My Dearest L...
My Dearest L...
The past few days have not felt real to me I've been feeling as if my world around me is nothing but a dream-like nothing is what it seems, I've been sticking into a dark place again but I seem to be slowly crawling out of my hole. I'm starting to snap back to reality, I started watching downtown abbey it seems to be trading right now so I thought I'd give it a try idk how I really feel about it yet, I'll have an updated post about it but for now, I'll just use it to distract myself from the world around me bec if I don't have anything to keep my mind busy that's when I start to over think and things tend to become bad for me. My OCD seems to be getting worse I'm starting to count things now like I have to run my fingers throw my curtains 4-6 times before I open or close the door or after I wash my hands I have to flick the water off my hands 4-6 times before I dry them.
More Posts from Thesadboisclub and Others
I light my smoke, you forget are book. A story I started, which you decide to end. Time only moves slow when the smoke slips through your fingers in the bed next to me.π€π
My Dearest L...
It's 5:49am and I went through a nether bipolar episode I'm so sad that I'm in this bed all alone with none to catch me when I fall. Time goes by while everyone has someone and I have none....I always used to think you and my sister would be alone and I'd be the happy one but who was I kidding I'm not that lucky...
My Dearest L...
I FUCKING HATE YOU for bringing him over that night and letting him talk to me, you knew I was vulnerable and I wasn't in the right state of mind and you still let him slip into my feelings, my thoughts, my heart... he dug and dug down into my heart and laid his bed and made himself at home, he walked around talking to her and you knew for so damn FUCKING long and told me to damn late you knew how much I put into him.. I did things for him I would of never of did for ANYONE in my life. but he was dif and you saw it in my eye's and you still let him break me in the end. you let him slip away tbh we all you, me and J......
MY DEAREST Lβ¦
I sit here today with a smoke in my hand and some unfortunate news I skipped work the other day not bec I wanted to, well that's I lie, I did want to not go that day but the thing is I hit up crazy girl. you know that series I was going to start but never got around to it, well I hit her up and went out to drink with her that night and I wasn't expecting to buy a bag but I did and things went south for me really fast it wasn't good shit and I wasn't feeling well at all, all night I just didn't want to be bothered and I was at the bar I wanted out of here. I honestly feel so bad with myself for doing that shit again. I just don't. want to go to that stupid job I'm at and drinking and lines are not taking me down the right path there making me feel like there is no meaning to life but when I do them I feel happier than when I'm sober. I've decided to take a break from the drugs and the alcohol for i bit to gather my mind. I've come to the realization that it's not the things I'm doing that's putting me down it's the job I'm at and the people I'm around that's doing it, I need to start actually living I'm 22 now and I still live at home while others are put there living there lives I just want to move on from this time in my life and actually start my own and being stuck in this house and town is starting to eat me alive. I can't take it anymore I can breathe, I have no space but leaving my mom behind is so hard for me I feel like I can't be we're so close together. like what is she going to do once I'm not here with her anymore? what is she supposed to spend her day doing when all she's done since I was born is be with me? I just don't know what to do anymore.
if anymore has any feedback or opinion please shear them I'd love to hear what you'd have to say!
My Dearest L...
I miss the dayβs drinking with my bestfriend...
My Dearest L...
well, I don't really know how this is going to go, I'm going to see the broken girl today maybe later on I haven't seen her since the night I when to her boyfriend's house and almost got covid >-< and the last time I saw her mom was when she throw my parents out of her house bec I was influencing her kid to drink more when in reality she was the one asking me to drink every weekend... now her mom wants to meet up for tea after that shit like really.
βIβm not superstitious. Iβm a witch. Witches arenβt superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.β
β Terry Pratchett
My Dearest Lβ¦
Well, today was actually a great day. Man was I tired when I got up this morning, but I didn't let that stop me from going out today. I got up put my hair up and put on some makeup and left out the front door. Off I went to store after store. The sun felt so good on my skin!!. OOOHH!!! you guys might or might not be happy to hear that Mexico is going to come home soon!!! so he says, I believe it when I see it XD but other than that today was a really great day. I loved it!!
It will be time for bed when theΒ cigaretteΒ hits the floor
TheSadBoisClub
πΏππ π½πππ π»πππππππ ππππ"ππ¬ π±π’ππ―π°, ππ©π’ππ°π’. βπ±'π° π π΄ππ°π±π’ π¬π£ π€π¬π¬π‘ π°π²π£π£π’π―π¦π«π€."
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