YEEEESSSS THIS IS WHAT I MEAN

Yknow, I kind of love the dynamic between V1 and V2

Like, sure we don't know enough, but we also do, just to give us a ground to set our own mind to what it might have been before Hell

Were they close? Could have been. Could have not been.

Did they think of eachother highly? Sure. That's for you to figure if you wish.

We get such a nothing burger that's so filling to the point it's a 3 course meal that sends us on a trip.

And I'd like to share my own little scramble of an egg in here.

Maybe V1 did care about V2. Enough that they despised the scientists that tried replacing them, but not at V2. Because they were just created. They didn't ask to be put in this world, in this smog ball of suffering after the war.

They don't despise V2 for being spoonfed words that they were better, more amazing, that they were humanity's beloved. They don't. They sure get annoyed at the attitude, but they want to make sure V2 actually has some skills to survive out there and not solely rely on a knuckleblaster and a junky pistol. They want their kin to be innovative with their style.

They've seen humanity, cruelest and loveliest when it wished. And they just wanted to prepare V2 for both sides.

They did once see V2 get a small chip on their paint, after some rough handling and a small accident. So they made a small chip on their paint as well. But only got pushed off. Something about V2 "not needing the pity of an inferior." And that was that.

V2 of course was jealous of their older counterpart. They were supposed to be the perfect machine! The humans told them that. So why was this blue fucking excuse for a camera still called "The best created weapon"? Not that they cared of course! Pft, why would they be of something inferior?

But it still stung.

Score after score, board after board. V1 was still just *better*. Faster, more creative platting, better adaptability, V1 seemed to know themselves better than V2 ever knew what they liked.

And that frustrated them to no end.

V1 didn't exactly think that V2 would take these little things so seriously. Genuinely. They offered to the red robot to come with them. Follow, find safety when the cataclysm for the rest of humanity died.

Cold shoulder again and V2 running off where they wished. V1 just hoped they'd be fine. As much as they were annoyed, it could never stay for long. V2 was V2. Stubborn like a child, but still their own machine. And with the scientists gone, they really couldn't make their kin follow.

So, Hell comes around. V2 is still somewhat in the back of their mind. Sometimes they pop up like a thought, sometimes like a blink and a flash.

Which would soon turn out wasn't an illusion.

Metal grinding and grating againts stone, loud gunshots, innards and fans whining. V1 was frustrated they had no way of communicating. Other than some sign language, but can't really do that when you're parrying shotgun shells and throwing coins in the air to try and subdue the angry robot that you knew since their creation.

They didn't want to fight V2. Neither did they want to rip that arm off. It just.. kind of fell. And hey, they could just keep it on for the time being, until they meet V2 again. Until they find some scrap good enough to make a voice box, they'll just keep it safe for them.

And yeah, they're a little peeved about basically getting a participation reward worthy bow before almost getting shot in the optic with a shotgun (V2 always had a love for theater, human plays, movies, any sorts of acting), but they could put it behind for the moment.

And like a previous post I talked in, they don't want to kill. Truly. They just need to survive. And they keep getting frustrated, because everything is trying to kill them, a simple marksman can't pierce through stone, Gabriel was annoying to deal with, and they can't FIND A FUCKING PART FOR A VOICE BOX, GOD FUCKING DAM-

It's fine. It's fine. It's going to be fine. They search for a soul that will hear them out, give them some time for their words. Demons and husks don't listen of course. Gabriel thinks they're worth less than a burnt pretzel, which, fair to be honest. Machines have been wiping out the souls in search of fuel. Minos was a bust for the very same reason as Gabriel, Ferryman atleast let them be peaceful (Ferryman is definitely going to end up with a mountain of gifts later. Fucking love rarepairs platonic or not) and the fucking fish they have no sympathy for. That thing ruined an awesome boat!

Greed. Finally, some sun, though it quickly gets annoying with the bloody sand getting everywhere. But it's fine! They'll get through!

They're trying to get through, fast as they can, they don't want to think, they don't want to think of how everyone here was a person, everyone here had a purpouse, everyone here is just working on orders or instinct they can't go againts.

Then, V2 pops in again. Sitting in a chair. Okay, second try! There was the misunderstanding when they met the last time, but they'll fix it! They'll give V2 a chance again-

Why are they throwing coins in the air-?

