void-occupation

Latest Posts by void-occupation

Something Gained, Something Lost

Alastor has grown sick and tired of his constant inability to control his emotions. He resorts to some...drastic measures to regain it

Chapter 1/6 is posted, make sure you mind the tags before reading, there is self harm in this one

This is part 5 to the Therapy Pig series (yes I told you guys I'd get it out lol)

I 100% agree. UNLESS He's with people he doesn't know/doesn't trust.

Sentinal is staying with the repair crew for whatever reason and has to sleep in their base? Suddenly Bee isn't getting any sleep bc he keeps getting woken up by the smallest noises. He falls asleep on the couch in the common area and everyone else on team Prime just assumes he's going to sleep like the dead as usual, but they're all scared out of their processors when Optimus barely starts speaking and Bumblebee just wakes up like an explosion had gone off

I'm talking the full nine yards - he THROWS himself off the couch, stingers activated, eyes wide and battle mask on. He is ready to go and face a threat that doesn't exist. Everyone else is immediately concerned and (reasonably) assume he had a nightmare. Ratchet assumes it's PTSD bc "The Horrors" mean that is always Ratchet's first assumption, and he insists on doing a checkup for Bee

He doesn't find anything, and Bee doesn't know why he always wakes up like he's on the verge of death when someone else he doesn't know or like is around, but it's just something he's come to accept about himself. Ratchet is completely right assuming that it's a trauma response, but Bee just tries to keep everyone from mentioning it, not wanting to admit that there are too many options to choose from when trying to figure out what could have caused it

He definitely makes sure to only sleep in his room the rest of the time Sentinal is there

I like to think Bee either sleeps like he’s dead, or is a very light sleeper,

Like if he sleeps like a rock, I like to imagine the first time he was woken up by someone else on his team it went like those cat videos where the person nudges the cat and it slowly goes to them shaking it violently before the cat wakes up like nothing happened

Oh, definitely.

He's much more on the heavy sleeper side although he has a pretty consistent sleep schedule (with few eventual exceptions ofc). While he was a very much "a gust of wind could wake him" as a sparkling kinda guy, he defo got more comfortable sleeping soundly with Team Prime. Also he had to be like that, he was sharing quarters with Bulkhead back in bootcamp and even tho the mech doesn't snore he defo isn't quiet when he's recharging.

So yeah, Bee goes to sleep late, wakes up really early, but in those few hours he's sleeping he's near impossible to wake up (with normal methods at least).

One time he was sleeping in cuz of something dumb and Op was getting annoyed cuz Bee was needed to do something. So he went there and tried to wake him up... except Bee didn't wake up. Not even throwing off the covers did anything, he tried speaking loudly but it didn't do anything. Only when he picked Bee up he got concerned cuz why wasn't he waking up??? He ended up going to medbay with him and only after Op set him down and tried to talk to Ratchet did he wake up all confused. So yeah that's how Optimus had to learn the hard way with a slight panic that Bee is a heavy sleeper.

Tbh Prowl now understands how Bee and Bulk are able to have sleep overs, both of them are heavy sleepers and don't mind one's loud engine or sleep talking.

Reblogging this bc they've been practically invading my ask box and to show any followers who are uncertain that there's nothing wrong with reporting the blogs/delete the asks. Don't let someone scam you bc they stole a sob story from someone living through real crises

I would really like this trend of donation scammers sending anons to stop. I block them yet they still send anons. It's very annoying.

Thanks for the tag!!

These are just my most recent favorites since I can't choose between all of them

Go wild lol

I'll tag @lonely-lost-insanity , @oberveroftheinfinite , @that-hazbin , and @giggle-guru

Not me having some kinda type... Who shall I tag? I think I wanna tagggggg... @mybugsmybugsmybugs @mexicangela @lunar-years @biscuitboxpink but no pressure!! I just thought it would be fun!

I've never done something like this, but I want to give it a shot this time so we'll see where that takes me

Welcome to the Ranger Gathering, coming August 2025!

Despite how quiet this account has been this year, the Gathering is still being held! We invite you to take a look at the prompts below.

How it works:

The Ranger Gathering will run for the entire the month of August, 2025. Each day has a prompt that participants can use to inspire works about Ranger's Apprentice, The Early Years, The Royal Ranger, or Brotherband.

Check out last year’s stuff here!

If you want to participate, tag your post with #ranger gathering 2025 so we can all find it!

A few notes on the Gathering:

You do NOT have to do all the prompts, or even most of the prompts to participate in the Gathering! The most important thing is to have fun and avoid burnout. Pick whichever prompts inspire your creativity, and ignore the rest.

The Gathering is meant to show off all forms of creativity! This means art, music, writing, memes, textpost, moodboards, playlists, or whatever else you can come up with. Don't feel like you can't participate if you're not an artist or author.

This blog is going to showcase a few posts from the tag every day of the Gathering, so make sure you support the creators with reblogs and comments.

Good luck, and see you all at the Gathering!

Text Prompts:

1. Adoption

2. Whisper

3. Trickster

4. Runes

5. Cavern

6. Masked

7. Throne

8. River

9. Forge

10. Famous

11. Dance

12. Hunter

13. Fading

14. Bloom

15. Trade

16. Anguish

17. Satisfied

18. Armor

19. Feast

20. Duel

21. Melody

22. Unlock

23. Dream

24. Tool

25. Chain

26. Portrait

27. Gift

28. Release

29. Oath

30. Generations

31. Roots

God DAMMIT I'm at work rn and can't add my thoughts properly and I'm crying bc NOOOOOOO-

I'll come back and edit this later😭😭😭

Alfred felt as though it was incredibly inappropriate for a butler to accompany his young master to any sort of gala or gathering so Bruce had to get used to being by himself very quickly at a young age

Due to being left all alone when he would usually be with his parents, Bruce was put in increasingly unsafe situations over and over. Most of the time, there was no safe adult for him to feel comfortable enough telling. And if there was, how would he know they were safe?

He could tell Alfred, but what good would that do? Alfred has told him time and time again that he is his employee, nothing more and nothing less. Alfred cannot help him. Alfred cannot save him

Alfred doesn’t want to

I believe that at a very early age, due to how most of the socialites and rich people are in Gotham, Bruce had to get used to unwanted stares, touches, and advances

And he’s so pretty. He’s been so pretty ever since he was small, even with his parents alive they had to work hard to keep him safe. To keep others away. To draw a hard line in the sand for what is acceptable and what is not. But now they’re gone and he’s trying to keep himself safe. But people always want to touch, take, possess, and destroy pretty things

But all of his children are pretty too.

With all of his kids he makes sure that they’re as safe as can be, unlike how it was with him

The first time that he brings Dick to a gala, he holds the boy the entire time. Dick’s face is mostly tucking into Bruce’s suit jacket, shielding him from the flashes of the paparazzi and unwanted stares. Especially with his ‘exotic’ heritage of being Romani… it’s a recipe for disaster in Gotham

Bruce refuses to let a single person touch Dick, even socialites that he trusts. He knows how quickly someone you trust can turn on you once they realize you’re vulnerable.

He keeps Jason by his side as well. Gotham high society hates anyone who didn’t grow up rich. If he’s not by Jason’s side, he makes sure Dick is. Dick can now fend for himself, but Bruce always makes sure they’re in his line of sight.

Tim has been to these parties before, and considering how negligent his parents were… Bruce makes sure to tell Tim that he would never be mad at him for anything that happened and he is not to blame. That adults should have protected him and saved him. He tells Tim all the things he wished someone had told him when he was younger. They hug and cry about it.

He’s always so thankful that Stephanie never wanted to go to galas as mean as it makes him sound. She never had to be subjected to the cruelties of adults who had no business leering after young girls. Now that she’s older and sometimes pops in if Tim’s going, Bruce knows that they’ll protect each other.

