Cleo: Hey Where's Pope?

JJ: In Legally Blonde, Elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cute.

John B: JJ, this is real life, not an excellent movie

JJ: *sitting on John B’s bed. Hasn't eaten all day*

JJ: *looks up suddenly* Why do I hear boss music?

Pope: *kicks down the door* JJ LAWRENCE MAYBANK

JJ: OH FUCK-

JJ: remember when I said I had to go to the pharmacy?

Pope: yeah?

JJ: they’re out of my ADHD meds for five days

Pope: oh my god

JJ: it’s going to be a fun week!

Pope: I’m going to my parents-

JJ: through sickness and in health mother fucker-

*reunion after the motorcycle incident *

JJ: Pope?

JJ: Pope!

JJ: *running in slow motion*

Pope: JJ?

Pope: JJ!

Pope: *runs to him in slow motion*

JJ: Pope!

Pope: JJ!

JJ: Pope! That was the narliest power slide I’ve ever done-

Pope: *grows angry* JJ!

JJ: *grows concerned* Pope..?

Pope: *goes into full sprint, angry* JJ!!!

JJ: *turns to run away* OH FUCK

JJ, pointing: can I sit there?

Pope: that’s my lap

JJ: that still doesn’t answer my question

Pope, walking across their lawn: I’ve seen hogs, I’ve seen goats, I’ve even seen a three-legged-

*Pope, falls into the mini inflatable pool in the middle of the lawn.*

JJ, holding their baby, trying not to laugh but failing: Oh! Oh my god-

Pope, looking up and glaring.

JJ, covering his face: I’m sorry-

Pope: really, JJ? I could have just died.

*Pope, stands and falls out of the pool.*

JJ, wheezing.

Pope, exasperated: but how do I know if he’s gay?

John B: here. JJ!

JJ, looking up from his phone on the couch: what

John B: would you rather give up cheese or blow jobs for the rest of your life?

Pope: that’s not-

JJ, shrugging: blow jobs maybe… they hurt my jaw

Pope *eyes blowing wide*

John B: you’re welcome.

*JJ and Pope working on their new house together*

JJ: just pound the nail into the wall

Pope, muttering: I’ll pound you against a wall

*after the motorcycle incident*

Pope: Is the pain bad?

JJ: It's not that bad.

Pope: Don't lie to yourself.

JJ: I'm not lying to myself, i'm lying to you.

Why JJPope would never last as a secret

John B: Hey, have you seen JJ?

Pope: I'M NOT SEEING JJ!

John B: What?

Pope: What?

JJ, in the distance: So much for playing it cool, Pope.