QPR Applemedia Headcanons

Will wonders at first why Halt is so adamant on them both having a very diverse and inclusive diet. Then Crowley tells him about Halt's vastly changed lifestyle after learning he had a vitamin deficiency. Will stops questioning why Halt is so insistent on a diverse pallet.

Also, I like to imagine that he was really low on iron too, so not only was he exhausted all the time from the B12 deficiency, but he'd pass tf out every time he stood up too fast. This ofc didn't help his parent's view of him and made him doubt himself whenever Pritchard started training him. After all, why would this cool woodsman from Araluen who apparently served the king in a secret society of archers or whatever want to train a skinny boy who couldn't even stand without his vision going black and the world shifting beneath his feet? Clearly there were better people for this

Then Pritchard started feeding him foods high in iron after recognizing the signs and his symptoms started going away and oh my gods is this what normal people live like????

I like to think his vitamin/iron deficiencies are partially due to genetics and metabolism, and partially due to Bad Textures with a lot of the food served at the castle. He feels shitty for complaining, but something about how they prepare a lot of the food (particularly the meat) is just Awful and Terrible and makes him feel physically ill. But again, Pritchard to the rescue to save Halt's "fae touched" *cough cough* AUTISTIC *cough cough* ass from Gross And Bad Textures That Make Him Want To Swallow A Lit Torch

Random little Halt headcanon I had for you guys.

So we all know how in Ruins of Gorlan Will's first impression of Halt is that is is 'old, scary and might kill me' right?

Another well known fact is that if you do the math for this series (which I 100% recommend you don't and instead spend all of your time ignoring both the timeline and character's ages) that Halt can't be older than 35.

Well this got me thinking how on earth does he have salt and pepper hair while being 35? And while yes I do know of people who start greying in their early 20's because of genes and stuff but like that is to boring for my hyperactive brain.

What you may or may not know is that vitamin B12 affects hair greying and pigmentation (at least I think this is in no way a total fact) so what if Halt was just really deficient in vitamin B12?

I don't know how they would've figured this out in medieval times and with their limited knowledge of medicine and stuff but just roll with me here.

Being deficient in B12 also can lead to mood swings and chronic tiredness so i like to think that during his childhood in Dun Kilty Halt was just always grumpy and tired but then he met Pritchard and Crowley and they were like 'you do realise this is because of a vitamin deficiency right?'

Obviously they helped him get sorted out or whatever and I for the first time in his live he felt what it was like to not be extremely tired ALL THE TIME and it was the most comical thing ever! Like his whole face probably lit up and he was like "I feel alive!?"

I love the idea that this was a really popular campfire story for several years and also the story the renegade rangers told Gilan and Will when they first became apprentices mainly to explain that no, halt is not old just vitamin deficient.

It was a whole thing when Will became an apprentice because Gilan kept telling him that all of Halt's grey hairs were because Gilan stressed him out so much during his apprenticeship (Something he would've been VERY proud of were it true) but Crowley stepped in and told him the truth.

You know those "I am not a robot" tests that some websites require? Well the autobots sure didn't. Ratchet is the first to find out. He's just doing some regular every-day stuff on the monitor (definitely not googling something one of the kids said because he didn't understand it even a little bit, shut up Miko), and suddenly this page full of jibberish pops up along with the little, "I'm not a robot" box. Naturally, Ratchet masks his confusion with pure rage, because how is he supposed to use this garbage earth technology when every resource requires him to copy down a word that isn't even there because it's literally just scribbles?????? After he learns what it is, he'll just angrily ask Raf to fill it in for him, though he is considerably insulted that this stupid little test works on beings as advanced as Cybertronians.

When Optimus first sees the test, he just freezes in complete confusion. He's completely bluescreened. The monitor told him to pick all of the pictures with the bicycles. He did that. How was he wrong. The screen told him to pick two items that are the same shape, but he is literally trembling, about to shut down like a microsoft computer because none of them are the same shape. How can they be the same shape if they're different colors aND DIFFERENT FUCKING SIZES-

Everyone looks at him in confusion when a static-electricity-like sound emanates from his head, and then he just slowly slumps to the ground because the confusion made his processor glitch, and the kids could practically hear the windows shutdown music as he just dropped to the floor. (This isn't the first or last time this has happened. This is the reason he doesn't try to understand the more confusing gen-z memes. If you've ever seen videos from Orion Zax on youtube, think the oven joke video, and that's literally just this. If you haven't, look it up, it's great)

You know a funny thing to think about is if cybertronians have some like, goofy ass software/hardware limitations.

