Latest Posts by zodixyz - Page 5

Having a dissociative disorder feels so weird BC you just kinda go from being super smart and self aware to atfdvbvdf brain melt gfcvhugfc only one brain cell left in seconds

experienced a trauma recently? you may be entitled to: a new fucking guy in your head

Heres a reminder for you that being dissociated isn't limited to the common misconception where you are frozen in place, incapable of doing anything or even thinking, or experiencing a significant time gap,, those things. (This is a very important post, read till bottom so im happy!)

And while its hard to spot the milder signs when you're dissociating, don't worry i got you covered by bringing awareness, im showing what those signs could look like:

Dazing/blanking out several times

Hands looking weird (depersonalization)

Surroundings also looking weird (derealization)

Feeling detached emotionally, physically, or both

Light-headedness

Less reactive in responding

Forget things more often

Unable to focus or keep concentration straight

And many more..!

When you have multiple of those signs at once, then chances are you are dissociating (extra note that it can also co-occur with derealization/depersonalization). While it can be caused by various factors, i would like to add that it may or may not get worse as time passes and no one wants that thing to snowball until it got too bad (remember, preventing now is better than dealing later) so having a few tips would help:

Grounding (sensory): listening to music, feeling different textures, paying attention to things in your surroundings, trying different fragrant or scents, have some snacks to occupy your senses

Grounding (physically): feel your chest as you breathe, get your body moving to redirect focus, splash some cold water, hold something you can squeeze (such as a stress ball)

Practice being mindful. As it can help you re-anchor back to reality faster, regulate better, building more resilience, increasing awareness of oneself's state

Sometimes we go do our day without giving a thought that were detached from reality, usually by going autopilot and scrolling through social medias without being aware (well, atleast for me) and forget lots of things while being dysregulated at the end. So by being aware of the mild signs and incorporating grounding skills im sure memory gaps and those funny aftermath stuffs won't be a problem anymore, have a good day peeps.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that another sign is your hearing feels muffled, that you can hear sounds feel more distant despite close, i thought it could be grouped with the “less reactive” before.

EDIT 2: It is true that sometimes these techniques will not work,, so it's recommended to create a peaceful environment in hopes of going away sooner when waiting it out. grab some videos to watch, put some of your favorite musics or cuddle your soft pillows (if any, pets) and stay comfy! Do not stress about it because it'll be counterproductive. Full explanation at here.

- j

ah fuck (said politely but also horrified)

PSA: If you are using Pluralkit or Tubberbox, go save your avatar files NOW.

Discord has been implementing a feature where direct links to images uploaded to Discord will no longer work after 24 hours. If you want more information, please check out this post by twilight-sparkle-irl. As Pluralkit and Tubberbox both use the direct links for images uploaded to discord for member avatars, this will likely affect these two bots.

I've talked to the Pluralkit devs and they have informed me that Pluralkit and Tubberbox devs are in talks with Discord to see how this will affect the bots. No updates as of yet but once I hear anything I'll update this post.

In the meanwhile, I highly suggest everyone to save alter avatars if they can. I'll be providing a link to an external tool that you can use in the reblogs of this post.

UPDATE: One of the helpers/mods for Pluralkit/Tupperbox has made a post about the situation. I definitely recommend people to read it when they can. If Tumblr breaks the link, I have a reblogged version of this post with the link there.

So we definitely need more positive representation of DID, but you know what would be funny? Mildly inconvenient representation of DID.

