Latest Posts by twobraincellgenius - Page 4

Scout: I always keep a bat by my bed.

Spy: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Sniper: I sleep with a knife.

Medic: Ho ho ho, the three of you are pathetic.

Scout: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Medic: Heavy.

Your daily dose of cat memes

You know that post about how angels and telephone towers are biologically compatible? That’s how I feel about overgrown plants and industrial machines.

please don't reblog this post a devilish temptress tricked me into making it and she placed a hex upon it so that every reblog removes a molecule from my body

Puki will you leave tumblr because everyone’s acting like it’s dead now :(

oh yeah its SO dead.

1000 notes this post. Now

Tiers of "heroes don't kill people, but we still want the villain to die because something something justice" in ascending order of "well, technically":

Hero simply leaves; villain coincidentally killed shortly thereafter by something unrelated. Example: murdered by treacherous minions.

Villain accidentally kills self while attempting to harm hero. Example: shoots at hero, misses, struck by improbable ricochet.

Hero and villain's conflict leads to perilous locale from which only hero escapes. Example: fighting on train tracks, villain hit by train.

Villain defeated non-lethally; dies anyway due to unpredictable or outside factors. Example: villain disarmed, dies of magic curse.

Hero employs lethal force, but that isn't what kills villain. Example: villain evades hero's attack and falls off cliff.

Hero deliberately employs environmental hazard to kill villain. Example: hero throws villain into live electrical wires.

Hero apparently kills villain; later developments reveal villain survived and was killed by something else. Example: hero kicks villain off cliff; post-credits bonus scene shows them getting up and walking away, then getting eaten by a bear.

I made my first print on my 3D printer. On an unrelated note, I broke my first print.

Milwaukee Road service track, Minneapolis, MN

A Gary L Powell slide shows nothing but treasures laying over in Minneapolis.

8-31-1975

Monster Researcher Eclair and the Riddle of the Sphinx.

dude today a customer brought me a birthday card and asked me "is this a girl birthday card or a unisex birthday card? I thought it was unisex but when I scanned it at the self-checkout it said girl birthday card." the birthday card was just a bunch of balloons with the text "happy birthday". and then when I was like "i dunno I think that's just the official name of the card on our system I'm sure a boy would be happy with the card" the customer was like "well if it is a girl birthday card can you tell me if this other birthday card is unisex or for girls? if the other card is unisex I'd like to exchange the girl birthday card for the unisex one". Like what. You can look at the cards. With your eyeballs. You are holding them both you can see them and decide whether or not you want the card. What the fuck are you talking about why are you asking me this

!???

"umm I hope you guys know orcs would kill you if you tried to fuck them" whaaat holy shit man orcs are typically depicted as chaotic evil savages? no waaay dude, this whole time I've been eroticizing the monstrous as a deliberate critique of the racist and ableist undertones in the classical orc archetype, when I should have simply realized that elements of popular fiction are objective absolutes that can't be reexamined or remixed through the cultural lens of the ever-shifting presentttttt

Beware!

consider this: people would want that.

people who take hot baths are practically begging to end up in a witch's stew.

one tectonic plate approaching another

“so are you a top or a bottom?”

just had to take a fucking second and close my eyes because i remembered that on the night of november 5th tumblr had convinced me, an outsider, that this was an actual gif of Castiel Supernatural being sent to mega fruit hell