Like those clothes designed to confuse ai image recognition, would they just not be able to comprehend what they're looking at like some eldrich monstrosity?

Or I've seen videos where someone is speaking polish but it's pronounced like it's english and I'm just imagining that shit messing with their translation software.

Would their vision bug out if they're near something radioactive like a camera would?

Feel free to add onto this if anyone has more thoughts.

This was requested by @scourge33 on tumblr, who said, "My request/idea would be a tickle fic with Al and Vox, Al being the lee? But not necessarily enemy torture mode. More as a nostalgic memory of their previous friendship. Or it takes place before they become enemies."

Ask and you shall receive my good fellow

I like to think that their relationship pre-fight was really sweet despite the constant bickering they would probably do lol, so I definitely tried to include that, and the result is this fluffy, violently adorable piece

This is a platonic SFW tickle fic, if that doesn't suit your tastes, then kindly keep scrolling

This little shit's been haunting my dash for days, so I figured I'd contribute to the cause

You know the drill, click the pictures for better quality, yadda yadda yadda

He's so terrible, I love him so much. I can't believe this little shit is the first fanart I'll ever post, wtf.

Oh my god!!!! This is adorable - and exactly what I pictured with my headcanon, I'm stealing this art, it's mine forever now

Thank you so much for making this, I love it so much

Shittily drawn comic again of an accidental Ler!Vox and Lee! Alastor

Based on @void-occupation ‘s AMAZING HEADCANON of Alastor’s tentacles being tichdhklish

Messing with Nifty's cleaning is the easiest way to get on her hit list, and Alastor learns that he isn't exempt from this rule.

OR

Alastor fucks around and finds out.

This is a platonic SFW tickle fic, if that isn't for you, feel free to scroll right on by

Don't mind me, just gotta put a little theory about gravity falls out into the world now that it's been revived

WARNING: minor Book of Bill spoilers

So in the BoB and the 3rd journal, Ford mentions that he needs to destroy the journals, but turns back on it because of "the importance of his research". However, he could have just torn out the pages about summoning Bill and the portal and burned those, and the rest of his research would have been safe

So why didn't he?

You could argue that it was because he couldn't reason through his growing paranoia and admittedly delusional state, and that is valid considering everything Bill was putting him through at that point - but it also would have been one of the first things to cross his mind, right??? He'd already said that he was planning to dismantle the portal, but was putting it off for some reason - again, something that didn't make any sense considering how terrified he was that Bill would be able to start it up again.

In the BoB, it talks about how Bill tormented Ford to try to get him to open the portal again - physical, psychological, and emotional torture on top of very real threats and gaslighting. There was also a point where Bill showed Ford that he could take full control of Ford's brain, turning off memories (such as his own name) at will, and Ford would be completely unable to tell that the memories were gone until Bill brought it up

So, here's my theory: Bill knew that Ford was planning to burn the journals/the pages about the portal, which were his only chance to enter the third dimension. He couldn't let that happen, so he fucked around in Ford's head - planted a few ideas, erased a plan or two, and suddenly, Ford was much more concerned about his research surviving than he was a couple hours ago. Concerned to the point that he wanted to hide his journals rather than destroy them. Basically, Ford being so protective of his research was due to more of Bill's manipulations in his mind that he never found out about. It's the only reason I could think of about why he went from 100% ready to burn the journals to being willing to physically attack Stan for trying to do just that

Anyways, that's all, figured I should get my theory out in the world now that canon actually backs it up a bit more than before BoB came out

Ok look, I KNOW that literally no one is happy about this picture, but hear me out:

If you use ✨edible glitter✨ and mix that into your coffee so it looks like those weird fancy wines ex:

I would totally drink that shit. I could wake up every morning and drink my Elixir of Divine Energy and feel like a witch/goddess/etc. I'd drink that in public and just leave everyone confused about wtf is in my cup. Anyways, this is why I think we shouldn't all immediately jump on the bandwagon that the glitter coffee is incurably evil and disgusting

Whatever you do, don't think about how the song "Remember Everything" by Five Finger Death Punch fits Halt and his childhood trauma to a T.

