I Have More Followers, But Only By 3

QPR Applemedia Headcanons

I got bit with the bug for this ship a couple weeks ago, and while I'm writing a little fic for them, you guys can have these headcanons

Lucifer and Vox are romantically and sexually involved while Alastor is their queerplatonic partner

Lucifer and Alastor were actually the first to become involved with each other, then (somehow) Alastor and Vox worked through their differences and became qpps as well

Lucifer DID NOT like Vox at first - he'd heard what happened between him and Alastor and was sure he was trying to hurt Alastor again. It wasn't until Alastor got sick of the protectiveness and forced them to hang out that the pair actually realized their chemistry

Lucifer and Vox are both rich and treat customer service employees like shit

Alastor - who grew up poor and is still not exactly strapped for cash (I'm a broke Alastor truther, sue me) hates this. Both he and his mother worked in customer service when money was tight while he was alive, so he always tries to treat them with respect. He'll take money from whoever was the biggest asshole on their nights out and use it to give the waitstaff large tips. Nights out almost always end in the silent treatment, but our boys are dumb so they don't know what they did wrong or understand why it was wrong when Alastor tells them

Don't worry, they get it eventually and start working on themselves

Vox and Alastor both prefer coffee while Lucifer likes tea more

Vox has the best sleep schedule, Lucifer alternates between not sleeping at all and sleeping for 19 hours, and Alastor sleeps at most 3 hours per night due to crippling insomnia - though he like to tell everyone that not sleeping is a choice in order to seem more mysterious and intimidating

Vox and Lucifer had a field day when they found out Alastor was ticklish. Alastor pretends to be annoyed every time they gang up on him, but it actually reminds him of the rare happy memories of his childhood, so he lets them keep doing it

Vox and Lucifer will binge their favorite shows together and come up with the wildest conspiracies about them

When they sleep in the same bed, Alastor and Lucifer use Vox as a makeshift heater

Alastor is fine with being kissed - making out is a definite no - but he doesn't kiss. He bites with affection. He never draws blood when he's being affectionate, but he's not always gentle either. It isn't uncommon for the trio to be laying in bed and Alastor just starts biting whoever is closest

For someone who is supposedly with the times, Alastor and Lucifer had to explain asexuality an ungodly number of times for Vox to finally understand it - a byproduct of being with Valentino for so long

Alastor still refuses to allow cameras to see him clearly, just to tease Vox when they aren't around each other

Despite his claims, there is actually a wide array of modern music that Alastor enjoys, but despite his southern roots, Vox found out the hard way that Alastor will throw hands if you play country around him

Alastor and Vox love making fun of Lucifer for his height - until he shifted into a form that was a good 5 inches taller than both of them just to shut them up. Lucifer wishes he'd had a camera because he'd never seen them both so flustered at the same time

They have competitions about who can come up with the best dad joke/corny pickup line, and they usually end up laughing so hard they can't breathe by the end of it

They also love trying to make each other blush. Lucifer turns bright gold when he receives genuine affection. Vox overheats when either Alastor genuinely laughs, or Lucifer turns on the charm. Alastor hates that he turns bright red with either genuine praise or when his partners surprise him with something he enjoys (knowledge of jazz/radio, cooking authentic Creole meals for him, expressing real interest when he actually gets invested in something, etc.)

All three of them have weird little hyperfixations - Lucifer with his ducks, Alastor and furbys, and Vox is absolutely fascinated by the existance of Pastafarianism (the worship of the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster). They all tease each other over their hyperfixations but will listen with the same fond looks when one of them starts rambling about it

Speaking of furbies, when Alastor unleashed the fabled Furby Organ, he played "Symphony No. 5" on it perfectly, and Lucifer and Vox were both awed and horrified

Lucifer always worries they will leave him just like Lilith did, and they both do their best to comfort and assure him otherwise

Vox is afraid that Alastor and Lucifer secretly think he barged in on their relationship, and they will playfully talk shit about each other until Vox is convinced he's both wanted and plays a vital part of their relationship

