Eustasskidd - Blog Posts

Zombie Apocalypse AU (Eustass Kidd)

Summary:

Modern AU in which Kidd is more or less happily married. Content warning includes HEAVY SPOILERS so enter at your own risk: Heavy cursing, zombies, impending doom, people dying, angst, horror, grief, murdering your loved ones, explicit violence, violence towards small children, death, typical zombie apocalypse stuff. That said I think as far as zombie apocalypses go this is some pretty vanilla stuff. But then again I literally do not consume any zombie media whatsoever, so what do I know.

"Seriously, you never listen to me. You're suppposed to pick Stevie up from kindergarden today." 

"Babe, I told you, I'm working late today. I gotta finish up today's job, the client's been all over my ass for this, he's been hounding me for the past week non-stop." 

"How is your job more important than our ONLY son?!"

"That's not what I'm saying! But I'll run into big trouble with my boss if I just ditch work today!" 

"It's not what you're saying, but actions speak louder than words. You spend every single day at that damn garage. Do you even know what your son looks like anymore?"

The conversation replays in Kidd's head over and over on his drive to work. Of course he cares for Stevie. Of course he does. His wife Becka just doesn't realize how hard he works every single damn day to pay the bills for both of them. Not like she knows what that's like, she's been staying at home to care for Stevie for the past few years. Which honestly, he resents her for a bit. He'd rather get to spend some time off of work and in the company of his son too. She's right. He knows what his son looks like of course, but he feels so damn estranged from him that it makes him want to punch something. Shitty fucking money and the need to earn it. 

It's not even that he dislikes his job. He loves being a mechanic, but his boss is a proper asshole. Kidd's been dreaming about opening up his own mechanic workshop for years. The "Damned Garage", he'd call it. That way all the wussy clients would be scared off by the name alone and he wouldn't get as many idiots coming to his garage. That was the idea at least. 

During his work day, he manages to forget about the argument by throwing himself into his work. Usually his lunch break is around 1pm, but he puts it off by two hours, having felt the need to make sure that he finish one particularly stubborn piece of repairs first. He grabs his lunch and phone, sitting down in the workers' room at the table, biting into his sandwhich heartily as he turns on his phone to check for anything new happening. 

A sharp feeling of guilt stabs through him when he sees five missed calls from Becka. Shit. What if something had happened?

Without bothering to read his messages first, he calls her immediately. It takes painfully long for her to pick up and boy does she sound pissed when she does. 

"Kidd. Why the fuck didn't you respond?!" 

"Becka. I'm so sorry, I only just saw. What's wrong?" 

"Everything is wrong. Stevie is sick. I called you to pick him up. But of course you didn't fucking answer." 

"Sick? What do you mean, he's sick? What's he got?"

"I don't know! I'm at the doctor's. His breathing is really shallow." Her harsh tone finally mellows as a choked sob comes through the phone. "I'm scared, Kidd. He collapsed at kindergarden today and he's barely conscious. I don't know what the hell is going on. He seemed fine this morning. The caretaker said he sounded like he was choking on something before he collapsed." 

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Which doctor? I'm on my way." Kidd leaves everything where it is, grabbing his car keys and making his way to his car. He'll explain this to his boss tomorrow. 

Becka gives him the address of the children's doctor she's at. When he sits down in his car, it won't start. 

Why won't it start? He's a mechanic, he regularly checks over his car, almost religiously. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Start up you damn bitch!", he yells and slams his fist against the dashboard. Somehow, that makes the engine splutter to life. Sounds like it's got some issue, but that's the last of his worries right now. He needs to get to Becka and Stevie. The car damn well better hold out til then or he'll hijack any that he comes across. He doesn't fucking care right now. He grew up as a lowly street thug and he's not shy about using that knowledge when it counts. 

The streets feel oddly crowded for a tuesday afternoon. It shouldn't be rush hour yet, yet he gets stuck in one jam after the other. He clenches his fist so tightly that his nails start digging into the palm of his hand painfully, leaving angry, red marks. The pain distracts him from his worries at least a little. Just collapsed. Why would Stevie just collapse? If he was choking on something, maybe it was an allergy or some shit? Not that he was aware of Stevie having any. Then again, it was usually Becka, who prepared the meals for both of them, who knew this kind of shit. 

His fingers drum against the steering wheel impatiently. Fuck, fuck, fuck. If only he had his bike here, he'd be able to weave through the traffic without having to wait so damn long. 

It takes him what feels like hours to get even just two blocks further. That's when he sees a couple on a motorbike on the lane to his right. This is his chance. 

He gets out of his car, ignoring the incessant honking that follows him as he makes his way over. Before either of the two notices what's happening, he's pushed them off their bike. 

"Sorry, emergency!", he yells, but he doesn't feel very sorry as he revs up the bike and starts on his journey towards the doctor's address. 

He leaves his car standing there in the middle of traffic. Fuck if he cares, he just needs to make sure that Stevie's okay right now. The police'll be all up his ass over this later anyways, it won't be any issue returning this bike. It's a good bike, he reckons, nice bit of horsepower below him. 

The couple had been some idiot goody two-shoes anyways, respecting the traffic rules to much to weave in between the jammed cars to get to their destination. He definitely deserved it more right now. 

When he finally gets to the doctor, it feels like something out of a nightmare. People are screaming as they're running out of the building. 

"What the fuck is going on?!", he yells at the passers-by, but none of them are willing to answer. He curses once more, running into the building, calling up Becka's number once again. 

Fuck. "Cell phone service not available", his screen reads. Then why the fuck is he paying them a damn fortune for his contract every month?!  

Inside the house it's chaos too. Everyone seems to be trying to get out all at once, making Kidd need to punch his way inside. 

He gets yelled at for this plenty but he's easily able to block off any punches and kicks that come his way in retaliation. None of these people actually know how to fight, unlike him. 

"BECKA?! BECKA!", he screams once he's inside. "BECKA, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

But he's not sure that she'd be able to hear him over the chaos all around in the first place. He keeps shoving people out of his way as he makes his way to the first floor. Something in his gut tells him that if Becka isn't one of the people running outside - and he hasn't seen her amongst those, at least - then she'll be at the epicenter of whatever the fuck is going on right now. 

She'd be slowed down anyways, having to carry their son. He's sure he would have spotted them if they'd been part of the crowd rushing past him seeing as his tall frame is towering over most of the panicked individuals, but he can't be perfectly sure. 

Most of the people seem to already have cleared out of the first floor when he finally makes his way up there. He tries again. "BECKA?! BABE, ARE YOU HERE?"

He doesn't hear anything in response, but what he can hear is what sounds like the pounding of fists against a wall and muffled sobs. 

He makes his way towards the source of the location, his gut churning with worry. This feels like a damn fever dream and not reality. 

When Kidd gets to the room the noises are coming from, he stops dead in his tracks. There seem to be a half-naked man and child pounding against a door? 

"Oi, what the fuck are you-", Kidd starts up, but stops as they turn around when they hear his voice. 

Their faces are all but covered in ugly green pustules, red around the edges and oozing something that's either blood or pus, he's too disgusted to want to look closely. 

Yet he can't bring himself to actually look away either. They just stand there, staring at him, not replying, not responding in any way and Kidd's pretty sure that this is the eeriest thing he's ever experienced. 

His face falls on the young boy. Must be around Stevie's age, though it's hard to make out any of the boy's features granted there's a giant, welting pustule right above his left eye, covering all of it and even some of his skin below, amidst a face that looks almost burnt in how red and wet the skin looks. 

Kidd's just barely able to keep down the retching motion that his throat wants to make at the sight. He's seen some shit - especially during his time on the streets - but never something quite as disgusting as this. 

"Daaaaa.... ddy?" The boy suddenly says. Kidd freezes in his tracks. The voice sounded so slurred, so wrong, like the words had been forced out with great strength. But he'd recognize that voice anywhere. 

"S-Stevie? Is that..." He can't bring himself to finish the sentence. It can't be. This must be some kind of really fucked up nightmare. It can't be true. 

The boy walks towards him slowly, dragging his feet, one of his arms spasming uncontrollably at his side. Fuck. What the hell kind of disease was this? Where was Becka? 

If only he'd had his fucking phone turned on. He should have been here so much sooner.

And who the fuck was the man whose shirt was torn apart at the front, standing beside this monstrosity that bore Stevie's voice? 

The man still hadn't said anything. He tries to now, but all that comes out is a weird, indecipherable gurgle. Kidd wants to run, run as far as he can and leave this shitshow behind. 

But what if that is in fact Stevie? He can't just leave his baby boy behind. Not when he's clearly suffering from whatever kind of fuck-ass disease this is. 

Kidd crouches down, trying to not appear as disgusted as he feels. "Stevie, baby. Where's mommy?" 

"Daaaaaaaaddy." Again, the creepy, slurred voice. Stevie can talk full sentences, so what the hell is this about? Is the disease affecting his brain in some way. 

"Yes, baby, it's me." He nearly has to throw up as he accidentally breathes in too deeply, the rotten scent filling up his senses and making him dizzy with disgust. 

"Kidd?", a female voice suddenly sounds, slightly muffled. It sounds like it's coming from behind the door that Stevie and the man had been pounding against. 

Kidd feels like he can suddenly breathe a little easier. "Becka? Shit, is that you?"

"Yeah. Be careful. The doctor attacked me." 

"Wait, that fuckass dude is a doctor?", Kidd asks. 

Just then, the man tries to speak again, but it's a weak gurgle once more. Even Kidd's kid can speak better while afflicted by whatever the fuck this is. 

Kidd tries to ignore him, focusing on Stevie. "Baby. We'll take you to the hospital, okay? 's gonna be alright. Please don't be scared." 

But taking his focus off of the man seems to have been a mistake. As Kidd is still crouching down in front of Stevie the man seems to undergo some sort of change, his entire body convulsing seemingly at random where he stands, odd, disturbing noises coming out of him. 

