Entry #21, 22/10/19

As I said earlier, I prefer no or foreign vocals, but of course there is always an exception. So here, have more good songs. Good in my opinion, that is. Pun intended.

Entry #14, 9/10/19

I survived (obviously). The food was definitely not worth the price, but hey, at least it was edible. I should actually get ready for school right now (it turned 5:54 this second), but who cares. I just wanted to say that I'm alive, and stuff has been going easy on me. I'll go to my therapist later today, so that'll be something to look forward to.

Someone else apparently had my block recommend to them (or a post) again, and decided to like it. Why is this even shown to anyone? And in which universe would this be interesting?

Anyways, I'll go now. So bye!

Entry #34, 1/29/25, very short

Wow. So glad I remembered the password. Time for a new entry, I guess?

Sooooo much happened. So very much. And honestly, I'm kind of sad that I didn't continue this blog while I lived with my sister, because ohhh boy would that have been fun to read now. It was a shit show. But luckily I still have my diaries from that time... it almost feels like I survived a war or something. I think I'll just start writing down random things I remember and want to have written down somewhere before I forget them, so from now on, imagine a fat tw in front of every post concerning that topic. I'll specify if certain subjects are more prominent in a post, but you can almost certainly expect verbal abuse, helpless rage and probably swearing.

To give you a quick idea of where I am now:

- I live alone (or, well, independently. I share my flat with two dudes. I'll call one Tom and the other Marc.)

- Since my last entry, I was in 2 relationships. Both of them were toxic. Now I'm with my boyfriend, who I'll be calling Derrick, since November last year

- I went no contact with my oldest sister (the one whose place I was at in the entry about Christmas and how disappointed I was)

- I also went no contact with my mother (formerly known as ___ or Voldemort)

- I'm in therapy, got diagnosed with ADHD, got meds for it

-My grades plummeted . But now I'm doing better, thanks to the meds.

- I'm now 19 years old and go by Jamie since 2022 around friends and like early 2023 around teachers, nowadays everyone refers to me and knows me as Jamie. Pronouns-wise, all are fine, but I prefer he/they. I'm enby and pan, should you care

- All racists, homophobes, transphobes and similar people that just have to get up in everybody's business, feel free to contact me if you want to have a respectful convo about it to exchange views :)

Seeya!

Entry #1

So... well I'm just going to start this blog as a kind of second diary, and since no one will ever even find this, I'm currently asking myself ''well why the hell not?''. So here I go...

Some background information first:

-Female

-Sexuality: questioning, but probably either bi or pan

-German

-No, I do not drink beer for every meal. In fact, I'm against drinking and smoking, but I don't give a floop if you do either or both

-I really don't care what other people do or like or think or whatever

-Except for anti-vaxxers and homophobes. Why, humans, why???

-I like Hamilton and Creepypasta, both a whole lot.

So, now that that's done... I guess I can start with the blog?

Alright. It's summer vacation, I'm basically in my room all day, talking to a friend or two...But today, I had to leave my comfy bed :( I went to the store, and I wasn't really expecting any heat at all, since it was quite cold in the part of Germland I live in, but of course the sun had to kill everything in a 100 kilometer radius. So it was flaming hot outside, and everyone I passed by looked either pissed or exhausted asf. When I came back from the store though, it just got way hotter, so I decided to lay in my bed and check whatever social media like the lazy ''person'' I am.

I'm also really hyped about finishing my diary. I have another one ''waiting'', so I can't wait to start that one. I did write a lot in it today, because I was so bored.

I also started drawing my OC Sophie, cuz why not? Not like I had anything better to do, anyways.

So yeah, that was my day. I'll maybe write again tomorrow, or just when something happens.

A song I currently enjoy a lot.

Entry #31, 25/1/20

Heya, dear void! How’s it going? ^^ I thought I’d just quickly let you know about some stuff that happened recently, since it’s kinda important to understand the possible action that will be taken throughout the next few months.

Last Friday (17/1/20), I had a ‘meeting’ with my current school’s principal. He asked me why I wanted to change schools, why I thought I didn’t belong in the class and how my mental health was involved in the whole thing. At the start, he didn’t seem very fond of the idea, but was open to what I had to say. I thought h would say ‘no’, or try to keep me from doing it, but at the end of the whole thing he told me that he’d support me and even let me come back if the new school was worse.

After the meet-up, I told my mother that we had his approval, and she spoke to the school I want to change to. The teachers had a meeting where they discussed the situation, and if they had room for a new student. Everything depends on that, and if they decide that I would be too much, everything I did would have been a complete waste of time. But before I can officially change schools, I need to check out what the routine is like, anyways, so I can get a better picture of what it’ll be like, because right now I have no information about the schedule and stuff like that. Heck, I don’t even know when school starts! (My current starts at 7:40, ends at 12:45, and I’m usually home at about 13:20.) Ah, whatever. As for now I can’t do anything but wait anyways. Wish me luck...

~Mary

Entry #20, 2/10/19

Greetings. Today is the last day of school, now I have two and a half weeks for myself~ I can finally really start to draw way more, continue on chapter 3 and practice playing the keyboard! It'll be so cool... I already finished a drawing now. I've sat on it for about an hour, that's the most time I've spent on a single drawing so far. And yes, I was using a nude reference. Purely to practice anatomy, of course. (Imagine a smirk here)

I have downloaded Pinterest and Deviantart. I won't upload anything myself there, I'm only there for the fanart.

And that's about it. My life's pretty boring, I know, but something's bound to happen someday, right? Goodbye!

Entry #11, 8/17/19

School started again, and I volunteered as a helper for the 5th graders. And one of the girls was looking just like me when I was younger. She had the hair, the features, even the height. I didn't talk to her, because today was only the ceremony where the 5th graders are let into the school and introduced to their classmates, but from the look in her eyes I can tell that she's pretty damn innocent. Thinking that she can make friends left and right.... I hope she doesn't end up like me and gets bullied. I want her to be taken into the class softly, not thrown into the cold water like me. When I see the kids on Monday, I'll make sure they all know they can trust me with anything. I hate giving myself compliments, but I think I'm a pretty good listener. I don't give the best advice, but I still can help people out (somehow).

Moving on, I've been drawing a lot of flowers lately. I'll show you later, in a separate post. I'm not good, but I've improved quite a bit over the past couple of months.

Nothing else really happened, and since I could only spill tea about my neighbors, I'll just say

Peace out, my dude/ettes/(nonbinary word for dude)s!

Entry #7

I started working out yesterday, and I kind of scheduled my days now. Until 5 pm: cleaning and free time, from 5-6 pm: working out, 6-7 (or 7:30) pm: cooking. I like my life more when it follows a schedule, since everything is planned through and nothing new comes my way. I need a structure in life, else I'll feel uncomfortable.

Pesto was just joking. He's not with her yet, but they get along better with every day. I'm really proud of him.

I started watching Boku no hero academia and Death note. They're good animes, I recommend checking them out someday.

I've got nothing left to say. Goodbye!

Yes, yes it is.