I Still Love You. After Everything I Still Love You. I Wish This Was Not True.

I was just a corpse you saw fit to drag around.

They told me leaving you was the cure to my pain. It was the supposed remedy for my heartache. Leaving you would calm the chaos in my head, how I would finally feel free and liberated.

It turned out to be a lie. All I do is wait for you to come back, all I feel is regret.

The thing is once you start thinking about killing yourself you can never go back. It becomes this option, that you can't unsee or stop thinking off. Whenever things get tough again it comes back to haunt you. There'll always be this voice whispering 'wouldn't it all be easier if you died' and you can never get rid of it

“Just because someone hurts you doesn’t mean you can simply stop loving them. It’s not a person’s actions that hurt the most. It’s the love. If there was no love attached to the action, the pain would be a little easier to bear.”

— Colleen Hoover, It Ends with Us

Is there a word to describe “i’m trying my absolute fucking hardest and it’s not good enough”