Thesemidnightthoughtss - Midnight Thoughts

well well well if it isn’t my own mental illness coming to mentally ill me

“it scares me to think about how i’m only alive because i don’t want to hurt the people i love”

— that’s the only reason (via depresseddisneyprincess)

me: *exists* me: this is too much

Mental illness took so much away from me, sometimes I wish it would have taken my life as well

― Mieko Kawakami, Heaven

Some realizations I had in the last few days

— I’m never going to be good enough to make anyone stay

— I’m needy and pathetic, clingy and annoying. No one wants that

— I’m so inconsequential that I’m not even worth being told by people that they don’t want to talk to me

— there’s something terribly repulsive and unlovable about me

— my sadness will be the only thing that will be there for me so I need to hold on to it

— happiness isn’t for me

— I need to stop trying and accept my fate of dying alone. Let’s face it, why would anyone want me

The heart wants what the heart wants and there’s nothing one can do about it, except for suffering.

I wish I didn’t want you anymore.

Fuck. Everything hurts and, oh god I wish I was dead.

“And I knew it. That’s the worst part: I knew it.”

— Marguerite Duras, The North China Lover (via wordsnquotes)