Entry #20, 2/10/19

Another one of the songs that I listen to relatively frequently. I find the melody very calming, which is one of the main reasons I am so in love with this masterpiece. The band it’s from, MISSIO, is very good in general... at least I think so. Of course, anyone is allowed to have their own opinion on this blog. Honestly, I just don’t care. I think more people should just mind their own business. For instance, why would you give a single floop if someone is part of the LGBTQ+? Just mind your own business. Why would you judge other people because of their hobbies, interests etc? Just mind your own business. I simply don’t understand why you would make your and someone else’s day worse by complaining about their taste in music, just because they listen to Twenty One Pilots instead of Panic!At The Disco, or like K-Pop more than Rap. I personally don’t like any of the listed genres or bands, but my best friend loves P!atd, and I respect that. Or, more acurately, I don’t give a damn. Wow, this turned from music to a rant about my class. They gossip about everyone and everything. They called me ‘‘EmO’‘ and ‘‘GoTh’‘ because I wore all black one day. To be fair, I also had on my dark blue lipstick. They even talk about each other behind their backs. If they are talking about me, they don’t even bother to hide it. for instance, I’m a slut, because I have more male than female friends. I just get along with guys better. They are funnier to be around, and the girls from my class are literally the ‘‘other girls’‘ that are being described by the r/notlikeothergirls-girls. They only talk about make-up, horses (One has a horse) and when they went shopping where. A girl from my spanish class though (I don’t know if I already talked about her), she’s really cool. We share our love for anime, Hamilton/Musicals in general, drawing, memes, music and a couple more things. I get along with her great, and there are a few more girls from her class that are really laid back and funny. They’re fun to be around, so it’s sad to say I only see them about twice a week... ah, this is already way too long. sorry and thank you for reading. I’ll see you around if you choose to stick with me. Goodbye :)

Entry #16, 9/11/19

Currently in the bus, on my way to school. I thought I'd quickly tell you how my therapist reacted, since I promised you said info: he apologized, multiple times, and- well, we had other things to talk about, so I changed the subject after a while. He recommended a book (about psychology), and I'm hopefully gonna be able to get it soon. I mean, if someone, whose profession is psychology, recommends a book, it has to be good, right? It's about childhood and trauma, and how to detect one, too, I think. I'll take a look at it later. See you!

Entry #28, 19/12/19

Hello!~

So, how has your week been? I hope it was better than mine! I had to (re-)take three exams! One in English, one in biology and another in math today! I am allowed to retake the math one, because I wasn’t there when they started the new subject, and I am really glad my teacher understands that I need more time to study. (Especially cuz I’m stupid---) Anyways, enough from school. Let’s get to the school changing part instead~ So, I basically had to choose a new school to change to, because the other’s a private school, and that would miss the whole point of changing schools. Instead of a private school, I picked a public school near the other I chose before.

OH. MY. CHINCHILLA. Peeps, I just remembered that MCR will start their reunion tour tomorrow! I am absolutely THRILLED to hear the new album they’re definitely gonna drop soon, right? Of course they would. They’d give us all the best gift for Christmas that one could ask for. Right?

Ah floop, I just realized I still have stuff to do. I’ll see you soon!

The edgy emeow~

Entry #12, 9/1/19

Ah, if I'm here, I might as well... nothing has really happened. I've been at my therapist's. He told me to look around for some activities that include talking to people, since I don't really know anyone near me that I can talk to on a daily basis. I just don't trust my family members, or classmates. Nobody around me is to be trusted, they'll turn against me. I know that as a fact. They won't listen properly, and if they do they either make fun of me, or they don't try to help. They are not to be trusted.

Anyways. He (my therapist) told me, that I needed some human contact. In person. I don't know anyone around that likes me or that I like though,so that could get hard. I've decided I just take the compliments people give me. By that I mean I'll listen to my two best friends, I don't get compliments from anyone else.

Did I already let you know that I'd be getting away from my class, my problems, and almost everyone I know for a while? Just for about 3 or 4 weeks, but I'll be somewhere far away from my worries. I'll go to an island on the east coast, alongside my mother and sister. Fortunately, there'll be a psychologist, too, so I'll have someobe to turn to. I'm already saving up so I can give myself a bit of a luxury treatment, and I trust that it'll calm my nerves and make me stronger, at least for some time. My birthday is also in that time where I am gone, so I

Firstly won't have to worry about a party (even though I wasn't planning on celebrating in the first place), and

Secondly will be able to be all on my own that day. Sitting on the beach, watching the waves, listening to the calming sound of the sea... what an amazing picture. But of course, there could be rain on that exact day, or the beach is crowded, or, or, or. But I still hope it won't be that bad a day.

So, that's all I have to say. Goodbye, my friends, readers, and fellow humans. I'll see you around.

