A Song I Currently Enjoy A Lot.

Entry #6

Pesto got together with his crush! After one and a half years of trying, he finally managed to win her over. I'm so proud of him! Now I'll just hope she makes him happy.

It's still really warm, but I'm able to sleep so it's fine, I guess.

Otherwise, nothing happened. Bao!

Entry #32, 11/2/20

Bonjour, mes amis! I hope you’re doing well! ^^ There hasn’t been much going on lately, so I didn’t really have anything to tell you. I just wanted to quickly get out some facts about the school changing and put them out there.

So, number one: I won’t be able to change schools until after summer break. There’s no space in the classes right now, but hopefully they’ll accept me next year ^^

Second: Class starts at 7:50, so 10 minutes later than right now. I think it ends at about 12:45 as well, I’m not sure.

Yeah... not much, I know, but I didn’t intend this to be long anyway.

Oh, there is one more thing though! I got my report recently, and I only got 2 D’s this year! I’m honestly kinda impressed by myself, since I didn’t really study... But I want to change that! I need a really good report when I graduate, so I think I should start actually studying by now ^^° Anyways, that was it for now! Seeya soon!

~Mary~

Entry #28, 19/12/19

Hello!~

So, how has your week been? I hope it was better than mine! I had to (re-)take three exams! One in English, one in biology and another in math today! I am allowed to retake the math one, because I wasn’t there when they started the new subject, and I am really glad my teacher understands that I need more time to study. (Especially cuz I’m stupid---) Anyways, enough from school. Let’s get to the school changing part instead~ So, I basically had to choose a new school to change to, because the other’s a private school, and that would miss the whole point of changing schools. Instead of a private school, I picked a public school near the other I chose before.

OH. MY. CHINCHILLA. Peeps, I just remembered that MCR will start their reunion tour tomorrow! I am absolutely THRILLED to hear the new album they’re definitely gonna drop soon, right? Of course they would. They’d give us all the best gift for Christmas that one could ask for. Right?

Ah floop, I just realized I still have stuff to do. I’ll see you soon!

The edgy emeow~

Entry #13, 9/6/19

Please, send help. I'm in the outside world, around people i don't know, and I have to listen to polker. HELP. ME. GUYS. I have to stay until 8 pm, and the minute I'm writing this it's 19:21. Please I'm begging you, get me out of here.

Statusupdate 19:27: I'm allowed to listen to my own music through earphones! Yes, I'm saaveeedddd! By the way: my favorite Band is MISSIO. Awesome music. Something else, not the normal pop, not kpop, not anything I can't stand! They're awesome! I'll see if I can get Band-T's! Oh, Someone just asked me what I wanted to eat. There's food? So this wasn't complete bullshit, only mainly crappy! I is happy as long as there's food. I'll keep you updated.

Entry #21, 22/10/19

Apologies for my inactivity. I was at my big sister's place, and for obvious reasons I had no time to keep you updated.

Now that that's all cleared up... I have news. I got alcohol markers today! (From Touch, if anyone's wondering.) They're my first ones, and I of course already tried them out. I'll show you the result in the following post, maybe I'll publish all the pictures I took (from sketch to shading). Depends on if I want to or not. I personally think it turned out alright for my first attempt, and the fact that I was kinda experimenting with the thickness of the fineliner and the darkness of the shadows. I'm actually surprised I got the sketch not to look like absolute garbage, unlike normally.

I've decided to question my friendship with Pesto. He made fun of my interests (especially watching Anime and reading Warrior Cats), always tries to make me stay in a call with him by saying

You're just going because you don't like me.

Even after I said I'm tired. I immediately thought of it as toxic behavior, but ignored it, not noticing how much I wanted to avoid any conversation.

Yep, that's pretty much everything that has happened.

I'll see you around!

-Mary

Chapter 2

>>Kachan!<< Deku cheered loudly. The one who appeared to be Kachan stared at Izuku, with a glare that reminded Mary of those annoying little dogs, what were they called?  She appearently forgot at that point, but before she could continue thinking about it, she was cut off by him yelling: >>My name is BAKUGO! GET IT RIGHT, YOU IDIOT!<< He looked at Deku angrily, and Mary noticed many small explosions coming from his hands. Is that his quirk?, she asked herself. It most likely was, but you never know what kind of gadet that guy might have. And something that was even more questionable: How can anyone have such an attitude towards someone as cute and innocent as Deku? Was there more to him? Maybe he's like the Yandere girl from the video game she used to play so often and frequently? What was the game's name again..?

