together around the one I’m at. It’s so much better than being in the city. There, the constant need for caution strangles me, but here, the freedom comforts me.

It’s been 10 years since my parents divorced. I think I’m coping well. At least, I hope so. Climbing’s the only thing that makes me feel alive.

I wish I could stay here forever. 

I stuff my water bottle back into my bag, zipping it up and throwing it over my shoulders, before standing up and walking into the maze of trees that stands in front of me.

For a cliff, there’s a hefty number of trees up here. I keep walking for a few minutes, the thick canopy blocking most sunlight. Tree roots litter the ground, threatening to trip me every few steps. 

I hear birds singing. Perhaps there’s a nest nearby, with eggs inside. I wonder if they’d taste good. 

As I continue walking on, the singing of the birds starts to get drowned out by what sounds like a…waterfall? I don’t recall ever seeing a waterfall on the map. The leaves crunch under my footsteps. Until I realise they aren’t leaves anymore. They’re bones. Not human bones, but eerily similar. 

I should probably head back.

I turn around to walk back to the cliff, but a little voice in my head tells me to keep going.

What do you have to lose anyways?

Besides my life and my money?

Could be fun. Don’t be a wimp.

Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I continue walking ahead. The bones staring from the ground sending shivers down my spine. The sound of the waterfall keeps getting louder. A few moments later, I stop in my tracks.

I’m greeted with a black frame with its interior glowing a dull blue. The waterfall sounds seem to be coming from inside. The frame is covered with vines which hang over the blue light of the portal. The pulsing portal seemed to emit a mysterious yet inviting aura, and I can’t help but unconsciously drift towards it. 

Excuse me, what?! Um…I should probably go now before I get sucked in and die.

As I turn around and take my first step away from the portal, I feel a sharp tug at my core and I find myself plummeting down a waterfall, water splashing into my eyes and mouth and nose, barely any time to scream as I hit a pool of water feet-first, plunging into the dark depths. Yet it’s surprisingly warm. 

I quickly swim up, hanging onto my bag as I break the surface, taking a gasp of air.

It smells sweet. Like rainwater. Glowing blue flowers float on the surface of the pool, seemingly undisturbed by the cascade of water just a few meters away. In fact, the whole pool seems undisturbed. Bag in hand, I swim over to land and haul myself up, scanning my surroundings, still shaken from the fall.

What…was that…?

The terrain is vibrant. Too vibrant. Layers of red and white and teal and blue form the cliffside that the waterfall flows down from. 

Am I dreaming?

I pinch myself to check, my heart rate skyrocketing as I feel the pain. 

No no no... This isn’t good. I need to get back.

I run a few steps backwards, hoping to get a good view of whatever I just feel through, but all I see is an empty black frame. It would be too risky to free climb back up, especially since this is unknown territory.

The ground looks a somewhat like a staircase. Layer after layer of vibrant-coloured rocks lead down to a little village in the distance. Trying to calm my nerves and failing miserably, I sling my bag over my shoulders and head down the “stairs”, towards the village. 

The sky is painted yellow and orange and red, as if the sun is setting. But I see no sun. It will probably get dark soon. I start to pick up the pace as I worry about what may come out in the night, despite the seemingly peaceful surroundings. 

The colourful gravel crunches beneath my feet. But soon, the ground starts to even out. The layers start to disappear, leaving flat ground for me to walk smoothly on. Night has fallen, the sky now a dark blue spreading as far as I can see. 

The gravel slowly starts to turn into a tiled path. There are houses on both sides of the path, their lights giving off a warm yellow glow. I smell sugar donuts coming from a short building that has the words “Baked Stuff” on it.

My stomach growls.

I want donuts.

I head into the building, a little golden bell that’s connected to the door ringing as I walk in. 

“Welcome!” a…human-shaped mass of stone says. Its arms and legs look exactly like the cliff with the waterfall. I blink, pinching myself again to make sure I’m not dreaming.