Before Kidd can really react the man's suddenly flung himself at Kidd. Thanks to his well-honed reflexes, Kidd manages to let himself fall backwards to do a roll and get out of the man's reach just in time. "What the fuck is your problem, dude?!", he yells at the apparent doctor. 

But when he sees the doctor's face, a cold shiver runs down his spine. His eyes are turned so far back in his head that only the white can be seen anymore and he's coming for Kidd yet again. Kidd lunges for the stool standing in the middle of the room, needing something to defend himself with so as he won't get in direct touch with the disgusting pustules covering all of the man's face and upper torso. 

When the man lunges for him once again he crashes the stool into him, the flimsy wooden construction breaking apart and leaving Kidd with nothing but its two legs in hand. "Fuck!", he curses once again. 

The man seems momentarily paralyzed but goes for Kidd again immediately after recovering his bearings. 

"I'm gonna hurt you if you don't stop this shit!" Kidd's warning feels redundant at this point, but part of him still wants this shitshow to just stop, for the man to calm down and everything to return to normal. 

Kidd parries the man's uncoordinated yet strong attacks by smashing his two sticks against the man's attacking arms. He doesn't even make any sounds of pain, doesn't seem to react much to what must be brutal bruises forming on his arms, he just unrelentingly tries to attack Kidd further. 

A part of Kidd that isn't focused on the fight right now but on protecting Stevie is devastated that his little boy needs to see this shit, but it can't be helped. 

When the man simply refuses to abate in his attacks, Kidd starts bringing down the stool legs on his head repeatedly, jumping out of the man's reach any time he tries to grab him, desperate not to want to get in touch with whatever this fucking disease is. After countless brutal hits and the man's head actively starting to be deformed, he finally goes down. Kidd's arms are hurting from how much power he had to exert as he stands there panting, a disgusting mix of blood and whatever else was coming out of the man and his pustules on his makeshift weapons. 

He lets them fall to the floor as he then turns to open the door that Becka had been hiding behind. Becka jumps into his arms, holding onto him and sobbing desperately, clearly having been terrified out of her mind. 

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.", she keeps repeating, trembling wildly. 

"Is okay. I've got you.", Kidd reassures her, holding her in his strong yet exhausted arms. "I'll always protect you." 

Becka takes a while to calm down in his arms, but he needs that time nearly as much as she does. This is certainly not how he'd expected a visit at the doctor's with Stevie to go. But if Stevie had the same thing that the doctor had...

He can barely finish that thought as Becka suddenly gasps in pain. 

"Becka?!" Panic floods him within seconds. Becka stares down in horror, looking at her leg, which Stevie had bitten into with all of his might. 

He was so small and yet he seemed to have exerted so much force that he'd not only bitten through the fabric of her trousers, but into the skin underneath as well, drawing blood. 

"OW!", Becka yowls, kicking her leg to try and throw Stevie off in panic, but to no avail, he's latching on like a rabid dog. 

"FUCK; KID!", Kidd yells and grabs Stevie, trying not to get in touch with the disgusting stuff covering his body but unable to avoid it entirely in how much force he needs to exert to drag Stevie off of Becka. Even then he needs to grab his mouth and pry it apart to get Stevie to stop biting into his mother. 

He throws Stevie off, positioning himself in front of Becka in case Stevie tries to go for her again. Why the hell does he need to fight his own kid? What the fuck? 

Becka hisses in pain, trying to inspect her leg. 

Normally Kidd would never speak to his child like this, but he's so angry and overwhelmed that he can't keep his cool. "What the fuck, Stevie? How could you attack Becka!" 

Stevia doesn't seem particularly dazed at having been thrown off, getting back up, his one visible eye rolled back, only the white visible. "Mommyyyyyyy...... hurts....." 

Kidd can't help the tears welling up in his eyes at seeing his son in this condition. He'd hurt him. He'd hurt his beloved Stevie. But he had to defend Becka. What choice did he have in this impossible situation? 

"Becka, are you alright?", he asks over his shoulder, trying to keep an eye on Stevie even as he checks in with her at the same time. 

"Hurts like a damn bitch, but I'll live.", is the quick reply. 

"The fuck do we do?", Kidd asks her. What could they even do? 

"We need to lock him in somewhere and get help. I don't know what's happening to him. I don't know how to help him." 

Kidd can't see Becka's face either, but by the tone of her voice, she's definitely crying too. 

"Fuck.", he curses. "Stevie, do you understand what I'm saying?" 

He pushes Becka backwards a bit behind him as Stevie keeps approaching them again. "Huuuuuuurts....", the little kid groans. 

He doesn't know how to do this. If he grabs Stevie there's a good chance he'll be bitten too. With the doctor from here already on the ground unconscious - or in the worst case, dead - it might be a while before they were able to get help again. He needs to make sure he'll stay as uninjured as possible to take proper care of Becka, who might already struggle to walk with her leg now. 

So he picks up one of the stool legs again, a grim expression on his face. 

Becka nearly chokes on her spit as she sees this. "Kidd. Kidd, oh god, no. You can't hurt him!" 

"He's not going to listen to us right now, babe. I need to protect you." 

"That's our baby!", Becka pleads desperately, grabbing the back of his shirt to shake him. 

"I'll be careful.", Kidd replies gravely, shaking her off. 

Stevie tries to lunge for him but because of Becka's location being right behind him he can't dodge, so he has to block the attack with the stool leg. Part of him crumples and dies at having to hurt his own flesh and blood by beating against his wildly flailing arms and legs like this, but his survival mode lets him focus on the fight at hand first of all. 

Kidd goes on to take the initiative, pushing Stevie back towards the room Becka had previously been in with a flurry of feigned and real attacks. 

Stevie doesn't respond to the feigned attacks at all, not flinching back from them at all as one normally would have based on their reflexes. 

Kidd has already seen enough to know that something's seriously fucking wrong, but that's the nail in the coffin for him. 

He can only push Stevie back into the room by actively hitting him. Normally his little boy had been so weak, never one for being super sporty and preferring to draw and sing when the other kids ran around yelling and having fun, so he has no idea where all of this strength is even coming from. 

He can't bring himself to think about how much he's injuring the poor little child's frail bones, how much this will hurt Stevie when he's back to normal. 

Finally, he manages to slam the door shut right in front of Stevie's face, turning the keys over quickly. 

He hadn't even really noticed it during the fight itself, but now he realizes that tears are streaming down his face, actively blurring his vision. 

Kidd turns back around to Becka, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible, but she backs away hobbling from him when he gets closer. "You monster! How could you attack our little boy! You filthy, filthy pig! You bastard!" 

She keeps screaming, hurling insult after insult at him. 

Kidd just stands there and takes it. It hurts him deeply to see his wife saying such hurtful things to him, but he can't blame her. God if he doesn't hate himself for doing what he's done just now as well. 

"Becks...", he starts up but is quickly shut up by her screaming at him again. 

He can tell that she's starting to work herself into a state of hysteria so eventually he can't take it any longer, walks up and wraps his arms around her in a hug, even as she starts pounding her fists against his chest, still screaming at him for being such a horrible monster. 

She continues for quite some minutes before finally calming down, her screaming quieting down into miserable sobs. 

"I'll always protect you.", he mumbles into her hair, breathing in the scent desperately to try and calm himself, to find some semblance of normaly in this fucked up situation. 

He hadn't wanted any of this. He hadn't wanted his promise of protection to turn against the very product of their love, their only child. 

He surpresses his sobs, only allowing his tears to stream down freely as he holds Becka with all of his remaining strength. She needs him right now, more than she's ever needed him before, more than she ever would have needed him in a normal life without this kind of fucked up situation. 

One Piece Dream Recollection Part 2 - Kidd, Killer, Doflamingo

At first, I was travelling through a hostile environment with Kidd and Killer. Things had started out with me helping a primary school kid through their bike exam at school and then through shenanigans I am unfortunately unable to remember I ended up in a big castle-like structure.

Evil royalty lived here, I was either infiltrating the place or working there as a maid, as I ran through the corridors plenty.

The Kidd Pirates - enemies to the castle's royalty - had somehow ended up in there and tried to escape.

I mainly just interacted with Kidd and Killer who didn't trust me in the least at first.

I went along with them despite them trying to get me to leave them the hell alone and stuck around with them for long enough for them to start softening a bit towards me.

As we ran down a very large set of stairs - going down multiple floors in a rectangular shape - we were hot in pursuit by our enemies.

Kidd decided to stay behind and fight them to ensure all of his friends would make it out alive. Killer and I freaked out big time at this but Killer didn't waste time arguing, followed Kidd's command and instead made sure the Kidd Pirates would all successfully escape.

I wasn't nearly as smart and started begging Kidd not to risk his life for this. There was a lot of back and forth of him going "Why the fuck do you care, you don't even know me" to me struggling to explain myself and then I offered to keep the enemies away in his stead.

I must have been a capable fighter in my dream because this was a genuine option. Kidd seeing that I was willing to sacrifice my safety and possibly my life in favour of him and especially his friends immediately won me his respect and then it became the most melodramatic soap opera shit about "no, you can't do this!" of us both saying that to each other that you've ever seen.

I'm pretty sure there was even dramatic, romantic music playing during this, it was fucking wild. I was mentally making fun of how cheesy everything was even as it happened in the dream.

Eventually we all tried to make it out together and ended up hiding in a room on the bottom floor of the castle, right beside the exit. We had to wait for a lot of enemy soldiers to pass before we were able to make it out. I caused a diversion by talking to the guards seeing as they didn't recognize my face.

You're gonna have to suspend your disbelief for a bit here, cause all of a sudden I stopped being myself and uh, became Kidd. Yeah, that happens sometimes.

I (Kidd) was somehow separated from the group, maybe the dream had shifted enough for this to be a slightly different scenario, either way I spread my wings - yup, Kidd/I had huge bat-like wings for whatever reason - and started flying away over the massive castle garden. Think Versaille's park, that sort of size of garden.

