Will Wonders At First Why Halt Is So Adamant On Them Both Having A Very Diverse And Inclusive Diet. Then

"I'm not short. I'm just uncommonly untall."

-Halt, Will, and literally every ranger besides Gilan

Don't mind me, just gotta put a little theory about gravity falls out into the world now that it's been revived

WARNING: minor Book of Bill spoilers

So in the BoB and the 3rd journal, Ford mentions that he needs to destroy the journals, but turns back on it because of "the importance of his research". However, he could have just torn out the pages about summoning Bill and the portal and burned those, and the rest of his research would have been safe

So why didn't he?

You could argue that it was because he couldn't reason through his growing paranoia and admittedly delusional state, and that is valid considering everything Bill was putting him through at that point - but it also would have been one of the first things to cross his mind, right??? He'd already said that he was planning to dismantle the portal, but was putting it off for some reason - again, something that didn't make any sense considering how terrified he was that Bill would be able to start it up again.

In the BoB, it talks about how Bill tormented Ford to try to get him to open the portal again - physical, psychological, and emotional torture on top of very real threats and gaslighting. There was also a point where Bill showed Ford that he could take full control of Ford's brain, turning off memories (such as his own name) at will, and Ford would be completely unable to tell that the memories were gone until Bill brought it up

So, here's my theory: Bill knew that Ford was planning to burn the journals/the pages about the portal, which were his only chance to enter the third dimension. He couldn't let that happen, so he fucked around in Ford's head - planted a few ideas, erased a plan or two, and suddenly, Ford was much more concerned about his research surviving than he was a couple hours ago. Concerned to the point that he wanted to hide his journals rather than destroy them. Basically, Ford being so protective of his research was due to more of Bill's manipulations in his mind that he never found out about. It's the only reason I could think of about why he went from 100% ready to burn the journals to being willing to physically attack Stan for trying to do just that

Anyways, that's all, figured I should get my theory out in the world now that canon actually backs it up a bit more than before BoB came out

You know those "I am not a robot" tests that some websites require? Well the autobots sure didn't. Ratchet is the first to find out. He's just doing some regular every-day stuff on the monitor (definitely not googling something one of the kids said because he didn't understand it even a little bit, shut up Miko), and suddenly this page full of jibberish pops up along with the little, "I'm not a robot" box. Naturally, Ratchet masks his confusion with pure rage, because how is he supposed to use this garbage earth technology when every resource requires him to copy down a word that isn't even there because it's literally just scribbles?????? After he learns what it is, he'll just angrily ask Raf to fill it in for him, though he is considerably insulted that this stupid little test works on beings as advanced as Cybertronians.

When Optimus first sees the test, he just freezes in complete confusion. He's completely bluescreened. The monitor told him to pick all of the pictures with the bicycles. He did that. How was he wrong. The screen told him to pick two items that are the same shape, but he is literally trembling, about to shut down like a microsoft computer because none of them are the same shape. How can they be the same shape if they're different colors aND DIFFERENT FUCKING SIZES-

Everyone looks at him in confusion when a static-electricity-like sound emanates from his head, and then he just slowly slumps to the ground because the confusion made his processor glitch, and the kids could practically hear the windows shutdown music as he just dropped to the floor. (This isn't the first or last time this has happened. This is the reason he doesn't try to understand the more confusing gen-z memes. If you've ever seen videos from Orion Zax on youtube, think the oven joke video, and that's literally just this. If you haven't, look it up, it's great)

You know a funny thing to think about is if cybertronians have some like, goofy ass software/hardware limitations.

Like those clothes designed to confuse ai image recognition, would they just not be able to comprehend what they're looking at like some eldrich monstrosity?

Or I've seen videos where someone is speaking polish but it's pronounced like it's english and I'm just imagining that shit messing with their translation software.

Would their vision bug out if they're near something radioactive like a camera would?

Feel free to add onto this if anyone has more thoughts.

He learns that he doesn't have to pretend to be white anymore and he's promptly hit with emotions like a bag of bricks to the face.

