I'm Gonna Be Honest Kitten Daddy's Consular Bid Isn't Going Well And If He Doesn't Draw A Good Province

Stan Rogers songs come in a few, occasionally overlapping flavors:

this boat is a heavy-handed metaphor for my personal struggles (Mary Ellen Carter, Last Watch, Barrett’s Privateers, etc)

I am being ground beneath the heel of Capital (Fisherman’s Wharf, Tiny Fish for Japan, The Idiot, most of them really)

Weeeheehee we’re shitfaced and having a great time! I recommend it!! (The Wreck of the Athens Queen, Giant, etc)

my romance is pure and true and yours is mere lust, you barbarian (You Can’t Stay Here, Lock-Keeper, Half of a Heart, etc)

an ode to something incredibly Canadian (Bluenose, MacDonnell on the Heights, Northwest Passage, etc)

Will Wood archive channels are wild cause one video will be like a 9 second recording of a concert from 2016 showing this man wearing like seven layers of eyeliner and mascara, no shirt, and has bleached his hair an unnatural blonde banging on his keyboard while screaming about drugs, skeletons, and suicide and then the next video will be this guy who looks like he majors in philosophy and computer science with an oversized ukulele telling people that he is doing well in therapy

hey I'm sorry I stopped in the middle of that sentence my brain decided to flush its cache and I totally forgot what this conversation was

Sure, call me a hopeless romantic, but I believe a healthy sexual relationship requires transparency. This is why I only fuck ghosts.

reasons to kill caesar (in order of importance):

he slept with my mother

hes a dictator

Cassius doesn't like him.

some of you need to romanticise the fucking paragraph break

DNI if you:

Got it from Agnes

Got it from Jim

Got it from Louise (we all agree)

Got it from Harry

Got it from Marie

Got it from me (everybody knows!)

Got it from Daphne

Got it from Joan (who picked it up in County Cork, a-kissing the Blarney Stone)

Gave it to Sheila

Got it from Francois and Jacques (a-ha! Lucky Pierre)

Got it from Edith (who gets it every spring)

Got it from your Daddy (who just gives you everything)

Gave it to Daniel (whose spaniel has it now)

Your dentist even got it (and we're still wondering how?)

Got it from Agnes

Or maybe it was sue?

Or Millie

Or Billie

Or Gillie

Or Willy (IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO!)

Got it at the club

Or at the pub

Or in the loo

And fair warning, before you follow, if you will be my friend, then I might (mind you, I said "might"!) give it to you!