Cass is strong and smart, but she’s also very very new to this life and more vulnerable than the rest of his kids. Bruce wishes he could give her a sense of normalcy. It’s just another thing that’s he failed at.

He knows that if push came to shove, like the rest of his children, she would not hesitate to defend herself. But there should be no shove. She shouldn’t have to. Bruce dances with her all through the night every time she decides to grace a gala with her magnificent presence. It keeps her happy, it keeps her away from harm

His youngest baby is a fire cracker, ready to take on anyone and anything that could possibly be perceived as a threat to him and his family. As much as his other babies joke that he keeps Damian nearby to stop him from stabbing people, he doesn’t want anyone to look at Damian.

Damian is barely older than he was when he returned back to Gotham high society. The only difference is that Damian now has him and all of his siblings. It’s still hard to let go, even if he knows his children are there to keep an eye on everything

Duke is very similar to Jason in more ways than one, epically since he was also born on the ‘poorer’ side of Gotham that most elites loathe unjustly. He’s seen it before, even with high standing black families. Being suddenly accused of stealing a watch or pickpocketing an expensive pearl necklace. Lives ruined simply because of the color of their skin

Nothing like that will ever happen to Duke in his presence. Bruce knows he can’t protect Duke from all the racism in the world, but man if he doesn’t want to try

Bruce has never let his family deal with his issues. He believes he’s simply not worth the trouble. So whenever he gets hit on at galas in ways that make him uncomfortable he just fakes a smile. When he feels unfamiliar hands touching him and grabbing at his body, he fakes more smiles and leans into if there are too many people watching.

Just as he’s about to make an excuse, any kind of excuse to finally get away and take a breather, Dick suddenly pops up in front of him while he feels Jason and Duke slide up behind him, pushing away the elites that had circled him

Bruce makes a soft confused sound, trying to figure out what was happening, but then Damian’s tugging on his sleeve and he already has his baby in his arms. The whirlwind that is Tim and Steph together sweep him away from the confused group of elites.

The group makes their way back over to where Cassandra is smiling expectantly, giggling softly at the confused expression on Bruce’s face.

“Dance with me?” She requested softly, knowing that Bruce would never refuse her. Bruce squeezes Damian to his chest before handing him over to Tim, which Damian surprisingly doesn’t protest

Bruce takes Cassandra’s hand and they dance around the ballroom floor with ease, over and over one of Bruce’s children came and swept him away before anyone else could get the chance

“Don’t worry, we got you Dad.” Dick smiled softly as Bruce spun him around before being passed over to Stephanie and Damian.

“I know.” Bruce chuckled, feeling so safe for the first time in a long time. “I know.”

Grimwalker Alastor AU: The Reveal

(OG post and follow up post)

Needless to say, Alastor didn't know he was a clone. Every clone's memories were altered so that they remained blissfully unaware of that fact - it made them more compliant. Any changes they had in their appearance were included in the memory alteration so that the clone believed he'd always looked like that. Every now and then, a friend might send him a questioning look or two that he didn't understand the reason for, but eventually they all assumed that it was just something to do with Hell anatomy. After all, they were pretty minor changes, and it's not like Alastor acted differently from what they could tell.

I'm stuck between two options: having the truth revealed in front of the others or having Alastor be alone when he learns he's a clone. Instead of choosing, I'm just gonna do stuff for both lol

With the others:

Somehow, everyone at this point has learned that Alastor doesn't own his soul (hotel cast everyone, not everyone everyone)

His dealer has entered the hotel or managed to get everyone in one place and she's acting super weird with Alastor while the others are unable to do anything

He finally manages to defy her despite the terror she's ingrained in him during his time with her, but instead of actually reacting or being angry, she just kind of tuts at him in disappointment

This reveal ends up going a lot like Hunter's reveal in The Owl House, except somehow more violent and horrifying because this is an adult show, not one on Disney XD

She tuts at him in disappointment and gently cups his face while looking searchingly into his eyes. Apparently, she doesn't like what she sees there because she turns away and snaps his chains into existence (ankles, wrists, and neck to really leave him helpless as he gets yanked to a kneeling position

"How characteristically disappointing. I suppose I'll just have to do better with the next clone."

Alastor freezes and his eyes go wide, but before he can even ask what she means, his chains start burning into his skin, leaving him screaming in pain as the magic she's using buries itself beneath his skin.

Everyone else is crying out to him trying to get her to stop, but no one really understands what she's doing to him other than it's hurting him and they've never heard Alastor scream like that

It's the same way she killed the other clones when they fucked up, the magic buries into him and steals his memories and powers for the next clone before essentially melting him from the inside out

Somehow everyone manages to break free and stop her before she kills Alastor, but he's pretty badly hurt when they bring him back to the hotel. The scars where the chains were are permanent, and he develops chronic nerve pain in the aftermath

He has a huge crisis about being a clone (reasonably) and barely talks to anyone for weeks

Eventually there's a happy ending, but haven't really fleshed out how they get there because I can only assume it would be a lot of heavy stuff before that point. But the happy ending does happen

2. By himself:

This direction is a lot more low key than the first way, largely because Alastor would absolutely keep it to himself once he found out, especially considering how traumatizing it is

In this version, his dealer isn't trying to kill him, but keep him in line. He does something that pissed her off, but she spent so long perfecting this clone that she refuses to kill him in a show of temper

So instead, she tells him the truth. She hasn't tried that with any of the others, so she figures that that might just be what works

She lets him view her memories, lets him see the gruesome deaths of the dozens of past clones of himself - the gruesome death that surely awaits him if he continues to defy her. Dozens of versions of himself have succumbed to this fate, and they have tried every trick and scheme and desperate attempt he could ever think of to escape her, and none of them succeeded. Not one. He is no different, so if he doesn't do what she wants, she has no qualms restarting, as he can clearly see

Once the memories are finished, Alastor realizes that he's been silently crying the whole time. When she gently cradles his face and wipes his tears away, he realizes that no matter what he does, he's never going to escape his deal

He goes back to the hotel and isolates himself for a few days before going back to trying to pretend everything is normal, but the others can tell that he's not acting like himself and try to talk to him, but he can't tell them what the actual problem is. Even if he could, he wouldn't because he can't bring himself to speak of the things that upset him in the presence of others

He's never the same after the reveal despite how hard he pretends because now he knows. He knows that he has never been the person he thought he was, and that he had always been an intruder in his own life. Everyone notices that he's different but no one can help because they have no idea what's wrong

He stops fighting his dealer, just as she wished

For now, at least. Who knows, maybe there's a possible happy end for this route too

I wanted to asked about the grimwalker!Alastor idea because I have an idea for names(if you don't have one already)

Daemonium+sosia=Sosiamonium

Malum+Sosia=Sosiamalum

Basically Sosiamonium is the combination of Deamonium(Latin for demon) and Sosia (Doppelganger in Latin),this is basically what they use in books.

Malum(Evil in Latin) and Sosia is Sosiamalum,which is a bit of a shorter version and is generally what is usually user when referring to it.

Alastor specifically is a Umbra-tenebris,which is clone made from the original persons shadow.(I imagine that there are ones made from bone,ash,blood,saliva,ect)

Umbra means shadow in Latin and Tenebris is dark in Latin,it means dark shadow or that's at least my understanding of it.

His shadow knows very little about what happened,but all they do know is that Alastor must be careful ,it's basically Alexendre getting this feeling that something's not right but they don't know what.

There were A LOT of other clones,but I still don't know if a way for them to figure it out other that Lucifer's assholeyness

Also I imagine that there are small differences,like the original might have liked to read more ,whereas the one we have now likes reading but enjoys drawing more.

