Subuh2 Overthinking

Subuh2 overthinking

the problem is I'm craving for men's attention... I always see myself as a whore.

Being surrounded by men makes me feel secure and...wanted

Alongside, people who do not reciprocate my feelings are more attractive than those who do otherwise.

I'm that ungrateful girl as I'm still seeking other men (or women) while I have one who is willing to accept my true self.

the issue here lies between I need external validation and i love being the center of attention

I love it when ppl say I'm pretty, a good kisser, the goddess on the sheet, a motherly figure, smart or independent. they define my self-worth. however, it comes to my subconscious mind that - sadly - I'm attempting to fit men's conventional standards. You can guess where I lead to be? yes, that pick-me-girl type

Been aware that my childhood has shaped me into what I am today and fixing is a loooooong journey. i dont make any improvement yet. it's so fckin hard to be consistent and disciplined. see? im still struggling.

in reality, I really understand the reason why I was cheating or seeking other opportunities is to find security. my birth chart said that I can grow if I have been in a stable environment. stable here means in a secure place literally - figuratively. yet, i can confirm this is 100% accurate.

how can I create this safe place on my own? everyday, i have battles to win for

how can i be independent?

how can I stand up for myself?

how can i stay loyal and be grateful for what I have now?

do I feel enough?

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5 years ago
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2 years ago
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1 year ago

equilibrium

"ekwɪˈlɪbriəm/ [uncountable, singular] ​a state of balance, especially between different forces or influences.

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probably, our love languages are different, we just have another view on stability, or the most important one: how we prioritize and we merely leave it under the rug


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2 years ago

Semoga kita mencintai dengan berani

2 years ago

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8 months ago
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1 year ago

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2 years ago

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1 year ago

i need cuddle :(

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vickyhantari - 26/27
26/27

She/ her; A quiet one with loudest mind. Uttering any thoughts and recounting.

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