PLAN TO DEFEAT THE TROJANS
Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it
PLAN TO DEFEAT THE CYCLOPS
Build giant wooden horse spear and hide inside it stab the cyclops with it
PLAN TO ESCAPE THE CYCLOPS' CAVE
Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it
Build giant wooden SHEEP and hide inside it
Build a bunch of normal-sized sheep and hide in those
Skin real sheep and use them to make incredibly realistic sheep costumes
Ride the sheep out of the cave but upside-down so he doesn't find us
PLAN TO DEFEAT THE LASTER LAESYTR LESTRYG CANNIBAL GIANTS
Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it
Build giant wooden cannibal giant and hide inside it
Build giant wooden RUN
PLAN TO DEFEAT THE WITCH
Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it
Build giant wooden pig and hide inside it?
Build giant wooden d go with Hermes' plan
PLAN TO DEFEAT SCYLLA
Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it
Build wooden decoy sailors and hope she eats those DID NOT WORK
PLAN TO STOP MEN FROM EATING SACRED CATTLE
Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it
Build giant wooden cow and trick the men into eating it
Take a nap and come up with a better plan
PLAN TO ESCAPE CALYPSO'S ISLAND
Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it
Build wooden decoy statue of me and put it in her bed
Build giant wooden d
PLAN TO KEEP ODYSSEUS HERE FOREVER
Steal strategy notebook
Check for splinters just in case
PLAN TO SNEAK BACK INTO THE PALACE
Build giant wooden h
Disguise self as giant wooden beggar normal old beggar OKAY I GET IT NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE A GIGANTIC WOODEN REPLICA I GET IT ALREADY sheesh Athena
GET THE SUITORS OFF MY BACK, PLAN B (THANKS A LOT MELANTHO)
Announce that I will marry whoever can string my husband's bow and shoot through wait this isn't my notebook
PLAN TO KILL THE SUITORS wait who scribbled in my notebook
I fear nobody will ever be able to match the dead stare standard criston has managed to set this season. gwayne accused him of fucking his sister and he said alicent is the Virgin Mary i keep trying to kill myself and she won’t let me. btw i hope we both die. and then he looked at him like this
If the Aeneid has a million fans, I'm one of them
If the Aeneid has one fan, I'm that one
If the Aeneid has no fans, my soul, indignant, has fled down to the underworld with a sigh
People who insist on changing the pronouns in songs while they’re singing along are so weak. “But I’m not gay!” Okay?? And I’m not a broken man on a Halifax pier, the last of Barrett’s Privateers, but for the length of this song I can be.
they need to come up with more words like necrosis and miasma and mausoleum and cadaver and morose and decrepit and stuff like that just so metal bands can expand their vocabulary
hey I'm sorry I stopped in the middle of that sentence my brain decided to flush its cache and I totally forgot what this conversation was
"most people don't really care about occult history" Skill issue. I will make learning fun. This is a threat.
i say "godspeed, soldier" way too much for someone who puts their faith in neither god nor the military
william the conqueror: i shall take england for normandy and become its king
william the concurrer: i agree
what's your name? (rhetorical) (because i will forget immediately)