Now Kidd is fucking muscular, so it was very hard to fly very high with a body as heavy as his, making it very dangerous to be spotted by any of the numerous castle guards posted in said garden. There were a lot of plants and small hedges out and about that I was able to hide behind, even if the fact that I had the massive red coat on made it incredibly difficult.

I hunted down some small game because I was starting to get really hungry, eating it on the spot (not sure if I/Kidd was entirely human with that + the wings). When I flew slightly above the garden lake (of a relatively small scale) huge bubbles would appear right before massive fish with mouths full of rows of teeth lunged out, trying to kill me.

I had to dodge quite a lot of these killer fish on my journey.

Then the dream shifted a bit again and I was suddenly Doflamingo, yet in the same castle garden.

I came across a very weird hill - it looked entirely unnatural, like somebody who hadn't known how to terraform in a video game had collossally messed up.

Basically on each level of the hill the earth / floor was raised and right on top of it a large rectangular plate of earth (featuring another raise right on it) was stacked. There were about eight stacks of this and it was an incredibly wobbly construction (no wonder).

Now I (Doflamingo) carried over some of the exhaustion I had felt in my escape as Kidd so I considered this strange construction to be a good potential hiding spot.

When getting closer to inspect it I noticed that a rabbit momma (a larpin, but way cuter) and her baby had seeked out shelter under the construction too. The mom was at the very left of the floor she was on; meaning that every time the unstable construction wobbled and swung around in the wind, she had to support all of its weight with her head to make sure she and her baby weren't ever crushed to death.

The baby was injured, having a small cut on its belly as well as most of the fur on its stomach being red and upset so I set out to find some herbs to help treat its wounds.

When I returned the strange hill had leaned forward too much on the bunny's mom so she'd fallen unconscious from the pressure on her head. The baby was freaking out incredibly hard, thinking its mom had died so I sat down and soothed it to the best of my ability.

I then set out to stabilize this strange hill with my strings; connecting the top and bottom of each floor with said strings to stablize the construction and make sure it wouldn't sway dangerously anymore.

I then went around the back of the hill and did the same thing there, (in a very rare moment of scientific clarity I had a thought of "wait, that's not how physics work!" and decided to work on stabilizing the back of it too).

Honestly it was probably just Doflamingo's intelligence permeating my brain in the dream, I'm terrible with science.

So yeah! The dream ended right after this. It's a lot less cohesive than the last dream I dreamt but I hope you got to enjoy it either way.

One Piece Dream Recollection

I spent all night in my dream travelling through the country Doflamingo reigned in (not Dressrosa, some other one) with Law, doing our best to work towards bringing Doflamingo down.

The first fight against Doflamingo was absolutely catastrophic and nearly got the both of us killed.

Luffy was working towards our fight somewhere too but I never really saw him in person.

Kidd then appeared, apparently Luffy had helped him out of a pinch and so he'd agreed to an alliance. Kidd had seen Luffy give orders to Law so Kidd was eager to help Law as Luffy's apparent subordinate, taking orders from his alliance member. (Law did not like that one bit and the two bickered quite a lot!)

Law was already roughed up pretty badly at this point so Kidd went to fight Doflamingo on his own.

Kidd stood a much better chance than Law had beforehand - maybe because Doflamingo had already spent some of his energy, because Kidd was able to keep a clearer head instead of being so hyperfocused on revenge like Law or just because I simp for Kidd harder.

Either way it was an incredibly intense fight and the two went at it for hours.

Doflamingo used parasite to control Law to fight against Kidd for him, Kidd being attacked by both of them at the same time which made things even more difficult for him.

Law then - for whatever reason - decided to break Kidd's metal hand. Which makes no sense, but alas, dream logic. For some reason it hurt Kidd whenever the metal hand was broken and severed from his arm.

At this rate Kidd was quite worse for wear so he laid on the ground panting as Doflamingo set out to explore how the metal hand worked, being rather curious about the fact.

Through some means or another he froze the hand first of all, which was a wise idea seeing as it self-destructed and set off quite a few explosions that had been built in.

Through the ice encasing it nobody got hurt from that.

In my dream I stood there, nodded and thought "so this is why Kidd got roughed up so badly when Shanks attacked him, his metal arm self-destructed as well on top of everything".

Doflamingo was screwing the metal arm open further, trying to figure out its secrets. He was so interested in finding out what was inside that you could have thought one of the ancient weapons was stored away in there but we never found out because suddenly Benn Beckman appeared.

Why him, you ask? No fucking clue, I've never had a more anticlimactic dream in my life. Pretty pissed at my subconscious for choosing a character I actively dislike here.

Beckman then proceeded to fight Doflamingo with all he had and boy it was rough for Doflamingo. For some reason Beckman was miles and miles stronger and faster than him. Doflamingo felt looked down upon so he completely lost it.

Beckman kept cutting through his strings so Doflamingo used his awakened devil fruit to turn the very ground into strings as well, trying to gain the upper hand through this.

He used his "Spider Web" to deflect attacks but was eventually defeated rather unceremoniously.

Beckman then disappeared as quickly as he came.

When I later strolled through the town - Kidd and Law recovering from the fight - I came across Mihawk, sitting on the back of an oxen cart on top of a huge eagle (Lord of the Rings Style). Right beside him a really cute eagle baby. He was drinking some wine - or maybe some other alcoholic beverage - straight from the bottle.

When asked by the villagers why he was here, he responded that the baby eagle didn't like the drinks they had at the eyrie, so he was here to buy drinks for the baby.

I very unfortunately woke up after this but oh my god that was such a fun, wild ride!

I finally made an actual self-insert One Piece character to represent me. She's tiny and she hasn't got the most useful of limbs, but she's trying.

I'll use the simple design to try and draw my headcanons more easily.

I didn't really want to name her anything (Neera feels too personal and a bit too grown up for her) so I'll just call her LoveyBug from now on based on her shirt.

LoveyBug + Doflamingo, one of their first meetings

Hiding in Doflamingo and Corazon's coats

+ Coloured Corazon coat hiding

Enjoying Kidd's fluffy hair

Kidd: "Get out of my hair, you weirdo!"

LoveyBug: "No, YOU get out of MY hair about this! :3"

(she loves making the most horrendous puns)

Just realized I haven't posted my other half-head drawings here yet either!

Doflamingo was the first, I had the least amount of practise for him.

Zoro came second...

And Kidd came third!

I cannot draw women for the life of me so let's ignore Hancock..

And finally, Ace, the newest addition to the lot ^-^

Kid Pirates Month Prompt 31: Eustass Kid as King of the Pirates!

Did I cheat a little by drawing over an Arcane frame? yes. Do I have regrets? no. If I hadn't, the anatomy would be a damn mess, and I wanted to do this final prompt justice.

I wanted to draw him on a bigger throne initially, but that doesn't really feel very Kidd-esque. He wants to be king, sure, but I don't see him sitting on an actual throne ever.

Yeah, so, I was happy before I drew this, now I'm not anymore.

Drawn for the prompt "40 years" of the KidPiratesMonth2025.

Second image has text + context (transcribed here as well):

found a way which let him permanently remove effects of the SMILE fruit

cut off his long hair entirely when it happened

keeps cutting it at every annual death day

captain of the Kid Pirates

dresses in Kid's old clothes cause they're the only thing that brings him any comfort

Killer stopped wearing shirts with his own jolly roger. now he exclusively wears the kidd pirates jolly roger

I think I need a break from drawing after this one. It's miles better than most of my digital art and I learned a lot from drawing this, but emotionally I need to ragequit art right now.

Kidd Pirates Month Stories - Part 1

Oneshot Prompts

Most of these chapters / days have been self-sufficient, apart from "Modern AU", where I just kept on going and going to avoid prompts I didn't want to write about. I think I'll post that one separately.

Content warnings: Plenty of cursing. Kid pirates being Kid pirates.

New beginnings - Day 1

Severely injured, stranded and alone, Kidd makes a landing on a mysterious island. Spoilers for 1100s!!

Pain. He’s in so much pain. There’s blood smeared all over his body and he’s pretty sure that there’s something wrong with his left eye, his vision is blurry at best and black spots keep dancing in front of him. Nevertheless, he pushes himself off of the cold shore he stranded at. This must be some cold winter island, the ground he laid on felt completely frozen, leaving his skin where the clothing had been shredded to burn painfully.

Where are the others? The thought strikes him with a searing intensity. He’s captain, he shouldn’t be focusing on himself more than his crew. He grimaces, his neck hurting when he turns his head to look around.

There’s nothing. Just this awfully cold surface that feels like ice but not entirely. Some freakish oddity of the New World, or so he assumes.

This supposed “ice” raises high into mountain-scapes far taller than the Victoria Punk, circling around at the end like waves. The Victoria Punk. What happened to her? Her and the crew. Did they make it out? Are any of them even still alive? He curses, the sound fading to nothing in the vastness of the space he’s in. Where the hell is he gonna go from here?

This island doesn’t look inhabitable in the least. Unless there are some sort of animals living on this ice, he’s gonna starve to death if he doesn’t freeze first.

But even if there are any animals, he’s going to have to be careful. He glances down at his left arm, ending right below the arm stump where his metal arm had been before that cursed battle. Judging by the look of this island he’d be lucky to find any metal in the vicinity to build anything with.

He tries pulling any closeby metal to him, but stumbles back when he’s met with a metal presence so strong it feels like he’s the one being pulled towards it instead of the other way around. He narrows his eyes, staring into the direction of where he can feel the presence’s location, but he can’t see anything. Thick clouds hang low over the island, making sure he can only see the mountains around him.

He's never felt a presence that strong. The metal must either be of a special quality, imbued with some type of Haki or devil fruit he’s unfamiliar with, or just be really incredibly large.

But maybe he can use this phenomenon to his advantage. Looking back, there’s nothing but the empty, wide ocean around him. Not even any signs of the Victoria Punk having been wrecked, no debris swimming around and most worryingly, none of his crewmates either.