Mary was ripped out of her thoughts by a red haired boy with sharp teeth trying to calm Bakugo down. His teeth reminded her of a shark a bit. How can you have teeth shaped like that? , she silently questioned. Mary observed the whole situation quietly.  >>LET ME GO, KIRISHIMA!<< Bakugo snapped at the spiky-haired guy. So... Kirishima, huh? He looked like a genuinely nice person, smiling nicely even though he was holding down the angry... pomeranian, that's the name! She giggled to herself a little, acknowledging the resembelance. >>WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT, EXTRA?!<< he spat in her face, his own now forming into a frown, only showing the upper row of one side of his teeth. Is that considered fletching your teeth if you're a human?, Mary started to think again. She was easily distracted, especially when something was confusing or a ''shower thought'', as her favorite platform dumblr called it. Though... this fell more into the first category. Meanwhile, Deku and Ururaka tried to calm down the still furious human incarnation of anger, alongside Sharky-Boi.

Mary was just watching the show, holding back a smirk, waiting for someone to hand her popcorn, when someone tapped her shoulder. She turned her head to see who it was, only to find someone extremely close to her face. She flinched and punched the person out of reflexes, and only then did she realize whose stomach exatly she just punched: that's right, it was Denki, the first person she interacted with. Is winking at someone an interaction? She pushed the thought aside and turned her attention to the yellow-haired boy. Her voice was dripping with regret and worry, and when she started blabering an excuse and asking for forgiveness, Kaminari just chuckled. >>Hey, it's okay, hun!~<< He finally said, and when he saw the confusion that was clearly visible on her face, added: >>You didn't punch me that hard. Besides, my awesome muscles wouldn't let any punch hurt me too bad~<<He smirked self confidently, trying to show off how ''cool'' he was. It was kinda cute, but she just scoffed. >>Suuuure.<< Mary laughed, while he looked at her, suspicion in his eyes. >>What do you mean by that?<<  >>I said ''Sure'', so what could I mean by that other than ''yes''?<< she asked sarcastically. He didn't seem to get it, and regained his bright smile. >>Oh, okay! Ithought you were being sarcastic! Bakugo said that people are sometimes sarcastic about things, and that you can spot sarcasm in the tone of voice... So I guess I got a little confused there, sorry!<< Seeing him smile like that... it made Mary wonder. Did he actually have a boyfriend? >>So, uh.. Denki, right?<< He nodded. >>Yep, that's me! Denki Kaminari, the greatest, smartest, funniest and coolest of them all!<< He flashed her that confident smirk again. It made her smile a little too, and she completely ignored Bakugo yelling behind her now. >>yep, great. Can I ask you a question though?<< Denki smirked. >>I knew you'd have questions about this great guy~<< he pointed to himself with his thumbs. Mary looked at him and asked very straight-forward:

><Do you have a boyfriend?<<

Kaminari looked confused. >>Uh... wh-... what?<<

>>I asked if you had a boyfriend<<, Mary repeated. >>N-No? I'm... not gay???<< She carefully inspected him from head to toe once again. >>oh... Sorry! Do you have a girlfriend then?<< Wow, good job fucking things up. You couldn't ask if he was gay first, could ou? Nope, just jump straight to assumptions. >>I.. don't, but I could totally get any girl around if I wanted one!<< He blushed a little out of embarressment. >>Of cooooourse you could. No doubt.<< She said, once again sarcastically. He didn't seem to get it now, either, so Mary just gave up on sarcasm. >>Finally someone agrees! Most people just say ''no'' when I say that..!<< >>I wonder why.<< Mary replied before laughing slightly. She remembered that there was a dog she had to meet, and turned around to a grumpy, not-yelling Bakugo, an apologetic Kirishima, and a scared Deku. Ururaka was nowhere to be seen. Come on Mary, you can do this. It's only a guy with a temper, and it's not like you've never met anyone like that.

She went a little closer to him, gave him her best smile, and began talking. >>Hey, nice to meet you! I'm Mary, what's your name?<< She already knew his name, but she wanted to make a good impression and be polite. >>Name's Bakugo.<< He said angrily. >>Is that all? Then fuck off.<< While saying those words he had a little sparkle in his eyes, something Mary didn't really understand. What could it be? Anger? Frustration? Or does he just really like to insult people? She kept that in mind, but pushed away those thoughts as well. She had enough time in class to think about it. For now, she just decided to leave him alone, since he looked really pissed. >>Alright, it was nice to meet you!<< She smiled even wider. Bakugo looked at her a little off, but then caught himself again and grumbled a >>Yeah, great.<< And with that, she walked back to her seat, where the next person was already waiting for her.

