Thesemidnightthoughtss - Midnight Thoughts

“I think hell is something you carry around with you. Not somewhere you go.”

— Neil Gaiman

me: *exists* me: this is too much

Ever hated yourself so much that the only thing you could is think about is punishing yourself and making yourself suffer? Doing every self destructive thing you can think of. Wanting to harm yourself because there’s so much hate. And you don’t know how to deal with it without taking it out on yourself

I can’t do this anymore. I hate myself so much, it’s suffocating me. It’s getting closer and closer to swallowing me and I just let it come.

depending your entire mood on another person is absolutely pathetic and i hate that i’m like this

Some realizations I had in the last few days

— I’m never going to be good enough to make anyone stay

— I’m needy and pathetic, clingy and annoying. No one wants that

— I’m so inconsequential that I’m not even worth being told by people that they don’t want to talk to me

— there’s something terribly repulsive and unlovable about me

— my sadness will be the only thing that will be there for me so I need to hold on to it

— happiness isn’t for me

— I need to stop trying and accept my fate of dying alone. Let’s face it, why would anyone want me