“Um…hi,” I wave awkwardly at the stone person.

“Prices are stated here,” the stone person says, pointing to the little pieces of paper with a number written on them.

“I’m sorry…but what is the currency here, and how do I get some?” I ask.

The stone person narrows its eyes. “You’re new here, aren’t you?”

It knows?!

I stand still, my eyes scanning the stone person up and down, looking out for any threats, body tensing up.

“...Yes…” I say with a strained voice.

The stone person bursts out laughing. “Look at your face!” It doubles over, clutching its abdomen, before regaining its composure and standing up straight. It’s slightly shorter than me with its short, stubby legs. It passes me a donut with some blue glowing cookie crumbs on it. 

“Here. It’s on the house. Made from Waterfall Flowers,” it says, and I take the donut, hesitantly taking a bite.

The sweet yet sour flavour explodes on my tongue, and it reminds me of lemon sorbet. 

“Good, isn’t it?” the stone person asks, the rocks on its face moving to form something resembling a smile. I nod, my mouth full.

“If you’re looking for a place to stay for the night, there’s an inn a few houses down. Tell the receptionist that you’re my friend and you should get a free room. Have a good night!” the stone person calls as I walk out of the shop, waving goodbye. “Thank you!”

I walk down the path, devouring the donut in a few bites, before reaching the inn. Another stone person stands at the reception, little blue glowing rocks embedded in its body. 

“Hi…uh…I'm friends with the person at the bakery…she said I could get a free room here?” I walk up to the counter, avoiding eye contact. 

“Oh? Sure! Yours is room 130,” the receptionist says, passing me a glowing blue flower.

I take the flower, unsure of what to do with it, but not daring to question the receptionist. Something feels off about these people. It probably doesn’t help that they’re made out of literal stone.

Soon, I reach room 130, finding a flower-shaped lock on the door. I press the flower into the lock, causing it to glow before the door swings open in front of me. 

The room is carpeted, a single bed in the middle and a toilet near the entrance. Without hesitation, I throw my bag to the floor and fall onto the bed, letting the softness hug me to sleep.

When I wake up, I’m no longer in the room. Layers of rock press against my back. Glowing blue vines immobilise me. I hear the waterfall.

What’s going on?!

I struggle futilely against the vines. It smells sweet. Almost too sweet. Panic starts to set deep in my gut, rendering me frozen.

Some of the rocks on the walls slide down next to me, clinging to the vines almost as if trying not to fall. A few move to box me in against the cliff, forming a large humanoid shape. Little blue lights decorate its surface. 

A collection of voices ring out simultaneously. I hear the shop owner and receptionist’s voice, along with a few others I don’t recognise.

“Hehe. You really are like the others.” 

happy bad batch eve-

WAIT NOOOOOOO

im still not over tbb :(

i need more crosshair drowning scenes im just addicted to crosshair suffering atp

Our Own Choices

Chapter 7

It's been a few weeks now, and I can almost fully function again. I've just managed to hold a pistol steady without my arm shaking, and my knife skills are slightly worse than before but I can probably survive out in the field. Rex still hasn't let me go out on missions yet, he says I have to fully recover first, even though I already have.

When Rex and the 501st come back from the battle of Ringo Vinda, but when I look around for Fives he's not there. Rex says he's on Kamino watching over this clone trooper called Tup whose inhibitor chip malfunctioned during the battle. 

I'm also biologically 18 years old now, so Rex allows me to go to the clone bar now, maybe I'll hangout with Fives there when he gets back. I usually go to there in the nights, I occasionally see Kix and Jesse there.

It's been a few days, and Fives still hasn't come back from Kamino. Kix just told me that people said that Fives tried to kill the Chancellor, and he gives me coordinates on where to find Fives. He says Rex and General Skywalker will be there as well. I probably won't be able to keep out of sight anyways, with a Jedi there and everything.