But please tell me what you think!😄

For those who haven't seen it, this is the original post

YES I love the idea that Alastor is cloned from the original shadow, especially if his deal with whoever owns his soul in this AU gave him his shadow powers in the first place

I've had time to think on this AU, and I feel like whoever owns Alastor's soul in this one (assuming we're still going on the lines of it being Roo or Lilith) sees him as hers and as such views each "betrayal" (realizing that she's crazy and trying to escape her) as a personal failure on both their ends. In a really fucked up way, she sees Alastor as her son almost (especially if one of his parents was the one to sell his soul), so every time she sees a difference between the old Alastor and the current clone, it angers and hurts her. Since Alastor has every memory except the ones of his previous clone's deaths and attempts to escape, he just thinks that his hobbies and interests are changing naturally with time, but his contractor knows the truth

She kind of tries to pressure him into liking the same things the original Alastor liked, and he doesn't really think much of it since everything else that is done to him is so awful. It's also the reason that his contractor likes the current Alastor clone so much - he looks the closest to the original and he has the most similar interests, so she's determined to keep him for as long as possible (hence the 7 years spent "conditioning" him)

Since you brought this back up, I'm now legally obligated to do a separate post about the reveal lol. You did this - you've awakened the BEAST

a few things with this

Not quite to the prompt, but imagine Horace is trying to alley-oop Halt over a wall or something and just....severely overestimates how much strength he needs to move this 5'3" wiry man and fucking LAUNCHES him into the air. Literally the most undignified scream anyone's ever heard from Halt as he suddenly know what it's like to be a bird. He's so lucky he managed to catch himself on the top of the wall bc he would have faceplanted directly into the ground on the other side. He still hasn't forgiven Horace and has banned him from ever speaking of it again

While he may not be the most delicate with injuries, if he's around, Halt is the first person Horace will go to if he's hurt, especially for stitches. Despite Halt's unintentionally rough treatment of bruises, he's actually surprisingly gentle when giving people stitches

When they were travelling together after Halt's banishment, Horace had to make sure Halt would eat. Halt was practically drowning in guilt and self-loathing at the time, though he tried to hide it bc he didn't want to make himself a burden on Horace. Unfortunately it manifested as Halt having little to no appetite for a good while after they first left Araluen, and once he noticed it Horace would subtly make him eat by refusing to start his meal until Halt had had the first bite

Halt also helped Horace practice with his sword when they first started travelling (before the Gallican knights anyways). At the time, Horace just figured Halt knew his way around a sword bc he'd had Gilan as an apprentice, but once he and Will learned a bit about Halt's past he connected the dots

Halt will poke fun at how much Horace eats, but also makes a genuine effort to ensure that he doesn't go hungry. He'll joke about Horace asking for seconds, but also subtly make his plate if you know what I mean

He also taught Horace the benefits of being a sarcastic little shit, only to immediately regret it when Horace inevitably betrayed him with it

One time Halt sprained his ankle really badly and absolutely refused to acknowledge it (bc he's Halt "Everyone Can Have Problems Except For Me Because It Would Make Me a Burden" O'Carrick) and Will just sent Horace a Look and Horace Immediately nodded and scooped Halt up bridal style to take him to the nearest infirmary while casually ignoring the violent death threats he's receiving

After book 8 when Will went ahead of them, Horace was trying his best to subtly make sure that Halt was okay. I mean, realizing that you're the last surviving member of your family besides a nephew you've met once would hurt, even if your family sucked like Halt's did. Horace wasn't very subtle and Halt noticed pretty much immediately, but he secretly appreciated the sentiment

There's more but I just can't think of them rn. I love them so much and I genuinely don't think their relationship earns enough attention

I need to see shit of Halt and Horace taking care of each other.

Or really just any content with those two. I love their relationship and their dynamic so much my two boys.

Oh my GOD-

Scuttles, Alastor's antler crab lmao

Alastor does something to piss Scuttles off and he either just pulls Al's hair/pokes his scalp with his sharp little legs, or straight up abandons ship (as seen above - this happens about twice a week, it's just usually in Alastor's room)

(had to repost because i'm an idiot)

soooooouh, this happened the other day 😂

everything started from a conversation between me and @supdudes95 having hard times getting decent references of Alastor from the serie, then she had a fever vivid dream and THIS was born

I listened to Crab Rave on loop while doing this, i cant-

Continuing from that ask about Lucifer and Alastor's mom, do you think Lucifer even registers that he's gotten himself on everybody's shit list? Or is he oblivious to everyone except his daughter?

Honestly, when combined with his depression, his general disregard of sinners, and whatever else is going on in that head of his, I highly doubt it. He'd notice Charlie and maybe Vaggie - if only because he wants to get closer to her to get closer to Charlie, but his general opinion of sinners is so low that he just assumes the way they're glaring at him is just how they naturally are. I mean, in ep 5 he was giving Charlie an 'I told you so' speech where he said verbatim, "[...] Sinners are violent psychopaths who are hell bent on causing as much pain an destruction as they can." He literally sees them as nothing more than monsters who can't feel or do anything that isn't negative, despite the fact that everyone in the hotel he'd been introduced to besides Alastor had been relatively kind to him up to that point. They literally made cookies for his arrival and he didn't do anything but cringe in mild disgust

So I think that it's pretty safe to say that no, he didn't notice their anger at him

(Again, here's the original post and here's the follow up that prompted this ask, and here's the OP for the first post @that-hazbin )

You know that one post about how his mom doesn't love him?

If the hotel ever finds out what Lucifer said to Ali-corn's mama,what do you think their reactions would be?Like if they found out (by angsty means) that Luci had gone and shit-talk thinking that Al wasn't listening (which is still bad!) ,what would they think about it and him? Because right now I'm thinking resting bitch faces targeted straight at the king ,while Alastor is two seconds from one of the most terrific mental breakdowns since Vox.

I'm asking because you have made me think about that interaction non-stop and now I'm just waiting for your response because I'm genuinely in-fucking-vested.

(I cower in fear as you twiddle your fingers)

Alright, so this is the post that anon is referring to for those of you who have absolutely no idea what's happening (ofc @that-hazbin for the inspiration/original post). My response for this is DETAILED, so we're taking it below the cut one character at a time

Charlie - Charlie loves Alastor despite how shifty he can be, and cannot STAND for it when people hurt those she loves, so hearing what he dad said about him felt like a punch in the gut. She knew he and Alastor didn't get along, but this is entirely too far. She always tries her best to keep from getting angry at anyone, but she positively loses her shit once she hears about what he said. It's even worse if she finds out that Alastor heard everything, and his response was to smile and make everyone dinner with a recipe his mother loved. She cries to Vaggie about how unfair it all is that Alastor was unloved for things that happened before he was even born, and that her dad would be so cruel as to say he wasn't worthy of love anyways. Even when he apologizes, Charlie can't help but add the whole incident to the mental tally she has of every time Lucifer has hurt her, even though she knows that it isn't about her. Alastor should be the one who is upset, but he just...isn't. He doesn't show that he's bothered at all, and that's honestly worse than if he'd gone into a rage, or screamed and cried about it because that just means that he's used to it

Vaggie - Vaggie usually doesn't give a shit about Alastor besides the fact that Charlie cares about him, he's part of the hotel, and he has the potential to be a threat. However, hearing what Lucifer and Alastor's supposedly "incredible" mother were saying was...jarring. It was honestly shocking how quickly she became defensive over Alastor considering how little they usually got along. She didn't say anything to his face (bc that's potentially her future father in law and the KING OF HELL), but she immediately became much more short with him, heading off any of his attempts to speak with her and remaining stiffly formal despite his insistence otherwise. Of course, it's not too hard to maintain icy formality with someone who can't even bother to remember her name despite the fact they live together and that she's dating his daughter. And if she manages to interrupt Alastor and Lucifer's arguments before Lucifer can start truly cutting with his words, that's no one's business but her own