Oh the world is ending and you need to know about this one specific thing? Yeah I have a guy for that but he doesn't feel like fronting right now

Sorry what's happening rn is this the bad guy? Yeah I just switched in idk what's going on

I know you're dating one alter but we're currently co-con with another alter who hates you so idk how I'm feeling rn

And just who do i think I am? It's funny you should ask that I actually don't know right now

dude, I wish there was a cane user emoji, I'm not blind so I don't want to use that one but I'm also not a wheelchair user, for the most part I can get around fine with my cane. There was a period of time where it was hurting me, but I hadn't properly adjusted it back after my fiance used it when she'd hurt herself (she's taller than I am so I'd adjusted it out as much as I could)

I feel like a frail old man at 19

art of ppl using canes makes me so happy i'm like ":O 🫵 I DO THAT"

i always, always, ALWAYS immediately go "what do you mean?"

because then they have to explain what they mean and what they're asking for and usually

the explanation makes them embarrassed or confused enough to stop asking :)

Some funny/less paltable things you can say when people invasively ask why you have a mobility aid!

"It's a weapon."

Ignore them

Something dramatic like "Oh I was attacked by a shark" or "I got caught in a zombie apocalypse"

"It's to spice up my outfit"

"I tried to build an army of insert favorite animal and they turned on me :("

"What insert mobility aid?"

"Why do you have an insert mobility aid?"

"Why do you not have an insert mobility aid"

"Do I know you?"

"Yeah I guess I just couldn't wait for my 60s"

RB/comment your go-to when somebody asks about your mobility aid!

well obviously, i am an 80 year old child with autism according to ... "the internet"... Dr. Google said so :D /j

Google when I look for advice for my autism: "How to deal with Your CHILD WITH AUTISM."

Google when I look at advice for cane user stuff: "Canes for old people. What to do when you're 80 and your joints hit the shitter.

I am screaming and hitting the wall just give me advice I can actually use.

Hi guys! Here’s some advice from a cane user on how to spot a fake cane user/disability faker!

YOU CANT

You can not spot a “fake disabled” cane user. You can not know if someone’s “really disabled”, much less by just looking at them. Here are some common misconceptions.

“Cane users always need their canes. If they walk without it or put it away when it’s inconvenient, they’re faking”: WRONG! Many cane users are what we call “ambulatory” cane users. This means they don’t always need their canes to walk. I’m an ambulatory cane user, and I experience really horrible leg pain on the daily. However, I don’t always use my cane, and when I don’t need to walk or stand a lot in a certain place I don’t use it. And when I do use it, I may lift it off the ground or carry it in places that are sandy, gravelly, or otherwise hinder my cane.

“Cane users walk abnormally without their canes, someone who walks normally without their cane is faking”: WRONG! Many ambulatory cane users can walk in a way that seems “normal”. This doesn’t mean they’re not in pain, or not “really disabled”. This just means that their condition doesn’t cause a noticeable difference in walking, and likely manifests in a different way.

“Cane users always need their cane, someone who doesn’t use their cane at home is faking”: WRONG! Cane users may not use their canes at home, because at home they may be able to do things like sit down wherever and whenever, regain more spoons, and use other mobility aids. Additionally, some ambulatory cane users only need or use their canes when they are doing something physically taxing, like going on a hike or standing in a long line.

“My cane user friend told me this person looks like they’re faking, so it must be true”: WRONG! Being a cane user doesn’t immediately make you an expert on all different conditions and experiences. Your friend does not know the random cane user walking down the street, they are going off looks and stereotypes. Disabled people are not immune to being ableist.

“They enjoy their cane too much/they’re too happy/they decorate their cane, so they can’t actually be in enough pain to need a cane” WRONG! We’re people like everyone else, and we experience positive emotions too, even if we go through a lot of pain. To me, customizing my cane is like getting a tattoo or putting streaks in my hair, it’s a way of self expression. And we deserve to be able to talk openly about our full experience, which include the parts we’re neutral or happy about.

“They’re one of those cringey teenagers who name themselves arson and like dsmp, so they’re probably faking” WRONG! Do I even have to explain why saying someone isn’t disabled because of their name and interests is messed up and also stupid? Or did you already know that and just wanted to make fun of a disabled teenager?

