[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' Sweatdrops]

Cuz he wanna feel ✨FaNcY✨

can someone please tell me why Dazai is holding that joystick like a fucking wine glass 😭

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' shakes their head]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' says that they are indeed not from this world and that they do not cultivate]

*arrives with a box of tiny cakes*

...?

Are these poisoned?

I'm now in love with this headcanon (⁠♡⁠ω⁠♡⁠ ⁠)⁠ ⁠~⁠♪

Every single day I'm grateful for that time I stumbled on the SVSSS headcanon that while Bingqiu is considered highkey confusing and lowkey cringe in the demon realm, Moshang is known as the Power Couple™. They're the demonic love story. The 'It Couple'.

Just generations of demons sighing over the dramatic and bloody love story of the Northern King and his right hand man plus spymaster, yearning for one of their own filled with such glorious violence and betrayal! A classic childhood friends to lovers narrative filled with ups and downs and copious murder and gore! Love at first sight! The story of the loyal spy who rose up the ranks of the brutal Northern Court, culling his competition while providing vital intel to his liege, all the while infiltrating the most powerful cultivation sect in the world and eventually even becoming a Peak Lord! The slow burn of all slow burns! All kinds of spicy complicated power imbalances! Sexy, unexpected age gaps! Years of heavy plot! Decades of passionate courting! The pinnacle of inter-species forbidden romance! The tale of a man who swore eternal loyalty after falling violently in love at the very first meeting, calling a mere Prince His King in his desire and determination to see his beloved's ascension to the throne that was his birthright, and the Demon Prince who was unexpectedly presented with fierce loyalty in a life that had until then been rife with treachery and grabbed it with both hands and never looked back!

...and there's Junshan and the weird human he keeps around. Somewhat interesting if you're into that teacher-student thing I guess. There were very few deaths. Some bland murders. The trial arc and the self destruct thing plus corpse hoarding was interesting but overall very vanilla. Unseasoned. Not even a proper decade of drama. Kinda boring. And Junshan's half human so they're like Walmart version inter-species romance. But whatever the Emperor's into I guess. His dad was kinda weird too but at least his relationship with that human woman had some kick to it. The new generation just doesn't appreciate a long drawn out painful romance tsk tsk...

Like infinitely grateful to whoever first spawned that headcanon. Never fails to make me laugh. Honestly the most hilarious thing I've ever seen in this fandom. Hope your pillow is always cold and you never stub your toe.

Gin bunny but how does her mask work o(⁠・.・)o?

Love her 💗🌸

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' pouts]

[what do you mean don't compare to his? Well I think you're even prettier than him! ( っ`-´c)]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 200 coins]

[I just heard about the kiss and eeeeeek- it's sooo cute! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is squealing and kicking their feet like a schoolgirl]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is excitedly asking when will the wedding be]

(His face goes bright red.)

Wedding?? There will be no wedding-

This is a ✨Need✨

Kim Rok Soo as a cat (inspired by this)

KRS is a big fluffy cat, but he's skinny af. However the mf eats more than a whole battalion and still is as skinny as a malnourished stray cat so when people pick him up they're always taken aback with how light he is and always get worried. He's 100% healthy though.

Sometimes, for whatever reason, KRS need to move Hong or On again their will he'll instinctively try to pick them up by the scruff. The problem? They're to big and he's to weak to actually pick them up, so he end up dragging them around since is already to late to give up. He always frown when that happens. To a outsiders point of view it may look like a momma cat scolding her kitties, but it is hella embarrassing to KRS and afterwards he always go hide somewhere that no one can find him until he comes out himself. He'll act nonchalantly about it though.

It was Hans who brought KRS, on and Hong (he was fooled by their "pitiful kitties drenched in the rain" act) so their were supposed to be Han's cats. On and Hong ended up as "the Henituse state's cats" but KRS is clearly Cale's cat.

KRS became a bit protective of Cale, so he always hiss to or attacks people who seem like a threat to the redhead.

If Cale is having a hangover there is always medicine waiting for him. The staff didn't brought it to him. Only Ron knows that it was KRS who brought it because he saw the cat carrying it in his mouth and entering Cale's room.

