How To Know If

edward: hey rose what’s up

rose: hey dude bella is dead lmaoo

edward:

rose: so will you come home now esme misses y-

edward:

Me because i really enjoy the presents of animals and they really like me, like a duck was just chilling with me this morning

That fuckin smile at the end

If this doesn’t go viral, I’ll kms

-👑

“If it’s about a dad dating other dads, how come some of them have kids???”

Things I’ve learned while working in a museum collection

-The best way to learn is on the job

-Snakes kept in ethanol for 50 years have a very specific smell

-it’s like greasy vodka

-I’ve found where all the queers go in science and it’s museums, I’ve found my people

-A right of passage includes getting a tattoo of your preferred genus 

-The 60 year old entomologist who is apparently a celebrity in the beetle circles has a huge back-spanning tattoo of a scarab, and my co-worker only discovered this when she saw said entomologist at a rock concert

-You have to keep those stained skeleton specimens in jars of glycerin because it’s only in glycerin that light goes through the specimens tissue to reveal the blue/red/green skeleton otherwise they’re an opaque white

-Glycerin leeches through glass

-You will be skinning an animal for a few hours and be staring at the bare flesh and viscera and be suddenly intensely hungry. That’s normal.

-You’ll find a “problem specimen” in a jar with no number tag and you’ll ask the collection manager what to do about it, she’ll turn around pick a book from a huge shelf of identical books and ask for the place and date on the jar and then she’ll flip to a page, check that, and then check the online database before saying “it’s this one, make a new tag”. And you’ll spend the rest of the day mystified at the incredible record-keeping that’s been happening for 130 years.

-Vegans haven’t discovered museum collections yet and everyone hopes it stays that way lest we have to constantly defend another vital aspect of scientific progress

- “Our collection isn’t haunted because animals don’t hold that kind of grudge, everything in the herpetology section murdered for their dinner everyday, but the anthropology collection on the other hand…”

-Everyone in the vertebrate collection has a furious and never-ending hatred of fly fishing (never forgive, never forget)

AU where Tony knew Aunt May and Uncle Ben in college so that in Iron Man 2 when Peter goes to the Stark Expo it becomes a “Charles and Ellen Mulaney meet Bill Clinton” scenario in the Parker household.

Peter: My aunt gets the invitation to the Stark Expo in the mail, and she goes, “We gotta go! We gotta go see Tony!” and without looking at her and just turning the page in a newspaper my uncle goes, “Why? It’s not like he’s going to remember you.“ 

With great power comes great responsibility. Same motherfucker.

So my aunt says, "Fine, I’ll take Peter.”

And I go, “Heck yeah!” and I slide out into the living room in my Iron Man mask and we walk out the door.

black vampires

petition for her “venom destroys melanin” to be revoked

I will never get over the noises that Bulbasaur makes in detective pikachu

what an absolute babey….

My mum told me that my 8 year old brother now has a 6 pack while I’m here eating a full pack of cookies in one sitting

pennywise at the door like: