Fuuuuck That Is My Circus. Are Those…? Yep… Those Are My Monkeys….. Goddammit.

Two words guys…. Uncle Dudley

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Senior Citizen Smackdown Nominations

Force an elderly person into a cage fight by submitting their name below

This is the nominations form for the DC comics Senior Citizen Smackdown tournament.

You've heard of Earth is space australia now get ready for: Earth is the space Amazon Rainforest. Aliens land on Earth and they are losing their goddamn minds because every square inch of the ground is absolutely PACKED with life like there are hundreds of species just in this one site, there are winged animals flying through the sky and multiple colonies of sophisticated social insects just in the shadow of their ship, this ONE ROCK is covered in MULTIPLE SPECIES OF ORGANISMS that are themselves MULTIPLE ORGANISMS LIVING SYMBIOTICALLY, the tall, woody autotrophs look so different from each other because they're...holy shit that's like 5, 6, 7???? different species on this one site???

they start talking to a human and the human is like "haha yeah that's a crow!" and the alien researcher is like "you called it a 'bird' earlier, is that a different name?" and the human is like "oh a crow is just one species of bird, there's like, 10 others out there"

"On this planet?"

"No, in the back yard right now."

A mutual changing their profile pic is the online equivalent to your friend getting drastic plastic surgery

Like, babe, what happened to your face why is it so wrong shaped

GCPD Officer: You’re under arrest for attempting to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Jason: Damn, Bruce is gonna kill- wait, three?

GCPD Officer: yes, three.

Steph: oh shit

Tim: Cass fucking fell off!

Cass, somehow hanging off the back off the motorcycle by her fingers with ease: no I didn’t?

GCPD Officer, surprised: Jesus Christ!

Steph, shaking Jason’s shoulders: quickly! While he’s distracted!

Jason, speeding off with Cass still hanging off the motorcycle: shit, now we gotta pay Babs off so she doesn’t show Bruce the CCTV footage!

Tim: *falls off 2 minutes later*

Sometimes I feel like I live in a timely loop where every two weeks there’s another “pick your favourite/who’s the best Robin” poll.

One day Stephanie is going to win and then you’ll all see.

I need more Captain Marvel (Shazam) content where all the gods treat him like their baby nephew/baby cousin.

Like I’m talking pinched cheeks, hair ruffling, picking him up under his armpits like a cat, cooing, excessive gifts (but since they are all old as shit as well as literal gods it’s stuff like solid gold bars, little wooden toys, ceremonial daggers and a goat that one time).

It happens both when he’s Billy Batson and when he’s Captain Marvel.

So imagine the JL seeing their heaviest hitter and brick wall of a man having his cheeks pinched and him being swung and dangled around like a rag doll by these 10ft tall gods that came outta nowhere.

I think it’s humorous when DC villians are all (inconsistently) honorable when it comes to their heroes being injured or getting unmasked, like that could never be the case for Billy Batson. His dynamic with his regular villains kinda hinges on the fact that most of them know he’s 7-14 years old, an orphan, and/or likely homeless depending on the timeline they’re attacking him.

They’re just 1000% down with killing him the moment he’s gets caught flat footed and joking with him they fail because it’s the Same Shit As Normal for Billy. He doesn’t really know any other way of life since because of his uncle’s schemes to steal his inheritance and forcing Billy to steal if he wants to come back home.

It must give other heroes whiplash.

I feel like when things are quiet in Gotham and the only threat is normal criminals, Cass would have no issue blasting music on patrol just for fun. No one knows what to make of it, Bruce isn't sure if it's an effective crime fighting tactic or not but it sure is Something.

You are random Gotham mugger 745 trying to steal from a woman on her way home from work and you suddenly hear Chappell Roan's Good Luck Babe growing ominously louder until you're suddenly knocked out too fast to recognise who it is. You end up at the police station with five other guys who've experienced something similar. One says they heard Mitski's My Love Mine All Mine playing. Another heard wish you were gay by Billie Eilish. Is there a lesbian ghost haunting Gotham? What the hell is going on?

Elsewhere on a completely unrelated note Barbara is having a long discussion with Cass on first loves and realising you're gay. Chappell Roan and girl in red will be haunting Gotham criminals for a solid month before she finally works up the courage to actually Talk to Steph about how she's feeling, at which point the lesbian ghost who knocks criminals unconscious will have developed into a Gotham meme and become an urban legend. Believers will say it's a new god here to protect sapphic women. Skeptics will tell you it's probably just Poison Ivy.