I'm not going to go into a full analysis. I'm not going to go into a full analysis. I'm not going to go into a full-

FULL ANALYSIS AHEAD (disclaimer: "Remember Everything" does not belong to me)

"Dear mother, I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. Dear father, forgive me. Cause in your eyes, I just never added up. In my heart I know I failed you, but you left me here alone."

Halt talks about how Ferris was the favorite child, and how his parents fought all the time. We all know by now about Halt's tendency to blame himself for things (as seen in "The Battle for Skandia" and "Erak's Ransom"). He probably blamed himself for his parents arguing all the time - hell, he literally said that he refused to tell his parents that Ferris was actively trying to kill him because he thought that Ferris was the only thing they cared about and he didn't want to take that away from them. Even though it was his choice, Halt was a kid. He probably felt at least a little bit abandoned and betrayed that his parents didn't seem to even notice anything amiss before Halt ran away.

"If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain? Cause I remember everything."

Something else that is touched on in the fourth book is Halt's tendency to deflect conversations that confront him on his fears and such. It's a fairly offhand note, but it has some pretty big implications. Halt has this need to make sure that everyone else is okay, while simultaneously ensuring that no one ever sees his suffering. He is constantly shielding other people, and feels guilty when he requires that same protection.

"Dear brother, just don't hate me for never standing by you, or being by your side."

I refuse to believe that Ferris was the murderous evil twin from the start. There was probably a very large portion of heir childhood where Halt and Ferris were close, before Ferris became obsessed with the crown. That would be a good reason why Halt only suspected Ferris later on. I feel like Halt would spend a lot of time telling himself that it was something he did that sent Ferris over the edge, and he would blame himself for the betrayal.

"Dear sister, please don't blame me. I only did what I thought was truly right."

I can't be the only one who thinks that Halt always regretted leaving Caitlyn behind, but he knew it was either that or kill Ferris, which is something I don't think he would ever be capable of doing. He loved his twin too much.

"It's a long and lonely road when you know you walk alone."

I know that Halt wasn't technically alone, and he became part of a massive found family, but not being able to tell anyone about the things he went though, and the people he left behind as well as his reasoning would have been isolating - if not crushing - for anyone. Hell, no one knew his real last name or anything about his past for just about 24 years. Not even mentioning the fact that when he finally admits it, he is 41 years old, so he has hidden this for well over half his life, not counting the 17 years he actually lived in Clonmel. That is a long time to carry around huge amounts of trauma without telling anyone who cares about you.

"I feel like running away, I'm still so far from home."

This one is fairly obvious. However, it is not talked about nearly enough that Halt is a runaway. Let that sink in for a second. What do you think of when you hear the term 'runaway' in reference to a child? For most, it's the thought of a kid escaping an abusive household and living on the streets with nothing but a backpack filled with belongings. That was what Halt did at 17. Except he had to go all the way to a foreign country to escape his situation. And the only person he ever saw from home again was the person who had made him leave in the first place.

"I'll burn it all to the ground before I let you in."

This is pretty much Halt's whole philosophy on showing any sort of emotion to people. He didn't smile around Will until months into his apprenticeship, and it took years until he was able to summon the courage to tell Will the truth about his mother. And again, the whole 24 years of absolute secrecy about his childhood doesn't exactly show someone that is willing to open themselves up to others.

"Please forgive me, I can't forgive you now."

Halt still blames himself for the rift between himself and Ferris, but he is also consumed by hurt and betrayal over the fact that Ferris cared more for the crown then he did his own brother, and I can't blame him even a little bit for feeling that way. Especially considering that when they do finally meet up again, Ferris shows no real sign of regret for his actions.

All-in-all, this just feels like a violently Halt-esque song. The pain and regret is something I think his character suffers a lot of, and this captures that really well.

If you made it to the end of that ungodly ramble, kudos to you because holy hell, I think I was temporarily possessed by the god of angst.

Me??? Projecting on Optimus Prime????? Blasphemy. Could never happen, you're being ridiculous. More likely than you'd think.