Solomon: You Were Stabbed. Do You Remember Anything?

Solomon: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

MC: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Solomon: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

MC: But I heard a siren.

Solomon: That was Mammon.

Mammon: Sorry, I got nervous-

——

Belphegor: If we put Solomon and Barbatos in a room, who would come out crying first?

Diavolo: The room.

——

Barbatos: Where's Satan..?

MC: Doing stuff.

Barbatos: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Lucifer?

MC: Trying to stop Satan. from doing the stuff.

Barbatos: And Asmodeus?

MC: Trying to stop Lucifer from stopping Satan. from doing the stuff.

Barbatos: I see. And what are you doing here, MC?

MC: I'm supposed to stop you from stopping Asmodeus from stopping Lucifer from stopping Satan, from doing the stuff.

——

Mammon: You can trust me! Let's not forget who pulled you out of the river when you were six.

Levi: let's not forget who pushed me in

——

Lucifer: You don’t want MC to die

Simeon: Right.

Lucifer: And I don't want MC to die.

Simeon: Right.

Lucifer: So we just have to make sure MC doesn’t want MC to die.

Simeon: Wonderful plan, but have you met MC?

——

Asmodeus: Do you think I’m ugly?

Solomon: It’s not about looks, Asmodeus. What’s valuable is on the inside...

Asmodeus: Aww.. Sol...

Solomon: For example, someone's heart.

Asmodeus: Aw... Stop it-

Solomon: It could be purchased for more than a million dollars, you know.

Asmodeus: Seriously, stop it.

——

Diavolo: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-

MC: Eyy, homie!

Leviathan: But then there's cootie...

Belphegor: Die.

——

Lucifer: Who broke the toaster?

Satan: It was Mammon.

Asmodeus: It was Mammon.

Beelzebub: Mammon broke it.

Mammon:

Mammon: ...yOU PROMISED-

——

Luke: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not!

Simeon: Luke, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.

Luke: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!

Solomon: ...It was a bug…

Luke: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!

Solomon: ...

Simeon: ...

Luke: Stop looking at me like that!

——

Asmodeus: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.

Lucifer: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

——

Mammon: I'm not that stupid!

Lucifer: Mammon, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

Mammon: BELPHIE TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

——

Mephisto, referring to MC and Mammon: Those guys are dorks.

Lucifer, insulted: Yes, but they’re my dorks.

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tlamishereig

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villain: this is photographic evidence of your children committing war crimes

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tlamishereig

10 months ago

Jason: wow I love Kyle

Roy: wow I love Kyle

Connor: wow I love Kyle

Guy: wow I love Kyle

Wally: wow I love kyle

Me: wow I really love kyle

Kyle: :)

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tlamishereig

9 months ago

In-universe, the Waynes are probably described as "if the Kardashians were also the Addams family"

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tlamishereig

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I SAID I'VE PLAYED THESE GAMES BEFORE

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tlamishereig

6 months ago

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 ＼(≧▽≦)／ HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 ＼(≧▽≦)／ HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!

HI HIIII I’M BACK WITH MEMES…!! I don’t know if someone did this already cause my brain is telling me that there was but!!!! I made some to test out my art style !! I think it turned out lovely!

one of my favorite memes ever JKDSJFKSDJKDS also first time drawing Skylor woo!!! (*°▽°*)

bonus greeenflower hehehehe o(≧▽≦)o

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tlamishereig

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Yaoiful yuri

He/they for nya btw

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tlamishereig

9 months ago

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tlamishereig

10 months ago

The Batkids doing something considered rebellious and Bruce is unimpressed because "been there, done that" headcanon :

Damian runs away and sleeps under a bridge at some point -> Bruce did it at nine years old.

Tim gets piercings (bonus : Kon pierced him) -> Bruce had his nipples pierced by Minkhoa back in the days.

Jason gets home smelling of weed -> Bruce didn't only taste foreign food around the world when he was training...

Steph gets a mohawk -> Bruce had a bright pink mohawk at some point to piss Alfred off.

Dick anonymously starts an OF -> Bruce may or may not have leaked his own sextapes (yes, multiple) for "legitimate Batman-related" reasons.

Cass accidentally joins a cult -> Bruce and Minkhoa competitively founded a cult to see who would get to be the ultimate guru.

Duke finds himself in custody for whatever silly reason really -> Bruce went to prison (more than once) (in different countries) (for terrible motives) (he's still blacklisted in some of those countries)

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tlamishereig

9 months ago

this is canon

Clark Kent: Jon, your mother and I have something important to tell you. I’m… Superman.

Jon, who has read the Percy Jackson series: wait, is that why I have dyslexia? Because my brain is wired for Kryptonese?

Lois, from downstairs: HONEY HOW DO YOU SPELL TACO

Clark, deadpan: no, the dyslexia is from your mother

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tlamishereig

9 months ago

The Song of Achilles by Damian & Jon.