In the rare occasion were Cale truly got drunk and got sick because of it KRS will keep walking between Cale's legs so Cale will keep tripping on him until Cale give up on the idea of going out to drink more.

KRS knows how to open doors and he always close them behind him when he enters a room. He uses his hind paws to do so.

KRS is really expressive when he wants to communicate. He rarely vocalize anything, he just speaks with his body. Like putting his front paws together and moving then up and down to ask for food. Or tapping someone's leg to get their attention.

Cale and On are the only ones to truly understand KRS. But Cale is the only one to actually talk with KRS and (apparently) get proper answer. When questioned about it Cale says that KRS eyes and face tells everything.

KRS is that cat with eyes of disinterest and disdain. People always says that KRS looks like he's judging them. He is.

KRS can almost always be bribed with snacks.

When Cale is sad the likes to groom KRS and play with his fur. KRS let him because he likes it and knows that Cale needs it.

KRS aways sleeps on Cale's room.

When Cale is having insomnia ou had a nightmare KRS will straight up lay on Cale's face without previous notice and start purring. For some reason it does helps Cale and he always sleep well after.

Cale became a bit emotionally dependent of KRS.

Lily discovered that KRS loves to listen to stories, so she always read at least one book to KRS everyday.

Basen once saw KRS solve a puzzle (KRS was bored) and now a lil paranoid with the cat. He loves the cat, but the cat freaks him out.

Everyone feels that KRS don't trust them. But for some reason he seems to trust Cale to some extent.

Y'all know that cats are fucking liquid right? Well, KRS is even more. Even On and Hong are weirded out by him sometimes.

Also y'all know that cats can sleep anywhere, right? Yeah, Rok Soo is even worse. He once disappeared and was only found because the roof was going to be cleaned that day. He was in the highest spot of the roof all sprawled and crooked. No one knows how he got there since it's necessary equipment to get there.

Apparently it is possible to animals to get ancient powers because KRS got the shield. It took him a long time, but he did. The glutton(and all the ancient powers for that matter) and KRS can communicate via thoughts.

KRS hissed to Choi Han the first time they meet, bit Cale's pants and tried to drag him away from Choi Han before anyone said anything. When Cale opened his mouth tho ask what was wrong with the cat KRS started to meow non stop really loud. It was the loudest he ever meowed.

KRS successfully fooled Choi Han with the "big eyed fluffy cat" trick.

After Choi Han arrived On, Hong and KRS disappeared for days. Cale and Hans flipped the entire Henituse state searching for them. They came back almost a month later. Now Cale have to take care of a annoying dumb baby dragon who absorb any kind of information like a damn sponge. On and Hong convinced the black dragon to polymorph into a cat.

When On and Hong were debating on a name to the black dragon KRS showed up with a peace of paper with the words "Raon Miru" written on it. The name was KRS's sincere wish for Raon to live a happy life, not that anyone need to know that.

KRS also showed up with a peace of paper with three names written on it when Hans was thinking of a name to give to them. When Hans read the names each cat meowed to the corresponding name. KRS uses his claws to write. He just put the tip of one os his claws in the inkwell and wrote. The calligraphy is awful, but is still legible.

KRS stole a really expensive spatial bag and since then everyone is getting looted, both friends and foes. Everyone is pissed with it because they can't catch the culprit. Cale is having a lot of fun because he is the only one who knows that it is KRS fault.

KRS just disappear from time to time for quite a long time but aways come back.

During one of the times that KRS disappeared he was brought back by a tall man with golden hair. Who asked to meet the owner. Cale went to talk with him. Apparently said golden haired man is a fucking ancient dragon and Cale's cat have more then one ancient powers despise being a completely normal cat. Cale don't know if he's laughing due to the absurdity of the situation or due to the panic because his cat is on fucking thin ice from dying.

Eruhaben explained that he meet the cat when KRS passed by his lair holding a necklace with a very peculiar ability. Both Cale and Eruhaben forced KRS to show them what he was going to do with the necklace because none of them believes that the cat is incapable of comprehending human language. KRS put the dominating water on the necklace and look at Eruhaben dead in the eyes. Let's just say that the ancient dragon is helping Cale to search for the earth ancient power so his cat won't die because "wtf is this damn cat?".

