The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants And There’s Nothing One Can Do About It, Except For Suffering.

It’s always the people you would never want to hurt and care about so much that do the most fucked up shit to you.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I guess I’ll cry till I have no tears left. I’ll hurt till I get used to the pain. And then someday, hopefully the pain will numb and I’ll be able to breathe without my chest hurting.

I’m trapped. I desperately don’t want to live, I desperately need to die. But I can’t do that to my loved ones. So I live everyday and I suffer. And I suffer, suffer so so much.

“you’re so distant” you literally made me feel like i wasn’t important

why do mental disorders come in groups like wasnt one enough why do i gotta have 4

Benjamin Fondane

A part of suicidal ideation or self harm no one talks about is the numbness to the subject that comes with it. I sit and scroll through pages and pages of cries for help, suicide notes and plans and feel nothing. No worry, no concern, no crushing feeling in my chest. Nothing. Those familiar feelings are now replaced with a strange familiarity, a kind of comfort that it’s not just me.

Fuck. When did it get to this

“My heart gets sad sometimes. I’m not really sure why. It just starts to ache and my body begins to feel hollow. My mind wanders. I hate feeling like this. I don’t want to. But I can’t help it. My heart just feels heavy.”

— You asked why I was so quiet