I see Rex and General Skywalker walk through the place, it's kinda dark so General Skywalker ignites his lightsaber and it casts a blue glow around the area, I head towards them, almost completely silent.

I think Rex hears my footsteps cause the moment I walk up behind him, he whips around and points his pistols at me. General Skywalker does the same, lightsaber in hand and probably ready to slice me in half.

"Oh, great," Rex groans. 

"Heyyyy captain, General, Kix gave me the coordinates to come here as well," I say awkwardly. 

"I thought I told you not to go out on missions until you fully recovered?!" Rex says, lowering his pistols. He's definitely gonna give me a lecture later. Rex and General Skywalker turn around again and scan the area for Fives, I stand behind them doing the same.

"Fives? Fives, we're here," General Skywalker calls out. "Cmon out, we just wanna talk to you."

"Fives?" I take off my helmet so that he can recognize my voice. "Where tf u bro?"

"General Skywalker." I hear Fives' voice, but I can't pinpoint where exactly he is. "Thank you...thank you for trusting me." He doesn't sound good. "Have you come without troops?"

"We have," General Skywalker says, he and Rex and both alert, and I do the same, my pistol in one hand and my knife in the other. (It's a new knife that Rex got me, it has the same pattern as my sword, much to my delight)

"Put down your weapons then!" Fives sounds slightly panicked. 

"I don't think so, Fives," General Skywalker says.

"Please sir! Please, I'm unarmed."

General Skywalker nods at me and Rex and I drop my pistol and knife on the floor. General Skywalker retracts his lightsaber as well.

Rex puts his pistols down on a nearby crate and notifies Fives. 

"What are we here for, Fives?" General Skywalker sounds cautious.

"I need your help."

"I know you do. We know you're not well. It's been rough for you, these past couple of days."

"I'm not crazy!" Fives sounds kinda desperate. "Please...please just-just hear...what I have to say." He's breathing heavily, definitely been drugged or injured.

"I don't think someone like you would ever manage to go insane, considering you play sniper in Call of Duty and on mobile sometimes," I try lightening the atmosphere a bit, the dim light in the area is making me feel uneasy.

"We're here to help you Fives, just come with us," General Skywalker says, and we walk in the general direction that we think Fives is at. "Just let us take you back to the temple."

Suddenly, a ray shield comes down from above and surrounds all 3 of us, preventing us from being able to get anywhere. General Skywalker bangs a fist against the ray shield before Fives comes out from behind one of the crates. 

"I just need you to listen to me...please!"

"I'm not really sure we have any other choice," General Skywalker responds, crossing his arms.

"We're listening to you, Fives," I assure him, I don't need him getting anymore mentally unstable than he is right now.

"I was framed! Because I know the truth, the truth about a plot. A master deception."

"By who?" Rex steps forwards a bit.

"Well there's a sinister plot, and it works against the Jedi! I have proof of it! I can prove that everything I know is true beyond a shadow of a doubt!" Fives holds his head in his hands at one point, he's definitely been drugged, I don't know by who, but it feels like he's telling the truth, and someone's trying to get him not to.

"Show me the evidence," General Skywalker says.

Fives holds the left side of his head with his hand. "The...evidence...is..in here," he points towards the left side of his head. "I-it's in here. It's in all of us, every clone!"

"What is it?" Rex asks.

"It's in all of us?!" I ask.

"Organic chips built into our genetic code..." Fives puts a hand to his head again. "To make us do whatever someone wants, even kill the Jedi." Fives takes a step forward, pointing at the left side of his head again. "It's all in here."

General Skywalker glances sideways at Rex, and Rex puts a hand to the back of his neck, I speak up. "Fives-"

"Let's just get you some help first, then we can review everything. It'll be okay, Fives, we'll sort this out," General Skywalker cuts me off. It's definitely not gonna help the situation. 

"YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME!" Fives shouts, and I can hear it in his voice, he's desperate for someone to believe him.

