You Have Access To Their Phone; If You Want Secrets, Why Not Just Look Through Their Apps/browsing History?

DAMN you've been busy since i logged off

I woke up to 99+ notifications and I feel so special I am at inner peace(but my ankle isn't)

Poor guy. Ask admin to give you access.

SHES BUSY.

Awww cmon, are you really scared of a triangle? What’s he gonna do, poke ya in the eye with one of his angles? besides, these seemingly innocent symbols he’s drawing COULD be the key to the answers if the universe.. or something.

Fine, geez, I'll ask him again. But only once. Even without being scared it's just common courtesy not to push things!

hey bill, whats your favorite food out of what the human has given you so far? also do you have a requested food that you would like the human to give you?

DORITOS. COOL RANCH. OBVIOUSLY.

SPAGHETTI. ILL GET MY WISH SOON.

if he's gonna stay at your house you could probably get him a cardboard box or make him a house out of cardboard, just fill it with soft stuff and he will love it. he likes to hide sometimes but don't let him get to far you know?

I think he's good with sleeping on the chaise, but ill re-set up the cat box for him so he has options. Good idea!

I FEEL STABBY. STAB. STAB. STAB. DIE. DIE. DIE. EVERYTHING. DIE. WE'LL FIND YOU. WE'RE UNSTOPPABLE.

Every dumb thing I say just imagine an airpod low battery noise and a book hitting me in the head

hey bill, do you have a favorite out of the knifes that you've found (for not particular reason...)

THE BIGGEST ONE. DUH. WHY.

you should probably make some sandwiches from him and his friends, remeber no crust. its the way he likes it. also if you can still make/get some brownies that would be great. everyone will probably love those, who wouldn't

Guh. I'm gonna ask him about said friends... but sandwiches without crust. Like a toddler would want it?