I’m Not Sure Which Hurts More. The One Word Replies, The One Sided Conversations, The Glaringly Obvious

They told me leaving you was the cure to my pain. It was the supposed remedy for my heartache. Leaving you would calm the chaos in my head, how I would finally feel free and liberated.

It turned out to be a lie. All I do is wait for you to come back, all I feel is regret.

“I laughed and said, ‘Life is easy.’ What I meant was, ‘Life is easy with you here, and when you leave, it will be hard again.’”

— Miranda July; No One Belongs Here More Than You (via perfectquote)

“The world doesn’t seem like such a bad place when I’m with you.”

—

D.S

(via thelovenotebook)

I begged you to stay. I apologized so that you’d stay. I forgave everything you did to hurt me for you to stay. I swallowed my pride for you to stay. I was so caught up in getting you to stay in any way possible, I didn’t realize that if you wanted to stay I wouldn’t have to do any of the above.

“it scares me to think about how i’m only alive because i don’t want to hurt the people i love”

— that’s the only reason (via depresseddisneyprincess)

Some realizations I had in the last few days

— I’m never going to be good enough to make anyone stay

— I’m needy and pathetic, clingy and annoying. No one wants that

— I’m so inconsequential that I’m not even worth being told by people that they don’t want to talk to me

— there’s something terribly repulsive and unlovable about me

— my sadness will be the only thing that will be there for me so I need to hold on to it

— happiness isn’t for me

— I need to stop trying and accept my fate of dying alone. Let’s face it, why would anyone want me

I fought so hard in the past years for recovery and at some point I thought that I was getting better but now I hate my life even more than before and I don't know what to do anymore..

“What hurts the most is having to pretend that none of this hurts at all.”

— “im perfectly fine”