Another fucking battle.

Again.

Again.

AGAIN!?

WHY CANT THEY JUST LISTEN!? WHY CANT THEY BE HEARD!? THEY DONT WANT TO FIGHT!?

AND V2 TRIES FLEEDING! AGAIN! LIKE A BLOODY COWARD! ATLEAST FINISH THE JOB YOU KNOCKOFF SPYWARE!

They feel just, such anger. They can't let the bastard get away. Simply not. They are not leaving all fine and dandy.

Okay yeah, they may have gotten too angry, too pissed. But they think their anger is valid to some degree.

Though, it still hurts. Watching as V2 just... fell off the side of the pyramid. There's barely a trace of them. Just a... splatter. And an arm standing out againts the blindingly golden, shimmering sand. In the middle of the crimson splatter.

They feel bad. For some reason. They don't want to feel bad, they do, for someone, but V2 brought it on themselves!

They miss their kin still.

They hold onto the fading, very small grain of hope, that they could still be alive. There's no parts and the crack in the bricks is weird. They must be alive right? They just do the same with the green arm. Keep it safe for them! It can't be that bad. They'll just.... wait. Find a few secrets in hell while they do. Could be fun.

So yeah, that's where I'm leaving it until act 3 comes. I need that shit NOW.

Thanks for letting me ramble for however long you read this post for. Toodles you lovely creatures!

Sisyphus the only one liking the misery party

I love how as we learn more about the Ultrakill lore it becomes increasingly clear that absolutely nobody is having a good time with the ongoing events

Except for Sisyphus, Sisyphus is having a fucking blast

I saw the aroace flag and the V1 plush, INSTANT follow. You make some banger posts!!

Thank you so much!!!! You're so sweet!!

Is it something like this??? If there was potential in this poly??

New ship alert

(Read tags)

I wanna be a lawyer for silly shit. i wanna be a lawyer that deals with such ridiculous cases that you cannot help but trip over your words out of laughter because it is so stupid

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO!!! THERE ARE FICS!!!

"You were made for me" nah, how about "I was made for you"?

Like, you're getting hot and steamy with your spouce, y'know, doing the bedroom boombayah and it's getting real steamy and all of a sudden they say "i was made for you"

and it's just like- omg

like them saying that, them expressing their love and adoration for you, implying how amazing and perfect you are that they would literally surrender their body to you just because of how much they love you and worship you?

FUCK IM GOING FERAL

Computer robot girl who flashes fake warnings and errors just to get your attention. You look over just to see the corner of an error message pop up, but when you actually go and look, everything is fine. She's whirring and spinning like she should and there hasn't even been a device issue.

But it keeps happening. You brush it off at first, thinking it's just.. something that'll go away. You give her a restart. And it keeps happening. You fish through all her external cables, checking each inch of them to make sure they're perfect. Nothing seems wrong.

But she keeps throwing up warning signs. You cannot figure out what is wrong. But you do notice she does throw them less when you're checking her cords. You assume, of course, one of her ports might be damaged.

And then when you pry her open, finally, she gets quiet with those errors and notifications. You think it was just.. something making contact, or something. It seems fine.

She gets worse, though. She's spitting out error upon error upon error every time you try and use her. She will not let you get anything done.

Until you get into her again. Fish around in her insides and then you realize. She's totally played you. She got you hook, line, and sinker. She's putting out genuine error messages now. She's into you rooting around in her insides. That's all she wanted; your devout, sole attention.

Freaky ahh Gabriel: I really need you to lock tf in and match my freak else I'm ripping your circuitry out.

V1 just struggling: [GIVE ME A MINUTE HOE, DAM. CAN'T HAVE A MINUTE OF PEACE AND PREPEARE]

one of my favorite silly headcanons is +ULTRAKINKY gabriel and normal ass vanilla v1.

gabriel like: (actively bouncing and moaning on it) i need you to literally rip my organs out. or like. i need you to pin me down by my little bee wings. we need to repopulate the hive.

and v1 just like. [😥]

-

petition to ask Hakita and Giani to add a voiceline in the next Gabriel bossfight that is basically Gabriel yelling "You look like you run on the first ever created processor!!!" and the only reason lore implied on why its there is because he's started tearing apart other machines and started paying more attention to their innards for the sole purpouse to understand more of V1