Thesemidnightthoughtss - Midnight Thoughts

Not knowing where this will lead scares me, but the thought of losing you scares me even more.

— Letters from S

The worst part about anything that’s self destructive is that it’s so intimate. You become so close with your addictions and illnesses that leaving them behind is like killing the part of yourself that taught you how to survive.

Why wasn’t I enough?

I hate myself so fucking much.

Everything and everyone would be so much better off if I wasn't here at all.

I will never have purpose, I will never deserve to live.

I shouldn’t still be here.

I don’t want to be.

I don’t want to be here anymore.

I don’t think people realize how overthinking slowly kills you, they don’t know how it can turn your mind into thoughts you wish weren’t yours

I’m not sure which hurts more. The one word replies, the one sided conversations, the glaringly obvious lack of interest and effort. Or not hearing from you at all.

I fought so hard in the past years for recovery and at some point I thought that I was getting better but now I hate my life even more than before and I don't know what to do anymore..