"Fives, we are listening to you, we only want to help," Rex tries to calm Fives down. 

"How do I know you're not tricking me? How do I know...that it won't be a trap? The chancellor was trying to kill me, I-I promise you that!"

"Fives, why would I be here if it was a trap, I may be dumb sometimes in battle royale but I'm not that dumb," I say, trying to reassure him, I'm not really doing a good job.

"The chancellor?" General Skywalker asks.

"He's in on it!" Fives says, putting a hand to his head again. "I don't know to what extent, but I know he orchestrated much of this. He told me in the medical bay!"

"He told you?" General Skywalker sounds slightly more aggressive now. "When you tried to assassinate him? You have gone too far, Fives. The chancellor is incapable of what you claim."

"General, you're not really helping here," I tell him. 

The popular belief isn't always the correct one.

"He is!" Fives protests. "I swear to you, General, you have no idea-"

Suddenly, Coruscant Guard troopers appear from behind the crates, pointing their blasters at Fives. "Stand down soldier. STAND DOWN! GET ON YOUR KNEES!"

"No, no, STAY BACK!" Fives looks at Rex's pistols from the side.

"Don't do it, don't do it soldier!"

"FIVES DON'T DO IT OR I'LL STEAL UR KILLS IN FUCKING BATTLE ROYALE!" I shout, I know he hates it when I steal his kills, and if he doesn't stand down now he's gonna get shot.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Fives takes one of Rex's pistols and points it at the Coruscant Guards, and Commander Fox shoots him in the chest.

"FIVES!" I shout, banging on the ray shield, slamming my body against it desperately as Fives drops the pistol, breathing heavily, and drops to the ground. It's like finding out Echo's dead all over again. That sickening feeling in my stomach as I see his body, the way my insides tense up, I never wanted to experience that again, but here I am now. 

"Fives!" Rex shouts, and General Skywalker orders the Coruscant Guards to turn the ray shield off. Rex starts banging against the ray shield with me, he's calling out Fives' name again.

One of the Coruscant Guard troopers shoots the ray shield generator and Rex and I run to Fives' side.

"Fives...brother..." Rex kneels down next to him, and I kneel beside him. "GET A MEDIC," Rex and I shout at the same time, but no one moves, they know it's too late, and I know as well, I just don't accept it yet.

Fives' breathing is erratic, he's not gonna make it-no he is gonna make it, he is gonna make it...

"Kid...? Rex...?" Fives' voice is half-weak. "Fives?" Rex asks. "This...it's...bigger than any of us...anything...I could've imagined..."

"Save your strength Fives, we'll get you to the medbay," I say, and Rex looks at me with that look in his eyes, I know Fives is not gonna make it, but there's still a slim chance right? I'll take any chance I can get.

"I never meant...to..." Rex holds Fives close to his ear so that he can hear him. "I only wanted to do my duty..."

Fives' breathing is heavy. 

"Fives? Stay with me Fives. Fives?" Rex sounds desperate. 

"FIVES IF YOU DIE...I'M GONNA KILL YOU," I hold back my tears, can't show weakness in front of the other troopers. 

"The mission...the nightmares...they're...finally...over." And then his body goes limp as he closes his eyes, and Rex shakes him by the shoulders. "Fives? No, Fives, cmon Fives, stay with me, stay with me, Fives, Fives, don't go..."

I shake Fives by the shoulders. "Fives? W-wake up! Please, stay with me, cmon man, don't give up on me like this, we still gotta keep our top 5000 in legendary rank until end of season 4 of COD, remember?" I wipe my eyes with the corner of my sleeve. "Fives?"

Rex sighs and puts Fives' body down on the ground, his head lowered. General Skywalker puts a hand on his shoulder, and Rex looks at me, putting a hand on my shoulder, pulling me close to him. 

I stare down at Fives' body blankly, trying hard not to cry. I look up at Commander Fox, the bitch that shot Fives, and then I look at my knife on the floor not too far away, I clench my fist, all thoughts cleared from my mind except one.

