When You Reach The Point Where Your Planning Your Suicide But Still No One Even Noticed You Were Struggling

new treatment idea !! euthenize me

I ⠀ want ⠀ to ⠀ be ⠀ loved ⠀ more ⠀ than ⠀ I want ⠀ to ⠀ be ⠀ alive ⠀ .

I genuinely think there’s something so irrevocably wrong with me that no matter how hard I try to recover and distract myself with good people and nice things I will never be able to escape it

I think something that is tough about BPD is being in a relatively good place in life and still feeling the destructive urge to end it all.

They should invent a new kind of Being Alive where it's not painful and it doesn't hurt constantly and actually feels worth it and you're happy for more than a few hours at a time

Maybe what you need isn't someone to love. Maybe what you need is to feel wanted. Maybe what you need is purpose, because loving them makes you feel like your life is finally worth something. At the end of the day, maybe it isn't really about them after all.

Buying my coworkers lunch and gifts as if this is stardew valley and I can bribe them to be my friends

unfortunately, i am an attention whore.

also unfortunately, no matter what i do, i don't get the attention i crave.

If the rest of my life is like this I’m gonna be honest… I will definitely be killing myself at some point