He focuses on pulling the metal towards him again, and just like he suspected, he’s actually the one being pulled towards it. He intensifies the pull, until it’s so strong that it actually starts to overcome gravity in pulling him upwards.

This might be a terrible idea, but what has he got to lose at this point? He’s barely alive as it is, if he doesn’t find help soon that’ll be it for him.

Given his state of exhaustion it’s difficult, making sure the magnetic pull is strong enough to pull him in while also not crashing into any of the ice mountains and blocks around him in his flight. He has to take longer and longer breaks as his journey continues.

Eventually he’s made it far enough for the clouds not to intercept his vision anymore. An involuntary tremble of a mix of both excitement and fear runs through him as he views the large longsword before him in the distance.

Large isn’t even the right expression. It’s so huge that Kidd has to crane his neck to follow its sheath upwards, and even then the continuation of the sword is obstructed by green foliage.

Just where the hell is he? Is he even still alive? Is this all just a dream or a fever hallucination caused by the severity of his injuries? There’s no way a sword that large should exist. Because if there is a sword of that size, there would need to be a forge large enough to house it. Beside the smith needing to make it and a wielder to carry it.

Even giants wouldn’t be cut out for the task, and Kidd absolutely hates how small and insignificant this huge-ass longsword is making him feel.

But nonetheless he carries on, letting himself fly towards the large sword which he later learns goes by the name of “Sumarrbrandr”, a sword which would shape his destiny more than he’d ever have had the gall to imagine.

Kidd Pirates as Kids - Day 2

“Ow!”, he yells, immediately drawing back the finger which he’d gotten squeezed in between two metal parts of his newest invention. He curses as he puts his finger under freezing cold running water to soothe the pain. The piece he’s currently working on has been incredibly hard to make, but it’s all going to be worth it. Now if these damn joints just finally stopped popping off…

Three hours later, he’s bathed in sweat but entirely content with the end results. He tests out the fluidity of the motions before making sure to pack his newest invention carefully, after all it’s a gift for a very special person and he definitely doesn’t want anything to fall apart on his way to her.

When he arrives, he does so at the same time as Killer. They’d both ridden their old run-down bicycles here. Killer also has a big package with him, but by the smell of it, it’s more of the edible kind.

While Killer is part of a rival gang on the island, Kidd doesn’t really dislike him. Killer’s pretty cool, actually, Kidd just can’t say that to his face or he’ll think he’s all that.

After a short dispute of who gets to go through the door first, they finally arrive at the hideout of the one and only Victoria. This place is a peace-zone between all the four gangs led by Kidd, Killer, Heat and Wire on the island, where Victoria reigns supreme.

Kidd and Killer, who are both in love with her, have been trying their damned hardest to get her to join their respective gangs, but to no avail so far. Every single time Kidd asks her to join his gang – and he asks her that a lot – she says that him and Killer should merge their groups, and then she’ll join. Which of course Kidd can’t do. Asking Killer to do that would basically mean submitting and asking anything of Killer. Which would put Kidd in a lower position than Killer, and there’s no way he’s gonna have anyone above him in the hierarchy.

Not even if said person makes some killer food. Pun intended, or so Killer says every time. Kidd rolls his eyes each time he has to hear that, but somehow that bastard makes Victoria laugh with his cheesy lines. 

Which is totally stupid. Kidd should be the one making her laugh, not that freaking long-haired, blonde good-for-nothing. Seriously, what self-respecting man has long hair like that? Totally stupid. Not that he's ever gonna say that again.

The first time he'd done that, after getting into a huge fist-fight with each other Killer hadn't shown up at their meetings for a whole week, after which he'd reappeared with hair that he insisted he hadn't cut, but it was pretty obvious to everyone that he had. 

The peace between them is rather fragile, but for the most part, they manage to get along. Even though they're constantly fighting over it, they're somewhat okay with sharing Victoria's affections. Begrudgingly. Kind of. 

______________________________________________________________

But things change with time, as they always do. A group of criminals docks at the island, trying to take control over Kidd's island. Well, the island he technically shares with Killer, Heat and Wire. But still, mostly Kidd's island. He's the coolest out of the four of them, after all. 

Things take a turn for the worse as the newly arrived criminals start terrorizing the towns of the island. Kidd calls in for an emergency meeting with his gang, receiving intel on these new threats from his trusty scouts. 

The criminals don't seem particularly organized, but they have the numbers, plus they're all grown-ups, which gives them a boost in strength over his own group. It might be time to do something he'd much rather avoid. 

______________________________________________________________

Once they've all assembled around the table at Victoria's place, Kidd stands up and speaks up. He fixes Victoria, Killer, Heat and Wire with a passionate glare. "We need to do something. These criminals are terrorizing the towns. Towns that are ours to terrorize. Not theirs. I propose an alliance. We can't just stand and watch as they ruin everything." 

Heat and Wire exchange a look, nodding in agreement. They had already spoken to one another about something of the sort, but hadn't been brave enough to approach the oftentimes volatile Kidd.

Killer frowns. "An alliance. Then who's gonna call the shots? One person will have to. If we just command our respective groups on our own it'll be chaos."

Kidd immediately preens. "Well, obviously that should be me." Heat and Wire speak up loudly in protest and everyone starts arguing until Victoria slams her hands on the table. "Shut up! All of you." 

The boys fall silent but keep glaring at one another. Victoria sighs. "You're the same as always. Bickering and bickering for no good reason at all. I'm gonna call the shots." 

Everyone turns and stares at her in complete and utter bewilderment. Heat sputters. "B-but... you're a girl. What do you know about fighting?", prompting him to immediately receive two hits from both Kidd and Killer who glare at him furiously. 

Killer: "She's twice the man you are, bastard!"

Wire tries to deescalate. "Calm down, both of you. What Heat's trying to say is that all four of us have experience in leading our gangs. Victoria doesn't." 

Victoria nods. "Yeah, but while that's true, me not leading one of your gangs means that I don't have my head full of nonsensical competition, like all of you do. And what we need to beat these little shits is unity. Which none of you are capable of, I'm pretty sure. Hence I'll be our shot-caller."

Kidd clearly wants to protest, but he doesn't know how to do it without being as offensive as Heat was, so he stays silent, his head progressively turning more and more red. 

______________________________________________________________

Things somewhat work out. The four gangs manage to unite and defeat the intruders, but Victoria takes a serious hit during the course of the battle because she had insisted fighting at the front like all of the other gang leaders. Beyond countless broken bones she loses sight in her left eye, giving her a nasty scar right on her face. 

Her recovery is slow and gruelling, but she does recover, much to the relief of Kidd and Killer. 

She starts to hate the way she looks now, trying out some eyepatches to cover up until finally deciding to wear a helmet instead. Kidd never tires of telling her that she's still beautiful even with the large scar and her blind eye, now fogged over and staring into nothingness, but Victoria doesn't listen. 

Killer tells her the same things, but once she decides to don the helmet, he gives up on trying to fix her self-esteem, and instead makes another helmet just like hers, which he then starts wearing. He makes some for Kidd, Heat and Wire as well. Heat and Wire wear them at first but grow tired of it, while Kidd doesn't want to hide his face away like a coward in the first place. 

As the island returns to a somewhat peaceful state, Kidd manages to convince everybody to start a pirate crew and leave home behind. 

Seeing as he'd been the only one strong enough to take down the leader of the invaders Kidd gets to become captain, while Victoria becomes first mate, with Killer, Heat and Wire all getting to be officers. Kidd promises them that once they're a big crew they'll get to lead the divisions of their grand fleet. Though he makes Killer promise that he'll always stay on the main ship, because he'd rather not be missing out on his awesome cooking skills. Or his best friend, but that part is left unsaid. 

Besides, they are both kind of dating Victoria now, so it'd be unfair to send Killer off elsewhere. As much as Kidd wants her all for himself, he cares for his best friend way too much to want to ruin things between them. 

Victoria undergoes plenty of training to become strong enough to be worthy of the position Kidd bestowed upon her. 

But even with plenty of training under her belt, she still doesn't take the helmet off. 

Her and Killer become known as the massacre soldiers, a formidable duo of sword fighters that tend to fight back-to-back, only surpassed in strength by their captain alone. 

Victoria Lives AU - Day 3

They've made it to the New World. It's been one huge hassle trying to get here, but they're finally here now. 

Kidd is currently crucifying some moron who had wanted to go back home from the New World. 

What had even been his plan? Take the perilous journey through Fishman Island once more without anyone to coat his ship for him? Beg the nobles for a safe passage across the Red Line? 

What a moron. Kidd's basically doing him a favor by crucifying him. 

Victoria's off to the side, drinking beer through a straw going through one of the holes in her helmet. Killer's sitting beside her in silent companionship. 

Kidd lets out a sinister laugh as his victim screams out in pain. Victoria rolls her eyes and sighs.

"You just have to be this loud, don’t you?" 

Kidd frowns and strolls over. "What's wrong? You don't usually mind this kinda stuff." He waves his hand, gesturing to the man flailing on the crucifix. 

Victoria shrugs. "I don't care, I just don't understand why you have to be so damn loud about it. Just get it over with. It's not like you've gotta put a show on for anybody."

Kidd exchanges a quick glance with Killer. Usually Victoria would be the first to terrorize victims with him. 

Killer scoots a little closer to her on the bench and puts a reassuring hand on her back. "Talk to us, Vicky." 

She grumbles for a bit, but eventually relents. "Fine. It's just... another headache. I swear there's something wrong with these islands." 

Kidd and Killer exchange another, longer glance. She's not being doing well ever since they entered the New World, the different magnetic fields of the islands somehow affecting her body. 

Once he'd found out about it, Kidd had been doing research by raiding libraries as well as torturing scientists of islands they came across for information, but to no avail so far, at least not in that regard. He has been learning a lot of really neat things about island magnetism that he's still working on integrating into his devil fruit usage in the future. 