On one hand, he's completely elated. He can actually be himself, have his curly hair and accent and mannerisms, etc, and NOT have to worry about being hatecrimed/having his reputation ruined. And on top of that, he can make fun of white people???? Let's Fucking Go

On the other hand, Ouch, Oh No, He Is Feeling Emotions. It's probably a lot to realize that you don't have to hide yourself anymore after doing it for over a fucking century. He's hit with the realization in front of the others and he just like,,,freezes. Kind of wide-eyed and someone asks if he's okay and he just kind of deflects like Yes, I Am Always Fine 100% Of The Time, Why Do You Ask

He's not though. He actually feels like he's on the verge of crying because of how utterly OVERWHELMING the influx of emotion is, but of course he doesn't say that. Never in a million years because - again - Ew, Emotions

Then he goes up to his room and DOES start crying because he was just hit with the realization that yes, his hair is curly, but he doesn't actually know how to take care of it. He can straighten it, but that's about it, which Hurts. Over 100 years of pretending to be a white man, and once he finally doesn't have to anymore, Alastor realizes that he doesn't actually know how to be his real self. And maybe he did once, or maybe he NEVER knew how. Either way, it Hurts and feels Bad and Awful

I like the idea that Alastor is so Not with the times that he doesn't realize that racism isn't as prevalent as it used to be. (Still around but definitely not like before.)

He's been straightening his hair and putting on a Specific Accent for the past century trying so hard to be white-passing, not having realized that not many people would bat an eye anymore towards his curls. Hell, some people would swoon if he Talked Southern to them.

I want him to be punched in the face with the realization that he doesn't really NEED to do that anymore. Like, maybe a hotel guest calls him a cracker and he's genuinely taken aback that you can make fun of white people for being white and NOT fear mass persecution. (And also low-key offended/disgusted to be mistaken for a caucasian man, despite deliberately trying to pass as white. He knows it doesn't make sense, shut up.)

Alastor: Vaggie.

Vaggie: Uh, what?

Alastor: One of our guests accused me of being a "lily white" man. Like it's an insult. Have I missed something or is pretending to be a white man not a valid survival technique anymore?

Vaggie: ... Why are you pretending to be a white man?

Alastor:

Alastor: The fact that you're asking me that tells me SO much.

On the flip side, the realization that he can make fun of white people now becomes Alastor's FAVORITE modern development. His next radio broadcast easily becomes his most popular showing on account of him roasting Vox's privileged white ass.

He's become Hip With The Kids.

(He's quietly thrilled by the new following he receives. This would have NEVER happened during his era.)

hello its me- haunting your dashboard and askbox once more haha-

i saw this somewhere else but I don't remember where; what would hell's version of winter be like? I remembered your headcanon about alastor getting cold easily and I would just like to share my vision.

so hell has an extreme climate- we know that- so winter is basically Antarctica. not alastor-friendly AT ALL, it only ever happens once in a blue moon in hell so he's never really had to deal with this before. the whump possibilities are endless lmao. all-around suffering for the deer man.

do with this what you will! no pressure ofc, this is more like a concept you could make your own story or au with so i'm not sure if it counts as an ask- but do whatever you wanna, and if you did ever do a fic, (if that be a series or a one-shot) I would love to make a comic or cover as a Collab! :D

PLEASE never apologize for haunting my dash/asks, this blog is very ghost-friendly!!!!! All ghosts are allowed to haunt as they please!!

As for your beautiful vision: I love it. I will help it grow and will nourish it until it becomes a beautiful whump monster right here on my little laptop. Not sure WHEN I will make it happen, but I WILL make it happen. For now though, I will simply add to this headcanon (expect whatever I add to probably end up in the fic lol)

Winter in Hell is quite the phenomena - only occurring around once every century or so. It doesn't stick to a set schedule though (Lucifer still shudders when he remembers that time that they had five winters within the span of a single decade.) They are also completely by surprise: the most notice Hell has ever had for a winter is that the temperature dropped five degrees in one day. The next morning, sinners couldn't even open their doors the snow was piled so high. And of course, it wouldn't be Hell if the winters were the normal length, no. Winters in Hell can be anything from six months to the record of three motherfucking years. The last winter took place in the late 1910s - about a decade or so before Alastor died.

As mentioned in my previous headcanon, Alastor is a Louisiana boy. And Louisiana did not receive a SINGLE FUCKING INCH of snowfall the entire time Alastor was alive (trust me I CHECKED, that shit is WILD). That means a few things. 1.) Alastor has never seen snow in his now 120ish years of existing. 2.) Alastor has never felt anything below 50°F his entire existence. 3.) Alastor is painfully thin, which means his body has no way to preserve heat. And 4.) Alastor does not appear to have any clothing besides his three-piece suit that he wears all the time in Hell's usual blazing temperatures with seemingly no issue. Of course, this means that his suit would do nothing for him in Actual Cold Weather since he's so used to it.