Kill him.

I stand up from the floor, moving over to pick up my pistol and knife. I clip the pistol to my belt.

Kill him.

I run over to Fox, my knife in hand, shouting, "FUCK YOU," letting all that grief for Echo, Hevy, and now Fives, out on him, trying to stab my knife through the crevices in his armor, aiming for the neck, getting a good hit on the face as Fox tries to throw me off of him. The other troopers aim their blasters at me as Rex runs over and pulls me back.

"Kid...kid! Stop!" I can hear the desperation in his voice, I struggle against his grip, knife still in hand, trying to reach Fox.

"LET...ME...AT...HIM..." my voice comes out lower than expected, I'm seething with rage right now, my mind still telling me to kill Fox and avenge Fives-

One of the troopers fires a stun bolt at me and my entire body goes numb and everything goes black.

When I wake up, I'm in a Republic prison cell, and Rex walks in, his expression grim, he doesn't look happy. I crack my neck a bit, slightly sore from the stun bolt.

Rex grabs me by the shoulders. "What were you thinking?!"

"I WAS THINKING TO KILL HIM, WHY DID YOU STOP ME?! I WANTED TO AVENGE OUR BROTHER, YOU-" I stop myself before I swear at him.

Rex sighs. "Look kid, you can't just attack a trooper like that and expect nothing to happen. I managed to get them to let you off the hook this time, but you're grounded."

"WHAT?! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" 

"Yes I can. No more going on missions until I say so, and the other troopers will be keeping an eye on you." His stare is blank, yet stern, and I know the blank part is because he's trying to get over what happened to Fives.

"Fives..." I hold my head in my hands as everything comes rushing back. My stomach tightens again, it's like a choking feeling, the grief, it feels like I can't breathe, but I don't allow myself to cry freely, just looking down at the floor and closing my eyes tightly.

"Let's go." Rex grabs my arm and drags me out of the cell, back to the barracks and my room, and he doesn't say anything as he closes the door behind him.

I move to a corner of my room and curl up into a ball, finally letting everything out, crying loudly, burying my face in my knees, I can't stop until there's no more tears left to cry, and then all that comes out from me in the next few hours is just dry sobs, and I punch the wall a few times, my knuckles bleeding, but I don't care.

Fives...

After hours and hours of crying, I take out my datapad and go into Call of Duty. I get to my loadouts for battle royale and multiplayer, and I change the weapons in my loadout to the ones I perfectly memorized just to beat him every time in 1v1.

I change all my loadouts to the ones Fives uses.

(im too lazy to type it out again)

Our Own Choices

Chapter 9

"So how'd you know I was on that gunship? I was specifically extra stealthy that time," I ask Rex as we jump off the vehicle that Crosshair was driving as we arrive back at the base. I put on my helmet. 

"You've done it 19 times, kid. I know when you've clipped yourself to the outside of the gunship just by the sound of it," Rex replies, not bothering to look at me. He's not even bothering to scold me for coming here without his permission. I think he's just tired of me, he does have a job to do as a captain as well.

But why should I listen to him anymore? Even though he's technically my superior in the GAR, I don't need him anymore. I'm biologically 20, I can handle myself. But clearly he doesn't think so, considering how he usually doesn't let me on missions anyways. He says the reason that he grounded me was because he didn't want me getting myself killed out in the battlefield because of my impulsiveness.

"But there was no sound-" I protest as the bad batch walk past me, and I stare at them as they walk to their ship.

They're really cool. They don't fit in here, just like me.

Rex nudges me in the side, I take it as a sign to go to the ship as well. Rex says he talked to General Skywalker and he says that he'll have to wait for the council to approve of the mission to Skako Minor to get Echo. I'm surprised that he lets me come along on this mission. I guess he knows that there's no stopping me when it comes to saving my brothers.