Nifty - Thanks to her lobotomy in life, it's sometimes hard for Nifty to keep up with what's going on in the world around her - especially when it's something emotionally based rather than physical. But that doesn't mean she's dumb. And she'd known Alastor pretty much the entire time she's been in Hell. 70ish years is definitely long enough to pick up on Alastor's tells. Unlike almost everyone else, when Nifty sees him at dinner after he overheard Lucifer and his mother, she immediately knows that he's deeply upset and hurt by something. She'd already realized that Alastor's mother didn't love him, and that Alastor was steadfastly ignoring that fact and loving her twice as much in return. All it took was some alone time with Alastor once he'd had a few drinks, and she knew exactly what he'd overheard. No one in the hotel besides Alastor and Husk had ever seen Nifty truly angry before, but they quickly realized just how unsettling it could be when she go to that point. Being angry made her surprisingly lucid, and she didn't act as everyone had become used to. Instead of delivering frightening threats, she ignored Lucifer and plotted, and glared out of the corner of her eye, her expression sparking with a protective sort of rage. Alastor was hers, and anyone who hurt what was hers was a pest waiting to be swatted like a bothersome fly. At the same time, she made sure to shower Alastor in affection in the only ways she knew how: bug crowns, drawings, little things she found that made her think of him. If she curled up against his chest or comfortingly pet his ears while he tried to go to sleep, well it wasn't as if Alastor was going to tell anyone - and he hadn't pushed her away either

Husk - Husk and Alastor had a...complicated relationship. Alastor saw his thrall as a great source of entertainment as long as he didn't broach certain topics, and Husk resented having his soul owned, but didn't hate Alastor himself. He'd seen a lot of fucked up shit while he was alive, so he doesn't blame Alastor's mother for not loving him - but he doesn't blame Alastor for it either. Lucifer on the other hand had no right to comment on the issue the way he had. Not only did it make Alastor's mother feel worse, but Alastor managed to overhear, and reacted accordingly - by trying to make himself as little of a burden to his mother as possible. He'd talked at dinner, but he hadn't truly spoken, only saying anything to make his mother feel less awkward. Husk already hadn't liked Lucifer - Charlie's rampant daddy issues spoke for him well enough, but Lucifer hadn't really done anything to endear himself to the hotel residents since his arrival. He still proudly displayed his general disgust of sinners as a whole, and one couldn't help but be offended at the treatment. However, he couldn't exactly confront the king on that whole mess, and Alastor would probably eat him for daring to fight his battles for him, so Husk instead settled for being a listening set of ears and having Alastor's favorite bottle of rye at the ready on the days Husk could tell he was really struggling

Angel - Angel's always protected his friends from people more powerful than himself, so you better believe he immediately confronted Lucifer on the shit he said about Alastor the minute he heard about it. He and Alastor may not have been super close, but they bonded over their shared hatred of the Vees, and had been slowly getting closer as friends. Plus, Alastor (like Vaggie) was someone who was always guaranteed to never want Angel for his body, which was a nice change of pace. Alastor wasn't exactly happy with Angel stepping in on his behalf, but Angel was quick to shut any protests down by saying that he shouldn't have to defend himself from people (especially people who had been around since before time started and should really be more mature by now) picking at his family's personal (and incredibly painful) issues. Just like Husk, Angel wasn't exactly endeared to the king anyways with the way he openly disregarded them all in their first meeting without even talking to them

Overall, everyone got a lot more defensive of Alastor then anyone (especially Alastor who assumed that Lucifer's claim was accurate) would have expected. And it will take some serious grovelling for them to even consider letting Lucifer off the hook for saying something so fucked up about an already fucked up situation. But then again, he is the sin of pride, so that makes it a lot less likely that he'll even get around to admitting he's wrong in the first place

I saw those tickle hcs for Alastor and…Could you do Lucifer ones too? I love how ler you make him in your works, he’s precioussssss

Luci is one of my absolute favorite lers for Alastor because he's one of the only people who can genuinely overpower that deer twink, so yes, I will do some headcanons for you <3

This man is an absolute MENACE to society as a ler

He's primarily ler, though he's not apposed to being gotten back - he just absolutely refuses to let someone get him back. They have to earn it (cough cough looking at you Alastor cough cough)

His teases are absolutely evil because his favorite way to tease is whatever method makes his victims blush and stutter the most

His favorite spot to tickle also just so happens to be whatever his victim's most sensitive spot is, because he's mean like that

His favorite targets are Charlie and Alastor - Charlie because he loves making her smile, and Alastor because he loves bringing him down a peg and making the big bad Radio Demon a flustered hysterical mess

Whoever his target is changes how evil he is. If he's tickling Charlie, he'll keep the teasing toned down to mildly embarrassing and avoid completely wrecking her because he doesn't want to be too mean. Alastor on the other hand....let's just say if he isn't crying with laughter and begging for mercy by the end of it, it probably wasn't Lucifer

He's also started to tickle Vaggie more, though he's still hesitant because he doesn't want to cross her boundaries

Wings wings wings

Angelic feathers tickle WAY MORE than regular feathers, and Lucifer has 3 pairs of wings to attack people with. He's left Alastor squealing on multiple occasions by just using his wings

He likes playing games with whoever he's tickling, and saying stupid little nursery rhymes (ex: 3 little piggies, anticipation games, etc.)

This man gives the absolute WORST raspberries. He had a lot of practice when Charlie was little (which was a lot longer than most humans are little for lol) and he made up all sorts of excuses about needing to practice to get his skills back once he got to the hotel. Necks, sides, bellies, and backs are all primary spots for raspberries

Likes to let his victims flail a bit - it makes it funnier for him when they try to escape despite knowing they won't be able to

Charlie inherited her violent escape attempts from him - they both buck and thrash like there's no tomorrow whenever they're tickled

That's another reason why Alastor is such a fascinating target for him. Alastor's instinct it to curl up and take it. He'll squirm, but he won't fight, and Lucifer thinks it's one of the cutest things ever. Also, he loves the way Alastor just kicks at the air - never actually aiming for anything, just trying to get his energy out

He's always been huge on giving people cheer-up tickles, and never really considered punishment tickles until Alastor started violently bratting in his general direction, which Lucifer of course took as a direct challenge

hey, is the same anon who asked about the playful punishments series! that’s not selfish at all, don’t worry! i also write, so i completely understand lol i don’t love writing characters who aren’t my favorites either. completely valid!!

thank you so much for the headcanons!! 💜

Thank you, love you, you're literally so sweet😭🥺

Me, looking at you in my inbox:

hey there!! i’m currently rereading part 2 of your playful punishment series on ao3, and i got to this line:

“This was an affront to his reputation as the Radio Demon, and there would be consequences upon his escape! Not just for Lucifer, but for everyone else laughing at his predicament as well. Alastor would be the one having the final laugh today!”

i was wondering if you’d be willing to write about Alastor’s revenge! obviously the revenge against lucifer didn’t go as planned in part three LOL but how would he fare against the other residents?

i love your writing!! be it tickles or angst, i love the fics you post. thank you so much for sharing your gift with us! i always look forward to seeing what you’ll post next 💜 take care!!

this might seem a bit selfish, but I don't really enjoy reading/writing about characters who aren't my favorites 😅. When I try it becomes less of a hobby and more of a chore, so I just don't. However, since you're so polite and very sweet, I will give you some tickle related headcanons for this

Alastor is a very lee-leaning switch. We're talking 90% lee, 10% ler. If he's planning to tickle someone, you can almost guarantee that his secret goal is to get them to get him back

HOWEVER, he's never been one to do anything half-baked, so when he tickles someone, he is brutal and merciless - a "go until I get tired or they safeword" kind of guy

Anyone less powerful than him would never stand a chance if he decides to go for them, and he's not against using his tentacles and shadows to help him get multiple spots at once

He will at least attempt to get anyone more powerful than him, though it doesn't usually end in his favor. Alastor usually tries to wreck them as much as possible while he can in the hopes of exhausting them enough to give himself a head start

He's huge on anticipation. The more nervous and jumpy he can get his target, the better

He'll start off light to catch his victim off guard before gradually getting worse and worse until they're begging for mercy

He loves using things on others that would fluster him because he knows how to make it the most flustering thing ever from sheer experience on the victim's end

He knows that his claws are absolutely lethal on ticklish spots, and he makes sure that whoever he's managed to capture knows too

Very teasy, but in a casual way. He won't baby talk you, but he will talk about how, "Oh dear, how are you ever going to get out of this?" or "Hmm, that was an interesting reaction - lets do that again," etc.

