It Finally Clicked In My Brain, That The Reason You Don't Treat Me Like You Treat Others In Your Life,

did you hold me knowing you were going to let me go?

BPD culture is distractions. this is a distraction. tumblr is a distraction. music is a distraction. tv is a distraction. friends are a distraction. you're a distraction. everything is a distraction from my thoughts and the constant pain. but there's triggers in so many of the distractions anyway, and the pain never goes away.

– 👁

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Live or die; life or death; Should I kill myself or make myself a coffee?

"ill never leave you" liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar

"you can unmask around me! I'm supportive" no you don't understand I will literally ruin this friendship in a day. I will just be a complete asshole. masking is the only way I can interact with other people

the worst part of love is that i remember it. i walk around all day thinking: i'm going to die in this universe you loved me in. i get so jealous of euthanized dogs

-june gehringer

I'm literally in an abusive relationship with myself, I constantly belittle myself, and put myself in situations intentionally to be harmed.

TW: Suicidal Idealation

Am I the only one who feels doomed to die young? Like, when I think about my future, the only thing that feels right is me dying young.

One minute you’re recovering so well, feeling like life is worth living and you are worth loving. The next you are alone again, feeling 13 years old and harming yourself, reminded of why no one could ever like you in the first place. I fear I will always return back to that person…