Buddy We ALL Know Varian Can Cook Better Than You

I have no thoughts other than library depression now. I don't even know how a library can be depressed, but it is.

Fun fact (I'm kinda contradicting everything I've said abt this previously but oh well): I know someone who was lactose intolerant, but later just got used to it. They still feel sick sometimes, but not throwing up level of bad.

So we know Hugo's obsessed with trying to "cure his lactose intolerance" now, but has he always been this stupid abt it? Or was there once a beautiful time where he actually knew to avoid it.

And if so, how/when did he start this foolish experimenting?

He only started this after finishing the trials and stopped working for me.

Since he grew up poor, every meal was important so he ate whatever he could find, but I tended to a voice giving him anything that would upset his stomach when he was younger.

When he started getting his own food though, there was nothing I could do other than advise him not to eat certain things.

He’s been a lot more reckless with dairy in the past few months of living in the Coronan castle.

reblog to give your mutuals a djungelskog

How tf does this even happen

I have just freshly posted a fanfic and somehow it has 0 hits but 1 kudos?? How???

they are, in fact, autistic

Every time someone brings up the topic of Varian can't wearing skirts but Hugo can it's so fucking tiring to me

Both characters can be complex in gender

Both characters can wear whatever at any giving time

The clothes don't have gender or sex, they are a form of expression.

You can wear a fucking skirt and not giving a fuck

You can wear pink as a guy and not giving a fuck

If it applies for one character it can apply for the other too

Fiction is fiction but fiction is still expression.

A character is a vessel for you to explore the character and yourself on the way

I'm tired of repressed views in fictional media

Hugo in just a towel 😍🙏🙏🙏

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Okay, yeah, I'm using most of these for my Vat7k series. Thank you!!

Okay so I know he's out Vat7k exclusive but he is in team radical so what are your Varian headcanons??

YAYYY VARIAN MY BELOVED

Used to love when it snowed because it meant he got to go sledding with his dad, but then he developed an intense fear/hatred of snow because of the events during queen for a day

First reaction was to not trust Nuru because of how much she reminds him of Rapunzel. Even though the two of them had mostly mended things at that point, there was still a part of him deep down that blamed Raps and expected Nuru to betray the rest of the team for her kingdom

Had to put up a sign declaring his lab an “anti-Eugene” zone due to how often Eugene just barges in without warning. When it didn’t work, Varian changed it to say “Anti-Horace” just to piss him off

Keira and Catalina were his first friends that were actually around his age

Calls Hugo “pretty boy” as an insult (backfires cuz Hugo thinks they’re flirting)

Thrives in warm/hot weather but the moment the temperature drops, Varian refuses to go outside and wears thick clothing until it’s spring/summer again

He’s a snob about produce due to his dad being a farmer, and it’s a nightmare to go food shopping with him. What’s supposed to take an hour at most turns into an entire afternoon wasted at the market because the tomatoes are too soft or the apples aren’t the right color or the celery doesn’t snap right. Hugo, who grew up eating whatever he could get his hands on, has to physically restrain himself from strangling Varian

He had freckles everywhere

Exchanges letters with Rapunzel throughout his journey as a way of mending their relationship further (they both still feel super guilty about everything that happened and blame themselves) so no matter how far Varian travels, he’ll always have someone from home to guide him

Doodles Team Radical in the margins of his journal when he’s bored (caught himself making a very detailed sketch of Hugo’s face and was shamed of himself for days)

Inconsistent sleep schedule due to nightmares, which often leads to him sitting outside by thr campfire late at night. Because of this, he and Hugo are alone together a lot of the time because Hugo is usually the last of the team to go to bed

Insane sweet tooth, genuinely can’t get through the day without consuming something sweet

First to see Hugo with his hair down and was a flustered mess about it for hours after

Hugo was the first one he told about his past as the Alchemist

Has the Saporian emblem on his body somewhere (either tattooed or branded idk) because everyone in that group has it as a way to pledge their loyalty

Slight country accent that surfaces only when he’s really fired up (you can pry this hc from my cold dead hands cuz I think it’s so funny that he becomes a cowboy when he’s angry)

“Accidentally” leaves too traps in the castle halls where he knows Nigel and/or Frederick will be walking

Forgets to eat all the time. People will remind him, but he’ll just wave it off and forget until someone shoves a ham sandwich in his face and threatens to reorganize his beaker drawer

Despises coffee and makes fun of Eugene for drinking an “old man” drink, but he will drink it if he’s pulling an all nighter and is desperate for something to keep him awake

Realized he was bisexual at some point during the journey. I feel like he wouldn’t care about romance after becoming royal engineer and getting over his crush on Cassandra, so it wouldn’t really occur to him that he likes both guys and girls until he’s on the road with too much time to think

Tries to emulate his dad when taking charge of the group cuz even away from home, he looks up to his dad

Wrist scars from the handcuffs during his prison era, whether they’re prominent or barely visible

Left-handed. Why? I dunno, it just makes sense to me

Hot chocolate snob. He’ll drink almost all kinds of hot chocolate, but he has a preference for the high quality stuff they keep in the castle and can tell the difference between different kinds (judges people who make it with water instead of milk)

When he’s in a particularly sour mood, he’ll shut off all the hot water in Corona just to be petty (usually does it when Frederick pisses him off)

Yong called him his brother once and he didn’t stop crying for an hour

Makes fun of Hugo for not knowing how to swim until Varian has to save him from drowning in the water trial

Gets offended when people call Ruddiger fat or say he’s overweight (he’s basically a bowling ball that waddles around the castle but Varian isn’t ready for that conversation yet)

Refuses to let people take care of him when he’s sick because they “have better things to do”

Hugo is the only one he will voluntarily share a lab space with. Anyone else and he’d sooner throw himself out a window

I have so much more but this is definitely long enough jansosiwbsoishwnsksoaisj I love him

Thank you for the ask <333

I have no thoughts other than library depression now. I don't even know how a library can be depressed, but it is.