Physical:

Doodled something silly. Enjoy.

After all these years living in my bipedal body you'd think i would have gotten used to walking upright by now, but no i definitely have not.

It's honestly still such a weird feeling, everything about it just feels so foreign and uncomfortable. Not like, literally physically something is wrong (I do suffer semi frequent back pain, though that's entirely unrelated), but there's no doubt in my mind that my brain is wired to be operating a quadrupedal body, not bipedal. Being upright 24/7 goes against my instincts so intensely, it's one of the main reasons I first realized I was a therian.

Even in my current body, with my short neck and weak arms, it still feels more natural and normal to move on all fours than it does to move on two. It's like there's emergency alarms constantly going off in the back of my brain telling me that something isn't right, almost like that sinking feeling you get when you realize you're seriously injured. It's so jarring.

In a perfect world, I would love to be able to regularly move around using a combination of quadrobics and bipedal movements, kind of like alexias.films over on instagram if you know her. Maybe one of these days i'll work up the nerve to do public quads, there's so many cool places around my city id love to practice at

🐅 and 🐞!

🐅 ➤ Sort of? I usually only dress in natural/earthy colors which might be connected to my therianthropy in someway, as for specific theriotypes tho not really. If im feeling particularly connected to my canine types I might wear a tail or dress more masculine, but other than that no I dress pretty much the same all the time.

🐞 ➤ Yep! I have shifts from time to time. Mental, phantom, and dream shifts are the ones I experience. Most of the time they're canine centric.

Mental shifts are pretty uncommon, at least the ones that are actually intense enough for me to realize they're happening lol. I'll have them maybe once every few months. The ways I feel/act depend on what triggered the shift or what environment I was in when it happened, but usually I'll become energetic and more aware of my surroundings, I think less in actual thoughts and more so in basic emotions/instincts, I want to be away from humans and civilization, sometimes i'll have an increased prey drive or become more aggressive, and speaking feels uncomfortable. It's both a fun and annoying experience; fun because i feel more in tune with myself and feel physically stronger, annoying because usually when it happens im not in a place/situation where I can indulge it so I have to ignore it and act normal to the best of my abilities until it goes away.

Phantom Shifts really only happen when I meditate, or my body is otherwise relaxed (like when Im trying to sleep). The most common limb I'll feel are paws in place of my hands, but Ive also felt paws on my feet, a muzzle, wings on my back, and fangs. The best way I can describe how they feel is like wearing a glove or a shoe. Even though it technically isn't part of your body, you can still feel it attached to you, and if someone touched it you'd still be able to feel it.

Dream Shifts are the least common but most enjoyable shifts I have. Oddly, Im rarely physically nonhuman during these shifts, rather Im just able to run on all fours really fluidly, fly, vocalize, and/or in a mental shift mindset. I've always had extremely vivid and lifelike dreams where I can see, hear, and feel almost everything (both a blessing and a curse), so it's nice being able to feel almost fully nonhuman for once.

Personally, I actually really like these kinds of stuffed animals! :D They're my favorite kind, and whenever I get a new one I carry it around with me everywhere for a minimum of 2 weeks. Dont get me wrong, floppy softer ones are great as well and are probably more practical if you're trying to actually play with it, but firmer, more stuffed ones feel much easier to squeeze and hold in my opinion. And with their extra weight/firmness they feel almost like the stuffy version of a weighted blanket to me! No hate whatsoever to op ofc, just thought id share my thoughts bc i honestly thought everyone felt this way lol

one thing ive noticed about newer stuffed animals is theyre more rigid. like a lot of the stuffed animals i had as a kid were floppy and easy to pose and play with, but a lot of stuffed animals now are like stiff and overstuffed so they retain a specific shape. and a lot of them feel like theyre just for display, not for a child to actually interact with. like even beanie boos vs beanie babies (no hate to beanie boos) beanie babies were floppy and beanie boos have their shape and theyre not gna move

having a prey species theriotype that hasnt been deemed cute or desirable by humans (especially if they also happen to be a keystone species) really sucks sometimes because it's like "im in a really shifty mood rn, let me go look at some pictures or watch some documentaries about my theriotype to feel more in touch with it! :3" and then it's just

*theriotype being hunted*

*theriotype being mutilated by predators*

*theriotype being eaten alive*

*theriotype starving*

*theriotype carcasses*

*theriotype baby drowning*

*theriotype infected with disease*

*theriotype with half of face ripped off*

✶ DRACONIC GLORY ✶

[ * ARHRRGRGHJRGHRGH this is finally DOOOONEEEEE ]

[ * I've never done such rendering with this method before (painted it and picked the colors by hand in a layer above the sketch/lineart and base color layer) and it turned out SO SO WELL ]

[ * I also wanted to give it a touch of computer-screen-ish-look because that just adds so nicely ]

[ * Took 8 hours in total, drawn on Krita along with a Wacom Intuos S tablet ]

[ * Feels nice to draw my dragon kintype :} i haven't really done a fully-rendered drawing of myself in a while ]

[ * Also a small attempt at poetry... alterhuman poetry.... i don't really write poetry so apologies if it's wonky :P but i'm personally happy about it! ]

Being trans nonbinary is so annoying because my brain is like "We have dysphoria, let's transition so we can pass!"

Pass as what?

It's so stupid hard to "pass" as androgynous to the general public. It's this obnoxiously thin line that feels completely out of reach to get to, at least not without giving up other forms of gender expression that feel euphoric to me. I wouldn't even mind not being fully androgynous, if nothing else I just want to make people stop and think for a second before they inevitably go ahead and misgender me anyways.

It sucks that the best I can hope for in terms of transition is confusion. I see trans binary folks talking about the euphoria they get from passing and being accepted in society as their true gender, having the ability to go stealth. And I desperately want that too. I wish people weren't so hellbent on sorting others into binaries at all costs, and I wish there was hrt that could make me androgynous without giving me other traits that I dont want (ex. facial hair, bottom growth, heavily masculine voice). I literally just want to be seen as who I actually am and it's crushing knowing Im probably never going to get to have that.

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!