Alastor fears that they'll either decide he's not good enough because he doesn't like sex, or they'll find out he doesn't own his soul and cast him aside. They don't do anything about this because Alastor never tells them about his fears, instead letting them fester until they manifest as constant nightmares that he also doesn't tell them about

They have each others favorite food and drinks memorized down to the seasoning and temperature

Vox's love language is gift giving, Lucifer's is quality time, and Alastor's is - ironically enough - physical contact. Of course, this makes his touch aversion even more difficult to navigate

All three of them are incredibly touch-starved

Alastor learned how to rewire and fix televisions purely for Vox's benefit - he read three different owner's manuals and practiced on the tv in the lobby in secret

On Lucifer's bad days, Alastor and Vox will regularly check on him and slowly coax him out of bed

Vox is prone to viruses despite his firewalls, and Alastor and Lucifer take turns playing nursemaid when they get bad

When they learned Alastor suffered from panic attacks, Lucifer and Vox spent hours researching ways to help during, before, and after an attack, and learned the signs Alastor had that he was becoming distressed so they could make them less frequent

On that note, when they discovered that he had trichotillomania (hair pulling disorder), they got him different fidget/picking toys to negate the urge to pull his hair

That's all I have for now, feel free to add onto this if you want, I'd love to hear your opinions

love all of these with my entire being, couldn't resist adding to it lol

Nifty and Alastor. Nifty is 100% the ler in this situation, and not just because she's canonically not ticklish. She is an absolute gremlin and is completely merciless when she decides to tickle someone. Safewords exist with her, but you have to make sure she can hear you when you say it - she'll get so lost in hr attack that she'll completely forget to listen for it. She usually tickles Alastor if she thinks he's upset, or if he's committed a particularly heinous crime against her cleaning agenda (hint about a fic I've written and am currently proofreading???), and she is a little monster about it. If she wants him to admit something, he'll do it within a few minutes. No matter how much he shields himself, her hands are so small, they can squeeze past his defenses to get his worst spots. She's also surprisingly patient - she can build up to a session for days, her current record is 13 days. The anticipation makes Alastor super skittish because he never knows when she'll strike. No matter what, if Nifty decides to tickle him, Alastor will end up crying by the end of the session, if not by the middle. She is scarily precise and always knows what methods/spots will draw out the most intense reactions

Alastor and his shadow. I like to think that they are actually very close emotionally, and his shadow is Alastor's #1 ler, if only because they are around each other 99% of the time. His shadow (they/them) will tickle him for literally any reason. Waking up a few minutes late? Tickles. Anxious/sad/upset at all? Soft cheer-up tickles. Alastor's in a sudden lee mood? They can cater to whatever he needs, be it gentle teasing or a full-blown wrecking. Will use shadowy tendrils to restrain Alastor 9/10 times, even if it's just holding one arm up while they tickle his armpit/side. They're also not afraid to do subtle tickle attacks in front of other people - the most memorable of which being the time that they discreetly tickled his entire torso for a whole overlord meeting and Alastor was literally shaking in his seat and clamped one of his hands over his mouth to physically stop his laughter. Alastor pretends to be mad when that happens, but in reality he's just incredibly flustered

Alastor and Zestial. Happens very rarely and Alastor is always baffled/flustered by it. Zestial has developed pretty strong paternal instincts for Carmilla's daughters and Alastor, though he's never told Alastor as much. He's more of the quietly caring kind of guy, and Alastor is physically incapable of picking up on that kind of thing, though he respects the fuck out of Zestial and always looks forward to their talks. Zestial always makes his tickles seem like they could be accidents. Running his claws up and down Alastor's spine in a way that's shockingly ticklish, grazing the back of his neck when he goes to put a hand on Alastor's shoulder, repeatedly poking Alastor in the ribs/belly when mentioning that he should eat more. Again, very subtle, but he always knows exactly what he's doing. Zestial is just doing his part in making sure Alastor's smile is more genuine in his presence, and if that means poking at his ribs until he's muffling laughter behind clenched teeth and fighting the urge to twist away, the so be it

Tickle hcs for hazbin!

