I Know The Fandom Mostly Agrees That Jason Is That One Always Unemployed Sibling In The Family, But Let

🐱☕️

Only those who have seen the light know that Bruce Wayne is absolutely the type of annoying father who asks for his adult children for grandkids EVERY chance possible. This is the same man who immediately put in his two weeks notice from batman-ing the MINUTE he discovered he had a granddaughter.

Bruce, materialising in bludhaven: when are you and Barbara getting married

Dick: NO.

Bruce: *sad GRANDCHILDLESS noises*

Bruce, materialising in crime alley: when you are going to settle down with a nice girl or guy and give me a-

Jason: *starts shooting*

Bruce, materialising in the clocktower:

Babs: don’t even fucking think about it

Bruce: *dematerialises away sadly*

Finally, at the annual family dinner, Bruce: whoever is the first to bring me a grandchild will be banned from ever having to take over batman

Jason should have come back to the manor post-lazarus pit and revealed himself as Jason Todd but not told the rest of the family that he’s also Red Hood. can you imagine how fucking funny that would be.

Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.

Red Hood: oh shit really?

Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!

Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.

~

Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:

~

Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-

Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!

the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.

Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.

Roy:

Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet

Jason: this is gonna be the funniest thing we’ve ever done.

Jason: wow ur gay huh

Tim: what just because i wear flannel I’m gay now??

Dick: no that’s not

Tim: just because i like making weird voices and my own sound effects when telling a story

Dick: Tim no one thinks you’re

Tim: just because i cry when watching Queer Eye

Dick: we get it you’re not-

Tim: just because i slept with Kon like a couple times that makes me gay

Dick: you’ve made your point- wait what

Tim: just because i use hair products and can’t sit in a chair properly

Dick: no go back to that last part

More deaged Tim stuff ft deaged Dami :)).

I hc that Tim also knows Arabic and Dami didnt know that so he always says nice things to Tim in Arabic (cuz he thinks he cant understand) and one day Tim just responds in Arabic and Dami is SHOOK.

I think Damian definitely loves handling things by himself but I also think if Clark took a dig at him he’d tattle to Jon immediately. “Your Father accused me of being a bad influence.” Because what worst punishment can Clark be given then his son being mad at him? He definitely takes that shit to heart

// f slur use (non derogatory?)

Kon's jacket!! the fuckin guy ever dude

close up of these freaks also bc i love them

and here is it without its pizazz or fun

Ra’s complaining to that day’s personal bodyguard about how Damian never pays attention and wont stop fidgeting and never makes eye contact with him and he doesn’t know what to do because Talia is getting mad that he won’t bond with his own grandchild and Jason who got demoted to keeping an eye on Ra’s for the week after he killed another of Damian’s asshole tutors and got blood on his favourite rug is stood next to him like. dude your grandkid’s autistic. his special interest is animals. buy him a lizard or something. and Ra’s looks over at him with a considering gaze before going ‘maybe there was good reason for my daughter to take you in.’ and Jason has to report to Talia that evening like ‘the leader of the league of assasins is tucked into bed researching autism in children and also he says im his heir now’

HEADCANON

Bruce and the kids saving a coin for every time Dick changes lovers is my new headcanon. They all agreed that the money saved will be given to the one lover that stays more than one year with Dick.

Kori was an almost winner. Bruce liked her, and the kids also warmed up to her, altho damian took longer bc of his suspicion agaisnt aliens. She helped Dick in many ways and kept him out of too much trouble and she was caring. But that one lastes 11 months and 15 days (tim keeps count).

Then the jar kept filling and Wally arrived, but no one had hope for it, although they were best friends for a long while and still going strong after Wally came back from Speedforce.

It was tim (the one regulating everything) that announced at dinner that Dick and Wally had been dating for one year and 3 months.

Dick: why?!?!?!

Jason: *walks back with a jar full of money and gives it to wally* congrats wally!!

Dick: WHATS HAPPENING?!??

Bruce: well, dick, some years ago we decided to save money for every lover u had.

Tim: and we agreed that the money would go to the one that lasted more than one year.

Duke: we saved a lot of money for that, u kept changing lovers, jesus.

Cass: I had hope in kori.

*batfam nodding along with Cass statement*

Wally: may I ask how much money is in here?

Tim: 1000 dollars.

Wally: *looks at dick* idk if I should be jealous or worried.

Dick: please don't, okay.

Somehow Wally also saw that as a reward and a challenge that they would not break for a long time.