He's also very methodical - working through every technique on every spot to see what works best where

Loves to act like he's doing a broadcast while tickling someone just to see their faces turn red while he addresses an imaginary audience

His personal favorite targets are Charlie, Husk, and making semi-successful attempts at Lucifer. He also loves getting Rosie (who isn't super ticklish, but just enough to catch her off guard and get some giggles in certain spots) and used to like getting Vox when they were still friends

If he can sneak up on her, he'll randomly squeeze Vaggie's sides to see her jump and temporarily tickle the frown off her face

If Angel is sitting next to him and starts flirting too much, he will mercilessly start squeezing the spot above his knee and leave the taller sinner a flailing hysterical mess

The one time he tried to get Nifty, he learned the hard way that no, she's actually not ticklish and is merciless when provoked - he still fears her to this day

If Charlie starts clinging to him too much, he'll wriggle his fingers under her arms until she squeals and lets go to escape

Husk has always been a fun target for him because not only does it get him to lighten up for once, but his thrall simply has the most entertaining reactions

Alastor and Vox used to have legendary tickle fights (that Alastor would let Vox eventually win) because they both knew each other's worst spots, and had powers to help them wreck each other (Alastor with his shadows, and Vox's electricity)

These are all I have for now, hope you still enjoyed them even if I don't plan to write a fic for it lol

Sharing Alastor Headcanons

@lonely-lost-insanity (you should go check out her blog) and I were sharing headcanons about our mutual favorite babygirl piece of shit and I decided to post mine here

we borrowed @head---ache 's character ask game for inspiration on this one, so bare with me here. (also if you like Sonic, you should check them out too)

🏳️‍🌈 A sexuality headcanon: Asexual and completely sex repulsed, mostly because both the fluids involved, and other people's genitals completely repulse him. He also deals with feelings of severe shame any time he gets aroused, but that's more of a gender identity crisis than anything

🏳️‍⚧️ A gender headcanon: Though he's primarily masculine presenting, Alastor is actually genderfluid, though he only learned about it recently. Angel is the one who caught on and talked to him about it, and currently the only one who knows since Alastor isn't confident enough about it to tell anyone else

😇 A headcanon about their religion/lack thereof: His maternal grandmother was a slave who was originally from Haiti, so he grew up following the practices of Hatian Vodou. He was actually training to become a Oungan (similar to a priest for those unfamiliar) before his mother died and he got shipped off for the Great War

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood: He used to have a little hand-sewn frog plush that he cared for for years until his dad burned it in a fit of rage. Alastor never forgave him for that because it was a gift from his grandmother

👻 A headcanon about what scares them: He has a phobia of dogs from his death, but he's also scared of heights and confined spaces, and thunder gives him flashbacks to mortar fire

🎶 A headcanon about music: He has listened to and enjoys a lot of modern music, but only plays it when he thinks he's alone - Vaggie was Shook to find him rocking out to Insane Clown Posse while making breakfast one morning

👽 A headcanon about a weird quirk of there: Alastor is actually weirdly good with guns after his time in the military - they're one of the things he makes sure he's always up to date on just in case of an emergency. He can take one apart and put it back together while telling you the caliber it shoots and the brand it is. He also owns a surprising number of them, and usually keeps at least one on his person at all times

💤 A headcanon about their sleep: He has the worst insomnia, but likes to pretend that he just doesn't need sleep to seem mysterious. When it gets really bad, he'll just drink until he either blacks out or temporarily dies of alcohol poisoning. He says it's the same thing as sleeping. It's not

🦾 A disability headcanon: He had a serious hip injury when he was a kid that never healed right, and while he was in combat, the knee on the same side was severely injured. It doesn't bother him too often now, but the cane he always has isn't for show - he keeps it on him to store part of his power, and to have on-hand in case his injuries flare up (which, rather inconveniently, starts happening more after his fight with Adam - when he no longer has a cane)

💝 A headcanon about their love language: His love language is primarily touch which both makes his touch aversion easier and harder to navigate. If he likes you, he can usually get comfortable enough to express his love language, but on his bad days, he just has to go without his primary form of comfort because it would make everything worse

🫂 A friendship headcanon: Alastor and Vaggie can actually get along quite well when they put their minds to it - they're both down to earth and naturally pessimistic (though Alastor hides it better), both love spicy food, and lived surprisingly similar lives (not super similar, but moreso than they'd thought). Alastor becomes okay with Vaggie's touch faster than he did with Husk when they'd first become friends

💔 An angsty headcanon: Despite her best efforts, Alastor's mother didn't actually love him. Alastor was the result of a rape, and after he was born, she repeatedly debated smothering him - all the way until she died. Alastor knew deep down, but she still cared about him and showed him affection on her good days which is more than his father ever did, so Alastor always figured that he could just love enough for the both of them

🪢 A headcanon about their family: Alastor;s grandmother was actually the one to begin teaching Alastor about Vodou since she was a Mambo (female priest for those unfamiliar), but she died when he was 6 so he started learning from his mom and an older woman a few blocks away

📓 A headcanon about their hobbies: He actually really enjoys drawing and has countless sketchbooks with everything from ideas for furbies (straight up furby ocs lol) to landscapes to random doodles, to portraits. If anyone ever picked up one of his sketchbooks and looked through it, he would immediately die of pure embarrassment. The only things he wants people seeing are the things he shows them

👗 A headcanon about their clothes: He much prefers dresses and skirts (if wearing shorts or boxers underneath) to pants because he likes the way they move, look, and feel, but since he isn't confident in his gender identity yet, he refuses to wear them

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence: He's actually really good at hand-to-hand combat because of his time in the military, and he only improved once he went to Hell and fought all the overlords at the time. If he and Vaggie were to spar, it would be pretty close, but he could most likely beat her

🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes: Sometimes, Alastor wishes that he didn't have such a hard time with being touched - he can still remember the times his mother would go to touch him lovingly and he'd shy away from her, and he knows he can never go back and change it

🥇 A headcanon about what they’re best at: Overall, his greatest skill is his ability to read people. It stems from his traumatic ass life when reading people's mood had the potential to save him from getting a beating. Now it's saved his skin on multiple occasions - from interactions with his owner to spats with Vox or other beings more powerful than himself, he knows how to talk people into revealing their plans without them ever realizing they'd done so. It's also a skill that's gotten him in plenty of trouble, but for the most part it's saved his ass

🍫 A headcanon about food: He does like some sweets, but he can only have them in moderation - except for any coffee-based dessert. He would KILL for a whole tray of tiramisu

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about: His relationship with his father. He always claims that he's always hated his father, but deep down there's a part of him that wishes he'd gotten his approval/love, and missed the father he'd have once in a blue moon when the man was in a pleasant enough mood to deal with his son

❤️‍🔥 A romantic headcanon: While he personally has no wish to have a romantic relationship, he's a sucker for reading about the sweet ones who will always go back for each other

💄 An appearance headcanon: He has fawn spots all over his back and shoulders, and it's symbolic of the fact that a large part of him died the day his mother did - when he was just a child