CW/TW: This has lots of sadomasochism and implied CNC (all SFW though!)

(characters included: Charlie, Alastor, The Vees (all 3), Husker, and Lucifer)

tickle rants/fic ideas and inspo stuff (Feel free to add on stuff and/or use these!) 

Rosie and Alastor. Come on lets get some potential in here, she’d totally do intense tk sessions with him. She isn’t stopping until he safewords. He may be scared, yes, but he gave her full permission + consent to do it. (We could honestly go for a CNC vibe!) Rosie is ruthless with tickles, and isn’t really too shy when it comes to lees. She knows their boundaries + limits, and is careful when pushing a lee past the limit. Rosie also owns a voodoo doll of Alastor. But other sessions can be all fluffy and sickening sweet! Soft tickles, teasing little petnames and nicknames (are those the same thing?), gentle pokes and prods. Rosie def knows how to melt a lee, (again, looking at you Alastor,) and loves seeing them be all fluffy and sweet with her.

Vox and Alastor. Alastor is probably more a 50/50 switch with this one, Vox the same. In my opinion, Alastor totally fear chases Vox down all too often for tickle sessions. Knife play isn’t uncommon. CNC is also probably in this one too! I def think Vox would be super teasy with words and tickles when he’s wrecking Alastor. He probably loves doing anticipation stuff–casual pokes and prods when in front of people, little innocent teases, and this could go on for hours on end until Alastor finally just begs Vox to wreck him. When Alastor is tickling Vox, I feel like he’d be on the more sadistic side of things. Ticklish nibbles/bites, claws (he has claws!!!), he’d probably use his tendrils when tickling him. Both can be fluffy one second and wildly sadomasochistic the next. To me its a 50/50.

Vox, Velvette, and Val. They are def on the more sadomasochistic side of things. I feel like Vox and Val are the main lees in the trio, Vel being the ler in most situations. She isn’t afraid to make her lees cry. Val and/or Vox could be crying and begging her to stop, but she isn’t going to. There’s a reason a safeword is set in place. She knows how much they can take + when they’re actually done. I think Velvette would be the one who would do tickle sessions for hours on end. Occasionally she’ll have/let Vox help with wrecking Val and pushing him past limits. They’re sadomasochists, and Vel would totally record sessions.

Val and Alastor (not my most common lee/ler thingy for me). I feel like its a 50/50 here. Alastor enjoys seeing Valentino sob from being tickled. he doesnt like Val that much anyway, so seeing him in pain brings out that sadistic side. Alastor isn’t too kind when it comes to tickles for Val. Val is kind of the same way. He would defninetly trick/force Alastor into drinking a potion that increases ticklish sensations. The poor deer will be thrashing and begging before Val even touches him. And when it actually does start, Alastor probably will be crying within the first five to ten minutes. But then again, safeword is in place. Both demons are sadomasochists. 

Velvette and Alastor. (Personal preferences for female lees have me saying Alastor is the lee in all situations). Velvette enjoys recording tickle sessions. She knows how sadomasochistic Alastor is so purposely does things to rile him up (anticipation, tapping her fingers up his back/sides/etc, talking about tickles in front of him.) When it’s time for the actual session, he’s essentially shaking from wanting the tickles so badly. He does but up a front of saying he doesnt want them until Vel forces him into saying he wants the tickles. He doesnt like the fact that she records it, but he cant really stop her.

Alastor and Husker. 50/50 switch again. Alastor loves doing fear chases with the soul he owns. Seeing the cat sprint away and try to hide while he’s calmly and slowly chasing him down is everything to him. He can sense the fear in Husker which makes it better. Husk enjoys the fear chases but would never say it. Alastor does own a voodoo doll of Husk. When Husk is tickling Alastor, he often has to chain him down so he isn’t thrashing all pver the place. Alastor likes to feel like he’s still in control. so he tells Husk what/where he can tickle and how much. Both demons enjoy the tickles, Alastor moreso than Husk. Husk can/will make cat noises when tickled. 

