This Is Me. All The Time Now. So Many Emotions AND THE BLOODY SEASON HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET.

Oh, is it time for the pre-season 'the season is terrible' dreams? I had at least 3 before season 2. One was that the season was actually a board game.

I dreamed the first trailer for The Bad Batch s3 dropped and we found out they recast Dee Bradley Baker. Each bad batch member had a different voice actor and the characters sounded NOTHING like the previous seasons. It was so bad. I was genuinely so upset I considered not watching the last season. I was like "really you're gonna let us down THIS HARD on THE LAST SEASON"

I have been betrayed. Bamboozled. Hurt.

I have just witnessed my beloved cat, whose name is Phee, BAT MY SEASON 2 BLACK SERIES TECH OFF OF HIS SHELF.

HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME? HAVEN'T I SEEN HIM FALL ENOUGH???

Why I Personally See Tech as Good Representation as an Autistic Viewer

Obligatory disclaimer: I don’t speak for every other autistic person, and this post is based on my opinions, experiences, and feelings. Not all autistic viewers will feel the same way, and that is absolutely okay. I am also not claiming that Tech is 100% perfect representation or that we don’t need more diverse autistic representation in general. I am, however, saying that for me, he is overwhelmingly positive representation.

Tech is allowed to be a character and his autism isn’t made his only defining trait. Yes, Tech absolutely has autistic traits and they do come up in-text, but his character development focuses more on his journey from a regimented military life to life on the run with a young child. This isn’t the nine millionth “heartwarming” inspiration porn story about an autistic protagonist doing “normal people” things “in spite of their autism”, and that’s so refreshing to me.

Tech isn’t looked down upon by the narrative. He isn’t a caricature followed around by a laugh track like Sheldon Cooper, and the narrative doesn’t treat him as *~inspiring~* for just doing things that allistic characters do. The framing around him doesn’t feel like it’s designed to be a voyeuristic invitation for neurotypical viewers to laugh and gawk. Tech is just Some Guy, and it’s awesome.

Tech isn’t portrayed as a burden. Yes, his disability does sometimes make communication more difficult for him (see The Crossing), but the other characters aren’t shown ruminating about how things would just be so much easier if he weren’t around. He is instead portrayed as being an integral and capable part of the team.

Tech is allowed to be an adult. Autistic adults are often stereotyped as “eternal children”, but Tech isn’t given that kind of treatment at all. He takes on a parental role with Omega, and is shown having drinks, dating, piloting, and engaging in combat. The fact that he is the only member of his team to have a love interest is also huge, because autistic adults are often treated like non-sexual entities incapable of understanding romance.

Tech is caring. Yes, he can be sarcastic and a bit bitchy when he’s in a bad mood (and I love that for him), but he is shown to care deeply for his family. When you google “can autistic people…”, one of the autocomplete options is “can autistic people love”. People genuinely think that we are unable to love others, and Tech loving so fiercely on screen directly refutes that.

While Tech fits some autistic stereotypes, he subverts others. Yes, he’s an intelligent, tech-savvy man, but he also an outgoing and confident person. He doesn’t often belittle others for not being “smart enough” and is shown to be physically capable and strong. Yeah, he is a STEM oriented dude, but he doesn’t get the “scrawny mean, and insecure guy” baggage that often comes with these types of autistic characters. He’s also a person of color (albeit a whitewashed one), and the general stereotype is that autistic people are all little white boys.

I know the finale has left us feeling things (and I one day might share my thoughts on them, but honestly staying off of most social media platforms around this time has been really good for my mental), so let's go back to an episode many of us loved: The Crossing. Here's an excellent analysis of the episode looking at it through the 'Tech is autistic' lens.

GOT THAT PREORDER IN.

If they have Tech deliver a baby, I can die happy. And if they have clone confusion about the Birds and the Bees??? PLEASE.

And just...just give me Tech and Phee. Please. I just miss them so so much. And Tech and Omega. And Tech and Wrecker. And Tech and Hunter. And Tech in general.

WAKE UP TECHPHEE NATION!!!!!!!

GUYS GUYS GUYS Last year my sisters got me a commission from the one and only @lornaka to make a cover for my fic, and it's finished, right in time for the end of my hiatus!!! LOOK AT IT IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL I'M GOING TO CRY!!!

All credits go to the wonderful @lornaka, as if I could ever draw something this amazing.

Executive Cucumber's Thoughts on the Bad Batch Season 3, Episode 5, The Return!