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger: Alastor doesn't like lashing out at people when he's angry because it makes him feel like his father. The problem is that he has a pretty short fuse naturally, so he usually just buries his claws into his palm until he bleeds to try and calm down. If he can feel an explosion coming on, he'll go to his room, lock the door and put up a sound muffling ward before destroying his furniture in a fit of rage. when he calms down, he fixes everything with magic and apologizes to the picture of his mother he keeps on his mantle before going back to what he was doing before

😺 An animal related headcanon: Surprisingly enough, dogs actually really like him which is unfortunate because of his hatred (read: phobia) of them. They'll go up to him begging for affection and he immediately starts having trauma flashbacks to his death

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done: If you asked him, he would say that it was the fact he helped his father bury his mother's body after he murdered her, but Alastor had no choice in the matter since he was so little and the only other option would have been to die with her

😭 A headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them: He faced different types of torture for the entire 7 years he was gone. Sexual, physical, mental, emotional, you name it, Alastor probably experienced it. Then he was just shoved back into the world and told to get to work, so he still hasn't dealt with anything

😶 A random headcanon: He's a surprisingly great runner. Like yk those videos of track relay races where one person is easily catching up to everyone else after their team was falling behind? Yeah, that's basically Alastor. And he only got better at it after going to Hell and getting deer legs - which are made for running. He's got really good form too, to the point where you'd think he did track or something but nope - entirely self taught

At first he thought that maybe it was just a prank or an outing Charlie had forgotten to tell him about, but after he discovers he can't even call Husk or Nifty to his side, that's when he starts panicking because he knows that they're Gone. He practically searches every room, tearing the hotel apart for even the slightest hint of what happened to them, and he just becomes more frantic the longer he goes with no leads until he finally collapses in the lobby on the couch and has a proper panic attack. The others try to calm hims down, especially once he starts pulling at his own hair and gouging his arms with his claws, but - obviously - they can't help very much and just have to watch him fall apart.

There's a brief moment where he wonders of they've all just abandoned him, but he dismisses that thought because he knows Charlie would never leave behind the hotel she worked so hard on (the others are struck with the realization that Alastor truly believes that they would abandon him, and Charlie's love of the hotel - the building is the only thing that would keep them from leaving him behind)

Alastor is absolutely consumed with trying to find them - he doesn't take care of himself regularly, he barely sleeps, barely eats, only visits people or does his radio show if it's to help him look for them. He just can't stand the idea of losing anyone else he's grown to care about, so even if everyone else thinks they're dead, Alastor just refuses to believe it. Part of it is the fear of loss and ending up alone once more, but there's a deeper part too.

He knows exactly what it's like to disappear and either have everyone give up too soon or simply not look for them in the first place (both during his 7 year absence and after the battle with Heaven), and he refuses to do the same. He ends up becoming terrified that his contract holder might have done something to them, and reaches out to them

Ironically enough, this is how the others find out that Alastor doesn't own his soul - he's so desperate to find any lead that he'll confront the one he's most afraid of to do it.

In the end, when they eventually manage to find a way to undo the spell, Alastor tries desperately to act unaffected, but after a few denials that he even noticed they were gone, he bursts into tears because he was so terrified that they might be gone forever

And there's definitely going to be a lot of Talks after everything is over and done with because holy FUCK Alastor actually needs some serious therapy and reassurance that the people around him will actually not leave him for whatever reason he's cooked up in his head, and ALSO what the FUCK what do you MEAN that someone owns your soul and held you captive for 7 years??????? Overall there's just A Lot of things that need to be discussed in the aftermath of this shitshow

Been thinking about a fic idea where Charlie botches a spell during a hotel redemption activity, where Alastor is the only one not present for. Lucifer was trying to coach her through the spell, but got distracted because he noticed there was a fucking drone outside the window pointed directly at them.

As far as the drone picks up, one second all the hotel members are there. The next second, they're gone. Vanished.

To the hotel members, they don't notice anything out of the ordinary at first at all. They're still in the hotel, and they can see each other just fine. It's a bit confusing when the drone just... promptly gives up and flies away. But they all figure Lucifer catching it just scared TV face away. So, no big deal.

Then Alastor comes back. Charlie greets him, but he seemingly ignores her. Lucifer, pissed by this attitude, tries to grab him— only for his hand to go right through Alastor's shoulder.

Realization immediately sets in.

They've become ghosts.

Obviously, ghosts don't exist, but this newly discovered spell (Lucifer is definitely trying to reword the situation to make Charlie feel better here) basically gives the properties of the stereotypical ghost.

They can't be seen. They can't interact with the world around them. The only person of their ragtag group who remained untouched by the spell was the singular person who wasn't there— Alastor.

There's more rules to the spell apparently, which they figure out quickly. For one, they are anchored to the hotel. At first, they thought that they couldn't go through walls when Lucifer tried to walk through one to the outside, but it turns out that they CAN walk through walls. They're just blocked from going out of bounds.

The last thing they figure out about the spell is that there doesn't seem to be a time limit. Which, obviously, is very bad. Usually, temporary spells with similar effects only last a couple of hours, but when everyone wakes up the next morning still incapable of grabbing a simple door handle, it becomes evident that they've gotten into a bigger mess than previously thought.

And then, Alastor realizes that everyone is "missing."

And he freaks the fuck out.

Yelling their names, breaking down doors, having straight up panic attacks. And the hotel inhabitants are watching it all happen, unable to say or do anything while Alastor begins physically harming himself, ripping out his hair and gouging deep marks through his skin with his claws.

They already felt pressured to figure out how to undo the spell, but now the pressure is worse because if they don't figure this shit out soon, Alastor may actually permanently hurt himself at the rate he's going.

(A few individuals, meanwhile, are hit with the realization that Alastor may actually care for them. More than he was ever willing to show.)

This???? 100% yes. (and definitely not because these are some of the stims I have shut up I'm not projecting-) and of course, as I am wont to do, I'm going to add to this

Accidentally reveals his knowledge of the internet by saying "Open na noor!!" every time a door is locked with someone on the other side

if there's NOT someone on the other side, he will dramatically pull on the door while screaming "Let me in! Let me IIINNNNN!", further exposing himself for being online

Will randomly say "You dumb whore" in the thickest possible country accent when dealing with inanimate objects

Clicks his teeth together loudly whenever it's been a little too quiet for a little too long

Automatic deadpan "Ow," every time he drops an object

A long pause followed by "I'm setting myself on FIRE," at the slightest inconvenience

Letting out really high pitched "hhhhhh" whenever he's stressed, but only if he's not in a situation where he needs to control his reactions

Randomly grumbling radio static from behind closed lips

Letting out quick little huffs of air whenever someone goes to ask him a question, to the point that he almost sounds irritated, but it's honestly just a habit

May or may not have been exposed to an episode or two of Smiling Friends, and constantly quotes Allen, but particularly "Thank god, finally. What the fuck?" in a surprisingly accurate imitation. No one knows why he quotes it because he'll do it completely at random

However, he will say "I'm tired of running errands for this happily married couple," (again, surprisingly good impression) whenever Charlie or Vaggie asks him to do something for them, but only when he's around Husk or Angel for some reason

In the middle of the night he'll just SCREAM the whole scene from Shrek about the muffin man, but a lot of the time no one will actually hear anything until they randomly hear him SCREECH "tHe MuFfIn MaN!!!!!!" at 2 in the morning. He has not seen Shrek. He honestly doesn't even know what it is, he just heard it a couple times from the kids in Cannibal Town and now has it irreversibly stuck in his brain

Automatically mocks Angel whenever he starts whining about something out of pure instinct

"Thanks, I hate it." All the time.