Killer sighs. "None of the other crew members have been experiencing this. But you don't have a devil fruit, so I don't get how you would have any sort of connection to these islands. Hell, if it is even the islands. Maybe it's something else altogether." 

Dive, who's been coming closer, beer mug in hand, chimes in. "A lot of the boys got diver's disease from our trip up from Fishman Island. I've managed to treat them, but maybe Vic here has something similar. It only started after we entered the New World, after all." 

Victoria grunts and shrugs, dismissing their concern. "Whatever. I'll be okay. Not like some headache's gonna hold me back. Just stop being so fucking loud all the time and I'll be fine." 

She heads off towards her tent, leaving her two worried boyfriends and the crew's doctor behind. Kidd sighs. "God dammit. We need her to get better soon. Things are dangerous enough as is without our girl haivng some mystery disease." 

Killer nods. "Maybe you should give her a break from being first mate for a while, let me take over temporarily. Maybe she's just stressed? I don't fucking know." 

Dive snickers. "She'll bite both of your heads off if you do that." 

Kidd snaps at her. "Yeah well then you recommend something if you know better." 

Dive falls silent at that and quickly scoots back to the rest of the crew. 

Kidd sighs. "Fuck, Killer. I hate not knowing what's gotten Vicky down so bad. How can I protect her from mysterious headaches? I can't fight those." 

Killer moves over to sit beside him, wrapping a strong arm around his shoulders. "We'll figure it out eventually. I'm sure of it. Until then, lessen her duties a bit. Let's see if her being less stressed makes anything of a difference. And if nothing else helps..." 

Kidd looks at him scrutinizingly, trying to see through that damned helmet. "Then what?" 

"Then we should get in contact with that other Supernova. The Surgeon of Death. Let's face it, Dive doesn't have that much of a clue of what she's doing, she's never had any proper training, her knowledge is purely from combat experience. Maybe someone with actual medical training can figure this out." 

It goes over about as well as he expected. Kidd jerks up to stand upright, spilling some of his beer through the quick motion. "Beg that spineless bastard for help? No way. He's become a government dog recently. One of the seven warlords. No way am I going to crawl to him begging for help. Over my dead body." 

Killer sighs. "What's more important - your pride or Victoria's health?" 

Kidd grumbles for a while but eventually settles back down. "Hmpf. Maybe if we just send him a message asking to pay for his services. Like a neutral business deal. Not begging that asshole for shit." 

Killer chuckles faintly. "I never said you should." 

Kidd smacks him on the head. "Yeah well whatever. Hopefully Vicky stops getting those damn headaches so we don't need to get in contact with him in the first place." 

First Island or Leaving Kutzk - Day 4

The first island they had encountered after leaving their home island had been one situated in the South Blue. 

Victoria had had a lot of pent up frustration from having to lay still and heal for the past two weeks (during which they'd waited back on their home island, they didn't want Victoria to miss out on the joys of her first voyage across the sea.)

Once they'd finally arrived at their first island, everyone steps off their small nutshell of a boat with sighs of relief. They're all pretty glad that they hadn't had any storms seeing as the small boat would have tipped over the second the waves got too large. 

Building a new one or improving their current boat was the first directive the newly formed Kidd pirates agreed on. 

While Kidd knew how to build a lot of things with metal, he didn't know much about how to build a ship. Heat thankfully did, and through the flame-spitting ability he was born with he made sure to char the surface of the wood they built with to carbonize it. 

Kidd grumbled plenty about knowing better about ship building than Heat did (which he didn't), his ego didn't take too kindly to having to accept help, especially with Heat being a former rival gang leader. 

The Kidd pirates would need a bit of time to really grow together as a crew and start trusting each other. 

They ransacked the local workshops for the materials they needed, giving everyone who tried to stand in their way a rough beating until they were left alone to take whatever they wanted. 

Eventually, Killer says what they've all been thinking. "We need an actual ship-wright. We can't just wing this. If our ship is no good, we're as good as dead out on the open sea. Especially once we get to the Grand Line." 

Victoria giggles, the sound echoing in her helmet. "You guys are all idiots. You've been so hell-bent on building your own ship, you didn't even stop to think of the easiest solution." 

Everyone bristles at the insult, but Heat and Wire have learned their lesson from ever insulting Victoria again. (Even playfully, a story the bruises on their body tell all too well.) 

Kidd huffs. "Then what's the great plan, Vic?" 

Victoria shrugs and gestures towards the harbor. "Easy. We wait for the next big ship to dock, and then we steal it." 

Wire pipes up. "You sure this is a good idea? What if it's a marine ship?" 

Victoria rolls her eyes. "Oh, grow some balls already, Wire. We're pirates now." 

The next ship that docks at the harbor of the island is neither a marine nor a pirate ship, but a luxury cruise ship. It has a large swan head as its figurehead. Stealing it from the civilians isn't so hard, the leftover employees are quickly thrown overboard as the Kidd pirates make themselves comfortable on their new ship. 

Kidd immediately sets out to change the swan figurehead ("That's not manly enough!") into a dragon, although it mostly just ends up looking like a ugly snake-bird with scales and bulging eyes. 

The five of them argue a lot over what their jolly roger is supposed to look like. 

Kidd wants nuts and bolts, Killer wants his and Victoria's helmet and some blades, Heat wants fire and Wire wants some wires on their logo. Victoria is fine with anything so long as it has a really cool sword on it.

They end up all painting the flag on the main mast together, so the end result is completely unrecognizable. While they had all agreed on Kidd's design in the end - with him being captain - they'd all secretly decided that they were going to paint their own design. The end result being one large mess, that is sure not to intimidate any foes. But maybe confuse them into a strategic retreat? Or so Wire suggests. 

Card games - Day 5

Introduction to my Kid Pirates OC Pound!

Quincy slams her cards down on the deck and yells. "ARGH! Can you just NOT cheat for once in your damn life?" 

Pound shrugs and grins at her, not an ounce of regret on his face. "You have no proof." 

Quincy throws two of her throwing knives, aiming them at the sleeves of his sweater, making his ace cards fall out as the tips of the sleeves are cut off. 

Pound's grin widens. "Huh! I wonder how those got there? That's weird." 

Quincy gets up and yells at Victoria who's standing on deck a couple meters away. "Yo, Vics! You're first mate, get this lousy cheater to actually abide by rules!" 

Victoria comes over but doesn't seem to want to do anything. "He's your man. You gotta raise your boys well." 

UK, another one of the card game participants, giggles. "Yeah. You gotta do it like Victoria. She's got captain and Killer at her beck and call." 

Pound grins, gets up as well and hugs Quincy from behind, mumbling into her ear. "Y'aint ever taming me, babe." 

She grunts and rams the back of her elbow into his stomach. "That's for cheating. You're such a crappy loser." 

Pound doubles over and clutches his stomach. "OW! Fucking hell, Quince!" 

Quincy and Victoria high five each other and head off, talking with each other about how their boys barely listen to anything but direct violence. 

Feast - Day 6

Content warning: Kidd Pirates being Kidd pirates and Pound suggesting plenty of violence, cussing, explicit descriptions of injuries, somebody burning to death.

Whereever the Kidd pirates go, they bring chaos. Be it due to them raiding local shops for useful gadgets and berri, or due to them torturing and killing civilians. 

Right now, most of the crew are in the local renowned restaurant. Jaguar, Hip and Mosh had a lot of fun beating up the place's security, and now the crew's settled into the place comfortably, legs on the table, feasting on the dishes that the chefs and waiters keep cooking for them. 

Pound and Killer are in the kitchen together with the chefs to make sure they don't rebel, poison the pirates or run away. Killer is just silently browsing through the local recipe books while Pound keeps making comments that unsettle the chefs greatly. 

"I'm sure your head would look good on one of those fancy platters." 

"How about we use your blood as a spice? Might make your crappy cooking taste a bit better." 

"Oi, you almost chopped your finger off. Are you struggling to concentrate? Are you scared? Are you a big coward?" And then he distracts the chef in question, who's trembling in fear already, by stepping up right behind him to intimidate him even more. Pound's never been shy of physical contact. 

Killer, busy scouring through the recipes doesn't bother correcting his behaviour either. 

Meanwhile, Victoria and Quincy are strolling through the town, exploring the other sights. They come across a large tent with the large letters "MADAME FORTUNA" written on top. Quincy scoffs. "Wow. How clichée. How hard is it to come up with a good name when lies and manipulation are your entire business?" 

Victoria stops in front of the tent, giving Quincy a sharp look. "I'd like to go in." 

"Seriously? Do you believe this kind of superstitious crap?" 

Victoria shrugs. "Eh. I bet most of them are scammers, but you never know, right? What with devil fruits and haki being a thing. Maybe there's actual fortune tellers who have such insane observation haki they can see the future." 

Quincy groans. "Ever since Kidd read up on haki that's all you guys talk about. Jeez. Damn tryhards." 

Victoria immediately defends him. "Oi, he's our captain. He needs to know his stuff. You know damn well he takes our safety seriously. So be fucking grateful." 

Quincy rolls her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, princess." She loves mockingly using Kidd's nickname for Victoria whenever the two bicker. 

"Go on ahead without me. I'm not asking you to do this with me.", Victoria orders, stepping inside the tent. 

Quincy sighs. She'd love to do just that, but she knows that if she runs into Kidd or Killer and they find out she left Victoria behind on her own, they'll have her head on a spike. Figuratively. Maybe literally? She's not so sure with those protective psychos. 

They do trust Victoria to handle herself, or so they say, but they've instructed the crew to protect Victoria with their lives. Which is totally favouritism, but noone's really brave enough to argue with Kidd or Killer. 

Grumbling to herself about her crew being led by absolute morons, Quincy steps into the tent after Victoria. 

The place looks pretty expensive, with velvety walls and carpets laying around. The walls of the tent seem to be rather thick, as it's pitch black inside, safe for the small table shortly above the floor, dimly lit up by a table. 