“They’re too young to be using a cane, so they must be faking” WRONG! there are lots of disabilities or injuries that can cause young people to need a mobility aid. For example, I use a cane for my fibromyalgia.

“They only use it in private places, and never in places where people recognize them, so they must be faking” WRONG! In a world where anyone can just randomly take out their phone, take a picture of a cane user, and post them online to be made fun of, it can be stressful to use a cane in public areas. Also, they may not want people to ask questions, or they may feel embarrassed about it.

“I saw them switch hands, so they must be faking” WRONG! There are different reasons a cane used might do this, but I’m going to use my experience as an example. My fibromyalgia is not consistent. Sometimes one leg hurts more then the other. But as I said, fibromyalgia is inconsistent, and sometimes my other leg will start to hurt more or need more support, which is when I switch hands. And when both my legs hurt equally, I may switch my hand if it’s getting too sore.

“They told me they feel like they’re faking when they use their cane, doesn’t that mean they don’t really need it?” WRONG! Imposter syndrome is strong in a lot of disabled people, especially when for a lot of our lives we were told by doctors that we were fine and just being dramatic. Anxiety is also comorbid with a lot of physically disabilities, which only strengthens this. To add to this, something that I’ve felt and seen other disabled people talk about it, when their disability aid lessens the pain, they start thinking “well I’m not in that much pain so I don’t really need it” even though the reason they’re not in that much pain is because of the aid. I know it seems dumb, but imposter syndrome can be that strong and affects disabled people a lot.

“They don’t have a diagnosis, so they must be faking” WRONG! First of all, diagnoses are expensive. On their own they’re often already expensive, but counting the tons of tests you have to take to confirm the diagnosis? Absolutely ludicrous. Some may also choose not to get a diagnosis, so that they don’t have to deal with the prejudice and setbacks of being diagnosed. Also, some people use a cane for injuries, and for stress or fatigue related pains.

These are only a few of the things I commonly hear from fakeclaimers, and I wanted to just put out a reminder that fakeclaiming hurts the disabled community much, much more than it does ableists. Next time you see someone with a cane switch hands, or someone with a wheelchair stand up, or someone with crutches put them down, before you immediately call them out to a friend, take a picture, or write a post: does your fakeclaim rely on stereotypes? Are your reasons things that apply to ambulatory aid users?

If so, just stop. Be mindful. Please.

Disability will have you thinking shit like “I’m not even that disabled. I can manage as long as I limit myself to very specific careers, never go shopping for more than an hour or two at a time, keep my plans open so I can cancel and stay in if need be, and only go out a few nights per week at the most”

my utopia has disability in it. my utopia includes free healthcare and no-questions welfare and state-funded carers. my utopia includes building requirements that centre disabled bodies — ramps and lifts and dimmer switches and braille signs. my utopia has disability in it. because without disability, it’s not much of a utopia at all

wheelchairs and canes and glasses and hearing aids and every single other mobility aid should be free btw and if you disagree i hate you

everyone dunking on that automated fleshlight sex toy needs to remember that disabled people get horny too ok 💜

Ahhh, fall! The leaves under my feet are crunching (but so are my joints)

i am unreasonably proud and excited about this

sometimes i start to slide back into the mindset of "what if I'm not really disabled and I'm just faking it" or "what if everything could be cured by just doing x, y, z" etc.

and then i remember that during lockdown in 2020 i spent 6 months — like every single minute of that six months — focused on taking care of my health and doing everything right

i slept 8+ hours, i drank lots of water, i got a decent amount of (non-straining) exercise, i went for walks and got fresh air, i ate balanced meals, etc. etc.

and my health got worse.

i did everything right, continuously, for months, and was still disabled. there is literally nothing i could have done to "fix it". i'm not faking it, i was alone (mostly) and trying to convince myself that everything was fine, and i was still in debilitating pain.

everything has been so much better with disability aids. having my cane has been life-changing. using sensory aids, life-changing! a non-disabled person wouldn't benefit this much from disability aids!!!

