HELLO?!

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

dan: I vow to be your companion through every phase of our lives and to cherish you as my eternal consolation prize. Even at our worst, I vow to never leave your side as my tretoureas soul is a mere extension of yours...even if souls aren't real. You are my partner, my lover, my very best friend, my arch nemesis, my heart, my soul. And on this day I pledge to give you my all because it's yours anyway. Since even the darkest corners of my heart string and pull at the beat of your heart.

The crazy thing about The Ranch Monologue™️ is that Dan is using them to explain how perfect ranch is. He tastes ranch and thinks “this is such a perfect combination of flavors” and in his brain the best way to explain to Phil how much he likes it is to say “it’s just like US”. He’s not using ranch as a metaphor for his relationship he’s using the relationship to explain how perfect the ranch is.

Best RPF Ship - FINAL!

eating pastries is so humiliating cause you'll be having the time of your life having it and then when you're finished you look down and you're covered in flakes and sugardust like fuuuck now everyone is going to know i'm a messy pastry whore

trying so hard to resist the urge to go back to sleep to pass time to see if dip n pip upload

trying to explain my relationship with dnp to my partner who’s never watched them makes me sound SO crazy. like, they are my dads and my best friends. i know too much about them while they know nothing about me… whattt is SO hard to understand

i was sat in the perfect spot today to see directly into the right hand side wings and I could see basically all of the crew back there if the light was right and phil took a bit longer to come out after he took of his silicone chest and dan was stalling and telling us about how they accidentally uploaded the wrong video yesterday and phil appeared in the wings whilst he was in the middle of talking and he just stood there with the biggest heart eyes I’ve seen watching Dan just yap on the stage lol … it killed me off and I don’t think anyone else saw it

why would you say this to me.