Of course there's a clichée glass ball and a set of tarot cards laying on the side of the fortune teller. Quincy scoffs, already thinking to herself that this must be another charlatan.

Victoria's already sat down on her knees in front of the fortune teller. She seems suprisingly calm and almost solemn, a state Quincy has never seen her in before. Not that it's easy to read Victoria's moods whenever she has the helmet on. Which is practically always. 

When Quincy steps closer, she finally gets to see the fortune teller, previously having been blinded by the candle right in front of their face. 

Not that their face is visible in the first place. It's hidden away behind a mask, and a creepy one at that. 

The eyes of the mask look like somebody took a pencil and drew manic circles over and over and over until the mask broke in at the center. 

The mouth of the mask is large and unnatural, teeth painted on with plenty of lipstick present around the masks lips. 

But the probably worst part is the stench. Quincy would have expected for a fortune teller to have some sort of scented candles around, some decently smelling herbs, or just, anything appeasing to clients. 

Instead it stinks worse than it does in the boys' crew quarters (and that's to say the smell is so bad you could pass out from it if you had a weak stomach). 

It stinks of decay, rotten eggs and like the fortune teller hasn't bathed in at least one year. 

Quincy is absolutely disgusted, but Victoria seems almost entranced as she's waiting for the fortune teller to speak. 

At least the voice of the fortune teller sounds like what you'd expect, a deep, velvety female voice. "Take off your mask, child. Bare your soul to Madame Fortuna." 

To Quincy's endless surprise, Victoria abliges. Not even a word of protest leaves her mouth as she takes off the mask she's been wearing for a few months now. 

Even in the dim light Quincy can clearly see the abhorrent scar marring Victoria's left side of her face. It's the first time Quincy is seeing Victoria without a mask since Quincy only joined the crew two islands ago, so she can't help but gasp in horror at how bad it looks. 

She can only imagine how bad it must have looked immediately after the injury. The skin is still red and welted, the stitches on the outlines of it ugly and obviously not done by a professional. 

Quincy feels sad for Victoria. She's always admired the fierce woman, but Victoria must be feeling absolutely terrible about herself to have been hiding her face from her own crew for this long. Quince wonders if she even takes the mask off when in private with her two boyfriends. 

And yet, despite apparently being so eager to hide her face, she's taken the helmet off in front of this stranger. It automatically makes Quincy grip her throwing knives. Never know when foul play is present. 

The fortune teller herself doesn't give an audible reaction to Victoria's looks. She puts her hands on the table and demands: "Give me your hand, child". 

The hands of the fortune teller are decidedly old and wrinkled, sporting ugly dark-green splotches that look very unhealthy. Quincy's starting to assume that the foul stench in the air might in fact be portruding from the fortune teller. 

Once more, Victoria obliges wordlessly, holding out her hand for the strange woman to take. 

The terifying mask leans closely over Victoria's hand, her long, slender fingers stroking Victoria's hand in a way that makes the hair on Quincy's neck stand up. 

"Ahhh yes, my child. You are with death." 

Victoria tenses up, but her voice is unmistakably shaky as she asks. "With death? Explain yourself, old hag." But the insult lacks the bite it would usually have. 

"Your life line. It's thinner than I've ever seen before. You're not supposed to be alive. Death will come to you soon." 

Victoria jerks her hand back towards her own body. "That's bullshit. I'm young. Not gonna just topple over and die." Quincy's pretty sure she can detect fear in her first mate's voice. 

"Fear not, my child. Death is but the next step. The stars cannot discern whether it is your death that will come to you or the death of one of those two men close to you." 

That's not something Victoria would ever tolerate hearing. It sounds like a barely veiled threat against Kidd and Killer, so she pounces on the fortune teller, knocking aside the table and candle to hold a blade against her throat. "How do you know about the two men?" 

The fortune teller cackles, a haunting noise that makes Quincy and Victoria even more uncomfortable. "I know more about you than you know about yourself, Victoria Shiruton Doruyanaika." 

Victoria flinches, accidentally drawing blood with the blade. "How the fuck do you know my name?" 

The woman cackles again. "I know everything. That's why you came to me, after all. You know I have the answers. You can feel it too, can't you? The omen of death looming over your head." 

Victoria stands up abruptly, pushing the fortune teller away with her foot. "Quincy. Come. We're done here." 

It's becoming rather urgent that they leave, granted that one of the carpets and now the walls of the tent have caught fire from the candle toppling over. 

Quincy looks at the woman laying in the corner. "Are we-"

Victoria cuts her off with a wave of her hand. "Let's get out of here." 

The fortune teller doesn't make a move to stand up, just laying there, keeping up her ramblings. "Deny it all you want child. Your demise is imminent. Think of me, in those final moments. I will welcome you into the afterlife." 

Quincy and Victoria head out of the tent quickly, the entire fabric now on fire. 

Quincy tries to peer inside but they have to step back to avoid the smoke getting into her lungs. 

Something inside the tent explodes, and they can hear the fortune teller scream in pain. Quincy is about to run back inside and kill the woman to not have to listen to her screams anymore at least, when the pained screaming suddenly turns into loud, manic laughter. 

"VICTORIA!", the fortune teller yells between her fits of manic laughter. "Your omen of death has already brought death to this island! You will join me soon!" 

Quincy drags Victoria away by the arm. Victoria seems somewhat dazed, eyes glazed over. 

Quincy advises her to put her helmet back on before somebody sees her, but when Victoria slowly starts to want to put it on, Quincy's suddenly knocked back in a flurry of red hair and a waving black jacket. 

It's Kidd, quickly holding onto Victoria's arms, shaking her slightly, worry flashing in his eyes. "Vicky. Vicky, what happened? Why aren't you wearing your helmet? I saw the explosion." 

Victoria shakes her head. "I'm okay. Don't worry about it." 

Quincy, gathering herself and getting back off the ground from the rude shove, scoffs. "Had a freaky run-in with a fortune teller. They knew Victoria's full name. And about you and Killer." 

Kidd's body tenses, not liking this at all. "That's not good. Quince, get everybody. We're leaving this island. If they have intel like that on us without us even having bounty posters yet, this might be some form of trap. Make sure everyone's accounted for." 

Quincy heads off to do just that. 

Kidd, who's a bit unsettled by Victoria's dazed expression and getting to see her without her helmet for once, pulls her closer and kisses her desperately, trying to snap her out of it in the only way he knows how (that doesn't involve slapping her, at least). 

It's like he can feel the life return to her during the kiss. Eventually she breaks it off and shakes her head as if to clear some bad thoughts. "Huh. Sorry, Kidd. Didn't mean to scare ya." 

Kidd grunts. "Yeah. Don't do that again. Fucking hell. You okay? You didn't get hurt?" 

Victoria shakes her head. "Purely emotional damage." 

She musters a small smile when she sees Kidd's furious expression. "I'm kidding. That fortune teller just seemed a bit too legit. Creeped me out a good deal." 

Kidd nods and looks at the tent of the fortune teller, now reduced to a pile of burning ash on the ground. "Not very good at her job if she couldn't foresee her tent burn down. And she was still in there? Didn't try to get out?" 

Victoria shrugs, before donning her helmet again. "She was. We heard her screams. It was creepy as hell." 

Kidd nods and grabs Victoria's hand roughly. "Come on. Back to the ship we go. This place is starting to creep me out too." 

Thankfully the Kidd pirates had all managed to get off of the island unscathed. Kidd mentioned Victoria's strange adventure to Killer not long after, and it made the two of them even more protective towards her. 

Masks - Day 7

One morning, as Killer and Victoria wake up next to one another (Kidd having been particularly grouchy and not wanting to join them the previous night), Killer wants to address a topic that has been weighing heavily on his mind. 

"Vic. Do you still feel uncomfortable showing your face around the crew? You know you can trust everyone here."

She sighs, looking up at him, sleep still heavy in her eyes. "I don't want any sympathy." 

He caresses her face, thumb lightly grazing over her scar. "You know that they won't pity you. Noone even talks about Heat's scars, and he has plenty." 

She huffs. "Are you asking me because you're sick of wearing the helmet too? I never asked you to. You know that." 

Killer shrugs and smiles faintly. "I don't really mind. I'm used to it at this point. I just want you to be happy with yourself. That includes your looks." 

He supports his words by planting a light kiss on her scar. 

She lays her head back down, leaning her forehead against his chest. "It's gotten better. I was thinking to maybe stop wearing the helmet soon." 

K: "Good. I'm glad." 

V: "You're starting to like it for yourself, aren't you? I saw your reaction when those marines mocked you the other day. You practically went feral on them." 

Killer sighs. "Yeah. I can't stand that they all think they have any right to make fun of us. Just cause we're a new crew."

"It wasn't just that. They were particularly insulting you and your looks. Kidd and I love your looks, and we're the only ones that matter in this. Well, besides yourself." 

Killer shudders involuntarily. "Yeah. I mean, I'm not wearing it around you and Kidd, I just- I can't help it. My negative thoughts spiral every time someone insults my face and my- my laugh." 

"Oh, Killer." Victoria doesn't say much else for the rest of the morning, just showering him with affection, trying to show him just how beautiful she thinks he is through her love alone. 

Music - Day 8

Sometimes, the Kidd pirates don't attack the civilians on the islands they dock at. Well, not at first at least. 

Sometimes they start things off by giving a concert. Which a lot of the folks living at these islands are too scared to attend, so the crew members head out to force them to watch their concert. 

Killer's the band's drummer, Kidd's on the electronic bass, Victoria and Heat are the lead singers, Quincy and Kidd are backup singers and ocassionally UK will come in on the saxophone. 

Mostly it's just about having fun and getting to fuck around with the type of music these punks like. 

Pound is usually the one responsible for setting up the stage and making sure everything's going to work fine for the Kidd Pirate's next concert. 

Eustass Kidd Playlist in case you'd like to listen to it! 