 >>H-Hey beautiful~<< He said with hunger in his eyes. >>Hello!<< She smiled at him, not wanting to be rude. >>Do you n-need someone to show you around?<< he smirked pervertedly, his eyes getting even hungrier after seeing her smile. >>Nope! I already have Midoriya, Denki and Ururaka to help me out, but thank you anyways!<< She sat down at her desk, and he.. started to drool? And it didn't seem like he was giving up any time soon. Ugh. >>I c-could help you find th-the changing rooms, a-and then we could-<< He was cut off by Iida pulling him back. >>MINETA! STOP THAT OUTRAGOUS BEHAVIOR OF YOURS THIS INSTANT!<< Iida proceeded to drag Mineta away from Mary, who let out a sigh of relief. She didn't notice herself starting to smirk when she began to think of ways on how to best torture him. Little did she know the pink skinned girl was watching the entire scene, so she just decided to go and say hi. >>Hey, sorry about him. That was Minoru Mineta, he's kinda like the class pervert, alongside Denki. Though... Denki is just flirtacious. Mineta is full on ''spying on the girls''-kinda perverted. So you better stay away from him, or you might get... touched, let's say that. I'm Mina, by the way!<< Mina smiled brightly. Mary smiled back, wondering why Mina had just started talking to her. Was I staring at her? Did she watch me? Or does she really just want to be nice? >>Now, you gotta tell me, why was your introduction all formal and stuff?<<

Mary had to laugh. >>I guess I just imagined everyone here to be all serious, so I spent hours on trying to figure out the right words, and now I think I just looked awkward...?<< Mina joined her giggling. >>Oh, I had the same fear. I thought everyone was gonna be boring and strict about rules, but turns out Iida is the only one really strict about things here.<< She laughed, and Mary casted a glance to Tenya, who was still scolding Mineta for being unrespectful. They joked around a bit, about Mineta being a perv, about Mina being together with him, and the two girls shared a good laugh. Just like in old times... Mary sighed. Then she saw a teacher come in, ready to start class, so she and Mina had to part ways. After the class greeted the teacher, Mary looked around to see if anyone was looking at her. Damn paranoia...

To her surprise, there was actually someone looking at her. No, not someone, sometwo. One of them turned around when he noticed that Mary noticed him, a slight blush spreading on his cheeks while looking embaressed, and the other one...

was the drooling Mineta.

>>End chapter 2<<

Entry #12, 9/1/19

Ah, if I'm here, I might as well... nothing has really happened. I've been at my therapist's. He told me to look around for some activities that include talking to people, since I don't really know anyone near me that I can talk to on a daily basis. I just don't trust my family members, or classmates. Nobody around me is to be trusted, they'll turn against me. I know that as a fact. They won't listen properly, and if they do they either make fun of me, or they don't try to help. They are not to be trusted.

Anyways. He (my therapist) told me, that I needed some human contact. In person. I don't know anyone around that likes me or that I like though,so that could get hard. I've decided I just take the compliments people give me. By that I mean I'll listen to my two best friends, I don't get compliments from anyone else.

Did I already let you know that I'd be getting away from my class, my problems, and almost everyone I know for a while? Just for about 3 or 4 weeks, but I'll be somewhere far away from my worries. I'll go to an island on the east coast, alongside my mother and sister. Fortunately, there'll be a psychologist, too, so I'll have someobe to turn to. I'm already saving up so I can give myself a bit of a luxury treatment, and I trust that it'll calm my nerves and make me stronger, at least for some time. My birthday is also in that time where I am gone, so I

Firstly won't have to worry about a party (even though I wasn't planning on celebrating in the first place), and

Secondly will be able to be all on my own that day. Sitting on the beach, watching the waves, listening to the calming sound of the sea... what an amazing picture. But of course, there could be rain on that exact day, or the beach is crowded, or, or, or. But I still hope it won't be that bad a day.

So, that's all I have to say. Goodbye, my friends, readers, and fellow humans. I'll see you around.

Entry #33, 14/4/20

I’m so sorry I stopped updating! I kinda forgot I had a blog--- but I’ll try to remember and update more often from now on!

