Cass: Barbara, We're Out Of Pop Tarts. Babs: CASS WHAT THE FUCK?! Cass: What? I Get Snacky. Babs: No

Mute billy

Wizard: “Say my name!” *closes eyes and raises hands*

Billy: *stares*

Wizard: *cracks one eye open* “Billy, say my name.”

Billy: *continues staring*

Wizard: “Billy??”

Somehow, The Wizard didn’t realize that throughout his entire speech about Billy becoming the Champion, Billy hadn’t said a word and just stared.

Wizard: “Billy… if you can speak, say my name-” *gets crushed by the stone thing*

And that’s how Billy went like a solid two weeks without transforming. By the end, he was teaming with magical energy so much so that he thought if he just moved to the wrong way, he’d explode. He knew you were supposed to say something, but since he couldn’t say anything, he had to find a way around it.

Billy: *walks into an alley and finds a piece of cardboard and scribbles the word Shazam on it*

Now, he was about to go back to the cave and see if he could just thrust the cardboard at the Wizard’s corpse and pray it will work. Unfortunately, it started raining halfway there.

Billy: *ducks into a different alley for a shortcut, and holds the cardboard above his head to block the rain*

Billy heard thunder, and then he was a grown ass man.

Zeus: ‘FINALLY! Sorry, kiddo, but I just took what I could get.’

Marvel: *confusion*

Solomon: ‘Billy, because you cannot speak, please just hold the cardboard above your head, so our friend- eh… colleague Zeus can see.’

And that’s how Billy gained the ability to transform. He went around being a hero and all that, he got to meet the Fawcett heroes and befriend them still.

Minute-Man: “Yeah, so I’ll take two scoops of chocolate.” *look to Marvel* “What do you want, big man?”

Marvel: *silence*

Minute-Man: *somehow understood his silence* “Right, and he’ll take a scoop of Rocky Road.”

They all developed a wordless understanding of the Cheese.

Then the bubble popped and Billy got to interact with people outside of the Fawcett heroes and Fawcitizens who were used to him being the big silent sunshine.

Marvel: *standing menacingly behind a Gothamite*

Gothamite: *slowly turns around, thinking they’re about to be bludgeoned to death by the next Bizarro*

Marvel: *points to their dog*

Gothamite: *now thinks their dog is about to be bludgeoned to death by the next Bizarro*

Marvel: *inches closer to the doggy*

Dog: *can sense its about to get pets and just loves it*

Gothamite: *confused as to why their dog isn’t literally whimpering in fear*

Marvel: *pets the doggy*

Gothamite: *confusion*

Marvel: *finishes, waves, and leaves*

or

JL: “Tell us who you are!”

Marvel: *just stares*

Spy Smasher: “His name is Captain Marvel, or Cap.”

Supes: “He couldn’t answer himself?”

Bulletman: “He can’t talk.”

Supes: “Oh.”

Batman: “That doesn’t answer who you all are. It’s not everyday a group of heroes just pops up-”

Spy Smasher: “SHUT THE HELL UP. We came before you kiddies!”

Marvel: *pats his shoulder looking at him like he’s crazy*

That was Billy’s way of saying “dude calm the hell down. Please.” Also, because Billy is mute, his face is extremely expressive. Marvel stared him into apologizing.

Spy Smasher: “I apologize for my outburst.”

You just know Stephanie is every supervillain in Gotham's least favorite Bat to fight. Half because she never shuts the hell up and half because every last one of them went through a phase of assuming she was the least threatening of the Bats until they actually went up against her and took a sledgehammer to the kneecaps. Whenever new blood turns up to Gotham looking to make a name for themselves the veteran rogues give them the same orientation speech. Do not let the wisecracking fool you, the blonde one is fucking crazy.

God, but Steph studying medicine isn't nearly talked about enough. Imagine her taking over Leslie's clinic after she retires (what? Is she gonna still be running the place when Damian's grown up). Bruce, who has always wanted one of his kids to go to college learns she is, and is studying the same subject his father did. Except not his kid, because he kinda blew that didn't he? But Steph has always had a standing invitation to any Wayne Gala's and now he always introduces her and mentions her degree and she gets to take time off patrols for her studies and he's always super interested in hearing her talk about it all-

And Steph finds it super weird that he's suddenly engaging with her more than he ever did.

Sometimes I think Gotham should just save time and throw you directly into the Asylum the minute you get your doctorate.

The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight.

People will hate me for saying that Steph is probably in the top 5 fighters for the Bat-Fam, but she went up against not only Cass and survived but also a literal student of Lady Shiva, lmfao.

Like I feel like people severely underestimate how good she is as fighting.

5 for beef

1 or 3 for toast

Don’t like coffee

this is going around twitter and i thought it'd be a fun little thing to bond over

in the tags as usual

All the Batkids ended up dog piling on her just to keep her in bed. Team effort

Alfred sends Cass to forcibly take out wrangle anyone refusing to take a much-needed sick day.

The Batfam draws straws and sets up bets to decide how many people will try and take down Cass when she's got pneumonia.

POV: you see your coworker —who is basically had all the sunshine in the world packed into the body of a buff dude— get so incredibly rage filled when he saw some random civilians being taken hostage that the villain’s entire fortified base was destroyed in a matter of booming lighting filled minutes. And then once your coworker’s eyes stop glowing from pure rage, he rushes over to these civilians and starts to cry from overwhelming relief.

And you think, oh, okay, those are his kids! But no, you hear in his worried babbling this fully grown man calling the little girl “sis” as the two kids are trying to reassure him while they look completely unfazed by the entire situation

I need more fics where the JL witness Captain Marvel (Shazam) get angry for the first time.

Like that dude would be absolutely terrifying.

Imagine, JL are on the regular mission and suddenly it’s revealed that the villain has two kids tied up and gagged as hostages (Freddy and Mary)

And the JL don’t even get to react before lightning starts to crackle off of the Captain and his eyes are practically glowing. And this dude just starts absolutely TEARING through every defence almost as fast as the flash and with more strength than superman. And if it weren’t for his morals you know he’d kill the villain on the spot just for laying a finger on his family.

So JL are just standing still in shock as Captain Marvel’s rage turns off immediately as soon as he’s with those random kids, bonus points if he’s on the verge of tears of relief that they are okay.

See, while I agree that Steph would understand Jason... Maybe even agree with a choice here and there... I can't help but feel like she'd resent him. Resent his attitude, he's Bruce's son and it's obvious. Nobody has suffered like he, and nobody can understand him. He's so hard done by and he has to be the way he is. It's all the talk of Bruce, with a half baked plan to fix the city's current issues and create brand new ones.

And Bruce bends BACKWARDS for this motherfucker. Looking the other way and giving a million chances. Stephanie knows that if she did just one thing like Jason does on the daily, she'd be Bruce's top target. If she had came back from Africa and tried to kill him, to kill OTHER sidekicks, Bruce would have wasted nothing trying to take her down.

Jason wasn't the one failed by Bruce, Jason wasn't the one that had to fake his death to get away. Jason wasn't the one hurt by Bruce.

Stephanie faked her death. Stephanie died. Stephanie saw her best friend failed time and time again by the boys.

Jason gets no sympathy from Stephanie. He's just another boy who can't control his emotions. He's another man with a gun who thinks he's had the hardest go of it, not knowing just how much worse others, how much worse women, have it.

All Jason is to Stephanie is proof of Bruce's hatred of her, proof of his bias. A boy spoiled by privilege. She would not see the boy from Crime Alley, she'd see the boy from Wayne Manor.