"Mother, I Hunger," in a frighteningly deep voice while he is cooking

He has somehow come across the Miette meme, and will constantly quote it, replacing "mother" with the name of whoever has slighted him. He'll have huge eyes, high pitched Victorian-child esque voice, pinned back ears, The Works

Thank you for listening to my TedTalk, Autistic Alastor has my whole heart

Vocal stims i think that Alastor probably has:

-Making trumpet sounds and parading around the kitchen

-Making god-awful elk sounds whenever a storm blows the lights out

-Fake sobbing without contorting his face whenever the room gets a little too quiet

-Unironically singing 2011 songs outside of the bathroom door where Lucifer is in and gradually getting louder the longer he's in there

-Screaming. Just screaming.

-Barking or meowing at the worst possible times

-Saying "AUR NAUR" a bit too loud in public.

The Softest Love

Lucifer can't help but fall in love with making Alastor fall apart, and Alastor can't help but love it just as much.

OR

QPR Radioapple tickle fic, if you don't like, just keep scrolling babes

Just to be clear, there is NO sex in this and nothing alluding to it, Al's just shirtless lol

Posting this here so I remember to do it later

Hey everyone, I know it's going to be a busy day for a lot of people, but Google enrolled everyone over 18 into their AI program automatically.

If you have a google account, first go to gemini.google.com/extensions and turn everything off.

Then you need to go to myactivity.google.com/product/gemini and turn off all Gemini activity tracking. You do have to do them in that order to make sure it works.

Honestly, I'm not sure how long this will last, but this should keep Gemini off your projects for a bit.

I saw this over on bluesky and figured it would be good to spread on here. It only takes a few minutes to do.

Thanks for the tag Rose! These are just going to be my most recent ones lol, I can't choose between my children

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)

Halt O'Carrick (Ranger's Apprentice)

Zane (Lego Ninjago)

Bumblebee (Transformers [anything but Bayverse tbh])

Optimus Prime (Same as Bumblebee)

No pressure tags: @guesswhocouldntsleep @that-hazbin @lonely-lost-insanity @justaticklishdeer

five comfort characters, five tags

(had to start a new thread, got too long) thanks for tagging me @loulooser ooh i like this okay - nick nelson (osemanverse) - aled last (osemanverse) - peeta mellark (hunger games) - linh song (keeper of the lost cities) - xavier hawthorne (the inheritance games)

tagging @lyssified @mister3127 @raeny-nights-and-faery-lights @weirdo09 @charliethinks

as soon as I can get back the Ranger's Apprentice Brain Rot, you know I'll be writing something for this lol. There's a lot of things I want to write for RA, but Hazbin Hotel started holding me hostage at gunpoint shortly after I started writing fics lol

You know what I'm kinda surprised about

That so far I haven't seen a single fanfic about what happened when Halt was going through it in the burning bridge and just started defenestrating people and beating up children

Flanny should have included it in the book that would have been funny.

He learns that he doesn't have to pretend to be white anymore and he's promptly hit with emotions like a bag of bricks to the face.

On one hand, he's completely elated. He can actually be himself, have his curly hair and accent and mannerisms, etc, and NOT have to worry about being hatecrimed/having his reputation ruined. And on top of that, he can make fun of white people???? Let's Fucking Go

On the other hand, Ouch, Oh No, He Is Feeling Emotions. It's probably a lot to realize that you don't have to hide yourself anymore after doing it for over a fucking century. He's hit with the realization in front of the others and he just like,,,freezes. Kind of wide-eyed and someone asks if he's okay and he just kind of deflects like Yes, I Am Always Fine 100% Of The Time, Why Do You Ask

He's not though. He actually feels like he's on the verge of crying because of how utterly OVERWHELMING the influx of emotion is, but of course he doesn't say that. Never in a million years because - again - Ew, Emotions

Then he goes up to his room and DOES start crying because he was just hit with the realization that yes, his hair is curly, but he doesn't actually know how to take care of it. He can straighten it, but that's about it, which Hurts. Over 100 years of pretending to be a white man, and once he finally doesn't have to anymore, Alastor realizes that he doesn't actually know how to be his real self. And maybe he did once, or maybe he NEVER knew how. Either way, it Hurts and feels Bad and Awful

I like the idea that Alastor is so Not with the times that he doesn't realize that racism isn't as prevalent as it used to be. (Still around but definitely not like before.)

He's been straightening his hair and putting on a Specific Accent for the past century trying so hard to be white-passing, not having realized that not many people would bat an eye anymore towards his curls. Hell, some people would swoon if he Talked Southern to them.

I want him to be punched in the face with the realization that he doesn't really NEED to do that anymore. Like, maybe a hotel guest calls him a cracker and he's genuinely taken aback that you can make fun of white people for being white and NOT fear mass persecution. (And also low-key offended/disgusted to be mistaken for a caucasian man, despite deliberately trying to pass as white. He knows it doesn't make sense, shut up.)

Alastor: Vaggie.

Vaggie: Uh, what?

Alastor: One of our guests accused me of being a "lily white" man. Like it's an insult. Have I missed something or is pretending to be a white man not a valid survival technique anymore?

Vaggie: ... Why are you pretending to be a white man?

Alastor:

Alastor: The fact that you're asking me that tells me SO much.

On the flip side, the realization that he can make fun of white people now becomes Alastor's FAVORITE modern development. His next radio broadcast easily becomes his most popular showing on account of him roasting Vox's privileged white ass.

He's become Hip With The Kids.

(He's quietly thrilled by the new following he receives. This would have NEVER happened during his era.)

I literally LOVE this take with all my angst loving heart. It makes sense too - the parent who doesn't fucking HIT you is always the best parent, even if they do shit that's actually just as bad, because kids don't understand how damaging it is to not receive love from a parent - they just know that that parent (AKA Alastor's mom) isn't hurting them, so obviously they're amazing, right?

I imagine that whatever scenario happens where his mom gets to see him for a bit, the others all meet her, and they're expecting this loving saint of a mother based on the way Alastor talks about her but instead they see this woman who always looks guilty when she looks at Alastor. There's none of the warmth a typical caring mother has when she looks at him. They can all see it, but for some reason, Alastor just doesn't. None of them can tell if he knows and is just ignoring it, or if he genuinely thinks this is what a mother's love is - this solemn distance and one-sided enthusiasm.

He knows though. He just tries not to think about it, and tries to love her enough for both of them.

To make things even worse, I imagine that whenever she was talking to Lucifer, Alastor overheard everything. He knew his mother didn't love him, but it still hurts to hear it from her own mouth. Then for Lucifer to say that no one else loved him either? Again, it was something he knew - he didn't really think anyone else cared for him, but hearing out loud stings.. After hearing them talk, he just goes to the kitchen with a big (painful) smile on his face and begins making one of his mom's favorite recipes. If she has food she loves, maybe it will make being around Alastor a little easier for her

I often think about a What If scenario in which Alastor's mother was actually just. Not a good mom. I don't mean in a "she's evil" sense or anything, I just mean it in a "she didn't want children" sense. Or at least, not children with Alastor's father.

I like to think about Alastor's mother doing her best, but her best isn't good enough because 1, this wasn't the life she wanted, and 2, her child's face reminds her of a man she hates. As a consequence, she doesn't actually love Alastor, and feels guilty about it.

Meanwhile, Alastor grows to understand his mother doesn't love him, but he still loves her because she stuck around anyways. Sure, she can't look him in the eyes, but she's still around, still feeding him, sewing patches into his clothes, teaching him life lessons. And most of all, she doesn't physically harm him, which isn't something he can say about his father.

Of course, the lack of love from both of his parents still does a lot of psychological harm that he's just not aware of.

reblogging this for myself

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

Tickling the Ivories

Alastor has always loved playing the piano, and Rosie loves to listen. She also loves fucking with Alastor because it's written in the job description of being a best friend. He really just makes it all too easy when he keeps messing up the song he's trying to play

This is a platonic sfw tickle fic (though you can picture it as romantic if you would like to). If that's not something you're interested, then just keep right on scrolling

this one's a bit shorter than my usual stuff, but I'm tired, and it's ok to do things differently sometimes. This is for a friend on discord, idk which one right now. They said: "Alastor playing piano. right?? yes okay. Someone (rosie, vox, lucifer, anyone) is tickling him while he plays. if he messes up, grabs for them, tries to stop playing, tickles get worse and/or he has to start the song over. it eventually just turns into a full on wrecking." If you see this, this is for you.