Anyway... a quick summary of what happened (of course with the help of my diary because I forget everything way too fast):

1.: Me and my ‘‘best’‘ friend Cel stopped talking. She barely has any time anymore, so I gave up on trying to contact her. I told her how i felt about the whole situation, and kinda--- emotionally detached from her again?? I came to terms with the fact that we won’t talk anymore, but instead of breaking off contact I decided to keep her as a ‘‘friend’‘ for roleplaying, cuz she’s the only one I have a bnha-roleplay with.

2.: The guy from the German equivalent of child services was here twice, and we’ll probably get the family-helper peeps after this whole ‘‘situation’‘ with the pandemic is over.

3.: Pesto (my ex-bestie) texted me a while back. I said i would give him a second chance, but honestly... I was really disappointed when I found out he hadn’t killed himself. I tried to make him do it passive-aggressively, but he got a gf and his mental health was very good in general, so I’ll just wait until he has another depressive-episode (he’s bipolar)...

4.: A guy from my school, that I literally talked to once before and that we’ll call Dennis, asked a good friend of mine (Freddie) if he could get my number. Freddie told me and asked if I was okay with him giving Dennis my number, I said yes... big mistake. Dennis started texting me every twenty minutes, it got really annoying, but I was too scared to hurt his feeling, so I didn’t tell him off. He started talking to me in school too, gave me a drawing (a bad one at that) and just made me really uncomfortable in general. After getting a bit of advice from a couple other girls I told him I was uncomfortable with texting him, he said he understood, but was clearly hurt by what I said (I tried to be as nice as possible!). Anyway, I’m glad I don’t have to deal with him right now... >~<°

5.: I got an interview for a politics-project I need for school. It went well, I got all the info I needed, yeet.

And since I’m a meanie, I saved the best for last:

I got a girlfriend!~~ (31.3.20 UwU) She’s in all of the discord servers I’m in, and even before we got together we talked super often and complimented each other constantly... She’s super cute! Whenever I talk to her I feel so much lighter, happier and just overall better...~ and if you’d have asked past me if I could ever imagine getting a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend as my first ever relationship, I’d have shouted ‘‘No way!’‘- and now look where that got me. It’s not even like I was homophobic, I just thought it was weird for me to like a girl because that’s just how I was raised. (My gramps was a really religious christian, and of course the whole ‘‘very religious grandpa’‘ stereotype wouldn’t be complete without a heaping pile of homophobia...) Now I’m happily in love, I even imagined how awesome it would be to move in together, adopt a kid and get married... which I never could before (with anyone, not just girls) without feeling a little weird about it. But now I can imagine all I want and even feel like it’s the right thing to do!~ God, I could go on and on about how much I love her... <3

There’s something else I want to address as well tho, so no can do. I got into a fight with my mother just a couple days ago, and I’m giving her the Todoroki-Treatment again (I talk to her as little as possible, and when I do, I have a monotone voice and neutral expression). She accused me of so many things I didn’t do, and even said to my face that I was born as [deadname] and will always stay [deadname]. I’m using the word deadname not because I’m trans (cuz that’s where it’s actually supposed to be used), but because I hate the name I was born with and don’t want to be addressed with the name that I link so many bad memories with. The very next day, she took away my phone and laptop because I was ‘’disrespectful’‘. The day after that, (12.4.20, Easter+ my little sister’s b-day) she wanted to talk about what happened again and admitted she was wrong. She apologized, even wrote ‘‘Mary’‘ on an egg custom-filled with chocolate to ‘‘buy’‘ my happiness in a way. Didn’t work. She was just being really pathetic... like always after a fight when she ‘’regrets saying those things and that she actually didn’t mean them’‘. I’m just in complete control whenever that happens, and it’s really awesome bc I can make her feel really bad by just not talking to her lmao-

Anyway, that was all that happened. I’ll let you know when something interesting is going on. Bai! ^^

Entry #16, 9/11/19

Currently in the bus, on my way to school. I thought I'd quickly tell you how my therapist reacted, since I promised you said info: he apologized, multiple times, and- well, we had other things to talk about, so I changed the subject after a while. He recommended a book (about psychology), and I'm hopefully gonna be able to get it soon. I mean, if someone, whose profession is psychology, recommends a book, it has to be good, right? It's about childhood and trauma, and how to detect one, too, I think. I'll take a look at it later. See you!