As I head into the ship, I receive looks from the batch. 

"What?" I ask.

Tech looks back to his datapad, Wrecker goes to lift the gonk droid in the back of the ship, Hunter just sits there staring at me, and Crosshair is checking his rifle. I take off my helmet and lean against a wall, staring at Wrecker and the poor gonk droid, and then to toothpick boi.

Gotta admit, their armor is really cool. Crosshair's got that belt thingy with a bunch of places to store ammo, almost like my own. And then he's got that bar thingy on his left shoulder armor, probably for his rifle or something. Hunter has a random bandana for the dog shit on his head, with a small skull on it. Wrecker's helmet would scare the absolute shit outta me if I saw that first thing in the morning. Tech's helmet is cool, at least it hides his receding hairline. Whatever.  At least now I'm not the only one with dark-colored armor. 

Anyways, Rex and General Skywalker board the ship soon enough and we set off for Skako Minor. Tech's flying the ship, while General Skywalker checks out Crosshair's rifle and Wrecker's still lifting poor Gonky.

"So, how many missions has your team been on, Sergeant?" General Skywalker asks Shithair as he passes Crosshair's rifle back to him.

"Honestly sir, I've lost count. All the action sorta blurs together," Hunter replies, and that felt like a big "skill issue lmao" smack in the face.

"I know you work with Cody sometimes, but who do you guys report to?" Rex asks.

"Hm, good question," Hunter says, crossing his arms. "Can't say I've got an answer." 

And then I'm reminded of that "good question" Shrek meme that I saw on the holonet a few days before I came to Anaxes, and I try to keep a straight face.

Wrecker, who's still lifting Gonky, chews on a big ass chicken drumstick which I think was kept in the ship's storage area for days. Then, the ship suddenly shakes.

"We are approaching Skako Minor," Tech reports. "It looks to be a difficult landing."

So we strap in and Wrecker gently sets Gonky down, before going to the co-pilot's seat with Tech. The ship shakes a bit until we land on the ground, and we stand up and head towards Tech and Wrecker.

"Rex, what do we know about this place?" General Skywalker asks, Rex standing next to him. Toothpick boi and I stand behind them as I play with my knife, because I'm just kinda bored and need something to do with my hands.

"On this part of Skako, there's a race of locals, the Poletecs. All we know is they're very primitive," Rex replies.

"Primitive is being kind," Tech says. "My intel says the Poletecs worship flying reptiles."

Suddenly, one of those flying reptile thingies land on the front window of the ship, cracking it slightly. I look out, sheathing my knife into my wrist compartment.

"Oh! What the heck was that?" Wrecker looks out the same time as I do. "It's one of those reptiles," Tech says.

"I want that thing off my ship," Hunter says, sounding really annoyed, before moving to get off the ship.

"Hold on! Hold on! Don't just run out there," Rex tries to warn them but we all run out anyways because which one of us even follows orders?

We see the Poletec and a flying reptile thing jumping on the ship. General Skywalker ignites his lightsaber and Wrecker points his blaster at it, and I'm tempted to do the same.

"Hey! Get off of there!" Wrecker shouts.

"Hey, calm down. We needa talk to them," General Skywalker says.

"Why?" Hunter asks.

"The General's right," Rex says, and then I hear some more flying reptiles in the distance, and I spin around to look at them, blaster and sword drawn. General Skywalker pushes Rex out of the way so that Rex doesn't get clawed to death by the reptiles. We all point our blasters towards them, unsure of whether to shoot or not.

Suddenly, the flying reptile and the Poletec on the ship swoop down and grab General Skywalker. He's caught off guard, dropping his lightsaber, and I throw my knife at the reptile before it can get too far away. It hits the reptile in the chest, but not deep enough to be a lethal shot, although I can hear it screeching as it flies away. Rex fires his pistol at the reptile but none of the shots hit.

"I have a thermal reading," Tech says. "Point two five east, elevation 175." His visor is lowered.

