Ingrid Bergman In Stromboli (1950) Dir. Roberto Rossellini

Sayang, aku doakan kau baik-baik di sana ya. Nanti kita ke Pulau Sumatera sama-sama

Let’s lead with kindness, Vic

work life balance is bull*hit

Rekan kerja pernah berkata, “Kalo pengen work life balance, ya jadi pi en es aja.” 

Belum setuju karena belum merasakan posisi itu.

Namun di dunia ahensi, work life itu sulit digapai atau bahasa halusnya pekerjaan harus diterima sebagai bagian dari hidup kita.

Pernyataan di atas bukanlah sarkas dariku. Dulu ada career coach yang mengatakan hal serupa dan rekan kerjaku dari divisi lain juga sependapat.

Kalo aku mungkin bisa jadi bisa beda kasus. Temanku sedikit, aku tidak punya hobi yang memang harus dijalani setiap hari, sebenarnya valid saja sebagian besar waktu, tenaga, dan pikiranku terletak pada pekerjaan.

Di buku self-help yang kubaca kurang lebih menyatakan ini, “Jangan melabeli dirimu dengan pekerjaanmu, kamu adalah kamu.”

Lalu psikolog daringku mengatakan inti yang mirip, “Vicky adalah Vicky. Vicky memiliki beragam peran di hidupnya. Sebagai pegawai, sebagai anak, sebagai pacar, sebagai sahabat.” Singkatnya, be professional.

Subuh2 overthinking

the problem is I'm craving for men's attention... I always see myself as a whore.

Being surrounded by men makes me feel secure and...wanted

Alongside, people who do not reciprocate my feelings are more attractive than those who do otherwise.

I'm that ungrateful girl as I'm still seeking other men (or women) while I have one who is willing to accept my true self.

the issue here lies between I need external validation and i love being the center of attention

I love it when ppl say I'm pretty, a good kisser, the goddess on the sheet, a motherly figure, smart or independent. they define my self-worth. however, it comes to my subconscious mind that - sadly - I'm attempting to fit men's conventional standards. You can guess where I lead to be? yes, that pick-me-girl type

Been aware that my childhood has shaped me into what I am today and fixing is a loooooong journey. i dont make any improvement yet. it's so fckin hard to be consistent and disciplined. see? im still struggling.

in reality, I really understand the reason why I was cheating or seeking other opportunities is to find security. my birth chart said that I can grow if I have been in a stable environment. stable here means in a secure place literally - figuratively. yet, i can confirm this is 100% accurate.

how can I create this safe place on my own? everyday, i have battles to win for

how can i be independent?

how can I stand up for myself?

how can i stay loyal and be grateful for what I have now?

do I feel enough?

Random banget pagi-pagi bikin akun Google Ads sama MailChimp.

Bukan tanpa alasan sih bikin 2 hal ini. Bikin Google Ads karena pengen nyoba beriklan kos Puri Cartenz. Sementara utk MailChimp sih yha pengen iseng2 aja gitu nyobanya wkwkkwkw

Gimana kalo kita berantemnya sambil ciuman?

Aku capek dengerin ocehanmu

equilibrium

"ekwɪˈlɪbriəm/ [uncountable, singular] ​a state of balance, especially between different forces or influences.

have we reached that? or.. did we really head there?

I've invested my priceless assets: heart and mind. Something that you mocked me for being unrealistic. but im proudly say my talent is falling in love deeply, I could even win some prizes due to my holy mastery.

probably, our love languages are different, we just have another view on stability, or the most important one: how we prioritize and we merely leave it under the rug

Hari ini badanku pegal

Lemes pengen tidur

Tapi aku harus bikin Click Up

Aku overwhelmed. 

Sialan kenapa menu starbucks mahal!

Masa iya aku harus tahan sampe jam 4 sore nanti 

1919

Jadwal nontonku pukul 20:25, tapi aku ingin segera pulang dari kantor.

Aku merasa tidak enak bila harus bertemu teman-teman kerja yang sebagaian besar pria.

Selain tak cantik, aku tak pandai. Aku gemuk dan aku nggak bisa nerima candaan mereka yang kadang vulgar.

Aku tidak nyaman.

Apa jadinya kalau aku lebih kurus dan lebih pintar?

Apa jadinya kalau aku berkontribusi dengan punya bakat yg lebih?