I Low-key Wanna Attempt Suicide Just So I Can Get Admitted To A Hospital And People Can Actually Know

My favorite game is Am I Being Severely Haunted or Am I Hallucinating Again

to want and be wanted

georges bataille / emily palermo / olivia laing / @chaandajaan / georges bataille / cj hauser / @kvetchkween / @nicholasbraungf / vi khi nao / silas denver melvin

“What if I slept a little more and forgot about all this nonsense.”

— Franz Kafka

— Clarice Lispector, from “Report on the Thing.”

no matter what I'm doing it's wrong

no matter what I'm saying it's wrong

like what the fuck I just wanna die

— Clarice Lispector, from “The Hour of the Star.”

Fever: Rambling #12

18th April 2022, 02:18

Do you know what else is incredibly annoying? The illness that is still in my body. To give you context, I got sick around mid January. Not covid, although it mimicked covid. It is almost May and I still have the damn sickness. Granted, my snotty nose and coughing is much less, but I still have a damn fever. It’s awful because I’m always freezing cold. I want to be known as the freezing cold person. It scratches a part of my eating disordered brain, “ooga booga, if you’re cold and pale, people will notice you and ask if you’re okay, ooga booga”. I don’t know, I guess I just want shot of this bug. I even got blood tests done last week (damn, I need to post a rambling about my health problems at some point), and the virus showed up in my blood. It was actually pretty scary because they phoned me and I thought they were going to tell me I had cancer or something. I shouldn’t have to worry about shit like this, I’m only 20.

~ 化け猫 (Bakeneko)

“For as long as I could remember, I had been apologizing for existing, for trying to be who I was, to live the life I was meant to lead.”

— Meredith Russo

my healing cuts are so fucking itchy AAAAAAAAA