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unorthodoxiguana - Shit-rant time

Well. My dash is starting to get empty because I’ve unfollowed so many people recently, so I guess I’m doing one of these?

(Also mutuals please reblog this so people see it? Thank you ily)

Reblog this if you post about:

Writing (esp. writing fantasy, memes, etc. I follow a few writing tips type blogs but would love to get some writing mutuals!)

Fantasy books in general, especially adult fantasy

The Underland Chronicles (please)

Mistborn (okay so I’m not done reading it yet but I’m WORKING ON IT and I’m chewing on these books, you might’ve noticed from My Entire Blog)

The Adventure Zone: Balance

TTRPGs

Original art! Especially fantasy OCs!

Crochet

Worldbuilding (This mostly ties into writing and TTRPGs I think, but wanted to add it anyway)

Please DON’T reblog this if you post about:

Harry Potter

MCYT

Any sort of hate speech (reclaimed slurs are fine!)

A lot of politics (occasional posts are fine, but I’m not on Tumblr to be reminded how many people want me dead, y’know?)

Shipping/fandom discourse (I’m too old for this)

Untagged gore

There is a good chance I will not follow everyone who reblogs this, as I am very picky about curating my dashboard. It’s nothing personal if I don’t follow you!

More Posts from Unorthodoxiguana and Others

7 months ago

my god

how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr


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7 months ago

think you just kissed some kind of fae spirit

kissing a girl for the first time and she turns to dust and disappears and I get really upset and call her family but no one picks up so I run outside to talk to someone who can help and there's no one, just no one, in kilometers, every car on the road is empty and there's nothing here anymore


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1 year ago

How it feels when I finally verify my email, so I can now message people back on tumblr, but now I have to participate in communication and socialisation:

How It Feels When I Finally Verify My Email, So I Can Now Message People Back On Tumblr, But Now I Have

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1 year ago

I HC that Ripred is only hard on Gregor because he see's himself in that kid. Like, Ripred is a dick to everyone, I know that, but I think he keeps on putting cold, hard facts in front of Gregor, like how he's stuck with his rager abilities, because he just wants the kid to be ready and you know, not dead. I only realized this when reading this post about Ripred and Gregor's relationship, but it makes a lot of sense. Why else would Ripred tell Gregor about his disbelief in the prophecies and no-one else? Because he doesn't want his younger, human, more innocent counterpart getting caught up in that madman's bs. Ripred even promises to protect Gregor's family in the last book, because he doesn't want him to lose them the same way he lost his.

TLDR: Ripred has a tough-love thing with Gregor, but he only does it because he want's Gregor to be strong enough to handle his Warrior responsibilities (that he never asked for.) Not because he views Gregor as a political pawn, but because he sees himself in him and wants him to be happy.

gregor and ripred GREGOR AND RIPRED!!!!!!!

obviously ripred protects gregor. not in the same way he does lizzie or even luxa, but i'd say from the moment ripred saw gregor's horrified expression when henry was about to run a sword through him, he knew gregor was special. he told twitchtip to not judge gregor like she would other humans. he speaks softly when gregor is mourning. he teaches him life-or-death echolocation. he can't even tell gregor that the kid's gonna die in the prophecy of time. the "oh, tell me you didn't" to solovet after she locks gregor away. he promises to keep gregor's family safe, from one rager to another. he sees so much of himself in that kid and it's awful. the scene in cotw where ripred talks to gregor about being a rager (right after the frogs) will forever stick out to me. just. his peptalk to gregor before the final battle. ripred cares.

and so does gregor! gregor has so much respect for ripred, the rat, what has been the enemy for nearly his entire first journey in the underland, because he notices the pain in his eyes. he tells him "fly you high" when they first part ways, which is echoed by ripred when they last see each other. just the immediate relief that gregor feels any time ripred steps in. the way gregor messes with ripred, popping bubble gum after ripred insults him, joking about the prophecy at the end of book 5 ("time is turning back!" ripred - "shut up!"). in book 4, gregor sends the questers to busy themselves so ripred doesn't have to be vulnerable in front of so many. when gregor's in trouble, it's ripred's advice ("what's your plan?") that he thinks of. the section in book 5 where they all think ripred is dead and gregor is as upset by it as he is ares, that he "maybe even loved him." gregor looks up to him. just. the mentor/protege duo ever


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1 month ago

Although already quite amazing, Kaiser Impact Magnus is still imperfect. Kaiser can also only do it with a static ball and not a moving one. And even with the static one, Loki was able to easily shut it down.

Kaiser has a lot to go.

And I’m racking my head trying to figure out how he can get stronger when his aim (love) and means (malice/restriction) do not align. Love is supposed to be freeing, and malice can never yield love.

He knows this.

Although Already Quite Amazing, Kaiser Impact Magnus Is Still Imperfect. Kaiser Can Also Only Do It With
Although Already Quite Amazing, Kaiser Impact Magnus Is Still Imperfect. Kaiser Can Also Only Do It With
Although Already Quite Amazing, Kaiser Impact Magnus Is Still Imperfect. Kaiser Can Also Only Do It With

He knows that love = freedom.