(And I'm doing this instead of sleeping)

Spoilers after the break

Notes may not be in order

At first I was a little disappointed that we didn't start immediately after the end of the last episode, but I think I prefer it. We can have the reunion any way we want now. It's possible that the writers thought that they would all just awkwardly and quietly get on the Marauder and fly off and they knew we would be disappointed by that. So they left it to us to imagine what happened next. I think that's also why they didn't show Crosshair finding out about Tech. For them, Crosshair might just stay silent, or disassociate or something and we wouldn't be satisfied. But now we get to imagine all kinds of angst for when that happened.

Oh, the contrast between Omega waking up on Pabu and on Tantiss. SHE DESERVES THIS SO MUCH.

Aww AZ really loves Omega.

Okay, but how did Crosshair accept the fruit? Did he say thank you? I NEED TO SEE CROSSHAIR BE AWKWARD AROUND NORMAL PEOPLE.

I honestly think Crosshair wants to train Omega as his replacement if he can't get over his hands.

Wrecker and Hunter just blatantly watching them is amazing.

MOM'S HOME

Crosshair's sass is everything to me in this episode.

I honestly think that Echo is the only one who really talks about Tech out loud because he's the only one of them who has experienced loss before. He knows how to handle it. The others...do not.

STOP MAKING CROSSHAIR GO TO COLD PLACES, ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT COLD PLACE TRAUMATIZED HIM

'Little brother' oh my gosh they are my everything.

I expected Crosshair to love Omega, but he ADORES her and I am here for it. I'm also here for the fury for when she is inevitably captured again.

Hunter, you are a butt. I still love you.

HIS ARMOR. YES. YES. YES.

'It still fits' it might not have because he was so skinny and that is devastating.

Oh my gosh Hunter and Crosshair's arguing is everything I could have wanted.

'Kill each other later' Echo I love you.

I love that Batcher is just a member of the Batch now. Also, Hunter, get your senses in order the dog is doing your job.

THE HELMETS. AAAAAAAAAGH.

Hunter: sees Crosshair tenderly arranging helmets

Also Hunter: this is unreasonably suspicious

TOOTHPICKS YES

HIS TREMBLING HAAAANDS

Ugh I love Crosshair and Hunter's fight so much. Crosshair isn't just pushing Hunter's buttons, he's legitimately angry that Hunter let Omega get captured and go through what she did. And then there's the beautiful subtext of 'you let Tech die.'

Crosshair and Batcher are best duo.

THE SNOW IS SO GORGEOUS

CROSSHAIR SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE TECH HE EVEN SAYS 'OMEGA' THE SAME WAY.

This is their get-along-worm.

Wrecker hugging Crosshair and Hunter may be one of my favorite things ever.

'There's no blood.' I am requesting all fic writers to provide me with a plethora of fics featuring Hunter and Crosshair fighting to bloodshed, ranging from angst to the stupidest argument ever.

CROSSHAIR YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU OPENED UP.

Okay after Hunter said he did things he regretted too I'm now convinced that he has committed so many war crimes in trying to find Omega. Wrecker has nightmares about it.

I can't remember where, but Crosshair's theme was played in the major key!!! LET HIM BE HAPPY

Crosshair is such a joy to watch this episode. This is who he is and it really contrasts with chipped Crosshair.

I miss Tech so much. I want to see him in this dynamic. I also want to see Crosshair and Phee's dynamic.

I mean this in the most complimentary way possible: this episode felt like a fanfiction. The focus on their interactions and emotions feels like something we'd get from a fic rather than Canon. And I love every moment of it.

I adore seasons 1 and 2, but there were definitely episodes I preferred over another. This season has been 10/10 for me so far. And once more I have to wait a FREAKING week for more.

Mobile Google Docs is a COWARD.

Rexsoka Week 2021 Day 5: Show Me Your Dark Side

Honestly, I’m considering fleshing this one out into a full fic.

Day 5: Show Me Your Dark Side

Commander Rex stood at the communications station. He was not supposed to be here, but as both Lord Vader's and the First Sister's favored pet, few would challenge him. Rex never thought he'd be grateful for that position, especially now that he was leaking information to the Rebels. But it gave him protection from the clone-hating higher ups, like Tarkin, who would have him killed in a moment.

Rex tried to look business-like as he entered the frequency for whoever received his information. Part of him clung to a hope that it was his brothers that used his knowledge to fight against the Empire. He had been able to wake up from the chip; surely there were others.