"Relax. I'll handle this," Crosshair says, before attaching a grappling hook to his rifle and using Tech's shoulder as support (we'll never get to see this again this is so sad), shooting it at the reptile. It hits and Hunter attaches the cable to himself.

"What are you doing?" Rex asks.

"Going for a ride." And then Hunter's lifted off his feet, flying into the air.

I just stare at Crosshair, eyes widened. Holy shit that was fucking cool. Bro really has to be so pro at sniping.

And then I think of my own sniping skills which are slightly decent at best and suddenly I'm filled with a slight jealousy of his skills. Like bro he gets to be badass and do all those fucking trick shots and I'm stuck here throwing knives.

Shut up.

"Tech, I'm with the General. Hone in on my signal," I hear Hunter say through the comms. Tech and the rest of us head back to the ship and do so, before heading to Hunter's location. We land on a ridge near what looks like the Poletec village and run down to Hunter, who's near the edge, looking across at the village.

"That creature still has a hold of the General," Hunter says.

Rex zooms in on the village, and I do the same, seeing the General getting pinned under one of those reptiles' claws. "We're going in, but remember what the General said. No casualties, disarm only," Rex says.

"We're on it, Captain," Hunter says. "Wrecker, Crosshair, rockslide."

The rest of us slide down the ridge to the village as Wrecker and Crosshair push a really big rock down the ridge, and we run behind it as it knocks down some tall but not-so-advanced structures, using the dust as cover.

We shoot at the weapons that the Poletecs are holding, disarming them. I throw a few knives at their weapons, they all hit their target and disarm them. 

We run to the place where General Skywalker is, and I see some electrified thing hit the claw that's holding General Skywalker, probably shot by Crosshair, and the reptile jumps back, letting General Skywalker dodge the rock that's rolling towards him. We all point our blasters at the Poletecs in case they try to do anything. 

The Poletec that Hunter's pointing his blaster at speaks some alien language, and Hunter asks Tech to translate what he's saying.

Tech steps forward, presses a few buttons on that control panel on his wrist, and moves his visor down above his eyes. "He says he does not want our war on his planet. That is why he took our leader."

The rest of us still point our blasters at the Poletecs. 

Can we just hold them at gun/knifepoint and just get them to give us whatever info we want?

"We didn't bring the war here. It was Wat Tambor and the Separatists," General Skywalker says.

Tech translates what General Skywalker said into the alien language, something that both Crosshair and I find kinda funny as I'm tryna hold in my laughter as we all lower our blasters. Definitely gotta roast Tech for that.

"Tell him we apologize for what's happened," Rex says. "But tell him the enemy is holding one of our men prisoner in Purkoll.  As soon as we rescue him, we'll leave his planet for good."

Tech translates what Rex said into the alien language again, and I try my best to keep a straight face. This is just too funny. 

As Tech and the Poletecs talk some more and agree about sending scouts and stuff to help find the city, I run to the reptile that I threw my knife into and rip it out. It's wedged kinda deep in there, and when I pull it out, it's covered in red blood, dripping onto the floor. The reptile screeches and tries to attack me, but I shoot it with a stun blaster a few times and it's knocked out. The other Poletecs move to attack me, but then Rex and Tech help to calm them all down.

"Woah woah woah, calm down, she's just tryna get her weapons, no need to panic," Rex says, and Tech helps translate it. The other Poletecs calm down when what I think is their leader nods at them.

I pull my other knives out from the weapons that I threw them at and head back to the others.

"Nice going," Crosshair knocks his shoulder into mine as we set off with the other scouts, the sarcasm in his voice is obvious. I cross my arms as I follow behind him. "Thanks."

We follow the scouts quite a bit of distance and find ourselves on a really high cliff. The Poletec scouts point at what looks like Purkoll in the distance before walking down the direction we just came up in.