With all of this knowledge, the only conclusion I can draw is that once winter actually hits, Alastor is royally FUCKED. Especially considering that a winter in Hell is compiled of all of the worst things about winter. The cold air is dry, and the wind is sharp and biting - in the way that leaves your face stinging and your hands and lips splitting. Somehow simultaneously, the snow can change between huge flakes and straight-up sleet, which if you've ever been in sleet, you know it sucks major ass.

If someone doesn't give Alastor a heated blanket He Will Die. Alastor makes the mistake of going outside exactly twice (because let's face it, I love him but this man is too prideful to accept that the weather will kill him after only one attempt - he's Just A Bit Dumb). Both times he has to be rescued by someone at the hotel after he almost fucking freezes to death like An Idiot, and he manages to also get hypothermia both times because he refuses to do anything in halves. After he also almost freezes to death in his room (which is how they find out there's a draft), he's not even allowed in there, and they move him to a guest room right next to Charlie and Vaggie's room that Lucifer added a fireplace to. He alternates between the kitchen (the oven is very warm and Food), his room (the fireplace is very warm and the bed is cozy), and the couch in the lobby (the fireplace is very warm and the couch is cozy and also Alastor is antisocially social).

He is cold. He is miserable. He is perpetually shaking like an old chihuahua. Some of the residents thought it was funny at first, but that quickly stopped after the first Almost Death. They have to watch him because Alastor becomes very despondent, and if he stops shivering, he needs to be warmed up again. Alastor is more exhausted during the winter then he has ever been in his entire existence due to all the energy his body is burning trying to stay warm. He's sleeping more than ever, but he looks absolutely terrible - eyebags so dark they look like a goth guy's eyeshadow, hair a mess, and an overall very strained look about him. He also eats a lot less, so he begins losing weight which is the exact opposite of helpful in this situation. It gets to the point where Husk is willingly braving the elements to get to the butcher shop Alastor likes just to get sinner meat so he will hopefully get something in him.

This winter is the first time any of them have ever seen him willingly snuggle up to someone, and it's fucking LUCIFER because this little bastard puts out the most heat because for some reason that it part of being a seraphim. Lucifer for his part just kinda lets it slide because Alastor would probably die if he didn't and that would make Charlie sad. Ok, and he kinda reminds Lucifer of when Charlie was little and would snuggle up to him, but that's no one's business but his own. If he's a little softer with Alastor afterwards, and less easily provoked by the sinner, that is also no one's business but his own.

hooo, I really let this one get away from me lol. Hope you enjoy this, and please feel free to haunt me as much as you want!! And when I eventually get this pushed out, it would be absolutely fantastic if you decided to make a comic/cover. I absolutely love your art

Continuing from that ask about Lucifer and Alastor's mom, do you think Lucifer even registers that he's gotten himself on everybody's shit list? Or is he oblivious to everyone except his daughter?

Honestly, when combined with his depression, his general disregard of sinners, and whatever else is going on in that head of his, I highly doubt it. He'd notice Charlie and maybe Vaggie - if only because he wants to get closer to her to get closer to Charlie, but his general opinion of sinners is so low that he just assumes the way they're glaring at him is just how they naturally are. I mean, in ep 5 he was giving Charlie an 'I told you so' speech where he said verbatim, "[...] Sinners are violent psychopaths who are hell bent on causing as much pain an destruction as they can." He literally sees them as nothing more than monsters who can't feel or do anything that isn't negative, despite the fact that everyone in the hotel he'd been introduced to besides Alastor had been relatively kind to him up to that point. They literally made cookies for his arrival and he didn't do anything but cringe in mild disgust

So I think that it's pretty safe to say that no, he didn't notice their anger at him

(Again, here's the original post and here's the follow up that prompted this ask, and here's the OP for the first post @that-hazbin )

Here's chapter 2 my little squidlings, feast, for I have attempted to provide a bountiful harvest

I'M NOT DEAD!!!!!!

I have finally returned and have decided to post my most recent fixation for everyone to see. (I've been through this song and dance before but now everyone gets to see it). Also, it's not angst related?????? Who am I and what have I done with the real Void-

Optimus Prime has to repeatedly be told that he cannot in fact adopt every animal that happens to cross his path, and he has brought back everything from boxes of cats, to a stray dog, to a whole ass mountain lion on one particularly memorable occasion. HOWEVER, there is one animal he absolutely refuses to take home, and even attempts to avoid contact with at all costs. This giant alien robot who has fought in a continuous war for thousands of years will place more trust in Unicron himself (who he has literally almost died fighting) then he will in a goat. Specifically the screaming variety. The humans and most of team Prime had never seen Optimus get truly freaked out by anything - that is until he stepped into the base one day and promptly froze on the spot.

