Mental Illness Took So Much Away From Me, Sometimes I Wish It Would Have Taken My Life As Well

I begged you to stay. I apologized so that you’d stay. I forgave everything you did to hurt me for you to stay. I swallowed my pride for you to stay. I was so caught up in getting you to stay in any way possible, I didn’t realize that if you wanted to stay I wouldn’t have to do any of the above.

“But he wasn’t written for her and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t rewrite the story.”

- C. H.

On most days it just hits me why am I even trying to put any effort at doing anything when all it leads to failure in a life I don’t even fucking want.

“I wanted to.. I wanted to tell you how much I’m hurting, how badly I just want it all to stop.. but all I could get out was “I’m fine” and force a smile. But I wanted you to see that I’m not really fine, I wanted you to take me into your arms and tell me it’ll all be okay while you rub my back, even if I don’t believe it.. I just want you to notice..”

— (J.A.L 5/5/17 10:45 pm)

“If I’m isolating myself, shutting everything and everyone out, it’s a sign it’s getting bad again.”

— (via devouring—despair)

“It’s tough to get out of bed; I know that myself. You can lie there for an hour and a half without thinking anything, just worrying about what the day holds and knowing that you won’t be able to deal with it.”

— Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story (via thebookquotes)