This incident remembered Cale that even if he's weird af KRS is still physically a normal cat and that Cale don't know how old he is, so he started to pay a lot more of attention to him and take better care of him. Cale even had Beacrox research about healthy cat diet and started to give KRS raw meat because is how cats are supposed to eat. KRS refuses to eat it and even steals human food that he is not supposed to eat because is bad to him, so Beacrox had to at least cook it.

One day the staff went to report to the count that tomatoes have been planted in a hidden part of the garden and that when they tried to remove it(because it was not supposed to be there) the black cat just attacked them. After a bunch of attempts the cat just straight up assaulted anyone who came too close of it. Deruth went to check it latter on and saw the cat black fluffy cat dragging a water bowl and flipping the water on the tomatoes. Next day he took Violan with him to make sure it wasn't a hallucination. It wasn't, the cat was really taking care os the tomatoes. Later on people saw the cat digging the dirt with his paws, putting seeds inside the roles and covering the holes. Slowly but surely the black cat was making a small vegetable garden and was taking good care of it (as good as a cat can, that it) and the staff started to help him out a little.

One day the news that the fire on the jungle was put out by a black cat with red eyes reached the Henituse state, Cale just silently looked at KRS with a deadpan face and decided that ignorance is a bliss and pretended that he knew nothing.

One day KRS started to pile up books about military strategies, the North and wyverns on Cale's room. He meowed until Cale picked up the books and started reading them out loud. Cale though that KRS was doing it because Lily started her sword training and was forgetting to read to the cat. KRS was actually doing it so he would be sure that Cale was actually reading the books and would start to prepare for the war since the count had already warned the whole family and was fortifying the City walls.

Speaking of it... After the plaza terror incident the crown prince woke up to a letter on his bedside table which suggested the construction of a naval base in the ubbar territory. The calligraphy was awful but legible.

One day, after another of KRS disappearances, he came back with a crying rat. Turns out the cat is a mixed blood of dwarf and beast people of the rat tribe. The black cat brought a pen, ink and a big paper and dropped it in front of the trembling man who started crying. KRS slapped him visibly annoying and keeped slapping him at each sob. It was a drunk(not really) Cale who had to explain that the cat wanted the half dwarf to do something with the gathered materials. Muller started to do the first thing that came to mind, a blueprint of a fortress, the black cat nodded and went away. Cale half sarcastically congratulated Muller and said that he was the newest Henituse employee since his father was looking for engineers and architects anyway.

Eruhaben was secretly searching about how dragons communicate through telepathy and if it was possible to apply this kind of magic on a magicless creature. He ended up creating a artifact in the form of a small pendant. He put it on KRS collar together with the pendant with the dominating water.

It's kinda weird to hear KRS voice because it sounds like a tired and emotionless mid to late thirties man.

No one other than Eruhaben, On, Hong and Raon, Ron, Beacrox and Choi Han knows that both Cale and his cat are the masterminds behind the White Thing plans being ruined. Also, everyone believes that Cale is the one with ancient powers but the only one he actually has is the one he got from his mother's grave.

Everyone aways freak out when KRS just coughs up chunks of blood because almost no one knows that he has ancients power and that he also have a restoration one. People legitimately believe the cat is dying.

No one knows it but Cale always cries in silence when everyone is asleep while cuddling with KRS when the cat goes comatose.

The crown prince always have cat snacks ready for KRS because the cat aways come by with valuable info.

Alberu once had one of the dark elves to follow KRS to find out who sent him. Is impossible to track down the cat. He just discovered who's the owner after meeting Cale again and the trashy young master was patting the cat like some villain in a cliche novel.

For some reason the GoD send a message to his church saying that cats and hawks, mainly black ones, are a sacred symbol of his. No one knows why tho...

Fredo's family heirloom works on cat KRS, so he was the one who went to Endable pretending to be Naru. Fredo never got said heirloom back because is makes KRS life's easier when needed.