Entry #10, 8/8/19

So as you might know: I'm a German. And you might also know that Germany started and was involved in quite some wars. Now, let me state my case:

There was a plane/drone/helicopter flying very, very low. It kept on flying over ''my'' part of the city, and only that part. I am so fkn paranoid when it comes to war and apocalypses and all that, so I am currently trying to figure out what it was. I know, I'm making wayy too much drama, but I'm just very very very careful when it comes to these kind of things. Plus, another worrying fact: it's 2 in the morning. Everything is pitch black. That was the only sound to be heard in the silence of the night, and I goddamn hate it.

Entry #2

Right now it's 00:16, and way too hot to be comfortable again. A couple of days ago (as I might already have mentioned) it was so cold I could cuddle up, now I can't even have my blanket on my legs without sweating. Wonderful weather in the Land of Bier, or at least in my region.

One of my two best friends is making progress with his crush, so things are looking good for him. I really hope they get together.. he put so much effort into getting her to like him, suttle moves and nothing that could make anyone uncomfortable... they've started talking more, which is absolutely perfect! I myself don't really like his crush, but then again... I've never really talked to her. But after what he told me, I can just hope she treats him right. But for now I'd just say ''as long as he's happy, I'm happy''.

I'll let you (whoever may read this since there is apparently someone who found entry number 1 and liked it... thanks kind stranger ^^) know when something's up, as always. Ciao!

A song I currently enjoy a lot.

Entry #3

The weather didn't change. It's 17:00 at the time I'm writing this, and there's not really anything else to do.

My other best friend has fever, but it's gotten better over the past few days. She had a few fever hallucinations, but that might also be because of her schizophrenia, and that it's ''mixing'' with the fever. It's very hot where she lives as well right now, so she has a chance of getting worse. But she seems to be doing quite well up until now, so let's just hope it'll stay like that.

I think I might actually finish my diary in the next week, maybe even this week, who knows. Then I can finally start the new one! I might post a picture of the new diary later, when I start using it. But until then, it's gonna stay a secret.

I'll keep you up to date, bye ^^

Entry #22, 11/5/19

Hello, everyone. I’ve found the time and ways to finally update. I got a laptop, and I’m still figuring out how to actually work with it, but I’m managing. At least I can continue writing my story without having to wait 5 hours for my computer to boot up and the program to start. I should probably add, that this is my first laptop since I could never really afford one, but my mother got this one (which was her old one before) fixed, and she has a new one. Hooray for me. Anyways. I wanted to let all of you (aka nobody in particular, just future me) know, that my tumblr app, which I used before to post and all, has an error that makes me unable to use it. That’s why I wasn’t able to post. But since I’ve got a solution for that problem now, I should be able to post more or less regularly.

Apart from that, not much has been going on. I am aware that I’m not doing enough for school and I didn’t do my homework, I should probably study right now rather than updating here, but am I going to do so? No, of course not. Why? Well, mainy because I don’t want to. I should bring some dicipline into my life, I know, but who needs dicipline when they can have fun? Or at least not be annoyed or unhappy. My personal opinion is, that you should do what makes you happy, but you should also work for your happiness. Nothing is free in this world.

Ah, another day, another rant. but I should (rather want to) lay down in my bed now, and probably either read or draw. I wish everyone a good night, evening or morning, goodbye.

Entry #4

It's still very warm, but not too hot. The weather app I use says it'll be around 19° at 3 am, so I guess I'll be able to sleep. At least it's colder than the nights before, and it's supposed to get colder over the next couple of days.

My best friend (the girl, let's call her... Sophie) has a doctor's appointment today, so she couldn't answer me until now.

I had the day for myself. I was writing in my diary a lot, just going through the people that are dropping out of my class or out of my school completely, the ones that are new, etc. There's no big difference, but we will have a new student. How about we refer to him as Justin for now? As I said, he'll be a new ''member'' of my class, and I really hope he's a nice dude. All of the other guys are just such imbiciles at times. Most of them hate me, some just can't stand me, and there may be a few that kinda like me, but wouldn't talk to me alone. So my hopes are high that he's actually someone reasonable. We'll also get new teachers. Nice ones, hopefully. Maybe I'll get back my old french teacher; he was way better at teaching than the one we have now is. Or had before vacation started. I also dislike my German and Math teachers a lot. They are both pretty annoying, and don't give a floop if you need help or not. ''YoU cOuLd HaVe LiStEnEd WhEn I wAs ExPlAiNiNg It'' too bad they both can't explain for shi-

Anyways. I think I should give some important people in my life names... so here goes.

Best friend (male): Pesto (that's his actual nickname.)

Best friend (female): Sophie

New student (male): Justin

Teachers: Imma start with that when I know for sure which teachers I have

My mother: Mom or Mum (too lazy to think of a name)

My oldest sister: Jessica

My older sister: Silvia

My younger sister: Lou

That's everything that matters for now. Maybe I'll add some people later.

Have a good one! ^^