"Hope nobody's scared of heights," General Skywalker says. I try not to let it show, although sometimes heights get on my nerves.

Hunter and Crosshair look at Wrecker.

"Well I'm not scared of nothing. I just...When I'm up real high, I got a problem with gravity," Wrecker says.

"That's being scared of heights, Wrecker. You're real smart," I roll my eyes under my helmet, standing next to Rex.

"Speaking of problems," Tech, who's standing behind Wrecker, speaks up. "I am no longer picking up Echo's signal."

"I...I don't understand," Rex says. "You said it was coming from this city." He points towards Purkoll.

"I can only speculate, but it is possible there's a latency issue with the frequency caused by all these atmospheric disturbances."

"Or, maybe they sent the signal to lure us into a trap," Hunter suggests. "And maybe your friend's actually dead." He folds his arms. "Well, I can't be the only one thinking of that."

"Every mission could be a trap," Rex and I say at the same time, and I glare at him, falling silent. "This one is no different," Rex continues. "I'm telling you that signal is being sent by Echo himself! He's alive!" I nudge Rex in the side. "Be realistic, Captain. There's not really a high chance that that's gonna happen."

"I think you're letting your personal feelings get in the way because you left him for dead at the Citadel," Crosshair says, and I clench my fist around one of my knives, which is sheathed in my belt right now. That eagerness to punch him in the face out of pure anger, it's strong, but I resist it. Not really the logical thing to do right now.

"I had no choice, you hear me?!" Rex, unlike me, isn't doing much of a good job hiding his anger.

"Oh, I don't blame you. I would've left him for dead too. Besides, he's just another reg."

I'm breathing heavily under my helmet, one hand gripped on the hilt of my knife, the other with my nails digging so hard into my skin, even though my glove, it leaves marks. Even though Crosshair is directing his words towards Rex, it's having an effect on me as well. 

And then Rex punches Crosshair in the face/helmet, knocking him to the ground. 

"Yoooo Rex, just chill!" I try to get him to calm down, but he's not stopping. I pull out my pistol and point it to Crosshair's head as Wrecker picks Rex up by the back of his armor. "I called first dibs."

"Hey! Why don't you pick on someone not your size?" Wrecker throws Rex to the ground, who almost instantly gets up, walking up real close to Wrecker. "You'll be a whole lot smaller when I'm through with you."

My pistol is still pointed to Crosshair's head, my finger resting on the trigger, my other hand drawing my knife and pressing it under his helmet and to his neck, I'm breathing heavily, all sense of logic gone, it's the same feeling when Fox killed Fives. And it's strong.

"That's enough!" General Skywalker puts a hand on Rex and Wrecker's shoulders, pushing them away from each other before Wrecker beats Rex to clone mush, and then he pushes me and Crosshair apart before I can get any more blood on my knife. 

"Sergeant, take your men and scout the area for a tower entrance. I want to talk to my troopers alone," General Skywalker orders, sounding slightly fierce.

Rex and I stay behind as the batch walk away. Toothpick bitch glances back at us for a moment, before looking away.

"Rex, Aris, I hate to say it, but...you have to prepare yourself for the possibility that Echo is dead, and this is all a Separatist trick," General Skywalker puts a hand on our shoulders.

"Sir, I have watched so many of my brothers fall during this war, and I try not to hang on to any one of them," Rex says, taking off his helmet. "But that changed when I heard that Separatist transmission. It was no algorithm. That was Echo's voice. I know it."

"And if there's any chance that Echo, my brother, is still out there, alive, we have to take it," I add on, taking off my helmet as well.

"I hope you're right," General Skywalker says. "But if, for some reason, you're wrong..."

"Then I'll deal with it," Rex and I say at the same time.

And I've learned to deal with it on my own. No "Dad" to comfort me or help me. That's what I did with Fives. And if I have to do it again with Echo, I will.

All I'll need to do is constantly wipe the blood off my knives, and make sure no one sees the wounds on my arms.