I Am No One's Favorite Anything. The Only People That "like" Me Only Like What I Can Do For Them.

Idk if I’m just a loser with no friends, but being severely depressed and putting your phone on DND all day to see that nobody checked in kinda hurts lol. Maybe it’s just me.

I've been so ashamed of the fact that I'm me

posting on tumblr cause i don’t have anyone to talk to, tired of burdening my fp with my feelings, it just pushes them further away, im so lonely.

One minute you’re recovering so well, feeling like life is worth living and you are worth loving. The next you are alone again, feeling 13 years old and harming yourself, reminded of why no one could ever like you in the first place. I fear I will always return back to that person…

I relate.

My brain is trying to latch onto something that might make me feel alive again, even if it’s a pathetic fantasy. It’s hard to sit with numbness. But deep down, I know nothing can fill the void I feel deep within my soul—that void that keeps getting deeper to the point where it will consume me one day. It’s hollowing me out from the inside, and I’m watching myself fade, but I don’t have the energy to stop it.

I’ve tried so hard not to let my depression define me, not to let it become my identity, but unfortunately, it has the upper hand. It controls everything—it has become me. Depression is so loud that I can’t hear anything else; it drowns everything out. I tried to convince myself that depression wasn’t me, that it was simply happening to me, but I failed. Depression has won. It has erased me completely, and it doesn’t seem willing to loosen its grip.

I miss the era of my functional depression now I’m just bedrotting. At least with functional depression I could still do things, still pretend, still have sense of normalcy. Now it’s just this heavy paralyzing nothingness.

~ Girls when they can never be as pretty as the others, no matter how hard they try ~

Does anybody get in that mood where if you don’t absolutely destroy your life in the next 5 minutes you’ll spontaneously combust

If the rest of my life is like this I’m gonna be honest… I will definitely be killing myself at some point