i think this is coming up again for me because I've become a relatively well-known person on campus for disability (and queer!) issues, and despite having all of my lived experience and the drive to deal with things, i still feel underqualified.

there are other people who are "more disabled", or have "been disabled" longer than me (since things were really only dealt with during lockdown after my experiment, it's only been like 3-4 years with a diagnosis). sometimes i feel like i'm taking away an opportunity from someone that would be more qualified to do things.

logically though, i'm not. most of these things i have either started myself, or other people have convinced me to get involved with because i seem "qualified" to talk about it. I've had four meetings this week about campus accessibility, people actively seek me out to ask questions, i do regularly deal with ableism and inaccessibility even if it's to a lesser extent than some other people — but the stuff i'm doing is to help everyone, not for personal gain. i'm not pretending to be disabled for selfish reasons. there are clear access barriers that directly affect me as well and i am doing everything in my power to take them down.

anyways you can't really fake being disabled, especially not to yourself. ;)

Schrödinger's Disability

"Stop using your autism/adhd as an excuse!" I cannot tell you how often I got to hear that. Because here is the thing: Most people do not perceive either of those two diagnosises as "real". Even if they know they are real. Even medical professionals do not quite... understand it. Even those working with neurodivergent people.

Of course, if someone is the kinda autistic person who has also some sort of mental impairment, people perceive it as a disability - but if it does not come along with that kinda stuff, a lot of people treat it, as if we make an active choice to do or not to do something.

I told this story yesterday: When I was a kid, the following thing would always happen. When we would have art class, some of my pencils would drop from the table. Most likely because of dyspraxia. Now, when that happened I was simply not able to stop what I was doing. Because my brain cannot handle "stopping one thing to do another thing even for just a moment" very well. And it could handle it even worse when I was a kid. But also, I do not have object permanence. So, if an object does not exist within my field of vision, I just... forget about it. So, I often would just forget to pick the pencil back up. And teachers would be: "Oh, this boy is too lazy to pick up his own things." Which was not at all what was happening.

Another thing that happened to me too often is a very typical autism thing: Someone tells me something. But they do not tell me this in plain words, but rather imply it. So... I very much just not understood it. So, for example, I got told on a Discord Server by one user: "I have muted this channel." Which I understood as: "They muted this channel (maybe because it is very active)". What they said was, though: "I do not wanna see this channel, stop tagging me in this."

And mind you, this happens at work and university, too. A good example is the good old question of: "When are you done with this?" Which I usually understand as: "When are you done with this?" But what they mean to say is: "Hurry up, I need this now."

Last semester I had this happen at university even. Basically I misunderstood the final assignment, because it was not spelled out. Thankfully the professor was less of an asshole about it, than most people. I explained it to him, he understood, still got a good grade. But that tends to be more the exception than the rule.

As I said, this is a thing that even medical professionals do not really get. Even therapists do again and again fail to just communicate with autistic people clearly. They do not think about us usually being unable to understand implied meanings. We only understand the literal meaning for a lot of stuff.

And again: This is especially harsh with people like me, who superficially seem to function well in society. Heck, I have been told by professionals that I could not have ADHD or autism, because I archived a master's degree at university. Because they cannot comprehend that both ADHD and autism are a spectrum. It is not something you "either have, or have not" but it is a wide spectrum of symptoms that are differently strong in different people.

In Germany this also shows harshly when it comes to disability benefits. Because autism on its own rarely ever qualifies for disability benefits at all. Mental disabilities that might be linked to autism do. But autism on its own? No. Same goes with ADHD. And this... is kinda silly, right? Because we have studies upon studies that people with autism and ADHD often cannot work fulltime - at least not permanently. And we also know that generally neurodivergent people are more likely to be fired for a plenthora of reasons. So, yeah, we should kinda be treated like disabled, right?