After getting embrace KRS started to use something akin to a military dog ​​vest with a lot of pockets. Eruhaben enchanted the pockets with spatial distortion magic so they actually the same thing as spatial bags. Inside that one of these pockets is a brooch with the Henituse household emblem. Blood Drenched Rock is inside de said brooch. Inside other pocket is food, water, potion, a golden plaque, a tiny stuffed animal(a golden fish to be more precise), a few weapons, a bunch of sacred objects and so on.

KRS went with Cale inside the SG temple. The White Radish was inside the stuffed golden fish inside one or KRS pockets.

Everyone flipped out when they saw Cale stabbing his cat and stabbing the White Star right after inside the SG temple. The cat is 100% fine tho and refuses to be separated from Cale.

Suddenly a black hawk with red eyes appeared and is now KRS best buddy. KRS is always purring when cuddling with the black hawk.

Thanks to the White Star bullshit and the GoD who give to Cale (not really) a sacred item plus the fact that Cale is always with a black cat and a black hawk, both with red eyes, people truly believe that Cale is the messenger of the gods.

English is not my native language so there's probably a lot a grammatical errors, but I tried my best. Hope y'all like it.

@phantomfallacy

Someone should write a fanfic about this (⁠✯⁠ᴗ⁠✯⁠)

Rok Soo's ability isn't Instant AU

Instead of being able to, very briefly and painfully, fuck with time; he got an ability based on all the absolute bullshit that's happened to him.

From the childhood, to his friends dying in front of him. All the shitty rumors that sprouted up, all the shit luck, all of it. Just, all of it.

So instead of Instant, he got Lament.

Lament is a scream capable of leveling buildings, at the cost of absolutely shredding Rok Soo's throat.

As a result of that power, Rok Soo doesn't talk often, and when he does his voice is hoarse and pained. He also refuses to speak at full volume, because while he's got a handle on his power, he's paranoid that he'll slip up.

So when he transfers over to the body of Cale, people notice.

The Young Master went to bed his usual talkative self, but when he woke up?

Barely a word, and when he did speak, a whisper.

Cale barely speaks a word to Ron beyond the single syllable required. Barely bothers to acknowledge Deruth. Relies on hand-speak and notes to talk to merchants.

Deruth is going crazy trying to figure out what the hell happened to his son, Ron is very close behind him because what the hell got past him? He's Ron Fucking Molan.

Then Cale comes home with a bedraggled punk that smells like the trash the killed Ron's family, and Ron has to listen in astonishment as he says more to this jackass than he's said to Ron in a week.

Basically; Cale's power of Lament is so strong and painful that everything Cale is paranoid of letting it slip, that he's selectively mute. This causes many misunderstandings, in true Cale fashion.

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' asks if the offer for oranges is still open and that if they can have an orange?]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is looking at you]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist has a question!]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is asking, on a scale of one to ten, how gay do you think your boyfriend thinks your are.]

bold of you to assume i have a boyfriend

or that anyone willingly dates me

also—what kind of scale is this

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' says that they don't know a lot about dogs]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' still thinks you are very cute]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' would like to pat you on the head and tell you you are a good boy]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' says that you deserve some headpats for being able to deal with Incarnation 'Kim Dokja' 's suicidal tendencies]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' greets you]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' thinks you are like a big puppy]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' finds you cute]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 100 coins]

Oh! Hello!

(As he reads your message, a blush crawls up his neck. He scratches the back of his head.)

Aha, it's not funny to joke like that, Constellation Random Dyslexic Reader. I'd say those kinds of compliments should go to Jung Heewon-ssi, haha.

Thank you for the coins, though!

It would be so funny if someone wrote this from the fan's pov and we just see them going crazy with conspiracy theories about who this mystery guy could be

hmm orv au where gamer yjh fans vaguely spot kdj in the background and try to track him across social media.

they discover that he only exists on the internet across a bunch of random videos, almost ALL from famous celebrities and influencers. Everyone who knows someone can't figure out who this man is irl. But he has a nice voice and all his acquaintances seem to be some degree of obsessed with him.