Charlie and Alastor. (again with my female lee stuff, Charlie isn’t a lee here.) Charlie I think is more soft tickles with Alastor. She enjoys just melting the deer with soft tickles. Charlie also enjoys seeing him start to whine and giggle for more. She loves teasing him, but I think she wouldn’t be too cruel with him. Alastor does tease her through the tickles too, because of the whole wanting to feel in control thing. 

Lucifer and Alastor. Lucifer is more the lee with these two. Alastor enjoys doing soft and rough tickles with Lucifer. He loves to see his rival/partner reduced to an absolute laughing mess from tickles. One way he loved to rile Lucifer up is to drag a hand/tendril down Lucifer’s back to make all six wings flare out, then being all innocent snd pretending it wasn’t him. Lucifer does get Alastor back, although more ruthless. Lucifer’s weak spot may be his wings, but god do angelic feathers work hellish wonders as tickle tools. He slips a wing or two underneath Alastor’s clothes to get right up against the fluffy deer. It tickles like hell. Overall, Alastor loves it.

wowowowow i went overboard lol enjoy!!

Here's chapter 2 my little squidlings, feast, for I have attempted to provide a bountiful harvest

Alastor's Animal Noises

I won't call this an unpopular headcanon, just one that is slept on.

So, everyone knows about Alastor making deer noises, both in canon and fanon. In the show he canonically makes little fawn squeaks when Rosie hugs him (which lives in my head rent free at all times) and does the elk scream a couple times throughout the show. Fanon is just as up in arms about this trait of his, and I think it's great.

But.

What if he ALSO made alligator noises? HEAR ME OUT - trust me, you won't regret it.

So.

When you really think about it, there are a large amount of traits that Alastor has that would make it logical for him to share traits with an alligator as well as a deer. These include: teeth/habit of eating sinners(cannibalism) (alligators are known cannibals), place of origin being Louisiana, persistent presence of bayous in his life (near his home in the living world, supposedly where he hid his victims, where he died, and the bayou in his room), ambush predator (makes you feel at ease by being unassuming then strikes before you even realize the danger), and his temper (appears calm until he's NOT) just to name a few.

Despite what people tend to think, alligators actually make a TON of different sounds, though there's a few main ones I'll talk about.

First one is the territorial growl.

I feel like Alastor could make this sound when he's being territorial (obviously), threatening, or protective (as rare as that is). He begins making this sound a lot more often the longer he stays at the hotel because he begins to see it as his territory, and the residents as his people (not that he'd ever admit that lol). Also, I feel like hearing this loud, bass-feeling noise from this rail-thin deer man would be a bit jarring, especially if you'd never heard it before

Second sound is the defensive hiss.

This is a sound Alastor would make if he's feeling threatened. I'm thinking scenarios where he's annoyed/mad/anxious are when he'd hiss, because they're all scenarios where he'd be trying to get something or someone to leave him alone. It's a very different yet very similar sound to a cat's hiss. They can mean similar things, but hearing an alligator hiss is significantly more threatening, which fits Alastor's character. Also, it means he can still sound terrifying when he's the one who's scared (if he manages to make a distressed gator sound rather than a distressed deer sound that is lol)

And of course, we can't forget the mandatory cute sound, the baby swamp puppy chirps.

If he gets to make fawn noises, you bet your ass he's gonna make swamp puppy laser sounds. The scenarios where he'd make these noises are a lot more rare, but they definitely exist. He wouldn't ever admit it, but he sees Rosie as a mother figure, and just as he tends to greet her with fawn squeaks, Alastor will subconsciously start doing little baby gator chirps when he's looking for her and can't find her. His instincts are to call out to her so she can find him - the same way baby alligators do with their mothers - and the side effect is that he makes cute little laser chirping noises without even realizing it. He has a tendency to do it when he's looking for anyone he likes who is older than him. Zestial finds it charming and the few times it happened to him, Husk refuses to talk about, a lot of mixed feelings brought up by the fact that the man who owns his soul has given him at least somewhat of a parental role subconsciously.

anyways, these were just my thoughts on it, feel free to add on your own or use it as inspiration for your own work (let me know though, I want to see it!!!!) (putting this in the lee!alastor tags to feed the imaginations of my friends there who are always starving for more things)

yeah....yeah that tracks lol

@guesswhocouldntsleep @theanonemu @hype-blue-fixation @curled-up-blushing and anyone else

which ao3 tag are you?