And the worst part? In the parts where you get legally discriminated because of disabilities? Yeah, we still get that. We cannot immigrate into all other contries. Like, I cannot immigrate into New Zealand, for example, even though I would like too, because New Zealand discriminates against people with autism when it comes to immigration.

So... yeah. No, this sucks.

Nobody would tell a blind person overlooking a visual sign: "Stop using your blindness as an excuse". But with autistic people? It is the norm.

Just realized something and I think some of you need to realize it too

Being in *any* unprompted pain means there's something wrong

you don't need to be in agonizing pain to get help, the human body isn't supposed to be in any pain

i'm currently taking disability studies courses in college and i really wanna ask these questions to the class. because i see all of these nondisabled people being all "yaass disabled people slay" but i wonder if they'd react the same way if the disabled person in question wasn't "socially appealing" to them.

mannnnn until we all get okay with the idea of people needing other people to get them water/food/etc like. idk we’re just never gonna make it

you are what you eat! :D

my cat is fucking UP the dsm5 like her hungry ass

A 4th century CE statue of Aphroditos. Her cock wards off evil spirits. Reblog to rid your blog of evil spirits.

the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.

reblog if the best idea that you could come up with was falling over and lying on the ground like a lump

Should go without saying but never date a cop and christ never marry one. Rule of thumb if he's legally untouchable he's ethically unfuckable. You don't like that cop, you like buff men in tight clothing. I can show you more of those, better ones. Take my hand.

Listen to me babe. Failure is normal and part of the process. If you never fail, you're not making true progress. You're just regurgitating prior process.

I don't know why society is so obsessed with perfectionism and never making a mistake ever, but that's not how it works. You're going to forget to upload an assignment. You're going to miserably fail a test. You're going to get a speeding ticket. You're going to make your little sister sad. You're going to kill some plants. You're going to get that quiz back you were so confident about and realize that you got 1 question right. Those moments are when true learning take place instead of memorization and regurgitation.

This is why in math they make you show all your work and on science and reading they made you explain all your answers and choices with a paragraph. It highlights your thought process so you can analyze where you were right and where you were wrong. And it's ok to be wrong! No one is ever right all the time.

Don't let anyone shame you for being bad at something. Remember that they had to learn to walk and chew and talk and write and read and they didn't succeed the first few times in any of that. We should be building people up and acknowledging their faults as a way to learn and grow, not as a source of shame and despair.

This is a reminder that you can still serve cunt while using a mobility aid, hope that helps

No one really tells you that when you're disabled, visibly or not, you'll have to get over feeling the need to apologize for everything.

You'll apologize for

Not being able to move quickly through small doors and walkways

Not being able to eat foods your friends like, make, or want you to try.

Having to ask for help.

Asking for space and to not be touched.

Needing accommodations

Being passionate about something

Being tired

Being tired when you weren't an hour ago

Being in pain

Being in pain when you weren't an hour ago

Going outside

Not going outside

Being on disability

Having brain fog

Needing medication

Not being "nice"

Using mobility aides

Asking people to simply do their jobs

Wanting to be treated like a human

And so much more

I know I shouldn't apologize for these things. It's not my fault. But, when you've been raised in a world where your very presence is an inconvenience and worth apology, it's hard to not break out of that cycle.

Don't even get me started on the underlying feeling that your partner, family, and friends are saints for "putting up with you."

I know it's a thing I have to work though myself. It's internalized ableism that I need to fix. But it sucks that it was instilled in me and now I have to deal with it.

Good morning Mr. Jigsaw I noticed that this trap has a time limit of 60 minutes but as per my accommodations through the school Center of Disability Resources I get time and a half on exams and quizzes is that still something I can apply to this game right now? Thank you for understanding have a nice day

A robber held up a well-dressed man, pointing his gun and yelling, “Give me all your money!”

The man replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m a U.S. congressman!” 

The robber retorted, “In that case, give me all my money!”