Vetinari In Feet Of Clay Is So Fucking Funny Because He's Like "I Am A Calculated, Coldblooded Tyrant"

Julius Caesar: When I said I wanted to be repeatedly penetrated by at least two dozen men wearing nothing but togas this WASN'T what I meant

executive dysfunction is literally like. ive had a random dollar on my floor for two weeks and i dont know when ill fit it in my schedule to pick it up. people dont realize this

I wish I could be a girl, and that way you’d wish I could be your

companies really have got to be okay with stagnant profits. what is wrong with earning the same amount every year? why does it always have to be more? it's not sustainable. there are only so many people on the planet you can profit from 😭

Sure, call me a hopeless romantic, but I believe a healthy sexual relationship requires transparency. This is why I only fuck ghosts.

The Aeneid is so annoying to read because it's going along going along it's a masterpiece it's a work of art "AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR AUGUSTUS"

the third dumbest thing I've made now Alternative title: All I Want for Christmas is You, Could You Take a Look at Me?

thinking about the moment brutus' silky sharp knife penetrated ceasar's tender skin for the first time... the tears in the corners of his eyes glistening in the ravenous sunlight, his plump peachy lips in awe as brutus places a soft, chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth before driving the knife into his body again

Single funniest piece of Shakespeare merch I have ever seen.

it’s monday i’m in the labyrinth