DEAD DOVE RP FINDER

Bonnie and Clyde: Rambling #14

19th April 2022, 00:31

Dear God, my last rambling made me start thinking about this. A lover. A crazed lover. Somebody who is obsessed and head over heels for me. Somebody who spends every minute thinking about me, plotting scenarios about me, dreaming about me, who would do absolutely anything for me. Just as I would for them. In love. Wholly in love. Wildly in love. Our love would be messy. Bloody. I want us to elope and become Bonnie and Clyde. I want them to look at me, sparks behind their eyes, with a knife in their hand, blood spattered across their face, and a corpse by their feet. I want to walk forward, clutch their jaw, and press my lips firmly to their own. I want to make love in the blood of our victim. But, are they really a victim? We’re only ridding them from this horrible, horrible world. I think I would try and kill the bad, worst people of this world first. The animal abusers. The pedophiles. The parents who beat their children. Rich people who don’t donate to charities. Oh, and that one girl who lied about me hurting her when I was about six years old. You fucking bitch. I didn’t touch you. But, now I will. I’ll hurt you in the way you said I did, and then my partner will slit your throat and your blood will coat my naked body. I’ll glisten black under the moonlight. My lover, their eyes dilated in admiration, would drop their knife and come to me, tender hands leaving trails through the blood across my chest. Oh, how I would fall for you even further. I would kill for you. I would do anything for you. I would grow you roses fed with the blood of my enemies. They would be the brightest, most healthiest, deep red roses you have ever seen. All you have to do is let go and trust me. Just let go. Let your inner demons take control of the steering wheel. Join me in my instantly. Together we can dominate this disgusting, pathetic world. After all, it’s not fun to be insane when you’re alone.

~ 化け猫 (Bakeneko)

Things that don’t make you a bad person:

Displaying “scary” symptoms of mental illness

Being diagnosed with multiple disorders

Having one or various personality disorders

Being diagnosed with NPD, BPD, or ASPD

Having very low empathy, or no empathy

Having symptoms that cause anger, emptiness, or paranoia

Having triggers or “strange” personal boundaries

Needing extra help or accommodations

Having intrusive thoughts about upsetting or scary topics

Easter: Rambling #7

17th April 2022, 15:29

Easter is definitely one of my least hated celebrations. That goes alongside Halloween. I don’t like Valentine’s Day, Christmas, or New Year. I think that is because they’re all about love and family, and I barely have those two things. There are two points, however, that I dislike about Easter. The first is all the chocolate. I have difficulties with my eating. I want to be the thinnest in my friend group. I want to look unwell, pale, and bony. Sometimes I don’t eat to try and achieve this. As of now, I am the thinnest in my group and my family. This feels like a great achievement. Secondly, I don’t like all the middle class things I have to see being broadcasted across media. I hate the little Easter caricatures, or the community Easter egg hunts. It makes me feel sick. How dare these people enjoy life when there are others out there, including me, who can barely walk five steps without feeling like I’m about to be swallowed into purgatory? My mum didn’t do much for Easter this year. Usually she would hide chocolate eggs for me or make me a treasure hunt. I instinctively started looking around when I came downstairs. Of course, there was nothing there. I was disappointed, but I couldn’t blame her. She’s depressed and suicidal at the moment. On the one hand, I love her and I wish I could help her more. On the other hand, I still feel betrayed over the fact that she didn’t defend me when I was being abused. I was completely alone, isolated, and she allowed it to happen. That’s something I will never forgive, no matter how wonderful of a mother she has been to me and all the things she has helped me with over the years. Easter also reminds me of the disappointment I felt as a child. My sister and I were so excited. We waited upstairs for hours, waiting to be told we could come down and see what Easter Bunny had left for us. We waited so long that we had to call down and ask if we could come down. They said yes. We ran downstairs and were met with nothing. Nada. Zilch. The sadness was immeasurable. My father was surrounded by beer bottles. He told us to take the dog (who is now dead and sadly missed) for a walk. We obeyed. When we came home, there was chocolate for us. Of course, I knew what had happened, but I didn’t want to believe it. I acknowledge it now as an adult. My mother had bought the chocolate and left my dad to hide them around the house and garden. My father, instead, got drunk and fell asleep. I feel bad for the effort my mother put in. This happened two years in a row. They divorced not long after that. Not because of Easter, just because my father was an abusive piece of shit. I didn’t deserve what happened to me. My sister didn’t deserve what happened to her (I will stand by that, despite the fact that my sister was incredibly abusive towards me). My mum deserved to be happy, and now look at her. She’s so depressed that Easter has reverted back to my childhood. What a shame.

~ 化け猫 (Bakeneko)

currently thinking which part i should cxt of myself

Reposting this because I need more.

Genshin RP

This might be a long shot, but would anybody be the Bennett to my Razor?

I can write a lot, and I primarily use Discord. Any theme is acceptable. I would like to headcannon and get to know my partner, too. I can even text in character or play the game in character with you.

Like this post or send me a DM if interested!

(I am 18+, so preferably 16+)