"This is King." He muttered into the receiver. "Sending coordinates for Imperial supply rendezvous now." 

He entered the data stick that would wipe itself after it transferred the information. He waited, tense as it uploaded the coordinates.

"Coordinates received." A distorted voice crackled through the comm. "Thank you, King." 

"May the Force be with you." Rex said before shutting the comm off.

It was easy to erase the logs of his communication. He crushed the datastick under his heel and threw it down the garbage chute. He sent a few sanctioned messages before turning to the doorway.

It was occupied.

The First Sister's sickly yellow eyes narrowed as Rex met her gaze.

"My lady." Rex said calmly, though his heart was in his mouth. "Do you need something?"

"What were you doing?" Her voice was harsh.

"I was sending communications to-"

"Don't lie to me, Commander."

Rex stood straight as she stalked around him. 

"Did you think we haven't noticed?" She hissed in his ear. "Your work is sloppy and obvious. You think Lord Vader and I will protect you. You are wrong."

A lightsaber ignited behind him and Rex tried not to flinch.

"Why now?" Rex asked, hit with a surge of boldness. "If you've known this whole time, why only now?"

The First Sister did not immediately run him through.

"It is the Emperor's will." She said softly, sounding more like herself than Rex had heard in months.

Then Rex was correct. She, along with Vader, had tolerated his treachery out of, if not affection, respect for their previous bonds. Rex slowly turned to again meet her gaze.

"Ahsoka-"

"That is not my name!" She hissed.

"You know this is wrong." Rex plowed on. "You've always known."

Silence.

"I thought you were above stalling for your own life, Commander." She said.

"I'm not stalling for mine." Rex said. "I'm trying to save yours."

She once again didn't respond.

"This isn't who you are, Ahsoka." Rex said. This time she didn't protest the use of her old name. "You're like me. We are meant to protect."

"There is no turning back." Ahsoka said. "The person I was is dead. It's- too late for me, Rex."

Rex shook his head. He refused to believe the woman he had loved was gone.

"I don't think it is." Rex said. "And I don't think you're going to kill me."

For a moment, Rex thought he was wrong. Her eyes grew hard and she lifted her sabers. 

Rex tried not to shake as he reached past the red blades to touch her face. Immediately she closed her eyes against his touch and her lightsabers lowered. They shut off.

"I can't, Rex." She whispered. "You know what we've- what I've done."

"I can be with you." Rex said. "I'll help you. We can undo the harm we've caused."

Pain crossed Ahsoka's face. Rex could see her slipping back under into the shroud of the First Sister.

“Ahsoka-” Rex pleaded, desperate to keep her here with him.

“So, you have caught the traitor in the act.”

The deep voice of Vader made Rex’s blood freeze. He barely turned his head to see the imposing figure of his general in the doorway.

“Why do you hesitate?” Vader said. “The Emperor has ordered his death.”

Ahsoka’s lightsabers ignited again. Rex closed his eyes and readied himself for her strike.

It did not come.

“He’s been leaking information to the Rebellion.” Ahsoka said. “There is much he could tell us.”

“The Emperor was clear in his instructions.” Vader’s voice was flat. “If you are too weak to do it, then I will.”

He ignited his own lightsaber. Rex flinched as the red blade swung towards him. It was caught by Ahsoka’s sabers. Ahsoka stumbled back, as Vader lifted his blade. She seemed surprised by what she had done.

“You are not only weak, but a traitor as well.” Vader said. 

“No, Master, I did not mean-” Ahsoka stammered. “His information is beneficial to us! Master-”

She sounded like the padawan Rex had first met on Christophsis.

“I had deluded myself into believing you would not be a disappointment.” Vader went on. “I should have trusted my instincts.”

Rex did not expect the pain that flashed across Ahsoka’s face. Nor did he expect Vader to raise his hand and hurl Rex backwards into the wall of screens. Rex let out a strangled shout and then darkness fell.

Rex woke with a throbbing headache. His training kicked in and he forced his eyes open regardless. The first thing he saw was the glowing streaks of hyperspace and the dashboard of a ship. He was propped up in the co-pilot's chair of a Lambda-class Imperial shuttle. He knew who would be in the pilot's seat, but he still slowly turned his head.

Ahsoka was silently controlling the craft. What he could see of her face was pale, but her hands were steady. She was turned slightly away from him and he couldn't see her eyes.

"Ahsoka?" Rex asked.

