Mary: Does He Make You Laugh?

“They're gonna crucify me anyway. What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? […] Am I allowed to cry?”

But it’s Sirius Black’s last words to Remus Lupin.

I was scrolling - as you do - and saw someone posting their headcanons for different marauders characters and I saw that they add some underrated characters (Alice, Frank, Bellatrix, Rita ect)

And now I feel like an asshole cause I kinda forgot about them.. so none of them have been added to my headcanon posts.. so imma add them now cause I feel bad

“Your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me” but it’s the black family to their lovers.

Can I just say that the Potter men had the biggest and most muscular arms and thighs

“Guilty as Sin” IS Sirius Black’s song while he was in Azkaban thinking about Remus Lupin.

I like to think that Dorcas had a sick Animagus like a big tarantula or a panther like something scary and deadly. Like she is a scary person and can be very intimidating so obviously her animagus would be the same or maybe even scarier

She’d also use it to scare tf out of first years

“If you wanna break my cold, cold heart, just say, "I loved you the way that you were". If you wanna tear my world apart, just say you've always wondered” but it’s Wolfstar realising what they could’ve been.

“Letter to my 13 year old self”

But it’s actually James Potter.

James: we literally just met???

Barty: I would kill for you.

I show a post saying Barty went around telling everyone him and James were dating

so I wanted to make a little thingy

It probably started when someone was flirting with Barty and he wanted to get away and went: “shit I got to.. go see” *tries to think of something, mind goes to James* “my boyfriend!” (??). Then he keeps it going for shits and giggles, and then he panics when ppl ask him about it cause he doesn’t know why he thought of James out of everyone

———————————

A Ravenclaw: *flirting with Barty* so crouch.. I heard a little rumour that you fancy people with brains..

Barty: [who would rather be anywhere but there]

Barry: uhhh.. yeah I do, did you know Gryffindors are quite smart too? Like uhhh.. James Potter, for example, like his my boyfriend yk? and all-

Ravenclaw: ..what?

Ravenclaw: Oh. That’s cool I just thought- ykw nvm.

Barty: yeah you didn’t know that? We’re dating

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Hufflepuff: so Barty..

Hufflepuff: [flutters eyelashes, smirks and puts hand on Barry’s thigh]

Hufflepuff: what do you do even Quidditch is on? Do you go back to your dorm.. because I could tag along..

Barty: no, I don’t. I actually uh, I normally go hang out with my.. boyfriend, James Potter. Yk the one who your team lost to? The captain and prefect? The one-

Hufflepuff: .. I’ll go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Doesn’t even make sense cause James would either be playing or watching all the games, but Barty wasn’t thinking)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marlene: Barty!

Barty: what?

Marlene: what is it I’m hearing ‘bout you and Jamie?

Barty: ..

Barty: uhh, where’d you hear that?

Marlene: I was near some Hufflepuffs and heard a mention of it

Barty: why you snooping near Hufflepuffs?

Marlene: don’t change the subject. What’s the deal?

Barty: I needed an excuse to get away from ppl so yk.. I used him as an excuse

Marlene: why James tho? Wouldn’t Evan be more useful, cause you see him daily

Barty: .. James was just the first person I thought of

Marlene: ..

Barty: I guess

Marlene: ..alright then-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dorcas: Barty.. why?

Barty: ‘why’ what? I didn’t even do anything!

Dorcas: Oh, so running around saying your dating, Potter? Is nothing?

Barty: you heard that did ya?

Dorcas: of course I did, I hear everything. May as well call me “Rita fucking Skeeter”

Barty: okay I did! People were annoying me and I just said “My boyfriend needed me” and just threw Potter’s name in there so people would shut up and leave me alone!

Barty: god do people ever stop and leave me alone? Stop asking me about it god!

Dorcas: ..

Dorcas: okay.. my bad then

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~