Spotify variant: 

Get ready - Day 9

So many preparations have been made. The Kidd Pirates have locked Kidd in his room so he can't see anything until everything's ready. Which he's been rather mad about, but none of his complaining and cursing made any difference.

Seeing as they're all still kids, it can be very hard to reach the ceiling to put decorations up, so they use Wire's taller stature a lot to have him hang things high up and when they need to go even higher, Heat's usually the first to sit on his shoulders and put the decorations up.

Killer has been hard at work baking a cake for the past few days. It's going to be human-sized and resemble a large, open treasure crate with "coins" - golden-coloured baked goods - spilling out. It's the most difficult cake Killer has ever set out to bake, and he's been laying awake at night worrying about the cake's structure collapsing in on itself or his greedy crewmates not being able to keep their fingers off of it.

Victoria, in the meanwhile, has been making sure to go ahead and raid the local junkyards on the islands the Kidd Pirates have docked at to get the best and most useful stuff before Kidd got his grubby hands on it. Because of that, she now has a large collection of gifts to give to Kidd (she's even sold some of the parts to her less-prepared crewmates, making good profit off of their lack of planning). 

Pound and Quincy - as some of the more responsible and mature members of the Kidd Pirates - have been tasked with organizing everything for Kidd's birthday. They have a whole schedule of games planned as well as an outing by their band with songs that the siblings Hip and Hop wrote for the special ocassion. Usually planning and structure is very much not the Kidd Pirates' approach when it comes to partying, but they're all dead set on making it work for once to make their beloved captain and good friend happy. 

(talking about the big day tomorrow in bed at night)

Captain's birthday! - Day 10

Kidd's birthday is a roaring success. 

No matter if Quincy's and Pound's planning was mostly for naught and the band members all got so drunk that they totally butchered all songs but the first (the first song being "Happy Birthday", they couldn't possibly butcher that one!). 

Kidd had been like a dog possessed by a scent when they've finally let him out of his room come midnight and the day of his birthday. 

They'd all wanted to congratulate him but he'd just gruffly thanked them abruptly and then went off, nostrils flared, searching for Killer and the huge cake he already knew he'd made. 

Unfortunately, he had startled Killer so much by creeping up on him shifting around some decorations on the cake that Killer had almost fallen into the cake himself. 

Kidd had managed to grab Killer and pull him back just in time. Killer would have blamed himself for ruining the cake for years to come if he hadn't, even though Kidd mostly just appreciates the amount of effort put in - and whether it's going to taste good or not! 

It does in fact taste amazing. Kidd doesn't even know where to start eating - whether to eat the cake in form of a huge treasure crate, or to eat the baked goods pouring out of it first, but Killer had cut him down a slice of the crate and grinned that he should just see which one he liked better for now. 

Once Kidd's stomach had been sated, he'd finally felt ready to welcome all of the congratulations, so everyone wished him a happy birthday, even the ones that had already. 

Kidd was never a tolerable person to be around when he was hungry, and the other Kid Pirate kids respected that. 

They all give him a big hug - except for Victoria and Killer, whom he receives a kiss from (Mosh tries to get a kiss as well, but he smacks him down quickly) - and then everyone starts talking all at once about what decorations they've put up, wanting to show all of their craftwork off all at once like the proud children that they are. 

Frankly they're all talking over one another and Kidd can barely make out what anyone is saying, but once he's got a beer and his birthday cake in his hand he's more than happy to just grin and nod at whatever enthusiastic story his friends are telling him. 

Once they've all had a slice of cake, Kidd is led to a large table with copious amounts of presents on it. It's huge, and he's not sure he's ever been gifted so much stuff in his life. 

He gets super weird about it, continously saying that nobody had to get him anything and that they're stupid idiots for getting him so many gifts, but the blush on his cheek and the sparkle in his eyes betrays his absolute excitement at having so many gifts to open. 

Every new treasure he uncovers under the wrappings gets a squeal followed by a manly "Damn, this is kinda nice" together with one out of various insults towards whoever gifted him the gift in question. 

Overall, the birthday party is chaotic as all hell, but Kidd loves it to bits. While he's not so good at showing gratitude, he couldn't feel any more of it if he tried. 

When the day grows late and the crew plays a bit of spin the bottle and Wire dares him to make out with Victoria, the two start snogging like there's noone else in the room. 

That they've both already drunk plenty of beer definitely adds to their lack of shame, and the other participants of the game just start to play on without them as Kidd ends up falling asleep snoring like a chainsaw on Victoria's lap, completely spent, content and happy with the world. 

Relaxing / winding down - Day 11

The day after Kidd's birthday is marked as "hangover day" in the calendars of the Kidd pirates. Well, that and every other day following one of the crew's birthdays, but they always celebrate Kidd's birthday the most. 

It's not that they appreciate one another any less, but he's their captain, after all. He's the greatest and coolest and so his party needs to be the greatest and coolest as well. 

Cleaning up the mess of the party, however? Neither cool, nor great. 

Which is why nobody ever bothers doing so. 

Victoria lets them get through with it on the day after the party - feeling the effects of the hangover plenty herself - but on the second day she starts kicking the lazy butts of her crewmates and starts assigning clean-up duties for everyone. 

The one's that grumble the most have to do the most work, Victoria tends to be a little evil in dishing out cleaning chores. 

Because of this, Killer usually ends up with the least amount of work assigned to himself, but he doesn't mind so much as some of the other crewmembers, so he can usually be seen helping out even when he's already done with his own load. 

Kidd, being the birthday boy, gets to do nothing whatsoever. Victoria did get him a silly cheerleader outfit for him to cheer on the crew while they work, however. It looks absolutely ridiculous and at first he yelled at her to put that crap on herself, but then he got curious how it'd look. 

It's completely in blue, so it's not a total pink embarassment at least, but did Victoria really have to give him a cheerleader skirt? Looks so stupid. 

But when he does put it on he finds that Killer is very much into the outfit and will start doing even more niceties for him than usual, and Kidd is certainly not above using Killer's new-found simping to his own advantage. 

Later on in the night, when the three are all snuggled up together and Killer's already asleep, Kidd asks Victoria. "Did you know? That Killer would be so into the outfit." 

Victoria chuckles. "Yeah. He mentioned it to me while he was drunk a while ago. Though he said he wanted to see me in that sort of outfit, I didn't know if he'd be into you wearing it too." 

Kidd snorts. "Damn good idea, Vicky. Might need to put it on more frequently if it makes him so happy. But don't tell him I said that." 

She presses a kiss to his cheek. "I won't. Maybe once all the cleaning's done we should both wear matching outfits. Although he might faint if he sees that." 

Kidd laughs quietly. "That's a risk I'm willing to take." 

After this the Modern AU continuous story starts which I'll post separately once it's done!! I think I'll make a separate post for the second half of the writing prompts that aren't the modern AU cause they'll only start back up in a little more than a whole week.

One Piece - Favourite characters + headcannons!

My favourite characters in a tierlist!

Listed by:

Marriage material

Best friend material

Want it as my pet

Cute as a mitten

Scarily attractive

Parent material

Left to right is decreasing in how much I'd like them to be the respective thing.

Now, for those who care (why do you? I'm a nobody, haha), here's an extensive list of reasons! + headcannons for how they'd act in these respective roles.

Marriage material

Doflamingo

Doflamingo is usually second to Kidd in my personal preference, but right now I'm on a big Doflamingo simping spree, probably due to the fact that I'm finally watching Dressrosa for the first time.

I imagine he's either a full on possessive, manipulative and absolutely terrifying husband, or you end up as a trophy wife and he barely pays you any mind, but you know what, I'd be fine with that. Chance of being killed by him: 60%.

Corazon / Rosinante

All I know about him so far is entirely through fanart and small spoilers! I think he'd be a very affectionate husband, the type to bring you small gifts (and ocassionally panic because he left the gift he bought at the cash register).

He totally has a thing for taking in stray animals and giving them a loving home, if it's cats or dogs he keeps tripping over them.

Eustass Kidd

Now Kidd will love you very very deeply and beat up every single person that dares to even make a mean joke about you, but he's also incredibly bad at showing that he cares.

He's gotta look cool, so in public he'll either act like you're just very good friends or that you're some sort of trophy wife, but amidst the crew or especially in private he gets very affectionate and clingy - being physical is so much easier than expressing yourself verbally!

He doesn't mind sharing you with Killer, but if a stranger so much as dares look at you flirtatiously they'll be lucky if they make it out alive.

Ace

Getting together with Ace is already very difficult. He keeps telling you he's not worthy of your love, so you shouldn't love him, let alone date him.

By the time you've gotten him to agree to get married, he's become a little more accepting of your love, even if those doubts never really fully go away.

He's constantly planning fun trips for the both of you and will show you off like a kid would show off their paintings. All of the Whitebeard Pirates are sick and tired of hearing about how awesome you are at this point.

Sanji

I don't think I can add anything new to this. He's constantly swooning over you and spoiling you to the moon and beyond. You get breakfast in bed, you get carried around the second your feet are the tiniest bit sore, and overall he's just so over the moon to have you that sometimes you think you're in heaven.

He's a total family man so if there's kids around you know they're getting spoiled just as much as you are. He thrives when he gets to care for others, and having his own little family makes him incredibly happy.

Sometimes you need to remind him to take it easy and stop doing so much work for everyone because he'll absolutely overdo it and put himself last.

Smoker

He is very gruff and not one for talking all that much. Oftentimes when you tell him things you'll get one of a variety of grunts in response, that you've learned to translate well over the course of your marriage.

You either get to travel with him as a marine spouse or stay safe on an island he helped you get settled down on. If you're staying on an island he's taken extra security measures and has figured out a way to have smoke permanently cloud the area around the house so noone can even find it to begin with.

He's very concerned for your safety and it shows that it's his top priority. He prefers being physically affectionate, but will ocassionally give you small yet meaningful compliments. ("You're the best.") He's usually got some small thing to bring back to you from whatever island he was last on (flowers, sweets, meaningful little gifts), but he really doesn't want you to make a big deal out of it.