Will: I just saw Halt drop his cup of coffee

Will: It's been 45 minutes but he's just staring at the puddle on the ground, tears silently streaming down his face

Will: Honestly, at this point I'm too afraid to help

This is a platonic SFW tickle fic, and if that isn't your cup of tea, kindly keep scrolling.

TW: it does get kind of intense but that's because Alastor is an idiot (lovingly) who doesn't know how to shut tf up, and Lucifer is a petty bastard who has been banned from completely disintegrating this deer twink.

After Alastor's last panic attack, Angel's been keeping a close eye on the Radio Demon. Unfortunately from what he can tell, the overlord hasn't been doing too hot since the extermination, and it's only a matter of time before everything boils to the surface.

OR

An idea from @TeddyLockwood in the comments of the last one in this series, where Alastor is coping with his injuries from the battle. I couldn't say no to another opportunity to write Alastor whump with Therapy Pig Fat Nuggets lol

I literally LOVE this take with all my angst loving heart. It makes sense too - the parent who doesn't fucking HIT you is always the best parent, even if they do shit that's actually just as bad, because kids don't understand how damaging it is to not receive love from a parent - they just know that that parent (AKA Alastor's mom) isn't hurting them, so obviously they're amazing, right?

I imagine that whatever scenario happens where his mom gets to see him for a bit, the others all meet her, and they're expecting this loving saint of a mother based on the way Alastor talks about her but instead they see this woman who always looks guilty when she looks at Alastor. There's none of the warmth a typical caring mother has when she looks at him. They can all see it, but for some reason, Alastor just doesn't. None of them can tell if he knows and is just ignoring it, or if he genuinely thinks this is what a mother's love is - this solemn distance and one-sided enthusiasm.

He knows though. He just tries not to think about it, and tries to love her enough for both of them.

To make things even worse, I imagine that whenever she was talking to Lucifer, Alastor overheard everything. He knew his mother didn't love him, but it still hurts to hear it from her own mouth. Then for Lucifer to say that no one else loved him either? Again, it was something he knew - he didn't really think anyone else cared for him, but hearing out loud stings.. After hearing them talk, he just goes to the kitchen with a big (painful) smile on his face and begins making one of his mom's favorite recipes. If she has food she loves, maybe it will make being around Alastor a little easier for her

I often think about a What If scenario in which Alastor's mother was actually just. Not a good mom. I don't mean in a "she's evil" sense or anything, I just mean it in a "she didn't want children" sense. Or at least, not children with Alastor's father.

I like to think about Alastor's mother doing her best, but her best isn't good enough because 1, this wasn't the life she wanted, and 2, her child's face reminds her of a man she hates. As a consequence, she doesn't actually love Alastor, and feels guilty about it.

Meanwhile, Alastor grows to understand his mother doesn't love him, but he still loves her because she stuck around anyways. Sure, she can't look him in the eyes, but she's still around, still feeding him, sewing patches into his clothes, teaching him life lessons. And most of all, she doesn't physically harm him, which isn't something he can say about his father.

Of course, the lack of love from both of his parents still does a lot of psychological harm that he's just not aware of.

Will: Dumbest scar stories, go! 
Cassandra: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. 
Alyss: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. 
Gilan: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. 
Horace: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. 
Halt: 
Halt: I have emotional scars.

Bonus:

Will:

Will, concerned: You good dad?

Halt, sobbing on the floor: I don’t know what I’m crying more about, the fact that I’m not ok, the fact that someone finally asked me, or that you just called me dad.

Halt:

Halt: I love you too son.