Xdeletethekissesx - No Minors Please

To The Bone (2017) dir. Marti Noxon

Today was my first time really drinking an energy drink and I have to say, the buzz is pretty nice 😄

all i can think about is how everything is on hold until i’m skinny. does anyone relate like?? this isn’t real like this doesn’t count i’m not a person until i’m thin

The need to look like this is actually killing me…

Mainly because I know it won’t happen anytime soon 😭 even if I restrict and fast as much as I can, it’s still gonna take time. Ugh, this sucks

(Pictures found on Pinterest)

One day I will look like this… a promise to myself

(Picture found on Pinterest)

I genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna survive this next week while he’s off before he starts his new job on the 24th 😫 can’t fast until then & can’t really restrict much either… I hate this… ugh

Now the question is whether I should finish fasting at lunch time tomorrow and have like a bowl of soup or something and whatever my boyfriend decides on for dinner when he gets back. Orrr whether I should just carry on fasting until dinner time tomorrow… really not sure 🤔

No idea how I’m gonna cope during my 48 hour fast though 😅 recently I’ve been exhausted by like 4pm despite sleeping pretty well, and that’s with me eating three decent meals a day (kinda have to while my boyfriend was off). The lack of energy while I’m fasting might literally kill me

Also dreading this weekend because it’s his birthday on Friday and this idiot promised to bake him a birthday cake 🤦🏼‍♀️ and he wants to go out for a meal on Saturday as well…

And before anyone says anything:

No, I don’t 100% trust him

I have very good reason for that

I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to deal with the fact he now has a work phone that I can’t access

My boyfriend just got back home, by the way

I should be happy… but I’m just anxious af