Eneru / Enel

You may be married to him, but he's still god. You may be his favourite disciple, but you're still a disciple regardless. You're expected to address him using a formal title of respect and if you fail to meet his expectations you will be punished accordingly.

He does appreciate you worshipping him, but it's more transactional than a genuine loving marriage.

Best friend material!

Trafalgar Law

I found it pretty hard to choose between marriage material and best friend for Law. I do really like him, but for me personally I think he's a bit too freaky to want to be married to him. (See post-marineford: "This will be a fun operation" + manic grin).

If we're talking One Piece Party or One Piece Academy Law's personality, then sure, I'll marry that man, but cannon Law seems a bit too closed off to ever even get close enough to get to date or marry him in the first place. Keep in mind, I'm only like halfway through Dressrosa, I don't know this man's arc yet.

As a best friend, I think he's awesome. He's weird, ocassionally stoic, but also unintentionally hilarious with the way he acts, and he's the king of dry jokes. You wouldn't expect it of him, but he can be the life of the party when he wants to be.

Killer

Another tough choice between marriage and best friend! Ultimately it came down to me simply preferring Kidd's personality in marriage, whereas I do think I'm too similar to Killer and would lack excitement with him.

That's not to say there is no excitement with his man, cause there is! He's the type to support whatever crazy shenanigans you may be going for, even if he'll ocassionally hold you back from doing something that might backfire a bit too much.

If loyalty had a face it would be Killer's, you could not ask for a better best friend.

Hancock

Hancock is absolutely vicious in how she speaks of others. Which makes her the very best girl friend to have for talking shit behind people's backs! She's very funny when she does so, even if you have to put up with her major streaks of egomania all the time.

Crocodile

Do you need somebody to be assassinated? Just hit up your buddy Crocodile. He'll have his agents take care of it for you discreetly. He's a very relaxed man if he feels safe about you.

If you like to talk a lot he'll tell you to shut the hell up, but if you sit together in silence he'll think that you're very cool and companionable.

He likes to invite you out to fancy dinners, although he does expect you to dress and act the part. He doesn't tolerate fools, so if you want to remain his friend you'll have to act dignified.

Mihawk

Mihawk likes to keep you at arm's length, but he's okay with ocassionally having deep philosophical discussions together over a glass of wine.

You exchange reading recommendations with one another but mostly you both do your own things. Oftentimes you're the one that has to reach out to him to initiate contact, he's a little lazy in taking care of his social circle.

Perona

She'll only accept you as her friend if she deems you cute enough for that. Once you've gotten over the part where she wants you to do all her bidding, she's surprisingly fun to be around. She's always up for pranks and her devil fruit makes it very easy to pull them off!

I'm going to skip over the remaining characters here seeing as I don't have any ideas as to what would make them special as best friends. I've listed all of these as best friends because they've shown great loyalty (and sense of honour).

Want it as my pet

Bepo

I feel a little bad putting Bepo in the "pet" category here. He'd make an amazing best friend just the same as everyone listed in that category, I just view him as polar bear first, mink second.

And he does share some traits with say, a pet dog. His fur sheds everywhere and you constantly have to clean your clothes to get rid of it, he's constantly asking for your attention and hugs (and will apologize if you tell him off cause you don't have the time!) and sometimes wants to sit on your lap despite the fact that he's huge and very heavy.

Zoro

Zoro also shares a lot of traits with dogs. He's fiercely protective, loyal to the bitter end, he cares for his food and drink more than most other things and small things such as getting a drink make him very happy. He's low maintenance, so long as you feed him, let him train in peace and ocassionally scratch his scalp he's very content.

That said, you do need to put him on a leash when you go anywhere with him. He's very indignified by it, but you just know he's going to wander off and get lost otherwise.

Any other pets listed literally just have the reason: "omg it's so cute" or "omg it's so dorky", except for Shushu, who just absolutely deserves the world and if I think about him too much I'm going to start crying. That little dog has the most tragic story in all of One Piece.

Cute as a mitten

This category is both optional as best friends as well as lovers / marriage material.

Bartolomeo

As a best friend he'll go through thick and thin with you. His manners make it very embarassing to be around him sometimes, unless you have absolutely no shame. Secretly you think he's kinda cool for how he just doesn't give a shit though.

As your husband - oh boy. He wouldn't settle for marrying somebody he likes less than he does the Strawhats, so he absolutely dotes on you. Think Sanji, except instead of having cool moments this one's a complete slobbering mess all of the time. He'll do anything for you - but you'll also be drooled on. A lot.

Penguin

As a best friend, he's always there for any type of mischief you might be wanting to do. In fact most of the time he's the one suggesting new ideas. Especially if it comes to peeping on women. That's a secret guilty pleasure of his.

As your husband, even after you've been married to him for some years, he still becomes a shy mess from time to time. He's very respectful and polite and still can't really believe his luck that he scored somebody like you.

Marguerite

Marguerite is just so freaking adorable. The way the English dub of Amazon Lily portrayed her was definitely like she had a crush on Luffy, and those two are honestly my favourite Luffy x ship. She saved him from drowning, he saved her from remaining stone for the rest of her life and they get along very well. Also, she has a danger noodle. I love danger noodles.

Shachi

Now Shachi isn't so different from Penguin, seeing as these two have practically spent all of their lives together. Their mothers were good friends so they even got to share a crib from time to time, and it shows.

Shachi is a little more bold and confident than Penguin and will flirt abrasively with every woman he comes across. Not that he's very good at it, in fact he's rather quite bad at it. Who knew that pick-up lines were so unsuccessful? Shachi sure doesn't, and he's a bit too oblivious to catch on.

Baby 5

As her friend, you need to make sure she doesn't make horrible decisions all of the time. It's pretty exhausting, but she's a good listener and can make really funny creations with her devil fruit so she totally makes up for it.

Ikkaku

Ikkaku is always down for a good time. She's a very enthusiastic wing-woman, even if she overdoes it sometimes.

Katakuri

No idea what he's like, I'm only at Dressrosa after all. I did see fanart of him extending his jaw to eat donuts though, which just looks so dorky and so cute, so I've thrown him into this category.

Kaku

Kaku is the best. From his old-fashioned expressions to overall just being very polite and cute, this giraffe man has it all. He's very prim and proper, but he's also down to earth and a great friend to have a round.

He reminds me of Peter Parker (Spiderman) a little. A bit of a dorky nerd, but very lovable regardless.

Scarily attractive

I don't mean just attractive. I'm actually scared of these characters. There's not much to say beyond base attraction here, so I'll quickly go over them.

Domino - has one of my favourite designs in the whole series. Maybe I just like women in uniforms, who knows. We don't know anything about her beyond her seeming strict and being attracted to Hancock.

Sady - again, attraction to women in uniform, I guess. Even if hers is a little extreme. I just love the bangs covering her face so much and her colours work great together.

Monet - BIRB!!!! I love Birbs. Especially Harpies. And she looks so freaking good with those silly glasses!

Carmen - Oh, Carmen. What a lovely lady she was! It's a shame she's gone forever now. Maybe she was filler? I'm not sure. Sanji should have adopted her.

Kuro - I wish him being a strategist had been explored a little further, in terms of what strategic exploits he'd been up to in the past. Well, basically I just want more Kuro content. I feel like he's exactly the sort of psychopath that will stab you with a knife while you're kissing him. Very hot!

Caesar - Generally I do feel scared of folks who might commit genocide while I'm in their vicinity. But his design looks freaking awesome!

Kalifa - That's one sexy lady. How freaking dare she hurt Sanji, though!!

Sexy Arlong sister shark lady - Oh my god her eye looks so cool, and so does her shark tail thingy!!

Viola - Dancers are just cool in the first place, and Viola's going against Doffy, the man who oppressed her for so many years, is just admirable.

Lovely lady from Viper's squad on Skypeia - She's cool, brave and fearless! Why am I scared of her again?

Parent material

There's not much to say for why I want these characters as parents except for I think they would make good ones. Some of these we have as parents in cannon - Bellemere with Nami, Zeff with Sanji, Dadan with Ace, Sabo and Luffy, Viper with that little girl - and for the others I just have small reasons, pretty much.

Iceburg - he'd totally make his secretary change the baby's diapers because he's too lazy (and grossed out) to do it, but he'd still be there for you when he needed to (and couldn't delegate the work to anyone else).

Robin - would want to compensate for not having any parents of her own (that were ever around), so she'd be extra careful to make sure her child received all the love it would need and would never have to undergo the years of loneliness like she did. She'd read you a lot of stories and would encourage you to read from an early age.

Sometimes she enjoys the kid's books far more than you do.

Hina - no good reason, just strong sense of justice, strict and ocassionally funny mom to have.

Duval - no good reason either, but a very funny stupid dad to have.

Paulie - would need to overcome his indignity of seeing any woman showing skin to have a kid in the first place, but he'd be very careful to make sure his kid grew up right (and would dress up properly if it was a girl!)

Magellan - he's shown great responsibility and carefulness in leading Impel Down right. He might have some issues making time for parenting between being the Warden and sitting on the toilet all day, but he'd make it work. Maybe make Hannyabal do some of the dirty work for him.

If you've made it this far - thank you so much for reading!! I really wanted to throw my headcannons of these characters in the respective positions out into the void. Have a lovely day!

One Piece collage which I'm proud to get to have hung in my room!

Single pics for better effect:

Eustass D. Husband Kid

Roronoa Zoro

Portgas D. Ace

Donquixote Doflamingo

Trafalgar Law

Donquixote "Corazon" Rocinante

One Piece - Alternative Clothing Master List

Luffy

Kidd

Killer

Corazon

Doflamingo

Nami

Marco

Law

Ace

Kid x Killer - bunkmates

With the lights still on

Lost in their own thoughts

The adjacent room