He knows this, and yet

Although Already Quite Amazing, Kaiser Impact Magnus Is Still Imperfect. Kaiser Can Also Only Do It With
Although Already Quite Amazing, Kaiser Impact Magnus Is Still Imperfect. Kaiser Can Also Only Do It With

...he rejects it.

By yearning for love while forging ahead with malice, he dooms himself to never actually reach love. And he does this on purpose, all for the sake of creating a restrictive environment where he, allegedly, is stronger.

Does it have to be like this?

Is there really no other way for him to grow while allowing love into his life?

...And is Kaiser actually stronger without love? Is restriction truly the answer?

Much to think about.


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7 months ago

So I was going over some old posts, and I had this idea. I don't know if it's correct in any sense, but I'll post it here to see if anyone thinks of anything to add:

The Bane was the Warrior that Solovet wanted Gregor to be.


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1 year ago

The amount of unrecognized talent in this fandom is fucking criminal.

I definitely don't have any talent, but still


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8 months ago

Maybe I am just overreacting. Maybe it is just British weather. But I just can't shake this feeling of doubt and concern. The weather has been getting more and more extreme each year too. Sure, I've always known it was important and dangerous, but I've never felt this way about climate change before, and it's starting to concern me.

Maybe I Am Just Overreacting. Maybe It Is Just British Weather. But I Just Can't Shake This Feeling Of

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11 months ago

Gonna hold onto this

Writing Weapons (1): Swords

Writing Weapons (1): Swords

The Thrusting Sword

Type of fight scene: entertaining, duels, non-lethal fights, non-gory deaths, swashbuckling adventure

Mostly used in: Europe, including Renaissance and Regency periods

Typical User: silm, male or female, good aerobic fitness

Main action: thrust, pierce, stab

Main motion: horizontal with the tip forward

Shape: straight, often thin, may be lightweight

Typical Injury: seeping blood, blood stains spreading

Strategy: target gaps in the armous, pierce a vital organ

Disadvantage: cannot slice through bone or armour

Examples: foil, epee, rapier, gladius

The Cleaving Sword

Type of fight scene: gritty, brutal, battles, cutting through armour

Typical user: tall brawny male with broad shulders and bulging biceps

Mostly used in: Medieval Europe

Main action: cleave, hack, chop, cut, split

Main motion: downwards

Shape: broad, straight, heavy, solid, sometime huge, sometimes need to be held in both hands, both sides sharpened

Typical Injury: severed large limbs

Strategy: hack off a leg, them decapitate; or split the skull

Disadvantage: too big to carry concealed, too heavy to carry in daily lifem too slow to draw for spontaneous action

Examples: Medieval greatsword, Scottish claymore, machete, falchion

The Slashing Sword

Type of fight scene: gritty or entertaining, executions, cavalry charge, on board a ship

Mostly used in: Asia, Middle East

Typical user: male (female is plausible), any body shape, Arab, Asian, mounted warrior, cavalryman, sailor, pirate

Main action: slash, cut, slice

Main motion: fluid, continuous, curving, eg.figure-eight

Shape: curved, often slender, extremely sharp on the outer edge

Typical Injury: severed limbs, lots of spurting blood

Strategy: first disable opponent's sword hand (cut it off or slice into tendons inside the elbow)

Disadvantage: unable to cut thorugh hard objects (e.g. metal armor)

Examples: scimitar, sabre, saif, shamshir, cutlass, katana

Blunders to Avoid:

Weapons performing what they shouldn't be able to do (e.g. a foil slashing metal armour)

Protagonists fighting with weapons for which they don't have the strength or build to handle

The hero carrying a huge sword all the time as if it's a wallet

Drawing a big sword form a sheath on the back (a physical impossiblity, unless your hero is a giant...)

Generic sword which can slash, stab, cleave, slash, block, pierce, thrust, whirl through the air, cut a few limbs, etc...as if that's plausible

adapted from <Writer's Craft> by Rayne Hall


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1 year ago

This series is canon, as far as I'm concerned

This Series Is Canon, As Far As I'm Concerned
Something I Decided To Cook Up To Celebrate The Completion Of The AHS 1 Edit (YES THE FIRST BOOK HAS

Something I decided to cook up to celebrate the completion of the AHS 1 edit (YES THE FIRST BOOK HAS BEEN OVERHAULED AND IT'S SO MUCH BETTER NOW GO REREAD IF YOU LIKED IT PLEASE!! I PROMISE IT'S WORTH IT!)

Ripred & Henry are one of my favorite dynamics to write in AHS 3 and I adore how far they've come and where they started.

That and Henry in general. This is your AHS 1 vs AHS 3 Henry comparison as well (yes, ALL the text here are actual quotes from the books.)

Honestly, Ripred should start to consider paying rent with how much he and his words of harsh but wise truth live in Henry's head 🤣


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unorthodoxiguana - Shit-rant time
Shit-rant time

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