Anxiety Is A Bitch - Blog Posts

And not a pet, but

This frogs looks a lot like a leaf.

Ya girl is goin through a not so good time rn mayest I please have photos of y’all’s pets as a means to get that good good happy chemical

Who has time for rational thinking when anxiety exists?

An incoming phone call you say

And I freeze like a deer in headlights

Have I been hit, I feel blooding rushing past my ear drums

My heart is beating quick

then quicker, a fast rapid flicker

it's trying to run away, but my body won't move

Instead my body stands shock still and I watch locked in, but so far removed

I'm dizzy spinning around and round in my amygdala, a ringing is pulsing against the outside walls of it

trying to get inside

I cannot hide

Then the ringing just stops

it's stops

Incoming call is dropped and rational thinking has lost.

Personal vent under the cut. Don't expect to understand anything, I needed to settle an argument I've been having with my own brain. Don't worry, everything is ok now...

"Wow, did you see that freak monster hurt that person? God, what a creep... that person's DEFINITELY scarred for life!"

"I did... I hate people like that."

"Oh really? Funny of you to say that because well, y'know... you're kind of like them, aren't you?"

"I'm nothing like them. I wouldn't hurt anyone, let alone to that degree of awful."

"Nothing? You're literally the same category of freak."

"I am no such thing. I don't take advantage of other people. My moral compass is intact. I know how that person they hurt feels, it's happened to me too. I would defend them with my-"

"That person would hate you if they knew the kind of freak you were. You're just like that freak who hurt them."

"We may both be freaks but I-" "So you admit it then?"

"Let me fini-"

"You're just another monster. You may not see it now, but just you wait."

"I made a promise to never-"

"You're just making excuses for yourself."

"No-"

"You should apologize."

"For what? I've done nothing, I've only done is everything to not become a mon-"

"Doesn't matter. Your freaky little existence begs for forgiveness."

"I- I-"

"What? What? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?"

"I'm sor-"

"So you admit you're a monster in need of forgiveness"

"I never sai-"

"You don't deserve it. You may be 'innocent' now, but just you wait... just you wait, little freak."

"I hate how you twist things around. I hate how you manipulate me, telling me things I don't wan't to hear."

"Even if they may be... the truth~?" "IT'S NOT THE TRUTH. YOU'RE JUST HORRIBLE. ALL YOU SAY ARE THINGS TO MAKE ME MISERABLE. HONESTLY, BETWEEN THE TWO OF US, THE MONSTER HERE IS YOU. NOT ME, YOU."

"Sounds like someone's having a hissy fit. Do you hear yourself yelling like a stupid little child?" "BECAUSE IF I DON'T YELL, YOU TALK OVER ME. I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW, SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP. FROM FREAK TO FREAK, I MAY BE A FUCKING FREAK BUT I WILL UNLEASH HELL AGAINST THE AMORAL, AGAINST THE RANCID CANCER BEINGS RAMPAGING THIS LOVELESS EARTH. I DON'T CARE IF I'M SHOVED INTO A CATEGORY OF FREAK SHARED WITH THESE CANCER BEINGS. I DON'T CARE IF THAT PERSON HATES ME BECAUSE I'M SHOVED INTO THAT BOX. I'M FIGHTING FOR THAT PERSON REGARDLESS. I KNOW WHO I AM. I KNOW WHO I AM. I KNOW WHO I AM. I AM NOT THE MONSTER YOU SAY I AM."

"...heh."