Will Wood Archive Channels Are Wild Cause One Video Will Be Like A 9 Second Recording Of A Concert From

they need to come up with more words like necrosis and miasma and mausoleum and cadaver and morose and decrepit and stuff like that just so metal bands can expand their vocabulary

platonic dialogues are just like.

socrates: massive chunk of text

the other guy: everything you say is beautiful and true.

“The average person thinks about the Roman Empire every day” factoid is a statistical error. Tumblr users in March -

i am emotionally ravaged right now from a “learn to dance” series holy shit

*booking an mri* what if I accidentally have a pacemaker. what if I got secret bone surgery and forgot about the pins

man i love physics

Odysseus' Strategy Notebook

PLAN TO DEFEAT THE TROJANS

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

PLAN TO DEFEAT THE CYCLOPS

Build giant wooden horse spear and hide inside it stab the cyclops with it

PLAN TO ESCAPE THE CYCLOPS' CAVE

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

Build giant wooden SHEEP and hide inside it

Build a bunch of normal-sized sheep and hide in those

Skin real sheep and use them to make incredibly realistic sheep costumes

Ride the sheep out of the cave but upside-down so he doesn't find us

PLAN TO DEFEAT THE LASTER LAESYTR LESTRYG CANNIBAL GIANTS

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

Build giant wooden cannibal giant and hide inside it

Build giant wooden RUN

PLAN TO DEFEAT THE WITCH

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

Build giant wooden pig and hide inside it?

Build giant wooden d go with Hermes' plan

PLAN TO DEFEAT SCYLLA

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

Build wooden decoy sailors and hope she eats those DID NOT WORK

PLAN TO STOP MEN FROM EATING SACRED CATTLE

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

Build giant wooden cow and trick the men into eating it

Take a nap and come up with a better plan

PLAN TO ESCAPE CALYPSO'S ISLAND

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

Build wooden decoy statue of me and put it in her bed

Build giant wooden d

PLAN TO KEEP ODYSSEUS HERE FOREVER

Steal strategy notebook

Check for splinters just in case

PLAN TO SNEAK BACK INTO THE PALACE

Build giant wooden h

Disguise self as giant wooden beggar normal old beggar OKAY I GET IT NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE A GIGANTIC WOODEN REPLICA I GET IT ALREADY sheesh Athena

GET THE SUITORS OFF MY BACK, PLAN B (THANKS A LOT MELANTHO)

Announce that I will marry whoever can string my husband's bow and shoot through wait this isn't my notebook

PLAN TO KILL THE SUITORS wait who scribbled in my notebook

Will Wood has written songs about all of the quintessential human experiences including:

-vampirism

-desperately wishing to be the opposite gender

-being beyond professional help

-possession 

-being something distinctly inhuman

-taking comfort in the inevitability of death

Vetinari in Feet Of Clay is so fucking funny because he's like "I am a calculated, coldblooded tyrant" and then voluntarily microdoses himself with arsenic to spend more time with his crush

There are only two genders:

Caecelius est in horto.

et

Grumio est in culina.

Ok, fine... I relent!

Metella est in atrio.

et

Canem est in via.