If you want to can you please make a lee Alastor and ler Zestial fic?

Only if you want to! No pressure

Did someone say lee!Alastor and ler!Zestial? *I say, showing up the the party 6739327 years late with spiked eggnog while blasting Paris Paloma*

jokes aside, I'm so sorry this took so long lol - I worked on it, then it just kind of died in my drafts for a little bit. BUT it is here now, and I hope it's worth the wait

Settling Nerves

Alastor... isn't doing too great since the extermination, and an old friend takes notice. Zestial has known Alastor for a long time, and despite the Radio Demon's recent "sabbatical", Zestial still remembers an effective tactic for calming the deer sinner. Even if he doesn't know exactly what's wrong yet, Zestial's determined to lend a helping hand

This is a platonic sfw tickle fic - if that's not for you, no worries, just keep scrolling lol

aww, thanks for the tag!!

Last Song: "As Good A Reason" by Paris Paloma

Favorite Color: Probably Indigo or Psychedelic Purple

Currently Watching: Nothing at this moment, but I just finished 'Hilda' a couple days ago (100% recommend, it's on Netflix)

Last Movie: 'FX's A Christmas Carol' easily my favorite version of the story

Sweet, Spicy, Salty, or Savory: Spicy 85% of the time, the rest is decided by a roulette wheel hidden in my brain

Relationship Status: Happily single and not looking for a relationship

Current Obsession: writing angst for 'Hazbin Hotel' lmao (I have 9 WIP tabs open lol)

Last Thing You Googled: 'sweet blue dish with tapioca' I remembered some dessert I had when I was really little and was trying to find out what it was lol. As of right now, I think it was Nam Wan, but I don't know for sure

some no pressure tags: @lonely-lost-insanity , @oberveroftheinfinite @guesswhocouldntsleep , @justaticklishdeer , @that-hazbin and anyone else who wants to participate lol (I'm NOT tagging 9 people)

NINE PEOPLE I WANT TO KNOW BETTER TAG

I wasn't tagged but thought this looked like fun.

Last Song: 'Lonely Dancers' by Conan Gray. Favorite Color: Butter yellow. Currently Watching: 'Breaking Bad' for the third time. Last Movie: 'Sonic 3.' Sweet, Spicy, Salty, Or Savory: Spicy. Relationship Status: Taken and happily engaged. Current Obsession: Baking bread. Last Thing You Googled: How do I stop my cat from pooping in the bathtub?

I'm tagging @emma5618, @amazingmsme, @veryblushyswitch, @otomiyaa, @legs-like-jelly, @a-fluffer-nutter, @hype-blue-fixation, @happyandticklish, and @void-occupation. No pressure to respond if you don't feel like it, though!

I don't know if someone's done this already, but imagine the Justice League is doing some mission or another and Batman gets captured. Maybe it was on purpose, maybe it wasn't but whatever the case, the JL is now Concerned. Their main tactician is gone, and some of the villains are Batman's Rogues, who they admittedly don't know much about

They bust into where ever Batman's being held and only one person is there that they see. They take them out and wander around until they find Batman in a room with Harley Quinn. They go in guns blazing only to stop in pure confusion

Batman is tied rather impressively to a chair while Harley sits opposite of him with a clipboard in hand and glasses perched on her nose. Bruce looks absolutely miserable while Harley turns around with a wide smile as if she hadn't been holding Batman hostage. To be fair to her though, Bruce honestly had figured out how to escape his restraints about 5 minutes after he woke up, but he knows that the Joker doesn't ever listen to Harley and she'd get upset when her "impromptu therapy" sessions would get interrupted when they were in college together. He'd always had kind of a soft spot for Harley so he'd stayed. Not that anyone else needed to know that of course

everyone's interaction goes something like this:

Harley: Oh hi!

Superman who is Terminally Polite: H-hey. How are you?

Harley: Oh, I'm good. Batman and I were talking about his obvious abandonment issues and severe anxiety!

Bruce, mortified and hiding it surprisingly well: No we weren't

Flash: Is this...normal???

Harley: Yeah, just about - any time I get to watch him I usually give him some therapy. He obviously needs it and it's not like I'm doing much with my degree otherwise!

Bruce: First off, rude. Second off, why is everyone just standing around? We've got work to do!

And the entire League jumps guiltily as they realize they were kind of just staring at their captured teammate when there is indeed work to be done about the rest of the group they're facing. Then, Harley drops the bomb that she wasn't even involved???? She just heard that they'd captured Batman and broke in to Therapy at him while he couldn't get away

Will wonders at first why Halt is so adamant on them both having a very diverse and inclusive diet. Then Crowley tells him about Halt's vastly changed lifestyle after learning he had a vitamin deficiency. Will stops questioning why Halt is so insistent on a diverse pallet.

Also, I like to imagine that he was really low on iron too, so not only was he exhausted all the time from the B12 deficiency, but he'd pass tf out every time he stood up too fast. This ofc didn't help his parent's view of him and made him doubt himself whenever Pritchard started training him. After all, why would this cool woodsman from Araluen who apparently served the king in a secret society of archers or whatever want to train a skinny boy who couldn't even stand without his vision going black and the world shifting beneath his feet? Clearly there were better people for this

Then Pritchard started feeding him foods high in iron after recognizing the signs and his symptoms started going away and oh my gods is this what normal people live like????

I like to think his vitamin/iron deficiencies are partially due to genetics and metabolism, and partially due to Bad Textures with a lot of the food served at the castle. He feels shitty for complaining, but something about how they prepare a lot of the food (particularly the meat) is just Awful and Terrible and makes him feel physically ill. But again, Pritchard to the rescue to save Halt's "fae touched" *cough cough* AUTISTIC *cough cough* ass from Gross And Bad Textures That Make Him Want To Swallow A Lit Torch

Random little Halt headcanon I had for you guys.

So we all know how in Ruins of Gorlan Will's first impression of Halt is that is is 'old, scary and might kill me' right?

Another well known fact is that if you do the math for this series (which I 100% recommend you don't and instead spend all of your time ignoring both the timeline and character's ages) that Halt can't be older than 35.

Well this got me thinking how on earth does he have salt and pepper hair while being 35? And while yes I do know of people who start greying in their early 20's because of genes and stuff but like that is to boring for my hyperactive brain.

What you may or may not know is that vitamin B12 affects hair greying and pigmentation (at least I think this is in no way a total fact) so what if Halt was just really deficient in vitamin B12?

I don't know how they would've figured this out in medieval times and with their limited knowledge of medicine and stuff but just roll with me here.

Being deficient in B12 also can lead to mood swings and chronic tiredness so i like to think that during his childhood in Dun Kilty Halt was just always grumpy and tired but then he met Pritchard and Crowley and they were like 'you do realise this is because of a vitamin deficiency right?'

Obviously they helped him get sorted out or whatever and I for the first time in his live he felt what it was like to not be extremely tired ALL THE TIME and it was the most comical thing ever! Like his whole face probably lit up and he was like "I feel alive!?"

I love the idea that this was a really popular campfire story for several years and also the story the renegade rangers told Gilan and Will when they first became apprentices mainly to explain that no, halt is not old just vitamin deficient.

It was a whole thing when Will became an apprentice because Gilan kept telling him that all of Halt's grey hairs were because Gilan stressed him out so much during his apprenticeship (Something he would've been VERY proud of were it true) but Crowley stepped in and told him the truth.