I’m Trapped. I Desperately Don’t Want To Live, I Desperately Need To Die. But I Can’t Do That To

“If I’m isolating myself, shutting everything and everyone out, it’s a sign it’s getting bad again.”

— (via devouring—despair)

I’m so sensitive and I feel things on such an intense level. I can’t do moderation. Pain and happiness is something we all experience, it’s a part of life . But there is so much more pain than the happiness. And that little happiness is no where near enough to mitigate the pain. And thinking that I have to fight this battle everyday for the rest of me life is exhausting. I can’t do it. I feel tired down to my bones. Talking myself out of killing myself everyday. Scared of triggers. Struggling to do basic things. Feeling hideous and unworthy of love. So much self hate. How can anyone do this for their entire life.

Overthinking the idea of “unrequited love”.

“And I knew it. That’s the worst part: I knew it.”

— Marguerite Duras, The North China Lover (via wordsnquotes)