I’m Done, Defeated. Some Of Us Aren’t Meant To Be Loved. Today Is The Day I Will Try To Accept That.

i feel like a doll sitting on a shelf waiting until someone wants to play with me in order to feel alive again

How a person ends things with you, speaks volumes. You always have the choice to be kind and respectful. It’s always there. But he decided not to and although it’s a reflection of him but god damn it always ends with, what did I do.

When you reach the point where your planning your suicide but still no one even noticed you were struggling in the first place <<

BPD math: they said I can come "if I want" instead of "you should come" so that means they hate me and they wish I was dead.

ouch being reminded you’re the biggest waste of space hurts

Neglected children will sometimes go ‘okay time to dangerously deteriorate to see if anyone cares about me’ and then if nobody does, they don’t know how to stop deteriorating on their own, they’ll need help to pick themselves back up.

 And if that help doesn’t arrive, they’ll conclude ‘I was right to destroy myself in a world where nobody cares for me anyway, why should I live at all’ and it sets them on a miserable life path where all they see is chances for self destruction and proof of nobody caring, and from the very start it’s not their fault at all.

Because someone should notice when a kid starts losing themselves and step up and help. Children are not meant to know how to take care of themselves in an environment where they’re neglected, ignored and uncared for. Putting them in such an environment then blaming them for deteriorating is absolutely ridiculous. It takes paying attention and realizing when something is wrong and pulling a kid out of the black hole they’re falling into, before they can no longer crawl their way out on their own. 

It’s not acceptable to let children deal with abandonment and neglect all on their own, and expect them to not grow up miserable, resentful, struggling, and doing harm to themselves. It’s the same harm we never stopped them from doing when they were kids, when they needed to know that someone would care if they’re hurt. If we want functional and healthy adults in the society, we have to notice what is going on with the kids and make sure they’re helped in time. 

Sometimes I feel like I go above and beyond for people to make up for the fact that I’ll never be good enough and in hopes that it’ll distract them enough so they don’t notice and leave.

Realizing that the ppl you make time for can’t find it in themselves to give you even a second of their time has gotta be like top 5 most heartbreaking things to happen