A recent sandstorm had destroyed someone's fence and a few of their goats got out. Bumblebee - taking after his sire obviously - saw the animal wandering around the desert and decided to take it back to base until the kids could find out where it lived. Optimus, who was just returning from his patrol, did not expect to return and find that the literal spawn of satan had invaded his home, and therefore was not ready to confront this secret phobia of his (especially not in front of his friends and family). So,,,, he walks in and just,,, stops. Doesn't even blink. Ratchet hasn't seen his optics this wide since he was Orion Pax. The worst part? This fucking goat is just staring him down. No mercy. Optimus can practically feel the pure malice this thing radiates as he tries to remember how to vent.

No one understands what kind of staring contest Optimus and this goat are having, but you could practically cut the tension between them with a knife. Suddenly, this goat just fucking s c r e a m s and Optimus promptly loses his damn mind. He lets out the highest pitch screech he has made in his centuries-long-life, and trips over himself in his haste to get away from this nightmare spawn standing before him.

Long story short, even after watching it happen, no one knows how Optimus scrambled up into the rafters, but he is now refusing to come down until the goat is gone, and is keeping an arm-cannon aimed at it at all times. Yes, he hears at least half of the bases occupants laughing their asses off at him, and yes, he hears Miko practically crying through her laughter, but Primus damn it he is not coming down until that thing is gone, Bumblebee so help me-

Eventually, the goat is removed from the base, and Optimus finally makes his way back to solid ground. His faceplace is practically glowing blue with his embarrassment, and he won't make eye contact with anyone for at least the next two hours, but now that the goat is gone, he's fine. He has to live with the jokes about it from everyone there for the rest of his life, but no matter how much they pester him about it, he refuses to divulge the story about the origin of his incurable fear of goats. He plans to take that story with him to the all spark (He eventually tells Ratchet and Bumblebee, the former of which promises never to tell another soul, the latter attempts to do the same, but accidentally tells Raf, who accidentally tells Miko, who purposefully ensures that everyone else knows by the end of the week. (Optimus isn't too mad, the story is actually quite funny as long as he is not within 3 miles of a goat at any point in the telling of the story.))

Thanks for the tag! Ok let's see...

Name: Void

Sign: Aries (doesn't match)

DOB: April 8th

Time: 0932

Last movie: Not sure, I think it was Into the Spiderverse, but that was 4 months ago.

Last show: Pretty sure it was The Mandalorian

Why did I make this blog: I ghosted around for a while, and I really wanted to be able to talk to people about my thoughts on fandoms

Do I have any other blogs: no

Do I get asks/can you ask me: I don't get any, but I would love to. However I might take a while to respond up until the end of November

AVG sleep: at home I average anywhere from 2-4 hours, but in training I get 6 hours.

Instruments: Piano when my brain tells me I know how to play an instrument I've never trained on

What I'm wearing: OCPs (just like every day for the past 4 fucking MONTHS)

Dream job: FBI agent (but a voice actor would be fun too)

Open tags :)

ok @emlovessid tagged me in this and i kinda just forgot to do it so let’s for it

name: noa sign: leo dob: august 4 2005 time: is this like time where i am rn? if so 5:31pm last movie: the eras tour movie (i think) last show: skam france (season 4, just finished episode 3) when i created this blog: first post was November 15, 2021 so prbs then? other blogs: i have a lil writing blog @noaswritingcorner where it's mostly just poetry but i'll upload personal (non-fandom related) writing projects if i feel like it (and ever actually finish them LMFAO) do i get asks/can you ask me something: i haven't got any asks but feel free to ask stuff avg hours of sleep: honestly i don't really have an average, i really vary between like 2 hours and 11 hours instrument: guitar, ukulele, bass (i want to start the drums and keyboard/piano too though!) what i'm wearing: pj's, today's been a studying for my final high school exams day and i woke up at like 12pm dream job: fuck me if i know, i just want to do something i'm passionate about; dance, acting, makeup and styling, writing, music . i'm low key just going with whatever

tags: imma just tag my mutuals? (ig that's what they are lmfao) but no pressure lmfao @gaystheysanddinos @saintchaser @evbell @reggiecantswimm @my-beloved-fandoms @marzst4rz

I was inspired by @greykolla-art to write even more angst! Yay, don't you just love pain? This is inspired by one of their awesome comics (the link is in the fic notes)