"How do you feel?" There was something in her voice that hadn't been there since before the Empire rose to power.

Rex reached his hand up to feel the back of his head. His fingers met bacta patches.

"Like I've been thrown against a wall of screens." He said.

Ahsoka was silent.

"I'm sorry." She finally said. "I should have realized he would have gone for you.”

“It’s okay.” Rex said. “How- how did we survive?”

He had served under Vader long enough to know that few escaped his wrath.

Ahsoka shrugged.

“I knew there was a storage bay beneath that room. I managed to cut through the floor and grab you. I was able to lose him there. You know he can’t move that quickly.”

Rex nodded slowly.

“Thank you.” He said.

She didn’t reply. For a moment Rex let the silence hold, but eventually he needed to know.

"Where are we going?" 

"Away." 

"From where?" Rex asked.

"Everything. The Empire, the Rebellion, all of it." Ahsoka said.

Rex sat up straighter. This- wasn't what he expected. He supposed it was foolish to think she would turn back into the idealistic young woman he had known. Too much had happened to them.

"Ahsoka, we don't have to run away." He said. "There's good we could do."

"No." Ahsoka said. "No, the Empire is searching for us. We would do more harm."

"Ahsoka-"

"You're all I have left." Ahsoka said. 

She turned to look at him. One of her eyes shone a soft blue at him. The other was still a sharp yellow.

Rex was suddenly glad they were not going to the Rebellion.

"Okay." Rex said. "Okay. We'll lay low."

For a while. He added in his head. They would have to do something about that eye. Rex wasn't very knowledgeable about the Force, but he knew Ahsoka's eyes had changed when she had.

But he was confident that he would be able to turn her to the Rebellion's cause.

She leaned forward to take his hand. She studied it for a moment, before pressing it to her lips. He shivered at the touch.

"I will protect you." She said against his skin. "I won't let them have you."

Rex cupped her cheek with his other hand. He swiped his thumb across the white markings of her cheek. He relished in having her back..

But the back of his mind shuddered at her words. Protect him from what? And at what cost?

Check it out and my ongoing Rexsoka fics on A03!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34125910/chapters/85106296

https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExecutiveCucumber/works

Rexsoka Week 2021 Day 1: Boredom

I finally worked up the courage to post my fics on Tumblr for Rexsoka week. I’ll be posting every day for each prompt. These will all be SFW, but I’ll let you know if there’s anything I think might be a problem.

Today’s is just a drabble. Some will be longer, but I don’t think any are shorter than this.

Here we go!

Day 1: Boredom

Rex had imagined the end of the war countless times. He had imagined cheering and shouts of joy. He'd imagined new lives for his brothers and change. He'd imagined rest.

It hadn't been any of that. Instead of cheering, his brothers had been silenced. Instead of new lives, the clones were worked until their usefulness ran out. Instead of rest, they had been given pain.

Rex tried not to dwell on any of that. He tried to focus on his life with the few brothers he had left on Seelos.

Unfortunately, that left him with another unexpected result of the end of the war: boredom.

"What's the matter, Rex?" Gregor asked cheerfully.

Rex looked up from his work on upgrading the cooling system; Seelos could get hot.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You keep sighing over there." Wolffe said.

"I guess I'm a bit bored." Rex confessed.

"Bored?" Gregor asked. "How're you bored? You've been busy all day!"

"You manage to find the most to do out of the three of us." Wolffe said. "Just today you've recalibrated the steering, checked the legs, and now this."

Rex shrugged and refocused on his work. He was bored, there was no other way to describe it.

He had never been bored in the GAR, especially with Commander Tano around. She had made writing and reading reports enjoyable.

No, that was a lie. He had been bored, when she wasn't there. The time after she had left the Order had been wrought with boredom, but not at the level Rex felt now.

He wished being bored wasn't so painful. It was a gnawing at his heart, making him lie awake at night. He tried to relieve the symptoms by thinking of the Commander, but it always seemed to make it worse. Probably because he knew if she were here, things wouldn't be so dull. 

If the Galaxy were free and he didn't have his brothers to look after, Rex would take a ship and just go. He'd probably go wherever Commander Tano was. Yes, that felt right.

But as it were, he had to learn to live with his boredom. That aching, tormenting boredom that felt like a piece of his heart was missing.

Yes, that was the word.

Boredom.

Check it out and my other on going Rexsoka fics on my A03!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34125910/chapters/84903028

https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExecutiveCucumber/works